4A - The Michigan Daily - Thursday, September 28, 2000 Cbe iricua &zltg Now you know, and knowing is half the battle 420 Maynard Street Ann Arbor, MI 48109 daily letters@umich.edu Edited and managed by students at the University of Michigan MIKE SPAHN Editor in Chief E MILY ACHENBAUM Editorial Page Editor Unless otherwise noted, unsigned editorials reflect the opinion of the majority of the Daily's editorial board. All other articles, letters and cartoons do not necessarily reflect the opinion of The Michigan Daily. here's a popular book titled "All I Ever Needed to Know I Learned in Kinder- garten." It basically explains that all of the keys to success in life - sharing, friendship, blah, blah, blah - are taught in that all-important first year of elementary school. But if I could rewrite that production' to fit my own life, it, would be called "All I Ever Needed to Know I Learned from Televi- sion Commercials." Don't get me wrong: I pretty much loathe commercials. Most are irritating, grat- ing and worthy of hat- ing - and we haven't Chris even mentioned the hideous "I'm going to Kula talk in the most annoy- Unsung ing, canned-ham voice for a solid 30 seconds A" A bi and, maybe if you're lucky, throw in some zany sound effects" style of radio advertising. It's just that every once and a while, a com- mercial will come along with such great wis- dom to profess, you can't help but feel like a changed person after viewing it. So I just thought I'd share some of the knowledge I've gained in more than 20 years of television viewing. The most obvious choice is always the best choice. If you and your group of five racially diverse friends are done playing volleyball and need a moment to reflect on the great afternoon you just spent together, an icy beverage is always the way to go. But rather than wasting your time in listing off the entire contents of your fridge, just give 'em the Sunny D. There's no question that they'll choose this tasty citrus punch over any milk, soda or ambiguously titled "purple stuff" that you may have. (And if you really truly care about your five racially diverse friends, don't even buy the pur- ple stuff- mark my words, man, that shit will mess you up. Bad.) You can get away with anything if you have confidence - and mints. Let's say that you're on trial for murder. You don't have an alibi, you don't have a quali- ty lawyer and you don't have a prayer of getting off. Until that is, you flash a package of mixed fruit Mentos. How many self-respecting juries won't fall in love with that "I'm so darned clever, I just sneaked into a rock concert with only a keyboard and a headband" smile of yours? The answer is very few in the U.S., and absolutely none in the Netherlands. More is always better. Imagine this scenario: Paul: I've got a meeting tonight to go over chicken and first quarter profits. George: Hey, I'm discussing chicken and first quarter profits at my meeting, too. Paul: What time? George: 5:30 p.m. You? Paul: 6 .p.m. Both: Hmrnm... If Paul and George are smart, they'll lie, cheat and steal their way into both meeting because you cannot...get... enough chicken ands first quarter profits. Preface your important announcements. Need to tell your parents that you're on aca- demic probation? Need to tell your boyfriend that you're pregnant? When you're dealin' with a serious matter like this, don't just spring it on them. Pick a date when you'd like to make your announcement, and then for a full week befor' keep saying things like, "Join me for a ver. special episode of dinner next Tuesday at 7/8 Central," or "A bedtime conversation you'lt never forget- This Wednesday, all questions will be answered." Hang out with your hot, identical twin. If you should be so lucky as to have arr attractive identical twin, spend all of your time with him/her, because you will, without fail keep running into equally attractive, equally identical twins of the opposite sex. And yout have no idea how many of these gorgeous se of twins are out there, just waiting for you t take them tandem-biking and gum-chewing. Don't believe everything you see on T\ You know those guys sitting in some; majestic wilderness setting who say, "It doesn't get much better than this"? Well, they're drink" ing Coors Light, and I'm afraid that it doesn't get much worse than that. Except for the purple stuff. -Chris Kuila can be reached vict e-mail at ckula@umich.edu and h accessories are sold separately; Abortion issue deserves rational debate Jue to the anti-abortion exhibit by the Genocide Awareness Project (GAP) and protests against them, it was nearly impossible to pass through the Diag with out being bombarded by shouting, pamphlets and politics earlier this week. Considering the construction going on around Angell Hall as well, the lack of walking (or even breathing) room was an unwelcome surprise. While every group has the right to exer- cise their First Amend -_______ ment rights, the extent Better Di of the disruptive atmos- here could have easily a een avoided. an A little more plan- matter of ning and enforcement b of existing rules from administi the Office of Student Activities and Leader- ship concerning Diagr space allocation is necessar needed. The type of group - and the future deb response it will gener-_ ate - also needs to be seriously factored in. Groups should not be able to totally monopolize the Diag to the point that students are completely altering their path to avoid an offensive assault on the senses on their way to class. While no group, controversial or not, should et to rule our shared student space, the nature of the GAP display demonstrated how such displays can be unproductive anyway. This blockade was clearly not a situation that lent itself to the formation of productive dia- logue. Was GAP's grotesque propagan- da display alone supposed to change students' stances on abortion? It did provoke irrational dialogue and knee- jerk reactions, with a near cacophony of disgust from passersby and protesters alike. These groups obviously had a legiti- mate right to argue against GAP, but a y b their method of protest was ineffective. Once GAP set up on the Diag, their graphic posters comparing abortions to mass genocides such as the Holocaust overshadowed any attempts at reason- able discussion. This was a poor way to initiate debate, since it was intended to shock and offend rather than enlighten. A more reasonable alternative for abortion debates could involve a public forum. Representatives from the pro- __________choice and pro-life sides could meet and g space clearly debate their sa arguments in front of IS the student body with mediators. It could be a huge deal, like the Diag display, but in rtiveHill Auditorium - and iS and more rational. It would also do a lot to avoid more to convince stu- dents of the argu- Iacle, ments' validity, rather than disgust interested students with juvenile name-calling, disruptive chanting and gigantic eyesore posters. Reserving Rackham Auditorium or Hill would free up space and allow students to sit down, hopefully encouraging order and, reason. Both GAP and the people who gath- ered to demonstrate against them have their points. But it is obvious that the demonstrations conflicted with general space rights for students. It shouldn't have to come down to restricting allo- cated space near the "M" or limiting demonstrations to one day, but the level of disruption and unproductive dialogue needs to be taken into account by the Office of Student Activities and Leader- ship when two days of prime Diag space is allocated. Strict enforcement and interpretation of existing space allocation rules is nec- essary. 'It makes our campus look ugly. I can't believe they're going to be here for my last two years of school.' -- LSA Junior Lisa Graham commenting on the fence formations around central eampus.4 IR California's solution States should assist students with tuition California is seen as a noncon- formist state. Known for its orig- inal ideas and polices, the people of California have never been afraid to forge ahead and go against the norm. Most recently, they are showing this with their newly proposed college admissions change. Having out awed affirmative action as an acceptable system for use in California uni-_ versities in 1998, the state recently pro- Callfornla posed that those stu- dents with a B program average or higher in high school be g uar- coll~een anteed a Cal Grant sufficient to cover the affordable costs of attending a state college or university. Also included in this proposal would be vouchers of up to $9,708 a year for students wanting to attend private state universities and $1,500 for students with a C average and family income of $33,700 a year or less who want to attend a community college. Calling this, "the most ambi- tious financial aid program in Ameri- can," state Governor Gray Davis hopes that this system would help to give students of all backgrounds more equal opportunities to get into top universities and make college more affordable. While this system is not nearly as efficient or acceptable in assisting minorities in admissions as affirma- TI -'I tive action, there are some other aspects of its policies that would be extremely helpful to students. Pri- marily, this program would make col- lege much more affordable for students. Although everyone should have the chance to go to college, and this would only help students with at least a C, at least it is a start. In a time when college tuition keeps increasing and minimum wage s new remains the same, being able to afford iakes college is a ver real issue for students. ore Many students can't count on their parents " to pay for their edu- cation. And whether completely supporting themselves or paying for half of their schooling, the means to payoff loans and tuition bills are hard to come by. National and state governments need to recognize these problems and work to better assist students in pay- ing for their college education. Stu- dents should be able to educate themselves to their fullest potential without worrying about how they're going to be able to pay off steep stu- dent loans after graduation or afford going out of state to attend the top program for their field in the country. f education and higher learning is the key to our future, the least our government can do is to help to sup- port that. Diag display was attack on community To THE DAILY: I am writing to express my outrage and hurt at the display on the Diag by Students for Life. The sheer physical domination of our Diag by this hateful display was an invasion of what should be a common space for free speech and free expression. This display went beyond free speech to become an assault on us as members of the University community. I personally felt assault- ed, invaded and violated by this huge and mon- strous piece of hate propaganda. All of us in the University community have a responsibility to care for and support each other. When I saw this display, I wondered what effect if might have on a young female student crossing the Diag, a student who had recently made the difficult decision to terminate a preg- nancy. The organizers of this display, who claim to be for "life," should think about how their venomous tactics might seriously affect the health and, yes, even the life, of their fellow stu- dents. ALSON MACDUFFEE DOCTORAL CANDIDATE, HISTORY OF ART Daily's editorial sickening to reader TO THE DAILY: It sickens me, as it should all Wolverines, to think that the Daily's Editorial Page has answered the age old question of, "where does life begin?" ("An obscene analogy: Students should avoid Diag exhibition" 9/25/00). This is a question that philosophers have struggled with for thousands of years. But somehow the Daily feels they have solved it overnight. DOMINIC HAMDEN LSA SENIOR GAP's Holocaust analogy was justified TO THE DAILY: In the Holocaust, millions were brutally slain without a choice.Thetsame is true with abortion. The exhibition in the Diag is showing what really happens to the unborn during abor- tion. What choice did those in the pictures have? RANA IRBY LSA SOPHOMORE ty to preach my opinions on the topic. But what I can say is that I have never caused a woman to need an abortion. This is because I think that condoms are contraceptives and abortion is, for the most part, an abomination. There are certain situations where even I feel an abortion is acceptable. Simply not wanting to use a real contraceptive is not one of them. What I find most disturbing is the liberal pro-choice activists' attitudes. I am by no means a right-winger at all, but I heard the "lib- erals" chanting and wondered just how many people caught the irony. They claim to be informed and liberal, yet they were screaming "shut them down" in reference to an opposing viewpoint. Any intelligent liberal should be promoting their opposition's right to free speech instead of trying to silence them. That isn't lib- eral. That's what has been happening in com- munist nations. What does it mean when even our liberals want to take away our rights? DAN HUERECA LSA SENIOR Killing of unborn is a horrific action 'known as murder' To THE DAILY: Were the pictures of aborted babies on the Diag today disturbing and grotesque? Absolute- ly. But what I find even more disturbing than mere photos is the fact that every day, in the U.S. alone, nearly 4,000 babies are facing grue- some deaths. When a woman decides to have sex, she must also accept the consequences of her actions, and by giving her so-called "freedom of choice," we are actually denying the right of her unborn child to live (otherwise known as murder). We are not trivializing the atrocities of the Holocaust - rather, we believe that the killing of unborn people just as horrific of an action. Those who talked with the pro-lifers behind the fences yesterday enjoyed rational debate and dialogue. On the other hand, the handful of pro-choice students who marched around the Diag resorted to name calling. DAWN IoW RC SOPHOMORE, STUDENTS FOR LIFE 'Atrocious' campaign made mockery of 'U' To THE DAILY: The events on the Diag this week have made an absolute mockery of our school. The grotesque photos on display by the "Genocide Awareness Project" accomplished nothing sav shocking our community into a state of disgus and confusion. That the University allowq such an inappropriate, not to mention ignorant, display causes me to question the level 4 integrity and respect on which this institutiq prides itself. Comparisons made between abortion a genocide atrocities such as the Holocaust black lynching are nothing short of ridiculous and offensive. Furthermore, projecting imags of dismembered babies is not a legitimate means for taking a stand against abortion. Tae use of shock in public persuasion is an imma- ture and inefficient technique. GAP's lack Y scientific reproducible evidence in making, claim against abortion reveals the elementary and discreditable nature of the organization. The University's consent to such an outra- geous display in the center of campus is bey my comprehension. The "freedom of spee argument is legitimate, but so is the University' right to differentiate between acceptable forn of opinion and the blatant exhibition of lies. A line must separate that which is tolerable aid that which is undoubtedly inappropriate. Tb representation, or rather, misrepresentation, c the Diag is equally apropos as a full-blown di- play of pornography. The public outcry that resulted from GAIT' display is proof of the large number of offen students in the wake of this atrocious campaign. It is my hope that the University will recognize this upset as such, and work to protect its' members from future obscenities. JUUA RUBS LSA JUNI$ -R Illegal abortion has grisly consequence TO THE DAILY: As horrified as I was by the exhibition on the Diag, such sensationalism does not compel me to take the sort of pro-life stance the ora nizers apparently hoped for. I challenge tai organizers of this event to take a truly balance approach. There should be an equal number p grisly photographs of the corpses of wo who have died trying to induce their own a tions as well as photos of pregnant teenage sur- vivors. of incest, beaten and bloodied rah victims, and women suffering from lethal mole and ectopic pregnancies. Unless the organizers of this event are willing to step up to the plate and honestly assess some of the similarly hor- rific reasons why women have abortions, theii tactics are simply sensationalistic and weak. CAU MORTENI4 SCHOOL OF PUBLIC PO THOMAS KULJURGIS TENTATIVELY SPEAKING You HAVE 3 DAYS LEFT TO REGISTER TO VOTE! Remember, under new state legislation you must be registeredt ovote 'in the same district that the address on your driver's license is in. Don't give up your most fundamental right! Go to www.sos.stteni.useL ction for more information. - - . - - - l ----- ---- li- 7.2 I1