xzni - rme micrttgan ry mi- VVMF~tuu7 ti... raIugMII - MUMM~iYrecuury ec, £Uvv . . TELEVISION MADE FOR MEN I have a terrible confession to make. I watch XFL football. It all started when I was forced to watch it when hanging out with some guy friends. I'm used to having to watch "Jackass." "O4z" "The Sopranos" and excessive sporting events with them. so, of course, when the XFL was introduced. we just had to watch it. And while my male friends appreciate the fbotball on the field they seem 'to appreciate the league's cheerleaders even more. I'll refrain from a rant on the terrible objectification of these women, and instead just laugh at how easily the aver- age male is entertained. I remember watching another show with a large male following, Comedy Central's "The Man Show" and seeing how enthralled my male friends were by the fact that a guy could bite into a beer can with his teeth and guzzle its con- tents while holding it in his teeth. They were also equally amused by the many skimply-clad dancing females that they dare to call the Juggy Dance Squad. For people not familiar with these women, they're the chicks who have a habit of jumping on tram- pol ines. . Thus, all objec- tification and laughing aside, I'll attempt to briefly remove my claws for the ultimate "Battle of the XFL Cheerleaders vs. The Man Show Juggy Squad." Dancing: The XFL cheerleaders tend to have choreographed dances and stay more or less in sync with the rest of their squad consisting of about 20 cheerleaders. The Juggies, as they're affectionately known. are more of free-style dancing troupe. Although very disorganized. the Juggies have poles installed throughout their set which they sometimes swing on, giving them a boost. Advantage: Even Costumes: XFL cheerleader uniforms are gener- ally a two-piece concoction that barely cover the girls. Juggies have been seen Lindsey Alpert Put Out or Get Out Attention: Pre-Med/Pre-Nursing Students Excellent opportunity to work with doctors in a camp infirmary setting, as a Camp Health Officer.We will pay for the short certification course. Enjoy working in a beautiful Northern Michigan setting. v4 rImmigration Canadian immigration Specialists If you have a bachelor's degree and one-year work experience, we can help you immigrate to Canada! Free online assessment is available For further information, please Call us: (519)985-6002 Visit us: www.newworldimmigration.com Summer 2001 Our catalog of summer classes is ready to be mailed to you. It gives you a complete listing of our course offerngs, special workshops, and travel programs. Call today for our Summer Catalog. Sessions beginning May, June, and July To request a catalog: Call us at 216-397-4257 or e-mail us at mkeaveney@jcu.edu Look us up at www.jcu.edu/summer EASY REGISTRATION * CONVENIENT LOCATION SMALL CLASSES " FREE PARKING wearing anything from milk and cookies to German fru-fru outfits. While the cheerleaders are consistently more scant- ily clad. the variety of the Juggy costumes makes the the superior choice. Advantage: Juggies Cleavage: This isn't even a contest. In the first two XFL games I watched, it was hard to remember the cheerleaders' faces due to the excessive amount of cleavage dis- played. As this seemed to be the main focus of the cameras, I think most other people had the same difficulty I had. Advantage: XFL cheerleaders Beauty: This one was initially hard to judge because cleavage got in the wa of'seeinu the entire XFL cheerleader. Based on the website pictures of each XFL teams cheerleaders (some, are sans clca\age) they j (st don t seem to look as good. Advantage: Juges Personal A ppeal: I arch show his a -pecial prt of the slc\tv here either a c eerleader or a Juggy is introduced. The cheerleaders are introduced as an XFL cheerleader by night and some other profession by day. I never remember my kindergarten teacher looking like that. "The Man Show" picks a Juggy of the Month who's showcased on their website. and interviewed on the show. Juggies also distribute beer. participate in sketches and of course. bounce on trampolines. Advantage: Juggies And the winner is: Cleavage aside. the XFL Cheerleaders really had nothing on the "The Man Show" Juggies. The choice is obvious. 'Advantage: "The Man Show" Juggies Lindsci;Allert can he reached (t Ia/pe-rt( Cunflhich. eduI SCOREKEEPERSI I portsgrill & Pub By Andy TayloFabe Daily Art-, Writcr While some people spend their spring breaks relaxing in tropical par- adises, basking in the rays of the sun and sipping drinks twith parasols in them, some of us end up spending our vacation sitting on the couch, subsist- ing on a diet of popsicles and flipping between "'Animal Planet" and Fox's "Police Videos." Not that there's any- thing wrong with that, but the back- bone of any good lazy break is a solid stash of movies. So, to ease the pain ol the non-vacation, here is a list of films that will ensure that this spring break liveS on in your memories, forever. Okay, not reall}. "ombstone (1993)-This account of the struggle between the Earp broth- ers and the infamous "Cowboy" gang is one of the best Westerns of the recent past. It is also the crown jewel of Val Kilmer's career (apologies to the Iceman). Ihis scene stealing portrayal of gambler and gunfighter Doc holiday is fantastic, and a solid cast (including Kurt Russell and Sam Iliot) makes this film a must-see. "The Last of the Mohicans" (1993) - Patriot. Shmatriot. This epic story of' war, love and death, taking place dur- ing the French and Indian War, is a truly great film. Daniel Day Lewis's commanding portrayal of llawkeye. adopted son of a Mohican. gives the movie its center, but it is completed by an equally excellent suppolrting cast and a chilling and memorable sound- track. The last action sequence on the mountain is one of my favorite scenes ever. "Z" (1969) - This film about the overthrow of the democratic govern- ment in Greece is a first-rate thriller about assassination, conspiracy and the quest for the truth. When the right- wing military forces of the government try to cover up their assassination of the democratic candidate, the Prosecutor must try to uncover what really tran- spired. Although made by a Greek director, the film is in French. See FILM GUIDE, Page 68 a Bring me the remote: A guide to spring br Native Americans capt The Michigaicy - Weekend - M CALLING FUTURE phlTherapi You are invited to attend an information session on Central Michigan Universitv's 9..C%'SR yR USQA V A Ai QiSSS .' M AS.M1AJ PHYSICAL THERAPY PROGRAM. Wednesday, February 28, 2001 Wednesday, March 28, 2001 Wednesday, April 18, 2001 *All sessions will be held at 6:00 p.m. in Pearce 136. Application deadline for fall 2002 is 1/15/02! Contact us todayfor a session reservation, program inform aion, or to obtain an application! Contact the Admissions Office at 517-774-1730 Phone or 517-774-1853 Fax F-Mail: chnadimit icmichedu , ' -tat*V%*. fLttQ &*flS5 t rv5L ~ SCMpro ides individuals with disabilities reasonable accommodations to participate in university activities, programs, and services Individuals with disabilities requiring an accommodation to participate in this program should call the College of Health Professions Admissions Office. UPCOMING UAC EVENTS! UNIVERSITY ACTIVITIES CENTER cap'°J00 AsO Cl. S 0 L 754 CALL DRINKS B E A M FRIDAY=3 ' /7 i t 27 Taps' Ful Menu! -s V BOTTLES Only 750 SATURDAY 31 MAYanMn -- 995.000 21 & OVERVAWTHPROPERI1 [a i JIU NINl liNiY '"'7.'9 !' ViW L/ a VTGVr nrrr.. rr.i. s.n.v a