4A - The Michigan Daily - Thursday, March 29, 2001 (Itefrt gr Dail 420 MAYNARD STREET ANN ARBOR, MI 48109 daily.letters@umich.edu Friends, Romans, countrymen: I was snubbed CHRIS KULA UNSUNG ANN ARBOR EDITED AND MANAGED BY STUDENTS AT THE UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN SINCE 1890 GEOFFREY GAGNON Editor in Chief MICHAEL GRASS NICHOLAS WOOMER Editorial Page Editors Unless otherwise noted, unsigned editorials reflect the opinion offthe majority of the Daily's editorial board. All other articles, letters and cartoons do not necessarily reflect the opinion of The Michigan Daily adies and gentle- men, on the morn- ing of Saturday, April 28, thousands of the University's seniors will file into Michigan Stadi- um to be recognized for the completion of their college careers. They'll walk before their friends and families in a proud showing of accom- plishment, and the memories of the moment will be grand. But the sad truth is, on this graduation day, something will be terribly amiss. The ceremony will be marred by an oversight so grievous that it will cast a dark shadow on what should other- wise be a glorious day. You see, dear friends, this commencement program will feature a student speaker, and that speaker, tragically, is not me. (Cue the pipe organ's descending "Dunh dunh duhhhh...") Several weeks ago, I turned in my applica- tion to be the student speaker and, oh, let me tell you: It was quite the speech. Dry yet endearing, humorous yet relevant, witty yet profoundly touching. Religious movements have been inspired by less impassioned works. And the recorded version was nothing short of aural gold. My deep voice, polished by years of demanding vocal training in a Venetian con- servatory,' rang true on the Sony microcassette, pouring forth like the purest white chocolate - melted, of course. Then, this past Monday (or as schoolchild- ren of the future will call it, The Day of Right- eous Injustice To Be Mentioned Neither Here Nor There), I received a crushing e-mail that caused much weeping, gnashing of teeth and tearing of clothes. And after deleting this chain letter, I then found out that I hadn't been picked to give the commencement speech either. Apparently, in a late-night meeting held somewhere in the torch-lit catacombs beneath the Fleming Administration Building, the mys- terious Committee to Elect a Student Speaker had convened around a pentagram-shaped table and decided my cruel fate. "We must never allow Chris Kula to share his vaguely satirical graduation message with the masses," they agreed. "Also, we must gain control of the banks and the media." However, it will take more than a shadowy government conspiracy to silence me. Whereas my fellow rejected speechwriters can do noth- ing but mask their disappointment and pursue careers in public relations, I can jump on the bully pulpit of the column and take my protest to the people. That blasted committee has no idea what they're passing up. Only once in a great while does a writer come along to tap into the spirit of the human condition and create something so profound, so affecting, that it simply must be shared with a larger audience. And when that type of individual is not an option, that's when you call a Chris Kula. After all, the public is already familiar with the style of a Chris Kula. Between print circula- tion and online readership, it's safe to say that at upwards of 50, 55 people read the column on a weekly basis - and at least half claim to enjoy it. And of those 25 diehard fans, research shows that at least a half dozen are not cun' enatly incarcerated. And once you subtract the fivc freshmen girls I keep on my payroll, you'll ... all right, have growq tired of this bit, and I care not 1 i finish it. The bottom line, in all seriousness, is that I really am disappointed that I won't get e chance to give the commencement s e Sure, it would have been a thrill to speak before thousands of people in the Big House, and 'sure, it would have made for a great anecdote to bring up completely out of context later in life ("No, doctor, I don't floss, but I was the speak- er at my college graduation"). But what-most disappoints me is the lost opportunity to add some levity to the potentially too-solemn vibe of the day. I would have given a fun speech. No"We are the future of tomorrow" cliches, no rev t quotes from Churchill or Roosevelt, no exc s read from "Tuesdays with Morrie" - just a light-hearted message about being young. The long line of distinguished faculty and learned scholars at the ceremony could make their pro- found statements about life for as long as they want, and I'm sure some of them would'actual- ly be very good. But the best commencement speech? Sadly, that's the one you won't be hearing - expt in mumbles, through gritted teeth, if you'n - ting anywhere near me during the ceremony. I will have my very feeble, very sad vengeance. Chris Kula 's column runs every Thursday. Give him feedback at www.michigandailv.comf rum or via e-mail at ckula(Tumich.edu. LETTERcuS O Ruling allows 'U' to focus on socio- economic factors TO THE DAILY: I am writing to address the various affirma- tive action lamentations published in yester- day's Daily, "A hurtful decision: Friedman's ruling damages diversity." Judge Bernard Friedman's decision should be welcomed here at the University and at the Law School in particular. The decision gives the law school the opportunity to move beyond the stale idea that race is the best measure of diversity. Every justification for affirmative action at the law school centers on the idea that a diversity of ideas is necessary for a complete legal education. I agree, but the question then becomes why race is used as a proxy for view- point diversity. Somehow it is okay for the Law School's admissions office to use stereotypes, but not the rest of society. Instead of race, the Law School should give socio-economic factors more weight in admis- sions. Maybe all the upper-middle class minori- ty children of doctors and lawyers really do have different views than the upper-middle class white children with doctor and lawyer parents, but I doubt it (and Law School class discussion proves otherwise). Using a more varied admissions process will yield better viewpoint diversity, which has been the stated point all along, rather than just diversity of skin color. Viewpoint diversity is sorely lacking at the Law School, as evidenced by the fact that the Daily couldn't even find one Law Student to go on record stating a position supporting Judge Friedman's decision. People really interested in improving legal education should be happy with the verdict; this case may give the University the political cover to move beyond stereotypes of race that serve as the back drop for the current admissions process and into a process that seeks to help all disadvantaged students, not simply students of a minority race. ANTHONY ROEHL Second-year Law student Affirmative action decision grounded in 1964 Civil Rights Act TO THE DAILY: In their Viewpoint "Friedman's Anti-affir- mative action decision must not stand," (3/28/01) Agnes Aleobua, Jessica Curtin and Erika Dowdell charge that Judge Bernard Friedman "relied on every dishonest legal trick and lie" in his decision in favor of the plaintiffs in the Law School affirmative-action trial. But surely it was no lie to quote from Title VI of the 1964 Civil Rights Act: "No person in the Unit- ed States shall, on the ground of race, color, or national origin, be excluded from participation in, be denied the benefits of, or be subjected to discrimination under any program or activity receiving Federal financial assistance." I chal- lenge anyone to defend the legality of the Uni- versity's admissions programs in light of that unambiguous federal statute. JUSTIN SHuOw Rackham m .1 Na _K r 4iTOOL~~ continues to elude the chief student publication of one of our nation's best universities. Perhaps the Daily has unwittingly succumb to the pressures of the latest witch-hunt over- taking America. Much like the label "Commu- nist" could destroy a person's credibility and reputation in the McCarthyist 1950s, so too does the label "racist" today immediately dis- credit and destroy the reputation of anyone unlucky enough to be branded such. And just like the Red Scare of the 1950s, the "White. Scare" today can try, convict and destroy a man with just an accusation. People-are afraid today to express views which favor the equality of all individuals instead of giving favor to a "disadvantaged" group, for fear that they will be labeled a racist. As organizations like BAMN have demonstrat- ed over and over again, anyone not sharing their narrowly-held view of how to create "equality" will be labeled a racist. This usually happens at the point when their arguments fail to hold up from either a logical or constitutional approach, and the only way to "win" their argu- ment is to discredit their opponent. Anytime anyone disagrees with BAMN, out comes the "R" word. In their viewpoint, "Friedman's Anti-affirmative action decision must not stand," (3/28/01), Jessica Curtin and her cronies describe Judge Bernard Friedman's rulings as "biased, unfair and racist." According to the Daily, at a rally held after the verdict came down, members of BAMN denounced Fried- man as a "segregationist, Jim Crow judge" Could it be possible, just for a moment, that the man looked at the facts and rendered the best, constitutionally-correct verdict he could, based on the evidence presented? Not if you ask BAMN. Anyone who stands in their way is a racist. The witch-hunt mentality is perhaps best summed up by your quote in the story, "Stu- dents shocked by decision" (3/28/01). First- year Law student Ken Plochinski admits that "There are students who do not fully agree with the Law School's admissions policies, but no one admits to their ambivalence." Another stu- dent, who refused to be identified, also dis- agreed with the school's policies, said simply "Racial bias must end in all forms, and I view affirmative action as a continuation of bias in some form." Take a poll of everyone at the University, and I guarantee that the vast majori- ty will agree with that statement. Of course, the student could not give his name for fear that he'd be crucified (by BAMN and others) for his beliefs. It is a sad state of affairs when students at an institution supposedly dedicated to intellec- tual freedom are afraid to express their beliefs and thoughts for fear they will be targeted by a Outsourcing jobs at the University is a serious travesty and the attitude of removing the union positions by management only adds.to the dilemma. Unions, through their actions, brought the nation the 40-hour week, health care benefits, family medical leave, safety and health stan- dards, overtime for work more than 40,hours, minimum wage laws and others through' r efforts. To remove union jobs, management must consider that eventually they also, if not their children, will eventually see a reduction in ben- efits. Take a gander at how President George W. Bush is formally attacking the union's posi- tions on campaign contributions as an example (www.aflcio.org/bushwatch/indx). Why would management want to hold down the union's ability to actively lobby? The only gain would be concessions from the union employees. To those of you who are not conceredas you graduate from the University and gain employment, remember that the benefit pAck- age you desire was a byproduct from the union bargaining for its members. The companies, corporations and various businesses had to offer these same or comparable benefits td all in order to keep the employees that they hire from moving on. Additionally, better benefit packages and job security keep long't employees on for the employer, and whenie employer can count on these employees the operation will run at efficient levels. Most of all remember this from Cesar Chavez, past-president of the United -Farm Workers: "Once social change begins, it cannot be reversed. You cannot uneducate the person who has learned to read. You cannot humiliate the person who feels pride. And you cannot oppress the people who are not afraid anymore" Don't be afraid. Voice your opinion' and help others. GLEN University staff The letter writer is the chief steward of maintenance for AFSCME Local 1583. How BAMN can find next targets of their anti-racism campahg?- To THE DAILY: I would like to announce to all of the mem- bers of BAMN that as a favor to them, I have replaced all of the mirrors in their places of ies- idence with magic mirrors a la Snow White. I UtVI~ tJJI1JI 4~'td.VV~J. 411U ~l1~fl~k~4 t.AIIJ~L.' ~