12 - The Michigan Daily - Wednesday, December 12, 2001 Top ten films with numbers in the title Bionix, De La Soul; Tommy Boy By David Kerastas Daily Arts Writer Twelve years - practically unheard of in the rap game. Simply possessing a record deal for that many years makes a big statement. Yet, since the milestone Three Feet High and Rising was released in 1989, the native tongue crew De La Soul has maintained a steady fan base by providing a con- stant counterpoint to the sporadic hip-hop trends of the '90s. Perhaps the most salient aspect of De La's music is the carefree playfulness they bring to hip- hop, which combines well with the crew's intelligent style and positive themes. And while they may have lost some of the more hardcore heads with their first installment of Art Official Intelligence, they gained even more listeners from the popular music sector. The second installment Bionix contains 18 tracks of, simply put, quality music. No song will grace the billboard charts, but I would not have the album without any of them. Thankfully, De La has cut down on the cameos. Now, most come from soul artists - a sad step down from the likes of the Tribe, the JB's, Common Sense and Mos Def, who graced the tracks of previous albums. The album's No. 1 single "Bay Phat" is a hilarious ode to the natural shape of a woman. Long-time fans will be pleased with lighthearted party tracks like "Simply" (which samples, get this, Paul McCartney's "Wonderful Christmas Time") and "Simply Havin'." "Peer Pressure" offers some advice that should be particularly relevant to stu- dents here at the University. I especially like Bionix because, as with all De La albums, it mixes it up with a variety of song types, spare beats and the occasional skit. Ultimately, no song is simply a car- bon copy of another. Granted, De La has sacrificed much of its Afro centricity for a more popular sound, and the crew is now following more trends than it is setting. But the qualities that initially made De La so great - intel- ligent, playful rhymes and quality beats - still remain, proving that hip-hop artists do not carry a half-decade shelf life. Grade: B As the year closes and more and more top 10 lists figure into issues of your favorite publications, it struck us here at Daily Arts that an arbitrary redux of the year's/decade's/semester's finest was arrogant on our part. As it's the last day of the semester, though, we are well aware that the brain-power of most students is akin to Dr. Hunter S. Thompson after a four-day cocaine binge. It is out of love for our readers that we write this simple article to help you kill time in your final classes of 2001, full of silly one-liners and lots of bold typeface. So, without further adeu, Daily Arts counts down the top 10 films with numbers in their titles. To make it easy on those who have both finals and 13-page papers on the plight of Dante contextualized against the backdrop of Shanty Towns, the numbers in the film will correspond to their place on the list. 10. Malcolm X - While there is no actual "American" 10 in his name, those of you who remember elementary school may recall for- eign "Roman Numerals," of which 10 is signified by pur American let- ter "X." This Spi l Lee joint stars Denzel Washington as the Civil Rights icon, and, against popular lore, is not actually the 10th film in a series. When reached for comment Mr. Lee told the Daily "The number you have dialed is not available. Please hang up and try again." 9 112. 9 112 Weeks - In order to make a quality top 10 film list with corresponding numbers, this film is a necessity. How can you resist Kim Basinger and Mickey Rourke hot and heavy by the fridge? (Blindfold- ed, mind you). This film is about as unrealistic as it gets. I mean, what relationship based on sex lasts only 9 1/2 weeks? Chocolate syrup isn't just for ice cream anymore. 9. The Whole Nine Yards - While there is certainly a nine in the title of this film, of real interest is the stellar film presence of actress Amanda Peet. Star of the critically acclaimed television series "Jack and Jill," as well as Academy Award- nominated moving picture "Saving Silverman," Peet, regardless of plot or clothing, shines in an unrestricted role. As dental assistant-turned- gangster moll, Peet lets it all hang out, stripping her character to the bare-bones. Some may write the film off as ass-inine, but we feel ... oh, you get the idea. 8. 8 Heads in a Duffle Bag - With a studio exec thinking he had just cemented his place in film his- tory, Director Tom Schulman was allowed to make the cinematic equivalent of having your eye torn out by an angry puma. With Joe Pesci starring as a gangster (what, like Joe would play a male nurse?), and George Hamilton in a support- ing role, what could possibly go wrong? We're embarrassed to even put this flick on the list, but the only other "eight" movie we could think of was "8 Seconds," with Luke Perry as a rodeo champion. Don't force us to go on. 7. Six Days, Seven Nights - There is quite the controversy over where this fine film should fall, as it includes two separate numbers. The Harrison Ford/Anne Heche vehicle (scooter, if you will) clearly deserves a mention, as it is the best stranded-on-an-island flick to sur- face in years (take that, Hanks). While the six does come first and should take precedent, we frankly thought of a funnier entry for six. Speaking of ... 6. Leonard Part 6 - Bill Cosby riding an ostrich, one would think, would be the highlight of the story- courtesy of Columbia Pictures teller/comedian's vast career. Cos himself told people to stay away from this superhero spoof. At a taut 85 minutes, the film comes in about two hours too long, and may be one of the worst films ever made. That said, we would rather watch solely this movie for the rest of our lives than have to see anything else with Chris Klein. 5. Rocky V - Sylvester Stallone ("Rhinestone," "Oscar," "Stop or My Mom Will Shoot,") decided that the only way to follow up an Academy Award-winning movie is to make four of the worst sequels in film his- tory. Seriously, this makes "Look Who's Talking Now" look like "Metropolis." It makes you long for the good ole' days of "Over the Top" and "Judge Dredd." Yet elitism aside, the fifth installment of the popular series was a hit with the fans, and that's all that really mat- ters, isn't it? 4. Fortress - Christopher Lam- bert and Kurtwood Smith are truly the Hope and Crosby of futuristic prison movies set against the back- drop of an America that prosecutes people who try to flee to Mexico in order to escape a new law prohibit- ing them from having more than one child. While there is no actual num- ber, the first syllable is clearly a homonym for one (well, four). Now that this masterpiece of modern sci- fi is out on DVD, you have no excuse but to enter "The Fortress." 3.14. it - Mathematics and the term "taut, suspenseful thriller" usu- ally have about as much in common as corn-on-the-cob and the Spanish Inquisition (with the possible excep- tion of "Euclid the Barbarian"). Dar- ren Aronofsky's ("Requiem For a Dream") first feature is so good'that we had to squeeze it in here between two "real" numbers. 3. Three Fugitives - As if Mar- tin Short, Nick Nolte and sheer hilar- ity were not enough, there is a cute little tyke to make this the warmest comedy in years. Barring, of course, every other comedy that has ever been released by a major motion pic- ture studio. Oh, but there is that scene where Nolte has his nether- regions sniffed by a dog! Get it? Dogs like to sniff balls! At least the little girl doesn't talk. Child actors, in general, should not be allowed to. 2. It Takes Two - Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen stretch their onion- flake thin acting ability (they don't even play sisters!) as two girls who bring Steve Guttenburg and Kirstie Alley together (a capital offense in some countries). The girls hone their skills by smiling and making sur- prised faces while hijinks ensue. The girls prove that they are the most precocious two-some to ever grace the silver screen. Macauley Culkin is waiting somewhere over the rainbow. 1. The One - Identical Jet Lis are almost as good as identical Jean- Claude Van Dammes, Jackie Chans or Hayley Mills. Does the same guy write all of these? Do people actually think "Hey, twice the action, that kicks ass?" So "The One" is not par- ticularly original, but it certainly has a number in the title that corresponds to our number on the list, and it has got some trippy Buddhist ideology and more kicks than you can shake a stick at. 4 41 On Fire, Black 47; Gadfly By Gina Pensiero Daily Arts Writer Ska mixed with bagpipes isn't dead! Uh ... yeah. And it's not just the annoying Dropkick Murphys either. New York-based Black 47 do an excellent job at it, infusing ska with traditional Irish immigrant sound and spirit on their live album On Fire. Somehow they manage to combine just enough upbeat humor .with a political message so they balance each other out. They describe themselves as "drinking music for thinking people." This album is just a ridiculous amount of fun. It literally makes you happy. It makes you want to jump around and be Irish too. Instrumentally, the band is pretty crazy. They have a killer horn sec- tion and the bagpipes add a nice element. Additionally, there is an incredi- ble amount of energy captured. It might be appropriate to say the band almost comes off as somewhat rowdy. A few highlight tracks include "Czechoslovakia," in which lead singer Larry Kirwan sings about a Czech girl who "wants to come to America and be a capitalist like me!" and "Rockin' the Bronx," where some elementary rap is attempted. Seriously, all I want to do "is be rockin' the Bronx," too. This album is a nice buy if you're looking for something light and amusing, but not mindless. Long live the Irish. Grade: B+T i _ AIY ARTS EISHESYOU A > OD::: O REGISTRAR'S BULLETIN BOARD WINTER TERM CLASSES BEGIN MONDAY, JANUARY 7, 2002 WINTER TERM * Register or drop/add: on WWW at http://wolverineaccess@umich.edu REGISTRATION Wolverine access will be available over the Winter Break. 9 0 WITHDRAWAL FROM WINTER TERM (DROP ALL COURSES) DISENROLL FALL TERM GRADES REGISTRATION TRANSACTIONS AVAILABLE on Wolverine access: INITIAL REGISTRATION for classes, ADD a course, DROP a course, SWAP a course or sections. of a course, MODIFY a course, WAITLIST a course. DROP/ADD for Winter 2002 will be available through The Web from your appointment time through January 27th (except during scheduled maintenance). Access through Wolverine Access on the World Wide Web (under Student Business). If you need to obtain PERMISSION for a class, you must 1) contact the department to obtain an electronic override, AND 2) access Web Registration to process an add. PLEASE NOTE: IN ACCORDANCE WITH REGENTS' POLICY, STUDENTS WHO REGISTER AND SUBSEQUENTLY WITHDRAW AFTER THE BEGINNING OF CLASSES WILL BE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE REGISTRATION AND DISENROLLMENT FEES. THIS ASSESSMENT OF $130.00 FOR WINTER TERM WILL BE MADE REGARDLESS OF WHETHER OR NOT YOU ATTEND CLASSES. If you wish to disenroll from Winter term and avoid all charges, you must do so by January 6, 2002. Either 1) send a letter to the University of Michigan, Office of the Registrar, 1010 L.S.A. Bldg., 500 S. State Street, Ann Arbor, MI 48109-1382. 2) FAX (734) 763-9053 3) e-mail (ro.registration.questions@umich.edu) 4) Visit a Student Service Site (1010 LSA Bldg or 1212 Pierpont Commons. The dates to withdraw from Winter Term and pay only a $50 Disenrollment Fee and an $80 Registration Fee are January 7-27 (before the end of the first three weeks of classes). Compiled by Daily Arts I 0 Hear your grades on Touch-Tone: Call 8-1645 (on campus) (734) 998-1645(off campus) ani