4 - The Michigan Daily - Wednesday, January 17, 2001
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Hammerhead's obligatory sex column (winter edition)
420 Maynard Street
Ann Arbor, MI 48109
daily.letters@umich.edu
Edited and managed by
students at the
University of Michigan
MIKE SPAHN
Editor in Chief
EMILY ACHENBAUM
Editorial Page Editor
Unless otherwise noted, unsigned editorials reflect the opinion of the majority of
the Daily's editorial board. All other articles, letters and cartoons do not
necessarily reflect the opinion of The Michigan Daily.
Students should join D.C. protests
O ne part of college life that I've noticed
that is relatively constant is the Get-
Together. While similar to a party, the Get-
Together (also known as Having People
Over) differs in a few notable respects. First,
there are generally less people at a Get-
Together; anywhere
from five to 15 is the
standard amount. Any
more than that and it
tends to turn into an
according-to-H oyle k
party. The second fac-
tor is that people actu-
ally talk to each other
at a Get-Together. z
While you may hear
Brittney Spears in the
background, you are
usually spared the Branden
booming "phat beats," SanZ
table-dancing, and D
keg-stands that charac-
terize a true party. Hammer
Get-Togethers hap-
pen for a variety of reasons and vary in type
and temperament. Sometimes the focus is a
sporting event, sometimes a game of cards
and sometimes just for the sake of intelligent
(if alcohol-addled) conversation. However,
one thing I've noticed time and time again is
that no matter what direction the conversation
starts out in, a co-ed Get-Together always
comes back to one topic - sex.
Don't ask me why it happens. I sure as hell
never instigate it, but it always seems to come
up, sometimes in ways that are unbelievably
random. Here's an example:
Me: "Wow! That Baltimore defense is
tough."
John: "I spent two weeks with my cousin
in Baltimore last summer."
Me: "What was it like?"
Dan: "Hey John, wasn't Baltimore where
you hooked up with that stewardess?"
John: (Blushing) "Uhhh, yeah."
Janet: "You hooked up with a stew-
ardess?!"
Dan: "Yeah he did. Best blow-job of your
life - isn't that what you told me?"
John: (Now beet-red) "Uhhhh, well ..."
Mike: "Really? Wow. (Wistfully) You
know, I've never really had a good blow-
job."
Nichole: "You haven't? Why not?"
Mike: "Well, you see..."
Okay, I'm sure you get the point. We can
all see where this conversation is going and
I'm quite certain that the vast majority of you
out there have been privy to more than one
random sex conversation during your time
here. Personally, I have dozens of these under
my belt and I've come up with a few observa-
tions over the years.
Observation number one: The whole
stud/slut double-standard is bullshit. I am
certainly not the first to make this observa-
tion and I won't be the last. Everyone seems
to agree that the double-standard is unfair,
yet most guys (and many girls) still judge
people by it. Okay, so if a guy goes out and
sleeps around, his buddies call him a "stud."
Some girls may consider him "sketchy," but
many will write it off to typical guy behav-
ior, rather than a deficiency of character. On
the other hand, if a girl does the same thing,
all of a sudden she's "dirty" or a "slut?"
Hogwash.
This argument is old and tired, but I have a
new common-sense twist for you. Guys,
would you honestly rather have a virgin? Not
a chance in hell. Maybe when I was 17, but I
just don't have the patience anymore. I per-
sonally think any guy over 20 that has a vir-
gin-fixation has got some serious self-esteem
issues, sort of a "climb the mountain and
make my mark" mentality.
Observation number two: Referral S
works. What do I mean by Referral Sex?
Well, it's pretty simple. You see guys,
women talk about sex. They talk about it a lot
- down to little intimate details no guy
would ever dream of sharing with his best
buddy. Chances are, for every girl you've
slept with, her little circle of friends knows
things about you that would mortify you if
you were aware of them. Furthermore,
women seem to have this gossip network t
rivals the National Security Agency in it s
ability to disseminate information. But there
is an upside to this as well.
Case in point: A couple of years ago, a
good friend of mine was dating this girl he
worked with. About a month after they had
broken up, he runs into his ex-girlfriend's
roommate at a bar. The first words out of her
mouth (and yes, I know this for a fact
because I was there) were: "Are you really as
good as says you are?" Three days
later she spends the night at his place.
Guys, this in not an isolated incident. I'0
seen it happen numerous occasions through
the years. Accept the fact that women are
going to tell each other everything about your
bedroom habits and use this to your advan-
tage. Rock her world. Hopefully, you two
will stay together forever, but real life doesn't
always work that way and it's good to have a
Plan B. If things go bad later, chances are
you're already a shoo-in with one of t
members of her network.
This column is dedicated to Oso and the
rest of the Hammerhead Fan Club - Univer-
sity of Minnesota Law School Chapter.
Thanks for the support, guys.
- Branden Sanz has sworn an vow of
celibacy and will soon bejoining a
monastery. Until then he can be reached at
hamrhead@umich.edu.
R ecounts were demanded, the
Supreme Court ruled and the elec-
tion was decided - George W Bush will
be our 43rd President. This fact is not
only an insult to the majority of Ameri-
cans who placed their vote for Al Gore,
but also an insult to the Presidential
Office itself. George W Bush does not
deserve to be the leader of the free world.
However, because the election has
been decided is no reason for the voice
of opposition against Bush to become
silent. The inauguration on Saturday is
the perfect opportunity for the American
people to make their voice heard once
tions.
Bush's platform alone, according to
the popular vote, was enough to convince
the majority of the American people that
he is not the most qualified man for the
job. His platform was also enough to
convince 93 percent of Black voters to
vote for Gore. The systematic disenfran-
chisement of the Black and Hispanic
vote in Florida indicates that Bush does
not have the support of large groups of
Americans behind him. It also indicates
there was enough wrong with his plat-
form and political record to discourage
minority voters from supporting him, a
more and reiterate
that they do not sup- HOW YOU CAN
port a President who JOIN THE PROTESTS
has an inadequate WHEN: Saturday, 11.30 a.m.
political record and WHERE: West Front, U.S, Capitol,,
"won" the election Washington, D.C.
through highly ques- Protesters will gather at two
tionable means. primary sites in Washington, D.C.
Members of the at 10.am. Saturday
University communi- 2 Dupont Circle, Massachusetts and
Connecticut Avenues
ty should go to Wash- MCo :Red ne to l>upnt Circle station..
ington, D.C. to protest 1 Fredom Plaza, Pennsylvania Ave. NW
the inauguration of a at 14th street NW.
Mhe Rgdfarange, Blue lines to Metro
man who has said that center station.
he believes that the NREMEMBERPolice will only allow hand-
foundation of peace is made signs up to 3x20 feet held by stiecs
up to 3/4 of are inch thick; there will be
a strong military, who numerous checkpoints, so get there early
has a minimal knowl- and watch what you are carrying.
edge of American for- pxOrTT INFOIRMATAo
eign relations and has http://www.inaugurauction.org
been quoted saying http://www.democracynerch.org
"there ought to be http://www.votermarch.crg
limits to freedom" in http://www.#acenterorg
fact that should also
discourage white vot-
ers from supporting
his administration.
Bush's cabinet
picks have done noth-
ing but to confirm
many of the fears of
those who voted
against him. Many
Republicans are
opposed to the Attor-
ney General pick of
former Missouri Sen-
ator John Ashcroft,
who opposed racial
desegregation in the
1970s. Although for-
mer Labor Depart-
ment pick, Linda
Chavez, withdrew
herself from consider-
ation of the position,
'This is a very good deal financially
for the athletic department.'
- University President Lee Bollinger on the University's decision to sign a
seven-year licensing and supply contract with Nike, which has
been accused of violating its workers' human rights.
reference to a Website opposing his cam-
paign.
Bush's record as governor of Texas
especially in regards to his unmerciful
sponsorship of the death penalty and
abominable educational policy is unac-
ceptable. Bush has and probably will
continue to oppose civil rights, including
same-sex marriages and the expansion of
hate crimes laws. Not only does he fall
far short of reasonable expectations in
terms of basic human rights, his environ-
mental record is equally if not more
abhorrent. The hypocrisy of promising
environmental preservation while at the
same time remaining an adamant oppo-
nent of the Kyoto global warming agree-
ment and supporter of the drilling for oil
in the the Alaskan wilderness is enough
grounds for any environmentally con-
scious citizen to doubt Bush's qualifica-
the fact that Bush considered a longtime
opponent of minimum wage, as Secre-
tary of Labor is a testimony to his poor
judgment. Gale Norton, Bush's choice
for Secretary of the Interior, has a history
of putting private property concerns
ahead of the environment and faces
opposition from a coalition of environ-
mental organizations, including well-
respected groups such as the League of
Conservation'Voters and the Sierra Club.
Social protest can be a powerful vehi-
cle of change. Members of the Universi-
ty community should do whatever they
can to attend the inauguration and voice
their opposition to our next President.
Anyone who can provide transportation
should be willing to take others to exer-
cise their right to peaceful demonstration
and to witness and voice their opposition
to what will surely be an historic event.
BAMN leaders divide
students in support of
affirmative action
TO THE DAILY:
On Martin Luther King Day, the Coalition
to Defend Affirmative Action By Any Means
Necessary held a rally in attempt to gain sup-
port for affirmative action. At the rally, the
Black Student Union, with support from other
groups, marched in chanting, "Our issue, our
voice, our struggle," and they were later given
a chance to speak at the rally. They urged that
students see that the issue is important and
that support for affirmative action exists
beyond BAMN's militant and often ignorant
views.
BAMN has monopolized the issue for too
long. Their militancy and immature behavior
discredits the affirmative action constituency.
Furthermore, the idea of "our issue, our strug-
gle" is valid when BAMN is represented by
Luke Massie, who is not, in any way, a part of
the University community.
The issue of affirmative action affects all
of us. "It is not simply a black and white
issue," Diego Bernal, a graduate student and
Michigan Student Assembly representative,
explained on behalf of the BSU. This is an
issue that deserves to be voiced by more than
just a group of militants led by someone who
has nothing to do with our community.
BAMN's behavior, their refusal to hear
other views and their sketchy affiliation with
groups like the Revolutionary Workers
League is counter-productive and insulting to
the entire University community, especially to
those who care about affirmative action. The
BSU sends an important message about out
this issue has been exploited so that an outside
group can stand on a soapbox proclaiming
that anything that stands in BAMN's way is a
part of some racist conspiracy. This is a mes-
sage that people are going to remember far
past MLK Day and the trial. It is a message
that BAMN is not going to be able to ignore,
and it will be hard for them to use the hack-
neyed excuse of "because you're a racist"
against the BSU.
ARI PAUL
RC FIRST-YEAR STUDENT
Business School did
not respect King's
legacy during event
TO THE DAILY:
Our country was blessed to have such a
thoughtful and eloquent spokesman for free-
dom and equality in the late Dr. Martin Luther
King, Jr. Our country also chose to recognize
its appreciation for its good fortune by dedicat-
ing a day to remember the contribution King
made to our society and the University took
part in this by sponsoring various speakers,
performances and other events. Two such
events stand out as polar opposites of the
potential for such a day to enrich the student
1,a-- A-I ..t.
presented a bland and insipid performance,
which bordered on insulting in its shallowness.
After opening with a jazz ensemble, the show
went on to present the "Business and Finance
Diversity Choir" singing songs about love and
justice that would have been simplistic for a
grammar school assembly, let alone a perfor-
mance sponsored by an esteemed university.
King is not remarkable for being a support-
er values such as love and justice. The fact that
they are "universal" by definition states that a
supporter of such values is not, by virtue of
that belief alone, remarkable.
King is remarkable because he worked his
whole life to identify those in society who
were disadvantaged and mistreated despite
such universal values and to work with them
and for them in helping to correct society's
failure to implement its values. As Dyson said
in his remarkable speech, King challenged
America's sense of complacency with how it
was living up to its professed morals. The
only thing in the Business and Finance Convo-
cation that could have possibly been inspiring
and relevant to the true activist spirit of King
was the performance of a gospel ensemble.
Unfortunately, this was relegated to the
foyer after the real performance to serve as
background music for those enjoying the buf-
fet.
If the Business school is serious about hon-
oring the memory of King, it must go beyond
sponsoring performances which endorse such
cutting edge concepts as "freedom is a good
thing" and present those which truly challenge
or provoke in the audience a sense of desire to
follow King's path towards social equity. Oth-
erwise, it should stick just to providing the
buffet for events that do - at least this is
something it is good at.
DAVID KATZ
SNRE GRADUATE STUDENT
Affirmative action
corrects secondary
education inequality
To THE DAILY:
In the wake of the celebration of Martin
Luther King, Jr. Day, I believe that the stale-
mated and often heated debate on the topic of
affirmative action in Higher Education, needs
resolution.
However such a solution is not easy to
come by. In order to appease opponents on
both sides of the issue, a comprehensive solu-
tion (i.e. not just siding with one group or the
other) needs to be promoted. It is my opinion
that, though I believe the use of race in admis-
sions is unfair to all those who apply to
institution (I, on my own application, chow
"Other" and wrote "human"), it is necessary
until pro-active changes are made to pre-uni-
versity education.
There are many studies that show that sec-
ondary schools in lower-income areas, which,
happen to often encompass a greater number
of non-white members, are doing a less than
esteemable job of preparing their students to
have a respectable chance at getting admitted
to an institution of higher education. By the
time a student is applying to college, it is t
late for him or her to make up the effects o
less than stellar secondary education. A call
for widespread change in high school and ele-
mentary education is in order. Herein, the
playing field is leveled before the student
reaches post-secondary education and then
higher education institutions are free to look at
a student's merits free of any sort of bias,
effectively making the collegiate admissions
process equitable for all who choose to apply
In short, the use of race in admissio
though ultimately biased, is wholly necessary
until we can be assured that students who
apply to this university are all given a fair start
to begin with. Once the aforementioned hap-
pens, such policies will not be needed.
JEREMY PETERS
LSA JUNIOR
Woomer attacked
capitalism, America
TO THE DAILY:
The column by Nick Woomer, "Don't cut
taxes, give everyone an unconditional
income," (1/16/01) is by far the most farcical
piece of idealism I have ever encountered 'ir
the Daily or anywhere else for that matter
How can the Daily print such a clearly sard
ic attack on capitalism and America itself?
The proposal of an unconditional income for
all is worse than socialism in that socialists at
least expect their citizens to work.
Consider this: In the history of the world
there has only been one country that is both
truly a republic and capitalist. That country is
America and in our short history we have
become the only remaining superpower. I bor-
rowed this idea from "The Virtue of Selfish-
ness" by Ayn Rand. If you need more
convincing then I would highly recomme*
this book as a starting place.
RYAN WENDLANDT
ALUMNUS
Infarmation cartel
Media mergers need more scrutiny
Edmund Burke called the media the
"fourth estate"- equating it to a
branch of government, wielding its own
political power. Indeed, objective news-
paper and television coverage of politics
and current events are considered crucial
to democracy. Good government requires
diversity of opinion and an informed
electorate. Since media plays such a criti-
cal role in our democratic process, it's in
the best interest of government to main-
tain a diversity of opinion and prevent
media corporations from becoming too
large. Although the Federal Communica-
tions Commission currently enforces
rules to prevent media monopolies,
recent events have brought to light the
possibility of media abuses. Because
media companies have shown that their
coverage of the news can be clouded by
the interests of the corporations that con-
A__f AS -__ 1 _ ~ "114- --_ ,. x 1_
increase this size cap.
A number of examples of corporate
influence have appeared in recent years.
One example is some newspapers' treat-
ment of the free airtime for political can-
didates. The Los Angeles Times, which
owns no television stations, wrote an edi-
torial in support of the free airtime pro-
posals. The Chicago Tribune, owned by
the Tribune Company, which owns 19
television stations, wrote "It might be
good if candidates didn't have to raise
and spend so much money to finance
broadcast ads. In that case, let Congress
provide public funds to subsidize cam-
paigns." Unknown to most people, and
unmentioned in these editorials is the
small fact that six media companies spent
a total $11 million to defeat a dozen cam-
paign finance bills mandating free air-
time from 1996 to 1998. It is clearly in
CHIP CULLEN GRINDING THE NIB