4A - The Michigan Daily - Thursday, October 26, 2000

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Are you scary? Take a Halloween quiz to find out

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Ann Arbor, MI 48109
daily. letters@umich.edu
Edited and managed by
.students at the
University of Michigan

MIKE SPAHN
Editor in Chief
EMILY ACHENBAUM
Editorial Page Editor

Unless otherwise noted, unsigned editorials reflect the opinion of the majority of
the Daily's editorial board. All other articles, letters and cartoons do not
necessarily reflect the opinion of The Michigan Daily.

W hen we were younger, Halloween
meant scary: Scary costumes, scary
noises, a really scary intake of sugar. You
wanted to both frighten and be frightened.
But these days, Halloween's all about the
sex.
When the appeal a
of fun-size Snickers
bar wears off at the
age of 13, the sex
appeal of a sly, reveal-
ing costume takes its
place, especially
among those girls who
conduct themselves
like proper young
ladies the whole year
long and then simply
bust out - so to speak Chris
- in a risque get-up
on Halloween. Kula
On that one wicked Unug
night, they're less Cin-
derella than Sinderella, Ann Arbor
less Little Orphan
Annie than Little Whore-Fun Annie and less
Little Red Riding Hood than Little Red
Thong Riding Up Their - whoa, Mr. Kula,
how easily your mind wanders these days!
(Sorry, but nothing quite gets my devilish
heart racing at this time of year like a girl
decked out in horns and a pitchfork, shaking
her pointy tail to Michael Jackson's
"Thriller.")
Gone are our childhood days of running
around the neighborhood in the name of
innocent paganism. Now, everything Hal-

loween-related has a sexual connotation to it.
Trick or treat? Surely a carnal proposition.
Bobbing for apples? A colloquialism for oral
sex. Carving pumpkins? C'mon, now, there
are freshmen reading this column.
With Halloween hookups seemingly tak-
ing precedence on this dark holiday, the
question has become, "Can Halloween still
be scary?" My answer: Yes, but it all
depends on the person.
And by that I mean everyone has a differ-
ent idea of what constitutes "scary," even in
similar situations. For anyone who remem-
bers Alfred Hitchcock's "Psycho," an ordi-
nary shower can be scary. For me, a shower
without hot water is scary. And for your
basic patchouli-drenched hippie, the mere
idea of a shower is pretty fucking scary.
Whether or not you will have a scary Hal-
loween depends on your FQ, or Fright Quo-
tient. Take the following FQ test and check
the key at the end to see how easily you
scare.
1) Your idea of a spooky haunted house is
__? A: Bed sheets strung across the gym of
the local YMCA; B: The setting of nine out
of 10 episodes of "Scooby Doo"; C: East
Quad.
2) The scariest musical performance
you've ever witnessed is ? A: Early Alice
Cooper biting the head off a chicken; B: later
Alice Cooper doing "Feed My Frankenstein"
in "Wayne's World"; C: The animatronic ani-
mal band at Chuck E. Cheese's, regardless of
song.
3) The scariest film you've ever seen is __?
A: "The Exorcist"; B: "Weekend at

Bernie's"; C: "Weekend at Bernie's 2."
4) The scariest man alive is ___?
A: Christopher Walken; B: Christopher
Walken; C: Christopher Walken.
5) You're afraid of the dark because ___?
A: You can't tell if anyone's watching you;
B: It has more calories than the regular milk
chocolate; C: It reminds you of the time you
went temporarily blind from drinking too
much Five O'Clock vodka.
6) When you hear howling in the dis-
tance, you ___? A: Check to see if there's a
full moon; B: Read some Allen Ginsberg;
C: Wonder who let the dogs out.
7) When you picture a man dressed
head-to-toe in black, you're thinking of ?
A: Dracula; B: Johnny Cash; C: Edward, the
nihilist GSI in your Philosophy class who
never speaks above a murmur, carries a
pocketwatch and drinks green tea while
smoking cloves.
8) When you get frightened suddenly,
you usually exclaim __? A: "Goodness
me!"; B: "Fie, oh, fie!"; C: "Sweet holy
Moses Malone!"
9) The name for the devil that most
disturbs you is ? A: Satan; B: Lucifer;
C: Shatner.
Fright Quotient Key:
If you answered mostly A: Hi, Mom,
thanks for reading.
If you answered mostly B: You may fear
death, but you don't ... fear ... the reaper!
If you answered mostly C: You scare me.
- Chris Kula can be reached
via e-mail at ckulacumich.ediu.
Have a Halloween kula than most.

New residence halls benefit undergrads

W hether it was a friend, relative,
parent or professor, at some
point before you graduate from the
University, you will hear these prophet-
ic words: "Your college years will be
some of the best of your life." What is
it about life at the University that
makes the undergraduate experience so
unique? While there are a number of
idiosyncrasies to college, an undeniable
feature of University living is the resi-
dence hall experience.
Most students who come to the Uni-

versity haven't partici-
pated in an extended
living environment prior
to their first year. The
residence halls give
undergraduates an
opportunity to not only
be introduced to campus
life but also to engage in
a smaller community at
the onset of their college
career. The University
can be a huge place but
residence halls help
make it a little more per-

While the
number of
idiosyncr
college, a
undeniabl+
of Univer
is the res
hail 'expei

hall programs, is a definite step in the
right direction. Bollinger's proposals
for the creation of new programs
include a Health Scholars program and
facilities for the Arts of Citizenship
Program. Such programs would help
foster the sense of community spirit
and group learning that the administra-
tion encourages.
To retain upperclassmen in resi-
dence hall housing, the University must
also consider additional steps. The
administration should look into the
possibility of con-
re are a structing a new
building to help facil-
itate the process -
aSles to the University has
not built a new resi-
in dence hall since
e feature Bursley Hall, which
was constructed in
city living 1967. Helen Newber-
ry is the oldest resi-
idence dence hall, built in
rlence.1915.
rn11Moreover, the
University should

'The makeup of the Supreme Court is the key factor in
the future of Roe v. Wade.'
- Attorney Sarah Weddington, who represented Jane Roe in the
1973 Roe v. Wade trial.

sonable by providing a communal liv- adopt a suitable housing policy towards
ing environment. upperclassmen that would be compara-
In spite of the benefits of the resi- ble to those in an apartment housing'
dence halls, however, improvements complex. By catering to the needs of
could be made. University President upperclassmen and providing kitchens
Lee Bollinger brought this to attention and other apartment-like accommoda-
during his annual address to the Faculty tions, the University would increase its
Senate on Monday. During the speech, housing retention of older undergradu-
Bollinger urged the members of the ates. Furthermore, by providing better
Senate to consider new opportunities residence hall housing for upperclass-
for residence halls at the University. men, the price of housing for students
After referring to the growing trend of living in apartments off-campus might
upperclassmen living off-campus as become more affordable as students
detracting from the feeling of commu- had more choice as to their living
nity and the potential for shared learn- arrangements.
ing, Bollinger pushed for more efforts By improving the residence halls,
to unify the campus. the University not only improves the
Bollinger should be applauded for daily lives of undergraduates, but it
his efforts to improve the life of under- also functions as a recruitment tool
graduates - a facet of the University when prospective applicants visit the
which is sometimes overlooked at this campus. The administration's efforts to
major research institution. In particular, improve the residence halls is also a
Bollinger's most recent budget propos- sign that the University values the
al to the state legislature; which needs of undergraduates and truly
requested three million dollars to hopes to makes these years the best of
finance new undergraduate residence our lives.
r alternative
'U' takes a step to curb underage drinking

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Column disregarded
abortion issues
TO THE DAILY:
In her column this week, ("George W's his-
tory of execution,"10/24/00) Erin McQuinn
once again manages to impress the reader with
her scintillating grasp of the (apparently) obvi-
ous, and ignores the real facts of the case.
McQuinn states the Bush "hasn't even taken
the time to possibly save, an innocent life." Her
concern is laudable - there is a chance that a
person convicted of a violent crime and sen-
tenced to death for it might be innocent. The
odds of this happening are slim but existent.
Unfortunately, McQuinn ignores the odds
on the other side. Under current law, more than
one million innocent unborn babies are aborted
every year, and Al Gore has not only vowed to
help continue this bloodshed, he has promised
to sign a bill which would increase government
funding for the killings. In other words, Gore
would ignore his chance to save thousands of
definitely innocent lives.
We must look at the methods of killing used
on both sides of the issue. The executions in the
state of Texas are performed swiftly and pain-
lessly, complying with the 8th Amendment's
"cruel and unusual punishment" mandates. In
contrast, hundreds of almost-born babies are
killed yearly in a process called partial-birth
abortion, which is so brutal that I'm sure the
Daily would not print a description of it.
Gore, like his predecessor, has committed to
keeping this procedure legal. It sounds to me
like he's much worse at paying attention to
innocent lives than Bush. Wake up, McQuinn.
ARWEN THOMAS
ENGINEERING FIRST-YEAR STUDENT
'U' admissions policy
a cover for racist
tactics
TO THE DAILY:
The University's claim of diversity as a
defense of their racist admissions policies

is bogus: The corporate defenders are hyp-
ocritical in their defense of diversity. Not
a single word has been mentioned of all-
black or all-female colleges in the name
of diversity, and none ever will.
The fact of the matter is that students
graduating from Howard or Morehouse
are no less capable of succeeding in
diverse environments than those of the
University.
What is unmentioned by the'activists is
the implied notion that only underrepre-
sented minorities are diverse: This means
all Asians and whites are not "diverse."
The acceptance rate of Hispanics at this
University is near 90 percent, blacks, near-
ly 75. Whites and Asians measure accep-
tance rates of only 34 percent and under
25 percent, respectively.
The University is playing diversity as a
color-by-numbers game; and we are all the
pawns, undergraduates and graduates
alike.
In the name of diversity you have been
exploited because of the color of your

skin, and I know that i am not alone in
my disgust with this issue. Are the lowest
20 percent of wage earners represented
here? Of course not; diversity is measured
only by the color of skin - absolutely
nauseating logic from the "Leaders and
the Best."
Race-based preferences are not meant
to atone for discrimination in the case of
the University, and the supporters of this
idiocy are not noble persons for fighting
the "oppressors."
Political correctness pervades the air
and muffles the voices of the silent major-
ity in this issue. History may be kinder to
the memory of race-based preferences at
this University than I am, but I believe
that this dated, divisive and abhorrent
practice makes fools of the students and
administrators who believe in it, and cre-
ates anger and mistrust in those who do
not.
DAVE HODGE
LSA SENIOR

THOMAS KULJ URGIS TEN TATIVIEL[YSPEAK IN G
COLLEGcE 'UIT19t 46 04z W4j-
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After a week of late night studying
and early morning classes, many
college students unwind by spending
their weekend drinking and staying out
all night. Although more than half of
the undergraduate student body is
underage, drinking seems to be a
favorite pastime among students. For
this reason the Office of New Student

Programs wants to offer
alternatives to students
who are too young to
legally drink.
In theory, the propos-
al to offer, substance
free activities is a
respectable and respon-
sible one on the part of
the University; however,
it may be idealistic to
believe that the majority
of students would be
willing to spend their
weekends sober. Fortu-

In theory,
proposal t
substance
activities
respectab
responsibl
the partco
University

lar weekend social programming to
provide a clear alternative to drink-
ing." It may not be a solution, but it is
a start.
If this proposal goes into effect, the
committee will need to come up with
activities that will actually appeal to
college age students, a demographic
that is not easy to capture. Although
Welcome Week at the
the beginning of the year
offers a substance free
f offer environment in which
a free students can socialize,
not many students
is a would remain content
with such activities on
lea n a weekly basis.
le one on Another issue is
money. These activi-
f the ties need to be inex-
pensive, if not free,
in order to compete
with the free alcohol
students receive at parties. The Uni-
versity needs to realize that finding
cheap, entertaining activities every
weekend is going to be a struggle.
College offers a newfound freedom
to students who are living on their own
for the first time. This freedom entails
the ability to stay out all night drinking
without having to answer to anybody. It

ECHELON system shows you're being watched

nately, the committee realizes that this
proposal is an alternative and not a
solution to underage drinking. Knowing
that underage drinking can get them in
trouble does not seem to curb students'
behavior. With new, stricter MIP laws in
effect, this proposal seems to come at
an opportune time.
While the University could

By Rob Goodspeed
Daily Editorial Writer
Imagine a system that attempts to inter-
cept every e-mail, phone call and fax trans-
mitted in the world. Imagine vast
underground supercomputing centers
searching these messages for keywords,
churning through two million messages a
second with voice recognition and text
translation software.
This is big stuff. Imagine a system so
powerful that a mother talking about how
her son "bombed" in the school play could
be flagged as a potential terrorist (true
story). Well folks, stop imagining.
While the National Security Agency
might not have the capabilities depicted in
"Enemy of the State," they do maintain an
enormous system, known as ECHELON,

motivated the European Parliament to
investigate the system, resulting in a 40-
page report concluding that such systems
not only exist, but also threaten the privacy
of European individuals and businesses.
How does ECHELON work? Since
telecommunications satellites can easily be
tapped through a few well-placed satellite
dishes, intercepting worldwide communica-
tions becomes a matter of putting enough
dishes in the right places.
While it's easy to tap satellites near the
U.S. mainland, it's harder to intercept traf-
fic where we have no permanent base to
place a dish. So solve this problem, the
NSA has formed a multinational agreement
so that it can monitor satellites around the
world, thereby intercepting communica-
tions from such diplomatically sensitive
areas as the Middle East, India, China and

increasingly globalized society, it becomes
difficult to differentiate between domestic
and international traffic. The Internet
knows no political boundaries: The
innocuous e-mail you sent to grandma just
might be routed though a Canadian server,
and if you include the right combination of
words, just might end up on a computer
monitor in Ft. Meade (or in Britain or New
Zealand, etc). Second, our tax money sup-
ports it. We have a right to know, within
reasonable limits, what type of system
exists, and what controls are protecting
our constitutionally protected privacy
rights.
So what should Joe Student do about
this insanity? Feel powerless in the face of
secretive government bureaucracy? Don't
be. If the corporations haven't entirely
hijacked our government, people still have
cfne sav in how ur AVmoney is snent.Du