9 - The Michigan Daily - Tuesday, February 13, 2001 JG K INDUS Grammy Nominees 2001, Various Artists; Capitol Records 8y Chris Kula Dally Arts Writer Hey, kids: At long last, now you can bring all of the fun and excitement of the Grammy Awards into your very own home! The Grammy Nominees 2001 com- pilation album offers 17 selections from artists nominated for Grammys in the categories of Record of the Year, Album of the Year, Best Female. Pop Vocal Performance and Best Pop 'erformance by a Duo or Group with a Vocal. Passed over by the Grammy voting committee because you're a hack writer at a student rag? Don't worry - just pop in the Nominees 2001 disc and enjoy the responsibility of choos- ing which musician's artistic expres- sion is superior to that of his contem- poraries. Record of the Year: Award presen- Oers won't be saying the name of "Destiny's Child, and though Macy 'Gray will try to walk away with the prize, she'll stumble. "Music" may make the bourgeoisie and the rebel, but it won't make Madonna a Grammy winner, and the ceremony will be any- thing but a "Beautiful Day" for U2. The winner? The best pop song of the past year, 'N Sync's "Bye Bye Bye." See? With Nominees 2001, you, too, can be an iconoclastic pop music crit- ic (horrid puns and greater-than-thou elitism sold separately). Invite over your friends and pass judgment on the nominees in the three other categories represented on the disc. Steely Dan versus Eminem, Britney versus Aimee Mann, the Barenaked Ladies versus the Corrs - you make the wholly subjective call. Rock criticism, it's fan(boy)tastic! Grade: N/A All Things Must Pass, George Harrison; Capitol Records By Luke Smith Daily Music Editor Nevermind that Harrison was the sec- ond worst Beatle. Nevermind that the only Beatle he could say he was better than was, well, Ringo. Forget that Harrison settled a lawsuit against the validity of "My Sweet Lord." And no matter what, forget that Harrison video for "Got My Mind Set on You," where the patron saint of dull sat in a chair and wouldn't move, so the director had to move everything around him, (thank you VH 1 Pop-Up video). Harrison is by no means a disposable member of the Fab Four. He is not to be confused with that Starr fellow. Remember though, this is the album that outsold both Lennon and McCartney's first solo releases, but the whole lawsuit thing kinda rained on that parade. What a bitch. Nonetheless, despite all these things, Capitol Records went back, re-mastered and repackaged this Harrison vehicle, and made it a bit more road-worthy than the original. All Things Must Pass is a lucidly lay- ered record, thick with texture and filled with heavy rhythm tracks. Harrison's album features Eric Clapton (unable to receive credit for the record till now, and Genesis post-Gabriel maestro Phil Collins - "Invisible Touch" anyone?) Complacent and lengthy (running 7:08) "Isn't it a Pity" is a tunefully rueful love song winding behind a tambourine, piano and drums. The track is propelled by a series of lengthy guitar solos, and in my 90's bred pop mind that translated to, "Hey, he ripped off 'Champagne Supernova."' Infectiously written riff-age launches "What is Life." Harrison combines so much on this track like gang vocals, "Hello-Goodbye"-esque horn sections and a fabulous hook. Songs like this, "Band on the Run" and "Oh Yoko" show AUJ I LA IAU&%S absolutely no drop-off in quality from when the mop tops were still together. Harrison effectively moves back and forth between Beatles-y pop and his own ornately fashioned songsmithery. "Behind that Locked Door," even teeters on the edge of being a country song, it does have that Bryan White twang to it a la 1996's Between Now and Forever. These Harrison hooks and arrange- ments do seem to find a niche some- where in the back of my head. Exchanging confused glances with other Beatles' fans and then plucking the CD off of the shelf is more than a good idea, fora lot of you out there, it will be neces- sity. You will read this review and go, "Luke Smith, this dude, he knows his shit, and since he said that Beatles' fans should own this record and I certainly am a Beatles fan," you will march your ass down to the record store and you'll shell out something like $25 bucks for this Harrison joint. You'll marvel at the packaging, which is a sexy black box with both CD's stored in free fall small cardboard slippers because he says it's "environmentally friendly," or some- thing. Grade? What the hell do you mean "Grade?" It's George Harrison. Grade: A Ills- I ®t The Best ofAlice Cooper- Mascara and Monsters, Alice Cooper; Rhino Records By Chris Lane For the Daily Even though Alice Cooper already has like three Greatest Hits CDs, Rhino Records;figured that a "best of" album was necessary for the pioneer of shock-rock. Die-hard Alice fans be "warned, you already own this album. New guy, thinking of joining a new generation of admirers, this album will get you on your feet, but, first, please consider the consequences of seriously "admiring an androgynous, "devil-wor- shipping," shock-rocker whose down- time activities include drinking Arnie Palmers, wearing plaid knickers, and the VH 1 celebrity golf tournament. -All blaring contradictions aside, the -album is a collection of Alice's best work, everything from his early anthems to his later, poppier metal. There are even a few sappy power bal- lads for the true connoisseur. But rest assured, just a few ballads. After all, Alice's essential appeal is certainly somewhere else. Somewhere under the running mascara and the 20-foot boa. Somewhere in that perfectly appropri- ate voice - all the gravel and grating necessary to fuel teenage rebellion and to pull off exaggerated stage theatrics. When I think Alice, I think "Welcome to My Nightmare." I think "Muscle of Love." But hey, the Detroit native isn't all pomp. "I'm Eighteen" is vintage 70s hard rock. Those twangy guitar solos and thumping bass drums have a bit of the same flavor of the Stones or Creedence. You might also think back to 1989 and recall that catchy chorus you know you were humming "... I wanna kiss you, but your lips are ven- omous POISON." Yes, "Poison" Imakes a well-deserved appearance. That song is about STDs, right? And ladies, Alice is not just for the guys. With songs like, "I Never Cry," and 'Only Women Bleed," Alice exhibits a softer, ironic side that is sure to strike a nerve. And let's not forget the classic high school anthem, "School'sOut? Yeah, Alice Cooper wrote that song. So, if you can get past: The fact that his look was an inspiration to Marilyn Manson, his circus of horrors or what- ever approach to music, and his plaid golf bag, than you've got some decent music here. Chalked stiff with 22 semi-solid rockers for your listening enjoyment, and one hell of a ringmas- ter to guide you through. But really, Alice never said that he wasn't out to give the audience what they wanted. He never said he wasn't an entertainer. Let's all take comfort in the fact that the release of The Best of Alice Cooper - Mascara and Monsters isn't supposed to mean any- thing. Not to Alice, and not to the audi- ence. It's just business as usual. Picture it... There's Alice relaxing at the coun- try club. Sporting a polo and a cigar. Wearing his new rubber spikes because the club banned the metal ones to keep the greens extra smooth. And then he gets a call from Rhino records asking about that new album, which is supposedly on the way. Alice describes conflicts of tennis lessons and two o'clock tee times. What to do? Then somebody pitches the "Best of" album, and nobody dissents. No need to preserve the artistic integrity of his work, so why not? Alice could use a new corvette or something. Alice gets to go back to golf, and we get some entertainment. Why not? Or perhaps more fitting. Why? Grade: C+ BEING STEVE MALKMUS Stephen Malkmus, Steven Malkmus; Matador Records By Christian Howd Daily Arts Writer Stephen Malkmus has always been a smartass. He's always been a romantic, too. The yoking of those opposites - and a few other choice contradictions as well -- were what made his early work with Pavement so incendiary: Both lucid and sardonic, pop and anti-pop, he had an arm- load of hooks and an armload of real feelings and enough rock 'n roll swagger to make all of it sing. As Malkmus grew older, his slacker quixoticism evapo- rated. By 1997's Brighten the Corners, he wasn't on a coun- terculturalist mission anymore; he was just, you know, doing his mildly-derisive thing. The hooks were still there, sure, but' the edge-of-your-seat thrills had been replaced by tunes that seemed to favor private roman- ticism (love me because I'm so sly, baby, and because the worldr sucks, by the way) over making cultural fragmentation romantic. That gentle nosedive into complacency made it easy for Malkmus to slide gracefully into his thirties. And since no one's expecting him to save the alt-rock world anymore, it's also made it easy for him to slide into a solo career. Lou Reed - to whom Malkmus can be compared in several respects - scored his first hit only after he left the Velvets, but it's doubtful the same thing will happen for Malkmus. On his eponymous solo debut, his songs still slant toward fuzziness, his lyrics are full of smartass-isms or non-sequiturs and delivered in that same whispery, off- key sing-speak., Which isn't to say that the tunes aren't catchy. They are; there's even one called "The Hook:' It's about S.M. hang- ing out with pirates. Whether or not that scenario happens to be an extended metaphor for growing old as an alt-rock icon (or something), you might smell schtick. I certainly do. At least two of these 12 tunes are merely okay and prob- ably wouldn't have made the cut were they recorded for a Pavement record. What's worse is that he's capitulated to slackerdom in a way he was oft accused of (but didn't) while with Pavement. That band offered both cheap thrills and a sense of overarching purpose behind all of the tune- fulness. Stephen Malkmus is a little light on the latter. That said, it's a fine piece of work, one that proves Malk- mus could still out-write most of his contemporaries with his Stra- tocaster tied behind his back.' Malknus the smartass hasn't quite killed off Malkmus the romantic, and a couple of these songs (especially lilting ballad "Church on White" and the resplendent "Trojan Curfew") are shot through with genuine sensi- tivity and some drop-dead gor- geous melodies to boot. His sense of humor is less Thomas Pynchon and more Merry Prankster than before. Where his love of irony led him to survey the fringes of alt-cul- ture on Crooked Rain, pitching vitriol at old hacks and young imitators, here he's just happy to sing about whichever jokers he saw on PBS or read about in last week's New Yorker (Yul Brynner, Tro- jans, Eskimos, a hippie couple with a dog named Trey). In short, he's having more fun than ever, and I hate him for it. Which makes me wonder why I can't get these songs out of my head. Grade: A- Standards, Tortoise; Thrill Jockey Records By Andrew Klein Daily Arts Writer Tortoise has been called post- rock heroes and the leaders of the new age of experimental under- ground music. Underground musi- cal innovators of the rock world on the other hand, are celebrated by a small number of fans and then remain forever in the shadows of popular music. Popular music con- tinues to "evolve," for lack of a bet- ter word, without knowledge of the underground. On Standards, Tortoise have cre- ated a synthesis of the past 50 yenr of music and constructed a cohesjv> laboratory soundtrack. So much s that listening to the band's new album is a confusing task. There is a combination of entire- ly new sounds with familiar melodies. Tracks that change direc- tion without hesitation with an album that flows from track to track so well that you can pass from the beginning to the end without know- ing that the album is divided into ten songs. And that is one of the intriguing things about Tortoise. Their music works just as well as absent-minded background music as it does as an intense intellectual experiment into the history and meaning of music. The Chicago-based Tortoise are no strangers to innovation. Theit 1994 debut, self-titled album con- sisted of three basses, no guitars, and no vocals, something they hae never used. Their second album showed their use of the studio as a member of the band as they completely reworked the songs from their first album. 1998 saw the release of TNT and then the band toured relentlessly throughout the world. Well, they also recorded and performed with their other bands, worked on sound- track projects, produced albums, an built studios. Somehow, they fou'n time to create Standards. The album title is the first indica- tion of what the album is about. Standards is an album of a new style; of standards. It is an album that is; more jazz than rock, more ambient- dance than jazz, yet more structured than ambient. The opening track "Seneca" opens with almost two minutes of feedback heavy, end-of-the-concert-chaos, and then breaks into the most compelling groove of the album. The fast paced, spooked out, instrumental riff is played over a electro-Bonham drum part and a sampling of weird sounds. "Monica" offers an entirely differ- ent picture. Here the band dabbles in motown gone hip-hop. Other songs- sound like a collision between Coltrane and Debussy. Whatever Tortoise is doing on Standards, they are one of the only rock bands to use electronic capabil- ities to the advantage of experimen- tation without becoming obsessed with repetitive looping and an elec- tronic sound. But then I guess tht's why they are not a rock band. Grade: A- The Best of Tevin Campbell, Tevin Campbell; Qwest Records y Heidi Wickstrom Daily Arts Writer Who's kickin' it old school.with the T. Camp in the '01? Riiiiiight ... Me neither. Nevertheless, Tevin Campbell has recently released the requisite Best Of Tevin Campbell record, for all the hard core fans that have been hanging on since the early '90s. Which, coinciden- -tally, is about the same time that his last *ong was released and the last time that he scored anything that resembles a hit. For those of you who need a refresher course, (which I'm guessing is most of you), Tevin Campbell is a former teen R&B phenom, discovered by legendary producer Quicy Jones, and whose talent and performance skills have been honed through count- less mall tours and teen 'zine inter- riews. A more recently-applicable example, following in Campell's foot- steps, is pre-adolescent crooner and backstreet brother Aaron Carter; only Ae's whiter and lacking in the silky smooth groove department. And yes, folks, Tevin Campbell has soul, which manifests itself in the plagues us all at some time or another - actually 'establishing contact' with our crush. The song's not that bad. I'll admit it, I had the single ... when I was 13. The Best of Tevin Campbell is a bit unnecessary, especially since it has been roughly seven years since he has charted anything remotely recogniz- able. The good news? We now have Aaron Carter's Greatest Hits to look forward to in about eight years. Mardi Gras in New Orleans, Keep It Rollin', Various Artists; Rounder Records By Chris Kula Daily Arts Writer It's almost Mardi Gras time in New Orleans, so in preparation for the holy observance of Fat Tuesday and girls gone wild, Rounder has released a pair of compilations that feature between them a combined 33 tracks of Big Easy favorites. Mardi Gras in New Orleans is pretty self-explanatory, a collection of tradi- tional party songs that are as indigenous to the Crescent City as public urination - and almost as satisfying. Bayou leg- ends Buckwheat Zydeco and Marcia Ball lend their vocal talents to the cookin' "My Feet Can't Fail Me Now" and "Big Shot," respectively, and both the Rebirth and Dirty Dozen Brass Bands - two of New Orleans' preemi- nent marching horns-and-percussion ensembles - romp across several cuts in joyous second-line nature. The album is a fun, diverse mix of street-beat funk, Creole-inflected zydeco numbers and parade route anthems, the perfect soundtrack to a wild time of drunken bead tossing or, as I like to call it, February. However, just like realizing that the saucy Cajun woman groping you on Bourbon Street actually stole your wal- let, Keep it Rollin' is a bit of a letdown. The compilation sets out to pay homage to the spirited, pumping left-hand style of New Orleans' piano greats, but, aside from Davell Crawford's title cut and Tuts Washington's "Arkansas Blues," the album is about as lively as last week's crawfish. The compilation's omissions of Professor Longhair and Fats Domino, the Obi-Wan and Luke Skywalker of New Orleans piano, respectively, are glaring to be sure, as most of the album's 17 tracks are no more rollicking than the mild, lounge-blues dinner music at Zydeco on Main Street. Keep it rollin' - right past this one at the record store and pick up some classic Longhair instead. Grades: B+ ("Mardi Gras in New Orleans"), D+("Keep it Rollin"') Grade: C I S$> m m