4 - The Michigan Daily - Tuesday, February 20, 2001 I e £irttiwgntt & g 420 MAYNARD STREET ANN ARBOR, MI 48109 dailylettersvumich.edu Indulgences return, courtesy of the 'justice' system.i NICK WOOMER BACK T.O TiiE WOOM EDITED AND MANAGED BY STUDENTS AT THE UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN SINCE 1890 GEOFFREY GAGNON Editor in Chief MICHAEL GRASS NICHOLAS WOOMER Editorial Page Editors Unless otherwise noted, unsigned editorials reflect the opinion of the majority ofthe Daily's editorial board. All other articles, letters and cartoons do not necessarily reflect the opinion of The Michigan Daily n Finland, speeding is f always expensive, no matter how much you're worth. Wealthy $ Internet entrepreneur Jaakko Rytsola knows - when Finnish cops pulled him over for going 43 mph in a 25 mph zone late last year, he got nailed with a $71,428 ticket. The Finns use two factors to assess penalties for traffic violations - the severity of the offense and the size of the offender's income. The more you make the more you pay. No doubt such an egalitarian approach to law enforcement will come as a surprise to many Americans - but should it really? Even my esteemed capitalist colleagues at The Michi- gan Review would probably agree that getting a speeding ticket should not be anything like pick- ing up a mocha at Starbucks. Societies fine peo- ple for breaking the law to discourage everyone - rich and poor alike - from breaking it, not to sell the privilege of violating the law to those who can afford it. There are striking similarities between the medieval Catholic Church and the modern American legal system. As everyone knows, wealthy aristocrats used to be able to annul their sins by purchasing "indulgences" from the Church. Today, if Bill Gates gets pulled over for speeding on his way to work, the state might fine him $85. If the same thing happens to the custodian who vacuums Gates' office at night, he'll also be paying $85 for his transgression. The difference, of course, is that in the former case that $85 is (probably not even) pocket change whereas in the latter case, his kids might spend the rest of the week eating ramen noodles for dinner. When the state fines every lawbreaker a fixed rate for the same crime, it is, in effect, sell- ing the ability to commit that crime for the price of the fine; breaking the tw becomes commodi- fied. Want a pack of cigarettes? Hand the ven- dor $3.95. Want to go 15 over? Hand the state $85. What's the relevant difference? The way the cost of speeding tickets is cal- culated underscores a more fundamental prob- lem with criminal "justice" in the United States. This situation has probably been articulated best by comedian Chris Rock, who has, as of yet, been the only person to say anything remotely insightful about the O.J. Simpson murder case: "If O.J. drove a bus, he wouldn't even be 'O.J.' He'd be 'Orenthal the bus driving murderer!'". Any honest person must admit that - regardless of whether he is actually guilty or not - the only reason O.J. is free today is because he had the financial resources to hire some of the nation's most successful lawyers. If O.J. drove a bus, he would not be playing golf in Florida; he'd be waiting for the state of California to kill him with a potassium chlo- ride injection. While hiring Johnnie Cochran doesn't always necessarily constitute a "get out of jail free" card, it is certainly the case that having a top-notch lawyer is going to have a significant impact on one's chance of getting convicted. And even if one does get convicted, a well rest- ed and well paid lawyer is far more likely to effectively argue for a more lenient sentence than an overworked and underpaid public defender. Anyone skeptical of this claim ought to ask himself or herself: "If I was facing a criminal charge, would I be just as comfortable being represented by a public defender as I would if Alan Dershowitz was representing me?" Of course not -- it would be counter-intuitive to suppose otherwise. The reason people hire pri- vate attorneys in criminal cases in the first place is because they think that doing so will improve their chances of getting the best possi- ble outcome. Admitting this puts the proponent of the sta- tus quo in an impossible position since there cannot possibly be "equal justice for all" if spending a lot of money on a renowned attorney is usually going to increase one's chance of acquittal or leniency in sentencing. So if we are going to regard a crime as it ought to be regarded - not as a product sold t": the wealthy fbr the price of an across-the-boa-d fine or a good'lawyer, but as a practice everyone ought to have an equal incentive not to do, then" the American j'ustice system has to undergo rad- ical reforms. Nbt only do fines need to be deter- mined by the size of the offender's income, buth even the lowliest drug offender needs to have ; equal access to'the same lawyers O.J. does. Justice cannot be blind unless the United States abolished a system that lets the wealthy purchase the ability to break the law. Nick Woower's column runs every other Tuesday. Give him feedback at wwi.michigandaily.comnforun or via e-mail at nwoomer@umich.edu. Wild animals are natural resources TO THE DAILY: Emily Achenbaum's column ("Hunting: Wasteful, cruel and definitely not a sport," 2/19/01) was unbelievably ridiculous. It wasn't ridiculous simply because she has a view that's different than mine but because of her logic. From the column it appears that she formulated her anti-hunting opinion based on what she saw while babysitting in an' out- doorsman's home. She saw mounted animals. From that she concluded that hunting is "wasteful, cruel and definitely not a sport." The Michigan deer population is so high that it causes an unbelievable number of traf- fic accidents. Sometimes the deer cause peo- ple to swerve off the road into trees or other cars. As a result of these accidents, a lot of cars are wrecked and a lot of people are bruised, paralyzed and killed. I think that's a waste, Achenbaum. The truth is that population control is paramount to managing our wildlife and hunting is an operation of population control. Nothing is wasted, the animals are eaten and/or their fur is used. Bottom line, wild animals are natural resources just like trees, oil and coal. When these animals are harvested for human benefit, it is justified along the same lines as forestry. There is nothing cruel about harvesting an ani- mal. The shot of a 12-gauge feels no different to a pheasant than the teeth of a hungry bobcat. When our forefathers (especially the French and English) came to the new land they hunted, fished and trapped. It is part of American heritage to participate in these activities. To deny people of this would be denying them of their heritage. A'iT1S1;A ~U CL alGTOO W94T TO IMAt4K WM W '4.lTO A E.0 To be in the outdoors participating in fact that the rest of the country was observing " these activities is to spit in the face of drug President's Day, a federal holiday. I am writing and alcohol abuse. Young people involved in to question the University's policy toward the hunting and fishing are less likely to abuse observance of federal holidays.s substances and go to jail. Achenbaum needs I am wondering what authority the Unie4 to look beyond the concrete jungles of our versity has to pick and choose which holi- cities and beyond the residence of her days to observe. Federal holidays are. babysitting job to form a fair and educated designated by the government not only to" opinion on hunting. Judging people and their allow hard working Americans to take a day' activities is not wise without thinking it off to enjoy time with family and friends buty through first. also as a means to honor the commitments MATTHEW AGIUS LSA senior U needs to observe all federal holidays TO THE DAILY: Yesterday, Feb. 19, was another usual day for the people associated with the University. We went about our business oblivious to the and dedication of others. Michigan's academic calendar chooses to observe a few federal holidays but ignores President's Day and Veterans Day. Is it right for the University to pick and choose which holidays to observe based on a matter of con- venience because it fits into the semester's schedule? And does the University have the right to choose which holidays have political implications worth observing on campus? A4 so, that is a bold assumption. JUN TAKAYASW LSA sophomore Do you keep it 'real?' Methinks not. DUSTIN J. SEIBERT ENTER THE MANIFESTo eah, it's our par- ents' fault. They were the first to distort our reality. More than likely, they were the first ones who ever whis- pered a lie to our tender ears. They were the ones who told .us that Santa Claus brought us toys in his big red sleigh on Christmas. They told us that we came special delivery as babies from the stork. They told us that the kids at school made fun of us because they were jealous of our accomplishments. Despite the fact that, as adults, we all recognize these childhood "com- forts" as pure dingo shit, these aberrations of the truth have nonetheless left the impression in our minds that real-life problems can be solved through such pleasing distortions of reality.. Sure, it was harmless back then, but some of us simply don't want to let go of the easy answer. And so we haven't been quite right since childhood. We fabricate in our minds little half- truths and justifications to help us feel better about a given situation. Unfortunately, as we grow older, it gets so out of hand with some people that they formulate complete realities exclusive to their minds that are separate from the real world. Kinda like "The Matrix," only without bad actors and a confusing plot. doors that we would rather keep from the God Almighty. Allow me to formulate a simple hypothesis: To stay completely and wholeheartedly true to oneself is unarguably impossible. Every man, woman, and child has some inhibitions to their credit. This is quite a shame because even so- called "ideal" citizens have skeletons in their closets that may otherwise ruin their credibility. Look at Bill Clinton - standout President and cool mo-fo to boot, except he gets brain from some lady that wasn't the "First" one, and now he is such an awful human being not worthy enough to remain in the Oval Office. Spare me. I don't even want to imagine how many card- carrying members of NAMBLA are in the Republican Party. With so many organizations, religions and people in existence to condemn you for the things that you do, is it any surprise that folks are scared to express themselves? I feel that it is my duty to allow certain examples of everyday bullshit that is often taken for granted: People get the impression that the Universi- ty enrolls only the best of the best, cream of the crop, super-geniuses who are absolutely guam- anteed success with that diploma in hand. The reality is, there are a lot of stupid muthafuckas in this school. And I don't mean "freshmen liv- ing in Markley" stupid; I mean stupid to the point where they can hardly function in social always be. I mean, do you really wanther toe know how broke and nasty your ass really is? Finally, I can't help btmt identify the fact that so many people today dge religion as nothingw more than a limited set df values that they were born into. So many folks who claim that they. are "devout" make it a point to violate every rule and stipulation of their religion that they feel can be broken without losing that ultimate salvation. I grow tired of those who feel the need to distort or alter the ideas of religion for personal benefit; doing so effectively eliminates the point. The concept of "God is forgiving" is. so overrated that people use it as an excuse for their malevolent actions and a comfort zone for the accompanying consequences. Religion made easy for all!o I would hate for people to gather from this column that I am o high and mighty and above- all the issues that I speak of. There are many things that I would not do or say for benefit df my greater interest. It took me years to open my eyes to the reality of the world around me, and there are still some things that I have yet to accept (ask my mother). Forgive my arrogance, but I feel that there are many people whose eyes are still wide shut, and that's why I am' here. That's why I am The Manifesto. For the benefit of confused 12-year-olds and residents of the state of Connecticut, allow me to clear up those aforementioned aberra- A'lA V* i f*, lilP A1MirMA* f ngtj hiit ir H g n h-~rrh"