4A - The Michigan Daily - Thursday, September 7, 2000
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Profs didn't prepare me for The Workplace
"
420 Maynard Street
Ann Arbor, MI 48109
daily.letters@umich.edu
Edited and managed by
students at th e
University of Michigan
MIKE SPAHN
Editor in Chief
EMILY ACHENBAUM
Editorial Page Editor
Unless otherwise noted, unsigned editorials reflect the opinion of the majority of
the Daily's editorial board. All other articles, letters and cartoons do not
necessarily reflect the opinion of The Michigan Daily.
Poorly implemented system can be improved
B y taking a summer internship at a major
newspaper, I knew that I'd be getting a lot
of real-world experience in journalism. But I
quickly found myself facing a situation that my
professors never could have prepared me for:
The Workplace.
Coming from the
youthful, laid-back
atmosphere of a certain
liberal college campus,
I felt as though I'd.
stepped through a gen-
erational wormhole
when I entered the
newsroom. Gone were
the t-shirts, jeans and
glazed-over expressions
that fill seemingly every
lecture hall. In their Chris
place were dress shirts, Kula
Dockers and...well,K
glazed-over expressions Unsung
(it was a Monday). AnArbor
Whereas many col-_
lege guys favor short
haircuts for the streamlined look, there was a
lack of hair among some of the male staffers
that was less a trend of fashion than a trend of
heredity. And my habit of making coy eye con-
tact with pretty young coeds quickly was trans-
formed into polite smiles befitting my mother.
The reserved sounds of The Workplace -
keyboard clicks, ringing telephones, conversa-
tions about golf handicaps - were a stark
departure from "Country Grammar" booming
out of seemingly every window of every,frat
house. And instead of day-old pizza, I smelled
middle management: In both cases, you're
going to be appeased and well-fed, but deep
down, you want something fresh and exciting.
In The Workplace, I saw more Dr. Scholl's
than Doc Martens. In The Workplace, hearing
someone refer to their new baby had nothing to
do with dating plans. In The Workplace, I felt
like a fish out of water. Or, more appropriately,
a Phish fan at an REO Speedwagon show.
The most striking difference, though,
between my natural college environment and
that of The Workplace was in the language. We
were all speaking the King's English. It's just
that, semantically, theirs was a little different.
. When my editor told me, "Come into my
office first thing in the morning" I showed up
at a quarter to noon. And when he joked that I
must have stopped for a big breakfast, I just
stared blankly: What on earth is breakfast?
Some kind of tune-up for my car? German lit-
erature? A new techno style?
I learned very quickly that even when we
seemed to be speaking about the same things,
there was a gap between what I meant and what
the people of The Workplace meant.,
Over the course of the summer, I put
together this list of common translations for
any of my fellow students who might be con-
sidering an internship in the future or who are
actually planning on (gasp!) graduating and
setting up shop in The Workplace. Think of it
as the Rosetta stone for the MTV generation.
Professional: It's midnight already? I'd bet-
ter hit the sack.
Intern: It's midnight already? I'd better hit
the town.
Professional: I take my coffee black.
Intern: I take my coffee black - with a lit-
tle foam, some steamed milk, a shot of hazel-
nut syrup and a cookie.
Professional: I love the Internet.
Intern: I love the Internet start-up I just sold
for two million dollars.
Professional: Bob Seger said it right: I like
that old-time rock 'n' roll.
hitern: Bob Seger is old time rock n' roll.
Professional: I'd really like to move up to a
Range Rover.
Intern: I'd really like to move up from my
Schwinn Rover.
Professional: I gave it the old college try.
Intern: I didn't even bother to try.
Professional: These old things? i'm drop-
ping them off at Goodwill.
Intern: These old things? I found them at
Goodwill.
Professional: Perhaps we can grab a bite at
Chez Denis nis
Intern: Perhaps we can grab a bite at
Denny's?
Professional: How about a light merlot,
finely aged?
Intern: How about a box of Franzia, fresh
off the shelf?
Professional: A 401K is helpful, but you
can live without it.
Intern: A 4.0 is helpful, but you can live
without it.
Professional: A good marriage takes a lot a
friendship.
Intern: Marriage takes away a lot of good
friends.
Professional: Looking back, my 21st birth-
day wasn't all that special.
Intern: Looking back, life before my 21st
birthday wasn't all that special.
Professional: The market is wide-open for
some big returns.
Intern: The market is open for some bottle
returns.
-Professionals and interns alike agree
that Chris Kula can be reached at
ckula@umich.edu.
T he back-to-school frenzy is in full
force. Campus Computing Sites are
already overcrowded as returning stu-
dents and new arrivals vie for last-minute
class openings, access and printing
resources, as well as e-mail friends. But
why is this year's strain on University
computers any different from those of
past semesters? Telephone registration as
we know it no longer exists. In its place
stands the University's attempt to forge
into the 21st Century, absolving the regis-
tration system of the infamous CRISP
Lady, and only allowing students to regis-
ter online via an updated and revamped
Wolverine Access.
The premise of online A sloW, un
registration is excellenta
and the University should
be commended for its Wolverine A
effort to continuously system is u
upgrade and embrace
technological advances. But there are
numerous glitches slowing the new sys-
tem and confusing students, making the
abrupt change difficult to adapt to. This
follows ,a University trend of implement-
ing new technology without adequate
warning and transition time, as was the
case when the invasion of iMacs caught
students off guard with their lack of disk
drives two years ago.
The new system provided a tremen-
dous amount of frustration during sum-
mer Orientation sessions. It was not ready
in time and many incoming first-year stu-
dents were unable to register. At one point
orientation leaders had to manually enter
information regarding scheduling and
course selection. A backup or alternative
system should have been in place.
At present, there is not a direct link to
the course guide, which poses a problem
r
4
11
when students are searching for classes
and trying to register simultaneously.
Hard copies of the course guide could
also have helped students during this tran-
sition period. Course descriptions also
need to be made a part of the new
Wolverine Access.
As a result of the change from tele-
phone to online-only registration, there
has been an influx of Wolverine'Access
users, making the system slow, unrespon-
sive and even unavailable at times -
unacceptable just before and during the
first few weeks of classes. To accommo-
date the inevitable throng of users, the
operating hours of
responsive Wolverine Access
iavaiable should be extended past
midnight at the start of a
Iccess new semester.
nacceptable. Not all feedback
about the new system
has been negative. The new "advanced
search" option is a fine addition in terms
of looking for the day and time a class is
offered. There are now links providing
information on the open or closed status
of a class, which is a convenient time-
saver. The new Wolverine Access system
also provides class numbers as well as the
number of places left in a class and the
students' standing on a waitlist. The orga-
nization of class schedules with a page of
descriptions is also unquestionably a posi-
tive change.
Wolverine Access is a large, complex
system. It is tremendously difficult to
overhaul all the information flawlessly.
Hopefully by winter registration the sys-
tem will be user-friendly and easily acces-
sible. Upgrading Wolverine Access was
clearly a step in the right direction and
with time it should prove a better system.
"It sounded kind of like a 'Three Stooges,' type thing.
They were just screwing around."
- Commander Glenn Bondy of the Taylor Police Department on Michigan
basketball players Kevin Gaines, Avery Queen and Bernard Robinson, arrested
for suspicion of disorderly intoxication after the three were spotted
wrestling on the side of the road Monday morning.
1
Stonewal led
Marijuana vote wrongly blocked by council
A petition was brought to the Ann
Arbor City Council this summer to
add a medical marijuana referendum to
this November's city ballot. In a contro-
versial move, the Council nullified the
petition, along with any hope of allowing
the public to vote on it in this coming
election. Short of bringing suits against
the city, 6,000 signatures and months of
hard work have been wrongly blocked.
Supporters of the petition say they
were given an incorrect due date for sig-
natures by the Washtenaw County Clerk
and the Ann Arbor City Clerk. Thus the
signatures were turned it in six days late.
Both clerks confirmed that the error was
their own and not the petitioners'.
But this tardiness allowed the Coun-
cil a perfect excuse for blocking the ini-
tiative from going to a city-wide vote
this November. Supporters hope the
Council will allow citizens to vote on
the proposal next year. Petitioners col-
lected nearly 6,000 signatures, approxi-
mately 1,500 more than necessary. The
authenticity of the signatures has not
been an issue.
It is important that this resolution be
offered to the public because marijuana
has been proven to treat the pain, along
with other symptoms and side-effects of
numerous diseases and their treatments,
including cancer, AIDS, asthma and
glaucoma. It can also be used to kill
symptoms of pain without debilitating
side effects. When used properly, it can
be a benign medicinal substance and not
just another target of the War on Drugs.
The Clerk's office has openly admitted
to and apologized for the misquoted date,
causing Councilmember Elizabeth Daley
vote to put the amendment on the ballot
in spite of the error. Regrettably, with
only two out of the 10 council members
voting with her, Daley retracted her own
motion and thus. killed any chances the
petition might have had left.
The only way that the petition may
still appear on this upcoming November
ballot is if a lawsuit is filed and a judge
forces the issue to a city-wide vote. How-
ever, until the decision to pursue legal
avenues can be made, supporters of the
petition ask that people contact the Coun-
cil at http://wwwci.ann-arbormi.us and
voice their concerns. Direct democratic
action is the best way to inform elected
officials of the importance of medical
marijuana and continue the activism that
has carried the cause this long.
The decision of the Ann Arbor City
Council was likely a political move to
prevent any chances of legalizing medical
marijuana. While it is understandable that
deadlines must exist in such matters, the
error was the city's and not petitioners.
The fact that the Council considered a
motion to overlook rules implies that
members hold the final say in determin-
ing whether a simple mistake is grounds
to invalidate 6,000 signatures. Had this
been a clear-cut case of a missed deadline
for a petition, the issue would have never
been in question and Ann Arbor citizens
would have a medical marijuana vote on
the ballot in November.
Every governmental representative is
elected to protect the interests of voters. If
voters are asking for nothing more than
the right to vote on a specific issue, it is
unjust for elected officials to stand in the
way, especially with such overwhelming
sunnort for at vote on this matter
A vote for Nader is a
vote for Bush
TO THE DAILY:
The battle between the lesser of two
evils has gotten into full swing, and along
with this fall's presidential election, I have
noticed a movement amongst people our
age.
Many people have decided to vote
against George W. Bush by voting for the
Green Party. This seems like a very good
idea, and exactly what I was going to do,
until its fault was pointed out to me.
Unfortunately, our government is a two
party system. Therefore, if we vote against
Bush by voting for Nader, we are actually
taking votes away from Gore. A Democrat
has a much better chance of beating Bush
than a candidate from the Green Party. So,
maybe Ralph Nader really is the best
choice for president, but the greater of the
two evils may win out if enough votes are
swung away from Al Gore.
MANDY PATTERSON
LSA SENIOR
Misogynists have
infiltrated campus
media
TO THE DAILY:
Apparently, all Daily readers will be,
once again, privy to Branden Sanz's arro-
gant, sexist and demeaning words this year
as he fills his opinion columns ("An open
letter to all first-year students," 9/6/00)
with offensive, shallow theories of campus
living.
I let Sanz's crude remarks and obnox-
ious, misogynistic editorials slide by last
year without writing a public letter, but I
refuse to let him gloat in his idiocy any
longer.
Listen up. Sanz: I am outraged by your
boorish audacity which advises first-year
women to "attend as many parties and
meet as many people as possible during
[their] first term, before the Freshman Fif-
teen sets in." This campus already had the
editorial letter war last fall term regarding
the infamous sexist t-shirt, "Freshman
girls: Get 'em while they're skinny."
How sad that Sanz, a second-year
writer for the Daily, still cannot compre-
hend the articulate exchange that filled
this paper's pages last year, as Sanz rein-
states the same ignorant and sexist ideolo-
gy into the semester's first column.
Not only is he inciting self-conscious-
ness and low self-esteem in the women of
this campus, but he is promoting the
objectification of women, as according to
him, no woman 15 lbs. over-weight is
worth getting to know or finding attrac-
tive.
You are a hypocrite, Sanz, as you claim
to write an "open letter to all incoming
first-year students," i.e. a letter that reach-
es everyone, while you alienate and stig-
matize part of the community.
And yes, I get it, he wanted to be funny
and sneak in a provocative one-liner, but I
thought the Daily was beyond using dis-
crimination and intolerance as a form of
humor.
Maybe the Daily should create stan-
dards for their editorial staff before it loses
the little respect it presently has.
CHERYL BRATT
LSA SENIOR
WR C not governed
mostly by students 0
TO THE DAILY:
In reference to the Daily's Sept. 6th
editorial "Welcome back: The Daily's take
on summer news":
"The WRC is mostly comprised of col-
lege students and does not have the finances
or the infrastructure to sufficiently monitor
worker's rights violations around the world."
The first half of this sentence is absolutely
false. The legal 501(c)3 bylaws of the WRC
state that three constituencies on the govern-
ing board will be five from USAS, five from
the University Caucus and five from the
Advisory Council, a group of experts on the
industry. One third of the total seats are
reserved for students, which is not "mostly."
The second part of the sentence about the
finances of infrastructure is a subjective com-
ment or analysis of the WRC, so it can't be
false, but I do hope that someone on the
Daily's editorial board actually compared the
budgets and progress of both organizations
before making a comment like that.
PETER ROMER-FRIEDMAN
RC/LSA SENIOR
THOMAS KULJURGIS TENATIVEY YSPEAKING
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olverine Access system is W(
A s the senior academic administrator
responsible for operations in the Office of
the Registrar and other central service units, I
would like to offer the following response to the
Letter to the Editor in the Daily's Sept. 6th issue
concerning the University's new registration
system. It is my hope that this statement will
explain why the University had to change
Wolverine Access.
Wolverine Access (wolverineaccess.
umich.edu) is more than a web-based registra-
tion system. It provides students with secure
web access to their personal student records,
Student users were trained to use the telephone
system during Freshman Orientation, and using
a new process may take longer. Using the web-
based system is different, but there is compre-
hensive documentation available from the front
page of Wolverine Access that provides detailed
instruction on how to use the new system, navi-
gate the search function, and understand the
new terminology.
The Time Schedule and the Registrar's
Office website (www.umich.edu/~regoff) also
provide information about registration. In addi-
tion, there are trained consultants available to
-.,1- '7'2 4 !A LI TM -
for now I encourage students to use the system
at other times to avoid delays. Students can use
online registration wherever they have web
access, unless they are using a computer in a
restricted environment, such as a corporation
with a "fire wall." The University has worked
with a number of organizations to eliminate
firewall difficulties. (Students having difficulty
with fire walls should contact 734-764-HELP,
and we will work with the specific organization '
to address the issue.) We expect students
enrolling from distant locations will prefer Web
access because they can avoid long distance