-qw 2 yw r 2B - The Michigan Daily - Weekend, etc. IMagazine - Thursday, September 20, 2001 lqw 14 W Ww .qw The Michigan Daily - Weekend, etc. Magazine Horoscopes Random interview with chicken soft taco eater Albert Kahn: Inspiration for the Modern." See Thurs. Saturday By Mizz Velveeta Weekend, etc. Astrologer Aries: March 21 - April 19 That Swedish penis enlarger is a bad, BAD idea. Taurus: April 20.- May 20 Your singing in the shower has dramatically improved. Send a demo tape to a record compa- ny and your dreams of superstardom will come true. Gemini: May 21 - June2l Yes, your GSI is making "lovey eyes" at you. Find out his/her address and pay them a surprise visit Saturday night. Don't forget to bring some flowers. Cancer: June 22 - July 22 You are not paranoid - you are going bald. Buy some Rogaine, ASAP. Leo: July 23 - Aug. 22 You are a person that takes risks. Your weekend exploits will wind up in next week's 'Crime Notes.' Virgo: Aug.23 - Sept. 22 Travel is in your future. Post a phony resume on the Internet and you will be whisked off to excit- ing locations for all expense paid interviews. BOOKS Libra: Sept. 23 - Oct. 23 - It is time to form a stronger and more open rela- tionship with your parents. Give them a call and tell them about the more personal details in your life including that bitchin' kegger you went to last weekend and the hottie that you hooked-up with. Scorpio: Oct. 24 - Nov. 21 Everything else in your life will go to hell, but remember clean underwear is essential. Sagittarius: Nov. 22 - Dec. 21 Since none of your friends will tell you, I will: You need to pick-up a pack of Tic Tacs. Capricorn: Dec. 22 -Jan. 19 The private showing that your horny neighbors put on for you is really an invite to join in. Aquarius: Jan. 20 -Feb. 18 Your chances of getting hit by a meteorite are high this week. Use this luck to your advatage and play the lotto. Pisces: Feb.19 - March 20 Your quest to find the world's best bathroom tissue will finally come to an end. By Josh Wickerham Daily Arts Writer The Michigan Daily: Hi, may I speak with Brandi? Random: This is. TMD: I'm Josh Wickerham from the Michigan Daily. I conduct random student interviews to gauge public opinion in an informal way. You have been selected for coverage in The Michigan Daily's Weekend, Etc. section. How does that make you feel? R: What? Hold on please, OK? (long silence - over two minutes). Hello? TMD: Is everything OK? R: Yeah, who is this again? TMD: This is The Michigan Daily. How does that make you feel to be randomly selected? R: I don't know. TMD: Have you ever read The Michigan Daily? R: No. TMD: And do you have a general perception of the paper? - I R: No, not really. TMD: Why is it that you've never read the Daily? R: I don't know. I never get it. TMD: You're a student on campus, right? You should be able to get it. R: Yeah, but I don't. TMD: So what do you study? R: I'm a freshman, so I study things that are irrelevant to what I want to do. TMD: I want you to explain the logic behind God's existence. Can you accomplish such a feat? R: That I can explain the logic behind God's existence? Hmm... I don't think there is a logic behind God's existence. I'm a Christian and everything and I believe in the Bible and that's as far as I take it. TMD: How do you feel about the current political climate on campus? R: I don't know. TMD: What's your favorite Taco Bell item? R: My favorite taco bell item? I'm not much of a fan of Taco Bell, but if I did have to eat there, I would eat a chicken soft taco. TMD: Do you think Flow-Be is a viable alternative to frequenting hair salons? R: I don't know what Flow-Be is. TMD: Flow-Be is the vacuum- power haircutting machine that's sold on TV Have you ever used one? R: No, I don't know what that is. T MD: I'm looking at aupicture of an ink blot. what (i ouonsP19 R: Seriously, what the heck is this'? TMD: This will appear in the Daily tomorrow. You should read the Daily for the first time and see your name in print. Do you believe me? R: Nope TMD: If you were going to inter- view a student on campus random ly, what would you ask? R: Depends on what I had to inter- view them about. I would interview them about something they were interested in. TMD: There isn't some question that you're dying to ask, just ran- domly? R: Nope, not really...no. Do you r know Lukas'? TMD: Who'? R: He writes for the Arts section (at the Daily). TMD: I don't think so, unless he's the one who told me to call you. Can you tell me your last name? R: I don't want you to print my - oh wait, nobody knows me anyway, so it doesn't matter. Reed WANT TO BE FAMOUS? $rr AROUND YOUR PI4ONE WEWNEsDAY WIGHT AND MAYBE JosH WILL CALl YOU' Bread and Tulips (2000) Thursday. State Theater. 9:30 p.m. See 2, 4:30 7 & Nadine Epstein Discusses Mayan Medicine - This author reads from the book she co-authored, "Rainforest Home Remedies: Physical and Spiritual Healing of the Maya." Signing will follow. Crazy Wisdom Tea Room, 2 p.m., 114 S. Main. Free. 665- 2757. CAMPUS CINEMA American Rhapsody See Friday. Michigan Theater,4, 7 & 9:30 p.m. The Princess and the Warrior (2000) Like the fairy tale, except not. Michigan Theater. 4, 6:45 & 9:45 p.m. Saloon Garden Dine-In & Carry-Out Vietnamese & Chinese Cuisine 1220 S. University (at the corner of Forest) The new Line Chinese Cuisine Paz garden -*ecfsl in Hong K< Hunan (313) 995-1786 Szechu 116 S.Main St. S an (Bewteen W. Huron and Ma Washtenaw) Carryoutd Veget and reservations dish accepted. Open 7 Days 11 am-11 pm 1 ?" ' Ly , , Sun-Thur. 11 am to 11 pm Fri 11 am to 11 pm Sat 11:30 amto 11pm 734 747-7006 Happy Birthday! Charley's woukllike tohe thefirst to congratulate you with a free mea. Just bring along a friend and proper ID, and selectyoer favorite entree from our famous menu. It's just our way of saying Conqratulations V and1 thanks frr Charley's celebrating with us. 110 S.Uiveirsity at Chutrch 668-84111 O T10598 - - - -- Z- MEXICAN CAFE Ann Arbor's Finest Mexican Style Food! Michigan's Largest Selection of Gourmet Hot Sauces & Salsasl WE DERIVER! call 761-6650 'til 1 a.m. Sun. - Tues. 'til 3 a.m. WedA. - Sat. 333 E. Huron The Deep End (2001) See Thursday. State Theater. 2:15 & 7:15 p.m. 0 (2001) See Thursday. State Theater. 4:45 & 9:30 p.m. MUSIC Annie Dubrinsky U of M student, singer/songwriter, pianist, badass. Leopold Bros. 523 S. Main St. 9 pm doors, 9:30pm show 21+ $5 747- 9806 Knee Deep Shag It won't just be knee deep, it will be totally deep when you do the freak with them. The Blind Pig 208 S. 1st St., 10 p.m. $5 ($7 under 21) 996-8555. Dangerville Highway to the DAN- GERVILLE! Elbow Room, Ypsilanti, 10:30 p.m. $4 483-6374. Dusty Libido With a few swishes of a dust mop, this libido could be raging. T.C.'s Speakeasy, Ypsilanti 10:30 p.m. $3 483-4470. THEA TER "24-Hour Theater: Part VI." Presented by Basement Arts, this hilarious pro- duction pits playwrights, directors, and actors all getting locked up in prison, in a series of one-act plays. 10 p.m. Arena Theater, Frieze Bldg. Free. 764-6800. "www.love: A 21st Century Romance." Ann Arbor composer Kevin March and L.A. playwright Kim Yaged search for love over the internet in this comical chamber opera. 8 p.m. University Media Union Video Studio, 2281 Bonisteel. $15, $12 stu- dents/seniors. 528-9414. "Taking Leave." See Thurs. $25."Hastings Street 2001": The teenage performers of Mosaic Youth Theater bring Hastings Street back to life in this production. In honor of Detroit's 300th birthday, the show captures the jazz music and excite- ment of 1940's Hastings Street. 7:30 p.m. Lydia Mendelssohn Theater, Michigan League. $10, $5 stu- dents/seniors. 763-TKTS. "Shockheaded Peter": 7 p.m. and Midnight. $14-35. 764-2538. ALTERNA T/VES "In Human Touch: Photographs by Ernestine Ruben." See Thurs. "Donald Sultan: The Smoke Rings." See Thurs. "Albert Kahn: Inspiration for the Modern." See Thurs. Sunday CAMPUS CINEMA American Rhapsody See Friday. Michigan Theater. 4, 7 & 9:30 p.m. The Princess and the Warrior (2000) See Saturday. Michigan Theater. 4, 6:45 & 9:45 p.m. Bread and Tulips (2000) See Thursday. State Theater. 2, 4:30 7 & 9:30 p.m. The Deep End (2001) See Thursday. State Theater. 2:15 & 7:15 p.m. 0 (2001) See Thursday. State Theater. 4:45 & 9:30 p.m. MUSIC Soulcracker You've seen them on Vhf's Band On the Run and if you care to see more come check it out. The Blind Pig 208 S. 1st St., 9 p.m.$12 996-8555. Michigan Chamber Players They may not be as exciting as chamber maids but if they are U of M music faculty you bet they can play and if they want to play chramber music, well, groove on. Michigan League, Mendelssohn Theatre, 911 N. University 4 p.m. Free 763-1085. Bird Jam Jazz Session Strawberry jam? Decent. Cherry jam? Tolerable. Bird Jam? DELICIOUS! Bird of Paradise 312 S. Main St., 9:00 p.m. $2 662- 8310. THEA TER "www.love: A 21st Century Romance." See Sat. 3 p.m. '"Taking Leave." See Thurs. 2 p.m. $20. ALTERNA TIVES "In Human Touch: Photographs by Ernestine Ruben." See Thurs. "Donald Sultan: The Smoke Rings." See Thurs. "Albert Kahn: Inspiration for the Modern." See Thurs Monday BOOKS Rainelle Burton at the Guild House - Novelist Burton celebrates the written word during "The Union of Poetry and Prose." The Guild House, 8 p.m. 802 Monroe. Free. 995-1956. Enger Reads at Shaman Drum - Leif Enger reads from "Peace Like a River," his newest novel. Signing to follow. 8 p.m. Free. 662-7407. CAMPUS CINEMA American Rhapsody See Friday. Michigan Theater. 8:45 p.m. The Princess and the Warrior (2000) See Saturday. Michigan Theater. 9:00 p.m. Paths of Glory (1957) A.I. still sucks. I just want to make sure you all under- stand that. Michigan Theater. 7 p.m. Four Little Girls (1997) A documentary about the 1963 Birmingham church bombing. Michigan Theater. 6 p.m. Bread and Tulips (2000) See Thursday. State Theater. 9:30 p.m. The Deep End (2001) See Thursday. State Theater. 7:15 p.m. 0 (2001) See Thursday. State Theater. 9:30 p.m. MUSIC baby. St. 8 rocky just the way you The Firefly Club 207 5. p.m. $5 665-9090. The Bird of Paradise Orchestra Try the orchestra, maybe that will get you laid. Bird of Paradise 312 S. Main St., 9:00 p.m. $5 662-8310. Acoustic Open Mic The chicks will think its cool when you play Dave Matthew's songs but those guys in the corner are going to kick your ass. Tap Room 9:30 p.m. Free 482-5320. ALTERNATIVES "Donald Sultan: The Smoke Rings." See Thurs. "Albert Kahn: Inspiration for the Modern." See Thurs. MUSIC Avant Mondays: Kuz Flashpapr Trippy, nosiy, rocky just the way you like it baby. The Firefly Club 207 S. Ashley St. 8 p.m. $5 665-9090. The Bird of Paradise Orchestra Try the orchestra, maybe that will get you laid. Bird of Paradise 312 S. Main St., 9:00 p.m. $5 662-8310. Acoustic Open Mic The chicks will think its cool when you play Dave Matthew's songs but those guys in the corner are going to kick your ass. Tap Room 9:30 p.m. Free 482-5320. ALTERNA TIVES "Donald Sultan: The Smoke Rings." See Thurs. "Albert Kahn: Inspiration for the Modern." See Thurs. ike it Ashley BOOKS John Fulton Reading - Novelist rea from his latest book, "Retributior with a signing to follow. ShamE Drum, 8 p.m. Free. 662-7407. CAMPUS CINEMA American Rhapsody See Frida Michigan Theater. 7:15 & 9:30 p.m. Nico & Dani (2000) I think it's t sequel to Milo and Otis. Whatever, I going to Moe's. Michigan Theat 9:15 p.m. L'Amour (1972) That means love foreign talk. Micnigan Theater. 6:0C Bread and Tulips (2000) See Thursda State Theater. 9:30 p.m. The DeepaEnd (2001) Se Thursda State Theace,. 7:15 p.m. 0 (2001) See Thursday. State Theat 9:30 p.m. MUSIC Duncan McMillan Slam Duncan, sla The Earle, 121 W. Washington St. p.m. Free 994-0211. Risque Hot and steamy, and if its r than that name is a big letdow Habitat Lounge, Weber's Inn 30 Jackson Road 8:45 p.m. Free 66 3636. WOW! This movie is gonna be great! Look at Mariah Carey looks so shiny in "Gli Avant Mondays: Kuz Flashpapr Trippy, Tuesday Blind Pig Showcase Rubberhead Lounge and Blind Pig 208 S. 1st St., ($2 under 21) 996-8555. Check c Whelm. T 10 p.m. Fr J ALTERNATIVES "Donald Sultan: The Smoke Rings See Thurs.