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8B - The Michigan Daily -- FACEOFF 2000 - Thursday, October 5, 2000
Thursday, October 5, 1999 - FACEOFF 2
Meet the heavyweights
By Jon Schwartz
Daily Sports Writer
From the outside, Yost Ice Arena
looks like an oversized barn.
Inside, it's just a barn like the
Mormon Tabernacle is just a big
If you've never been inside the old
fieldhouse, you've missed out on what
is the lifeblood of Michigan fan sup-
You've missed over 6,000 support-
ers joining together to create a sound
far more lively and ear-splitting than
the 110,000-plus at Michigan Stadium
could ever imagine, a sound that
makes plain and obvious everything
that is wrong about Crisler Arena.
You've missed learning socially
acceptable and expected ways to take
jabs at opponents' mothers, appear-
ances and abilities without paying any
heed to the fact that they're skating
around the ice with lethal weapons in
And you've missed understanding
everything else that makes Michigan
hockey so great.
Because an evening at Yost is not a
hockey game - it's an experience.
There is a reason that the Michigan
hockey players love playing on their
home ice so much. And it's for this
same reason that Miami University's
star forward Jason Deskins lists Yost as
his favorite arena to play in.
It's all because the fans that crowd
the old building mix enthusiasm with a
slight twist of insanity to make each
game a completely unpredictable
"It's such a home-ice advantage,"
team captain Geoff Koch said. "(The
fans) can really be the momentum in a
game when they get going. When it's
packed and everybody's getting going,
you really think that there's nothing
that can stop you. It's really the energy
that we feed off of."
It's easy to get behind a team that's
doing well. But Yost fans can keep
things lively even when things are
looking grim for the Wolverines.
It's this liveliness that keeps things
interesting during every game.
Regardless of the situation, an oppos-
ing player's penalty always results in
the same charming serenade:
"Chump, dick, wuss, douchebag.
Asshole, prick, cheater, BITCH!"
It's all because Yost exists as kind of
vacuum. It's a place to get out aggres-
sion, a place to throw away manners,
sportsmanship and tact, and instead
focus your time on having fun.
It's a place to try things that you'd
never try anywhere else.
Example A: You're driving 95 mph
down Route 23 and a cop pulls you
over. You start chanting at the top of
your lungs, "UGLY PARENTS" and
add the rhythmic clapping in between
each repetition of the line.
In this case, the only thing that your
chant is going to get you is a breatha-
lyzer test and a ride in a police car. Do
not passgo, do not collect $200.
Example B: Michigan State is visit-
ing Yost and the game is tied 1-1 with
10 minutes to go in the third period.
The Spartans' John-Michael Liles
takes a shot from the point which
deflects off Adam Hall's stick and
finds its way behind Michigan's goalie
After a devastating silence over-
comes the crowd for a few moments,
suddenly you and your 6,000 closest
friends roar into the same chant that
Michigan hockey at Yost Ice Arena tends to bring out a scary side of people. For example, take a look at the girl above. An
average student turned into an animal, all because of Michigan hockey.
seemed to bothei the police officer,
this time pointing at the visiting par-
ents sitting behind the Spartans'
In this situation, the damage is still
done, but at least you're feeling a little
And while most of the cheering is
done for the sake of the fans, every so
often, the players take notice of what's
going on around the rink.
"When you sit out because of
injuries, you hear all this stuff and
you're like, 'what the hell is going on
in here?"' Koch said. "When I bring
my mom or my sister here, they can't
believe what they hear."
So take advantage of Yost while you
have the chance.
When you graduate, you'll probably
find that it's not quite so easy to spend
every weekend in such an intimate set-
Bang on the glass. Call the opposing
goalie a sieve and get the entire student
section to join in with you.
Because you can always watch a
hockey game. But places'like Yost are
few and far between.
When Michigan scores: * Wh
Hold up fingers equal to the number is sent
of goals Michigan has. For example, Wave at
if te Wolverines have just scored the box
their third goal, you would hold up "Ohhhh
three fingers. Then, the band will steps in
shout "Ready!", and everyone yells: ing, "Ch
One, two, three! We want ,douche
mooooore goals!" Then, as you're bitch!!"
pointing at the opposing goalie, yell,
"Sieve! Sieve! Sieve! Sieve! Sieve! AS ti
Sieve! Sieve! It's all your fault! It's.rma,
all your fault! It's all your fault!lt's remain
all your fault!"
When you hear a phone ringing: announc
Yell at the opposing goalie, "Hey, goalie! which tir
It's your mom! She says, 'You suck!"' Thank y
So, it's your first Michigan hockey game. Perhaps you're a freshman and have been dying
your whole life to see a game at Yost. Or maybe you're an upperclassman and have been
dragged to the game by some friends.
Well, your friendly Daily hockey writers have decided to ensure that you don't show up with
that stupid, "I don't know what the hell is going on" look that so many unfortunates wear to
their first game at Yost. To do so, we've created "The Michigan Daily's guide to Yost."
So put down that Anthro 101 textbook and study this for an hour or two. It's 10 times more
interesting and infinitely more useful.
en an opposing player
to the penalty box:
the player as he skates to
hhhhhhhhh.....C-ya!!" as he
. Then, scream the follow-
ump, dick, wuss,
bag, asshole, prick, cheater,
he clock reaches 1:05
ling in each period, yell:
much...time...is...left?" The P.A.
er will then say, "Last minute
n the period, last minute," at
me the students respond,
you!" If you are lucky, the P.A.
er might say, "You're wel-
Go crazy if he does - it is a
To taunt the opposing goalie, at
Yell the following, "Hey (insert goalie's
name), you're not a goalie, you're.a sieve.
You're not a sieve, you're a funnel. You're
not a funnel, you're a vacuum. You're not
a vacuum, you're a black hole. You're not
a black hole, (while pointing agressively)
YOU JUST SUCK! YOU JUST SUK! YOU
JUST SUCK!" (this cheer works best when
a large group of fans is participating).
When the opposing team's par-
ents stand up and cheer, yell:
Ugly parents! Ugly parents! (repeat as
often as desired). This cheer can be
adapted when the opposing goalie takes
off his mask (Ugly goalie!).