f: ii - _0- The Michigan Daily - Weekend, etc. Magazine - Thursday, February 8, 2001 A GUIDE TO V-DAY m the Michigan Daily - Weekend, etc Personal ad to personal adventure in Ok, so another Valentine's Day has rept up on us. The Hallmark holiday iat is either loved or despised. Well, at past for anyone older than 10. I remember V- )ay was always¢ njoyable in rade school ecause you'd - take a special per bag where var one would tt your valen-r nes and of ourse sinee veryone was arced to et Lindey ;veryone else a ard of some ort, there were ever any hard eelings. And COt Ot hen, some kid's noms would come in with brownies, up cakes, cookies, you name it, and the econd half of the afternoon was spent in Valentine festivities. Oh, the joy of youth. But before I go down memory lane, I wanted to give a brief survival guide to all of us that are not so fortunate as to get the afternoon off to stuff our faces and fill up our brown paper bags. That Saint Valentine Guy: Make your valentine ooh and ah at your amazing knowledge of the holiday that no one seems to know. (Ok, at least a lot of peo- ple) The basic story (please don't quote me in any term paper or anything - this stuff came right from the history chan- nel) is that it was found that non-married men tend to fight better in wars than married men, so a law was passed that forbid young men to get married. Valentine married couples in secrecy, and when this secret was discovered, Valentine was martyred. The second part of the story is a little bit fuzzier, but the basic idea was that Valentine fell in love with a jailor's daughter and before he was put to death, he sent her a card and signed it "From Y a a? n y le your Valentine." Cards: Keeping cards in-mind, these are always a good idea for both couples nd non-couples, although if you are a member of a couple, I highly advise that you at least give your significant other at east a card or you'll be in the doghouse for a while. Anyhow, thanks to modem technolo- gy, you don't even have to run out and buy a card. Although if you do, please keep in mind that the Hallmark store that used to be on State Street closed down January 31. (1 of course found this out two days too late, so you're welcome for saving you the walk down there.) Online cards are around all over the place, they're really easy to send, they're free and, for you earth friendly people, they don't kill any trees. Just pick out the card that you like, type in the appro- priate e-mail addresses and presto, you have a card. You can even make a card up a few days in advance and tell the online card company to wait until the 14th to send them. If you really want to be a sneak, you can send the same card to all your friends, saving you the time and energy, although if they find out they all received the same card, it might not make for a pretty situation the next time you guys hang out. Presents: While a card is pretty easy - everyone can and should send them - presents get a little bit more confus- ing. Do you need to get a present for the girl you went on a first date with the week before? What about the guy you've been with for a month? Or how about the person that you have a major crush on? Then, what kind of present should you give? There's the typical flowers and candy, or you can up the ante with teddy bears, jewelry or just presents that aren't Valentine-related, but you know the per- son will like. Then if you've been together for a while, the whole creativi- ty thing needs to be taken into account. You can't give the same bear and choco- late every year. One cool suggestion for something a little bit unique is to make your own bear. You can check it out at wwwxbuild- abear.com. You can pick out a bear, put a special heart that you've wished on inside of it, and then stuff it. What makes this even cooler, other than the fact that you made it yourself, is that you can record your voice and put it inside the bear. Breaking Up: While V-Day is often thought to be a day of joy and love, lots of people actually get dumped on V-Day. The number one reason I've always heard when I ask, "Why then - could- n't they have waited a day?" is, "Well, they brought it up." Hence, DO NOT bring up the status of your relationship on V-Day. Even if everything seems wonderful, you met the parents, get along with the friends, there are absolutely no guarantees. Holding your tongue for one day might just save you a lifetime memory of get- ting dumped on V-Day. Then there's the strategic break up to look out for. One of my friends got dumped about three weeks before V- Day. Coincidence? I think not. Another friend took a different route and actual- ly stayed in a relationship whenever V- Day or some other present-giving holi- day was coming up just to get the pre- sents. The Anti-V-Dayer: If you're the type of person who just hates V-Da, or you just got your heart trampled on by your ex, V-Day probably isn't looking so exciting. So what do you do? Well, you have a few options. You can ignore the day completely, take a day for yourself, go out with some friends, hit on the crush you've been %ycing for weeks or do anything else that mak-es you happy. The good news is though, it's just another day. It'll all be over in a short 24 hours, you won't have to see any of the V-Day promotional items and hearts all over the place, and if you go to the gro- cery store the day after, most of the V- Day candy is half-off or more. VD: For those of you that will be enjoying the holiday in a physical man- ner, be sure not to pick up a VD on V Day. Public service announcement: Wear a condom. You can get these from the Safe Sex Store, any drugstore or supermarket, or you can pick up some free condoms from the University Health Service. With that said, I wish you all a fun, safe and happy V-Day, with very few breakups and lots of cute, fuzzy bears with voice recordings. - Lindsey Alpert will be busy buying shares in Hallmark, but will still respond to any messages at la1pert@umich.edu. Perhaps I was the Anti-Cupid to anticipate yet another void in my Valentine's Day. And perhaps too much of the nightly news se made me reluc- tant to believe that random acts of e-maiihne could ever result in a positive out- come. Besides, how many peo-t ple actually x m11 ke it to the back pages of the Meredith Weekend section Kele before lecture becinK" Butf T t r s d a y eiain post- si C publicaton of my ( olunmn ist NI anifesto. I opened ny inbox to a pleasantly unfamiliar inessJICc. "Y'tn ye ot Niales!" Supportive. sympathetic and actu- ally interested, the bevy of' replies I received was a f'ar cry from the nasty and naughty ones I had planned For. In an unexpected twist of f'i1urative flexihility, my foot met my mouth. For the first time I learned Mhat \vronL tasted like. Tradin, sweat pants for black pants. Kiehl 's Ii p balm or MAC lip gloss, and pes- siiism for possi bilit y four days. seven dates and 1 200m of ca ffemine later, here is the tale of my Personal Ad-venture. It all began late Friday afternoon with a yellow rose. a cup of coffee and a young Bostonian. Quick-witted and thought-provoking, the conversa- tion was as smooth as a cashmere cardigan. As my first blind date, if this was supposed to be the tricky one. I wvas in for one hell of weekend. Or so I thought. Using a large dose of irony as her chief inredient, it turns out that Chef' Fate is not just a lousy gourmet, she's a flat-out bitch. The next morima I woke up Xith the worst cold in the history of my health. With the ''Run Lola Run' attitude adopted by my meine nose and a Peter Brady-like sound emitting f'rom my vocal cords. I had gone from catch to contaugion. But takinc a lesson from my ( randmiIa Evie. I shoved a si/eable wad of Kleenex in my sweater sleeve and continued as originally planned. Saturday morning gave rise to a completely new experience - a Starbucks Strategy Session to be exact, wnhere, over a cup of corporate- ly brewed coffee, Lt. Loveless and I mapped out a full-fledged attack on winning the Singles' War. However. the plan must be better than I thought, as I seemed to have been slipped a silencer in my Soy Latte, and remained speechless for dates three. F'our and five. W ith my ability to communicate dramatically reduced to Pietionary- antics and interpretive dancing. for once in my Iif'e I tried out a new dat- ing technique. I listened. Over dinner at Red Hawk, I embraced my laryngi- tis as I listened to what Maxim taught men about women, and tried not to suffocate on my salad. Over cocoa. I listened to what sensitive guys have to say. Over ginger tea."I listened to a tale of self-discovery in Europe. And although I have met some great guys and now understand men a little bet- ter than before. frankly. by the week- ends end. I was sick of listening. So, on Monday w\hen No. 6 turned out to be a medical student. I secretly hoped for a free throat culture to go, with my coffee. Prescribing more time and effort to cure my singles- social ailinent. and perhaps a little tea and honey For my scratchy sound, as the good doctor and I said our good- byes. I couldn't help but wonderinU: Was this a date or a diagno With my dating spree n close. I had one more date in: Lucky No. 7. HoweverI closing the information of date. a quick confession. I and I were actually quas tances, making this m Cataract Date than a blin the same it was an enligchte rience. from the flower to 1 the movie. And with that, my bhli spree offlicially came to a < while I can't say that I missina link this weeken< interest ncg acquaintances waith an important life les undergrad to E'ngineeri WANT TO WR WEEKEND, I CAL ELIZABETH AT 763-03 i Borders moment no. 49 "Love and Death were the great my my childhood...I knew then gave life m -From Z Acclaimed visionary and intellectual, bell hooks, reads from her new soul-stirring book Salvation: Black People and Love. Saturday, February 10th a . Downtown Ann Arbor --. 612 E.,Liberty near State-.- 734.668.7652 www.borders.com /steries of ithat love eaning..." n Salvation t 2:00 pm ." U - "Don't let your get ahead of Ci~h -mity biology;. nd meclcne ," f C - ARBERS ESTABLISHED 1939 Ot, - 615 E. 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