_ r Presenting the top ten greatest porno movies of ali time Review of Vu: Make sundaes or meet stalkerWs?- By Lyle Henretty Da.ily' Arts Watrt The pornographic film industry his alwaiys been the red headed stepchild of the entertainment busi- ness. Pornographic, or "porno," trotres Iate been around since the intntosn rif the camera and bring ini billiotns of dollars in revenrue ech veat. hard stocking., independent pio- duicers. direcctors, crescitetobers arid devoted. talented actors and actresses bitt thetr humrps to put out a nest minsererv cif eowweeks. Arid that doresn't cscn touclh the fetish sub- oeitre! Yet thcsc hard uorking rmco arid iwoment are treated like pariahs, stimple. because they give the people tilthet"stan. Ptornioraphic films have often been derided for their budget satvig techntiques, simtple, grass roots plots and all Ire raked peoiple ratving nasty sex. Titsritier, for one, is appalled hi these fallacies prorpagated hiyttre nitric elite. I lhaie nutstakenit in to iri asti hands to celebrate the cli- iractic telsiet errcrtt of thre porri indstry.sComreitilttie, as sic co diw isli tire hir desilist Ie civecrid tor \ rite. 10). 'Dirts Bobs Xcellent Adienttore 36" : \\ ile Irtis is trie of th esrkitsnisries tiniitire pornot itt '. it is cectainlyIs sie of teroost endrr n-, 1iI' fel tit lDirts Bob. islii asdircs. rt.. itrs Iisstrniein tistethinstysxtinstalilmenrt. i s Charaitern.alstrnamredlIirts Bob, liis developed into a livingswrithingr truly comforting figure. Yt Dirts Bob, along stub the scriptwrtr(also Dirty Bob) breathes neu life ito this familiar character, pulling out a Isis surprises (hint: sie finally learn wshy he is called "Dirty Bob"). Fans of the series, though, still trot be disappoint- ed, as there are still plcniy of itissc trayt s ith co-stars Phocnixx Blaqite and Kristen Blest. A ice seunnfoii thre initiated. air inspired gent lii those nets to the seriei. 9. "Caligula": Okay'. so Iis isn't technically a porno trosvie. But whre else ciii you get Shakespearean actors like Sir John (itelgud, Peter O'Toole and Malcolm McDowtell ini a urosie directed by Bob (ineciorre. ruwnter of Penthouse Magazine'? TIhe high dramra and the duped cast ace nicselc offset by loads of tnakeif tidies arid sorte pretty hard-circe iorogra- phi'. reportedfly shot secretly after thre "real" actors had finished isithr their liarts. Oral history taikes sin a ishbole tew mirarninigwitribthis onch 8. "The Postman Always Comes 'Twsice"' It's rice thast a storctof' irih utrter ioy and simptlliciti triurehes us sqrite like thre story ofrequiited losie ini thre afreroon. Bunny Bleui (ir0 reli- uin to Kristen)I is a lineslyrhousessihe iso noi iisIsrierfinrus life s sansinre Iliersehlel 'srse is a stell istaisfed potiat wosr ker iswliiIrs satisfiredlite on mrte than trie occasion.Teiris is a tro' fulf ilIntndinthards-sor sex. whirle threcartisatcbes.Ilie iperflest ift movriss e. 7. "Traci, I Love You" This one is crucial for the collectot, as it is the only legal porn filmr statring teen heartthrob 'Traci Lords. After creatin" this filti through bet owtn production comrplanryiraci swent on to star ini Stepihen King's grocrndbreaking runi- series "Thre Tonimyiknockers." 6. "Defiance: IThe Spanking Store"':Brock BHenderson, captatin oif IrefCoituis follegreIa'rtosse tearn has a lreart-wcrenchtingr secret. All hei N ants to do is be spanked. While Ihis friends cock bimunard base hard-core sex iswit cheerleaiders, professors. frienidly' bar mraids and tire teamriimas- cot. he defies (hetce. tire titlef thremi sill toi find his one trite site I Doirinsitrix Beads' tahiti. Whast might sent like commionpitlacsie piornor~ aphtic spiantkingc-sex sequtences by today 's stanidardi s wcre - t ottdhi caking in their sayrs. belireve tire filmr still rises to tire occasion. 5. "The Good, The Bad, and the Hlorn"" : 'IhIe title ands stor' of'thins flmi hardills trtter. arid its inreirsion heretsis sim'ply ito cciiiesentitire (UGAiNTICIL'bodyofstock 'romnt (IAT .' in the indsry:c Johnrr Iliris. John mradie one oifth LARGE ISI' conrbtritits imii nablt~~ie toi tiretort indsustry.I Holmeis itas just a stimple Bible student IfromiOhioi ittl rilae it BI( )in aiIG.r1way.ir IHortmci' career spannrredI1 7.,traybie It yearrs. lsth i s thIe otny IGliorni strto imake a 3-dimrenrsisona~l'rfnlm(it ini tirehick crss. ctiuitire). lii aippears in the Guinniess Book of World Records for sorte reason or another. 4. "Frankenpenis 11" : Thlis filmr is a special treat for a heretofore utntappied nmarket: W~omren that enjoy balding. ugly, fatuteri swittgreasy hair and mrustachres, arid rhoothite a hidlden urge to look it recently re- attached setvered aceritalia. Thlit's right. Ron Jeremty and JiohnirWravie idobbit, together agarin.iJererri is a gift to tire porn far. as weil as a hero to all of us os ersteirt ugly g(-uys tht only shotter once a neck. Borbbit still standis as air Amrercanricon.si runt iso Iogallanrtly looked uperile ramlirtar- tion in the eye and sail, "I think rn.t try frietrd."Brasvo,. gerrrlcrrarr ind keep Thtemircoinrg. 3. "Pussyman 10: Butts, Butts, and more Butts" : I Irirestly. I liats tie ccseen thins uovre. lutIt hairsa sety yrmiin title. andi if' tiere c alrea~dy til to tact lii. there trust liea demirandrd(i such a thinitt. l's eciiio urine free tinre thinssteekendi if'irisy- trie isants to coentretrer indlwitcIts i ih titmie. Please? Sirs tie? 2. "IDeep Throtat" : 1Ind Lsitelarce stars' is a WOis iailt ,tist- fIe ciithiisex.55Wit tireheltpiiiDr. l'sititg(Harfry (ccm iii I issilssrsr hat itrt'clitoris.,ii in anappaeniitriker- sILu1t by G(liirs ieen p1lisesd usepl dlown itnrisiehrtrnt. rLIitskils. the docrtorn ud icieraiilistietit-. irisottlst rarrsndom IpeopileiiiainI dn't kinoir citricfromrirstiriess list lp r in iswit herrlem.icnnSevltulle T is By Matthew Barrett and Chris Kula Fur the Dasily' Somie people come to the Vu for the furious lair datrces and sonic conne for tire bottomtless cup of icy cold ('oke icte carre for tire story. a think piece on a rind-letvci strit club corning no termsnith umits diiin identity in tire free of its enthused male customtrs. Last weekenid, vanioutsnmemnbers of the Daily Arts Posse ventiured no tire fabled Ypsilanti honsnpot, Deja Vu Shirscl, for a right of hard-hittring innsesnigatisve jouralisni. In took sortieaim-twistung on tire part of our editors for us no sign off ott a Saturdaiy nigirt assignmnetnt, but inn tire end, asic thirst for te truth printedi too creat no resist. After receiinrg our- co10inientsirv betveraiges inn janzzsy gloss-itt-tire-dark hunited ediniont esllector's cups. the potters that be quickly ushered us mnto tireI'xecsutisve Lsurnige {hiapts sifter stuir econnicia cisour 0welI-knotsn incadibirns sto titnWsicosuld be traced bhtie elsub's top-shelf talent. Sittinn1 II1-sitrinr- six femtaie. fus e i-ic on tine linge's iposh uintil cosuchnes. sic settled itt fsorstn eye -op~enintg cicuning1 of all-music cenetainmutennt.I' 'inpt f'or tworsritire stfes. iwtrhichdalreadvi bren. it isas as brnusud tensw eerecefor all. Inn additioto nnchub fbvitnis like lie bombtiiic.k'amrosnr, iwit iranresiintoit itoiidifferennt mtitt ns tinusnurgini tire cicuning --scy sice and pebbles from the Flinstones. Not no imention the pouty, broodiung faced Destiny, twna looked like she'd rather be an a real estate coinsention than shossing ner goods to tine crosid. The strippers performned death defyinrg acts on the pole. They did jumnps anud flips icier seen before. Well maybe in's been displsayed ounce or nowice before our "Circus of 'The Stars," bc earlc '90s teeny hopper seinsatioanit Tire Vu offered a cast of mnenro- rsable chariacters scorthyc of a Batvid Lcnchr sehicle. Oine of asic fates ws a suspected regular, identified ontly by his Indianra Boosiers t-shirt and thick slices("'fhe better to see you wcith, tiy pretty!"hi Wcecould ourly inmaginrc tit this yotuing desvfaint wsatdross ultr iris BorbrKnight-related sorrowss inn a bevc of S20 full-fr-ontal lap dances. Creeps.. While our 'Hoosier preferred no be assay fromuntire action. snother patron chose tso sit front turd centner, fist fully tucked ith dirty sinrgles. Be secured nun lustentinppefeccreceis inn sthich sutrp re heeivrsedthnie bills to vi hr iis mrouthr. jst as linng as site ssjtedh niis letvei. Tine wis ninetin tinecrossd isere tno less saisusi' for Isiun' than tire inent (Jne wisn pnn untsi donlar bhuh n her mothnndintltire strhiper slinrkedh sotswn unti sunskesd tire mrney' up. k racy% 'line sondtcrck in' sutr cieningngci tire guturfromr Iintrun oatsdc pthemsitrg germs t no mttIaler csrk- rockers.' Just as art imnitates life, strip, clubs imitaie art, and '8ilt music videos are nra exception. Onne of the fine lashes of the \'u paid honmage to BaiId Ice Roth and company. sashavinng her stay through 'san Balen's semrilan rocker, "lHar for Teachber." A gentleman's stager regarding the approximate tice that tineubiquitous football stadiuni antnhemrn "Who Let the Dogs Out'?" siould first sound off ws settled far too carly in nine night w-henr a few of the Vu's fittest scere "let out" while Baha Men soofed in the background - cie cthnie rost mrisogynist omale has- tards squirmred inn their seats at this Bsutciecnn tine fenrrninis-minded mren in tine clsub ucere disappointed sith uninsired performannces by satie of the V's' secoind siring strippers. These girls wsere clearly going nirah the mrotionsi, particularly the younga tottiati abodoused herself in Bershevi's chocolate syrup before letargicailly nosing herself off as part ouf the sprecial "shatter dancee" bin. In toouktin eagle-ceed colleague totpoint stunt."Strut'sve still girt sorte sauce un scour ass!" Speatkintg of celebrities, sports snuerstrsA5nthbony 'lhnoma~s of tire Cii e.sirs if Misbican offenrsie bacekfieldandirisletndatnShranahnan. Red SWintgs fordautni d binthterforminer inn the sunmmner flop "Me, Myself and Irenre," were in attendance- at least in spirit, courtesy of patrons spanting their respecnive jerseys (yau can settle dawn noic, Lloyd). No other celebrities were sighted. Inn conclusion, a night at Bela Vsu is isell-isarib the S6 couples night admis- sian fee, thanks in part to the accomo- dtating staff, the off-colorful clientele and the gravity-defyning pole climibing.. antice. -Dai1cAnus iwriters Chnris Connsino Be'n Gua/uuteinn, Gabe Fanjurni annu El'/abth i enis/ic contrnibnue/ no u/uis ucelaru. M01MYS FOOTBALL PARTY TUIESDAYS 2 FOR 1 DAY WEDNESDAYS AMATEUR CONTEST & WARITRESS REVIEW THURSDAYS SHARE A SHOWGIRL FANTASY FRIDAYS FRISKY FRILLY DAY SAIZIRDAYS COUPLES NIGHT SUNDVAYS BUILD A SHOWGIRL SUNDAE & SHOWER SHOWS YOUR BIRTHDAY & BACHELOR PARTY PLACE! THE AMERICAN WEST Out o Myth, Into Reality Ihusobet' fu-t emmmer 31, 2000( I is tire first legul Ipornm m itsu i atut. us fir asi I knoss, tie neuly prn nun me nun ever single-hlanidedisyInnrung titusnmu presietial sndnmnstruii 1. 'Debbie Dues Dallas' \uNot onlny mu wondierfInl prnorun 'uhtueprns- tune. biutalsor cue ofi'tire tinrest cliteen headser moitules civenrtnae c enhnic us urn V try ul'iu knos\\s. ihsa ns \cci unto inigaUct'andsibetter-mmills. Sheis. fa sI know,clns."suts ' lt I ur st enrhunn"begurnr'i i tin111tine letter I-'- tisside ouni I n ati s iReporintens. SitshowInnn 'nuna.ulittle slinks unttinept uanti smetlt for'tis hm, us I'nevcer persnally gomttenpast tirefi ntifteen nnr1unnes. but, sernunuis .\'w'S tire t'-'t est fifteen nminures e e untscdcil genri c sideotalic WHY HAS THE UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN FAILED ITS STUDENTS? For some answers see: www.universitysecretscom Food For Thought Women in Vietnam huni esimated that 11,000 ho 15,000 women serced inViotnam. remarkabl, 00 accurate records wore kept. Women serced as oununeshogistical supportintlli- geoce, Bud Croon, eotertainorn nd USO (proudly known no Donut Doilies). For one bibliography, go ho: htp://servercc.oakton.edu/ -Wittman/womeo.bhm Gary Cillie & Assoc., Realtors www.garylillie.com I Music by Giuseppe Verdi Libretto by Arrigo Bonco AdapteurmnShakespeare's The Merry WirersofkT'indsr amid Hinty IV Sung in' Italian w/Lngish supenmuics ga * university $t0 Ru.sh Ticket Tickets an iale t0 am - 6 pot the day of the performance or the Frid'ay h'fore a weekenda 'sent an tbc ListS Box Office lncated in the Power Center,. tam Fletchcr Street. 50% Roth Tickets Ticketsion sale beginning 90itinutes befoure the entontsuthuePerformance Ball Bux Office. W-tLL Avd'ttowJL'V. 764.2538 event.sudntID Rush ird.LTicketsikes pr aren, enot .. "offered _..:..if..r.an.. eventRshTikeisae saidere i outen i andd utan seating is subject no asailahiity and bus office discretion.