4A - The Michigan Daily - Thursday, December 7, 2000" (Thle ticl igttn ttil Better watch out, better not cry, better not pout, I'm telling you why 420 Maynard Street Ann Arbor, MI 48109 daily.letters@umich.edu Edited and manaed by University of Michigan MIKE SPAHN Editor in Chietf EMILY ACHENBAUNI Editorial Page Editor Unless otherwise noted, unsigned editorials reflect the opinion of the majori v of the Daily' editorial board. All other articles, letters and cartoons do not, necessarily reflect the opinion of The Michigan Daily. Affirmative action court ruling offers promise A s a hard-hitting investigative journal- ist., I'll travel anywhere for a good story. My nevemr-ending search for the truth has taken me across the globe, from run- ning with the Zapatistas in Mexico to exposing child exploitation in Brazil. I've profiled Middle Eastern radicals and s I've witnessed the, locker room celebra- tions of Super Bowl champs. I report, therefore I am. It should come as no surprise, then, that I .jumped at the opportunity to inter- view one of the most CS intriguing personali- Kula ties, on the planet. A man revered by mil- lions, yet rarely seen A Arbor in public. A judge of character, a giver of joy, a saint in our own lifetime. A man named Santa Claus. Sparing no expense, the Daily recently flew me to the North Pole so that I could spend a few minutes with the jolly toy maker as he prepared for the always-hectic Christmas season. After three days of mak- ing arrangements with Claus' elfin public relations team, I was given an hour alone with the man himself. The following is a transcription of our conversation. CK: Santa. we're all aware of your gen- erous deeds: The toys under the trees, the gifts in the stockings. So I'm going to get right to the hard questions that the people want answered. SC: Ho ho ho. CK: You've long been held up as an arbiter of moral character. In fact, there's a public belief that you have the inherent ability to determine whether someone's been bad or good. Yet your own personal history is not entirely free of indiscretions, is it? SC: I'm afraid you'll have to more spe- cific, little boy, Santa's been doing his job for a long, long time. CK: Let's go back to Christmas Eve, 1976. You wrapped your sleigh around a telephone pole in Oklahoma City, and when police arrived on the scene, they found your blood-alcohol level to be more than double the legal limit. SC: (tugging at his collar) I admit, that was a low point in my career, and I still regret the example I set, but I came public with my drinking problem, and I went through the necessary rehabilitation. CK: That you did. But excessive drink- ing wasn't the only problem facing you in those days. Court records show that you were slapped with more than a dozen paternity suits between '72 and '80. In one case, an 8-year old boy in Tucson testified that he saw you - and I quote - "special kissing Mommy underneath the mistletoe." SC: (visibly sweating) Okay, most of those suits were just cases of the girl try- ing to get a little attention, a little spot- light. All of the blood tests came back negative. CK: But your rampant infidelity had a costly impact on your marriage, didn't it? SC: (drinking from a huge mug of Woodchuck hard cider) So we're going to get into this again, huh? You reporters are all the same, just like jackals. Yes, my wife left me, and yes, that reflects badly on the whole toy business, but I don't miss her: She couldn't handle the Claus. She used to give.me a hard time, just because the Christmas delivery meant I'd always have to be away during Hanukkah. CK: And that - wait, you're Jewish? I'm sorry if I sound ignorant, but Claus doesn't seem like a Jewish name. SC: We shortened it from Clausenblat@ after the war. CK: Oh, I see. So why get into the Christmas business? Why not deliver Hanukkah presents to Jewish children? SC: Are you kidding? To make separate delivery trips on eight straight nights would be a logistical nightmare - the cost of reindeer food alone would put me in t1le red (drinks deeply from mug). Plus the elves would have to put in overtime to turn out that many dreidels, and I'd just as soon pack up and move to old Mexico towi@ before I start paying those wee demons time-and-a-half, (drains the cider, tosses the mug over his shoulder). Donner, more hooch! CK: Santa, perhaps you should slow down - you're starting to slur your speech. SC: Wazzat, boy? You wanna speech? How 'bout a poem? "It's the night before Christmas, and Santa's getting's trashed forget the cookies 'n your window's get- ting smashed. Ho." - On that merrv note. Chris Krla would like to wish everyone a happy holi- days. He can be reached via e-mail at ckulacaumich.edu. n Monday, the 9th Circuit Court of OAppeals issued a decision uphold- ing the former race-based admission policies of the University of Washing- ton's Law School, asserting that the policies do not violate the 14th Amendment This rulin or the 1964 Civil Rights Act. Although Universifj a this decision lacks direct, legal influence Washingl on the lawsuits facing the University, it will Scho hopefully add legiti- , macy to the Universi- action ca ty's position in the LSA race-based affir- added cri mative action trials taking place in our own c Detroit. Monday's opinion expressed agreement with Supreme Court Jus- tice Powell's opinion in the 1978 case, University of California Regents v. Bakke. The court rightful- ly and appropriately agreed that Pow- ell's opinion was valid case law, and that national admissions standards are legal if they follow Powell's guidelines against quotas, but in favor of diversity. y to ft~ Hopefully, our own 11th Citrcuit' Court of Appeals will agree witla this latest decision in favor of affirmiative action and rule that the University's policies are "necessary to promote a compelling govwern- Q/"t the ment interest." Pro- ponents of race-based of affirmative action can be optimiestic n's Law becausethis recent ruling contradicts a FirmatiYe pervious ruling in a 1996 5th Circuilt of ae lends Appeals case, which heightens the pr ©ba- dence n to bility that the Unver- sity's case will appear ase. before the Supreme Court. This can be added to already com- pelling circumstances involved in the case. Due to the high profile of the University, the intervenors invoIved and the massive level of research and empirical data gathered in suppovt of affirmative action for court proceed- ings, our case is unique and could quite possibly bring the question of affirmative action to the Supreme Court once again. 'GPAs and test scores can't measure everything. They can't measure things like ability to overcome disadvan- tages and other aspects that add to a person's character.' - Third-year law student Amit Kurlekar at last night's Asian Pacific Associations affirmative action debate. '.U PSates riet to die States should reconsider euthanasia T he popular debate regarding assist- ed suicide has waned in Michigan over the past few years, following the defeat of 1998's ballot proposal B, which would have legalized physician- assisted suicide. Along with the defeat of many state ballot proposals were two key rulings from the Supreme Court in 1997, Washington v. Glucks- burg and Vacco v. Quill, which upheld states' rights to main- tain the illegality of The deci assisted suicide. Nationally, there has live or di been scattered attention dealt paid to the issue of assisted suicide in laws that states such as Maine and California, but the a patient issue remains generally across t outside the public eye. The issue has been brought up again thanks to a monumental deci- sion by the Dutch government. On November 28. 2000, the Dutch Parlia- ment approved a physician-assisted suicide bill and is now awaiting acceptance by the Senate. The bill sets up a series of steps that a patient must go through in order to secure a physician-assisted suicide, including steps to ensure that the patient is in sound mind. This bill makes the Netherlands the first nation in the world to officially decriminalize euthanasia, and is an important first step towards securing atient'srights. The protection of this aw against the harsh criticisms it has drawn from many groups, including the Vatican, is of imperative concern. The Dutch government has effective- ly become the first to officially endorse the most fundamental issue of a patient's right to choose. Critiques of euthanasia generally center on the belief that no one, espe- cially physicians, should have the right to end a life. Unfortunately, such criti- r e t hi cisms fail to take into consideration: the intensity of terminal illnesses and the conflicting feelings that patients are forced to contend with. Physiciian- assisted suicide isn't simply a black- and-white issue of life versus deatlh. It is an issue that encompasses one's right to die with dignity, to alleviate pai, to secure autonomy, and most import ant- ly, to feel in control of one's own {des- tiny. By stoppinig a ion to patients ability- to decide the course of cannot his or her life, bans on 'Vlt& by euthanasia restrict a person's 14th Amenmd- reStrict ment freedoms. ol- lowing the Supreme r ,~ght Court s decision to e board. leave this issue up to individual states, Ore- gon is the only state that has legalized physician-assisted suicide. Oregon's assisted suicide provi- sions also set up a series of safety nets to ensure that the power of euthanasia was not improperly u-bed. In 1998, the first year that the law was in effect, only.23 patients were prescribed life-ending drugs. Of the 23, only 15 actually committed sui- cide. These numbers are dramatic ally lower than the doomsday prediction of antagonists of the bill. Oregon's "Death With Dignity" laws hskve proven to be a safe and cautious method of securing a patient's right to choose without being over-zealous., Michigan, and the rest of the states currently banning physician-assisted suicide, ought to reconsider thwir positions. on the practice. To deiny people the right to end their own lives, is to deny them freedom. T'he euthanasia debate is essentially a moral and religious one, and the gv- ernment should have no right to, impose a specific set of morals oitito the general population. Gore should concede election TO THE DAILY: In the interest of national unity, I urge you, Mr. Vice President, to concede the election to President-elect George W. Bush. Since you have already conceded to him once, it should not be as difficult the second time. You have lost an election in Florida, sever- al recounts and several lawsuits regarding those recounts. All of your efforts have failed. Any further attempt to gain the presidency at this time is a shameless usurpation of power. You should have conceded immediately after the vote certification. You would have appeared much more honorable to the nation which you have served for many years. The best thing for you to do now is to congenially concede this election today. JOSHUA BOSTWICK LSA SENIOR Bus accident may be due to flawed design TO THE DAILY: As the question of who is to blame in the tragic accident involving a University bus and pedestrian comes to trial, we should consider the fault of traffic engineers as well as that of the driver. For years I experienced this corner as a pedestrian, bus passenger and driver on my way to North Campus. I cannot help but w:onder why the intersection remained unchanged despite its inherent danger. It makes no sense that as traffic from Catherine Street gets a green light, pedestri- ans walking, across Glenn Street get. the walk signal also. At least half of the vehicles on Catherine turn right onto Glenn, causing a yielding problem between vehicles and pedes- trians alike. It is unclear who has the right of way. Though no one can dismiss the horror experienced by the friends and loved ones of the victim, this case should be considered as one of human negligence as well as another incident of flawed design in America. In this case it is possible that the traffic engineers are at fault. SCARLET MCCARTHY ALUMNUS Social Darwinism needs no legislation TO THE DAILY: There is a tendency in our society to pro- tect the stupid. I think we as a society need to differentiate between laws that protect people from each other and laws that protect people from themselves. It is the latter that infuriates the more intelligent element of our society. We need to rid ourselves of these laws. I do not need to be protected from myself' Owning a gun, drinking 21 shots, not wearina vour seat blt. having a heroin holi- be ignorant of any such law anyway. entity, sealed by consummation, made fruit- Robbery, murder, drunk driving and rape ful through procreation. In this sense, iar- are all against the law, because they all effect riage is a covenant traditionally tied closely someone else - and important laws they are. with religious principles. The very concept I hope we wise up as a society and stop trying of "marriage" assumes a union of a ma4 to save idiots. Darwin had a theory, and it's and a woman. Saying that homosexuals high time we let idiots bring themselves to should be allowed to "marry" is equivalent extinction. Maybe we need a new law, "Reap to saying that a man should be able to what you sow" and hope idiots have a bumper receive a mammogram. Performing a mam- crop. mogram requires that the subject be female with mammary glands in the same way that JARED BOYD a "marriage" can only take place between a ENGINEERING JUNIOR man and a woman. This is certainly not to say that there aren't those who ignore the religious Homosexuals' 'rights' aspect of'marriage.A couple may marry by an order of court, without the presenci are in no way denied of priests or rabbis. But if one comes from any sort of traditional Judeo-Christian- Muslim tradition, the practice of homo- TO THE DAILY: sexuality is considered a sin, like many Nick Boncher's letter to the editor others such as stealing or murder that are "Gay marriages should be legal" (12/5/00) simply a part of society, among all walks grossly misrepresents two points on which of life. It is surprising that someone who his argument rests. disregards religious principles on homo- Boncher calls on the "land of the free" sexuality would wish to pursue a sacred to approve of the gay marriages he is ask- ritual originally made possible by religior ing for, saying that it treats homosexuals Although it is not my intent to press like second-class citizens in its beliefs on others, it must be said that mar- "apartheid." What Boncher seems to riage is a tremendously meaningful sacred ignore is that there are no "rights" that are and religious act that is traditionally denied to gays. Homosexuals in this coun- "blessed" by God between a man and a try are not prosecuted for their homosexu- woman. It is not as Boncher describes, as ality, nor are they represented any less getting joint health coverage, leasing an equally by federal lawmakers. They are apartment or inheriting from one's partner. given the freedom of speech, a fair trial, I find it somewhat disheartening that due process, the right to vote and are sub- those have become the reasons why people ject to all the laws that apply to everyone like Boncher want to "get married." else. 'Make no mistake, there is nothing that legally separates gays from the rest of RABEH Soo the population. In more traditional coun- LSA SENIOR tries, homosexuality is punishable by death, jail, castration or public ridicule. A THIKYou'D MAIEA society like ours, in which students take G00D COLUMNIsT? DiE. opportunities to scrawl "dykes rule" on y. campus builds, hold parades and celebrate THE 'U' COMMUNITY NEED their homosexuality is by no means one T HEAR W AYOU H that bullies, torments or represses homo- sexuals in the ways that Boncher argues it[ does. More importantly though, Boncher states that gays have a "moral right" to be MAY UAVE IN STO EFOR married. Whose morality is Boncher refer- ring to? His own? I believe that Boncher has seriously misunderstood the definition of the word "marriage.' Marriage is a his- E'AIV s AT torically sacred, religious union between a man and a woman. Before democracy, g republics and the "land of the free," a man N"CK AT and a woman were united (or reunited from their original separation upon the creation h of Eve from Adam, depending on your R N HOW.0A. . beliefs) in holy matrimony to constitute one THOMAS KULJURGIS TENTAT"FIVEY SPEAKING STA T OF CORSC oU NE s5 (LcruRE IWD-) a 7 / %/ fi r * .-, I I I I 0 _ «,-I Ih BY JASON POLAN O NcDebTtN AE Gi 6AE NA (. THF. AeIZ 40 0 UM-. I Aj I I Oo x { r U 1 0 tl -A)MI 4glW I i I i t,. .Il.k.H: ----O-- -