4A - The Michigan Daily - Monday, October 4, 1999 I~e $£itigtu &dlg The Student's Guide to the 1999-2000 School Year 420 Maynard Street Ann Arbor, MI 48109 dally. Ietters@umich.edu Edited and managed by students at the University of Michigan HEATHER KAMINS Editor in Chief JEFFREY KOSSEFF DAVID WALLAC E Editorial Page Editors Unless otherwise noted, unsigned editorials reflect the opinion of the majority offthe Daily's editorial board. All other articles, letters and cartoons do not necessarily reflect the opinion of The Michigan Daily. Colleges or prisons? Engler must re-prioritize budget A nother school year is well underway and we all know what that means: stress. The beginning of each school year is perhaps one of the most nerve-racking times in every college student's academic calendar. Every September. we stu- dents are faced with a new host of situa- tions, decisions and problems that never seems to get any' easier. "Will I get an 'A' out of Bio 436? "Will the football team go all the way this year?" "Should I get the Scott Lexus SUV. the Jeep Hunter or the Pathfinder?" g With all of these the S grave matters to worry about, the last thing we need to be bothered with is the random events of the coming year. Anxiety over things like politics and fed- eral budgets only diverts our attention from important things like school and "The Real World." Who wants fret about the outcomes of MSA elections or U.S. military action? Wouldn't it be great if we could somehow know what is in store for the coming year? Well, worry no more, young Wolverines. Just as I did last year, I have compiled below my predictions for the school year ahead. That's right, this is The Student's Guide to the 1999-2000 School Year (ISBN 0-671-66702-H. All rights reserved). Everything below is guaranteed to be 100- percent correct or my name isn't Pat Buchanan. * Oct. 8 - Wishing to follow Comerica Park in capitalizing on the investment opportunities in the "new Detroit,' several other companies make plans for new pro- jects in the Detroit area. Scheduled to open in Spring 2000 are the Slim Jim Hockey Arena, the Farmer Jack Expo Center and the Pillsbury Institute of Arts. * Oct. 9 - In football action, the top-5 ranked Wolverines whack the MSU Spartans 21-19. Unnamed Daily columnist wins 5500. * Oct. 18 - The United States scraps plans to send peacekeeping soldiers to Sierra Leone when it is discovered that the country is predominantly black. 0 Oct. 23 - Following the Miss America Pageant's decision to drop its 50- year-old rule barring contestants who have been pregnant, Monica Lewinsky announces her bid for the crown. Nov. 3 - Much to the chagrin of her publicists, Jennifer Lopez makes a cameo appearance in the remix video for Juvenile's "Back That Azz Up." Nov. 19 - Minorities remain infuriat- ed despite NBC network executives' pro- posal to include more under-represented groups in their Fall line-up with the zany sitcom "Amos & Andy: The Next Generation." Nov. 23 - Despondent over the quick failure of his solo career, Jordan Knight joins the multi-platinum group The Backstreet Boys. * Dec. 4 - In presidential election news, CNN Gallup polls reveal a huge drop in the number of Pat Buchanan sup- porters. The decline comes just three days after the reform party candidate vows that "if elected, I plan to invade Poland." Dec. 13 - Seizing a huge profit-mak- ing opportunity, the University Board of Regents approve the implosion of MLIB for the construction of a student SLV dealer- ship. Jan. 1 - The entire Microsoft product line successfully passes midnight 2000 without any glitches. Microsoft stock prices leap to new heights and Bill Gates becomes the country's first jillionaire. Jan. 6 - Controversy ensues when a team of investigators from SOLE uncover evidence that "Steve" and "Barry" are noth- ing more than aliases for Kathie Lee- Gifford. * Feb. 12 - Prominent cartoon giant Hanna-Barbera files a $3.3-million slander suit against Rev. Jerry Falwell, following the Baptist evangelist's proclamation that the Smurfs are gay. Feb. 29 - After years of fraud-ridden elections, MSA decides to discontinue its online voting because of rising security con- cerns. This year, students vote by applause. * March 8 - After several unsuccessful bids for the MSA presidency, Jessica Curtin critically wounds three students in a failed coup attempt. April 3 - In an unexpected move, Republican presidential nominee George W. Bush announces the selection of former Washington, D.C., mayor and fellow crack head Marion Barry as his running mate. April 14 - Pandemonium erupts at the Naked Mile when someone touches DianaW Ross's breasts. There you go: The 1999-2000 school year demystified in less than a page. Man, what would you all do without me'? Now you can focus your attention on things that really matter, like that taxing jeep decision (I'd go with the Pathfinder, bro). - Scott Hunter can be reached via e-mail at sehunter a umich.edu. GJov. John Engler's $1.8 billion higher education budget went into effect on Oct. 1, giving the University 4.8 percent more funding than last year, coupled with an additional 2 percent designated to technolog- ical improvements. Accordingly, the University Board of Regents approved the lowest tuition increase in more than 10 years. Should we rejoice? Well, not so fast. Beneath the glittering statistics lies the real- ity: The University still needs more state funding. Comparatively, the 1999-2000 tuition increase is marginal - a 2.8 percent increase from last year. Still, this increase in tuition heightens the financial burden on students and their families, forcing them to seek aid from the University or an outside source. Also included in Engler's proposal was a five-tier system that groups universities according to the amount of funding received from the state. The University was placed in the top level - "the research tier" - grouped together with Michigan State and Wayne State universities based on a funding floor of $9,000 per student. Grouping universities together in this manner overlooks the individual needs of each one. The University is consistently ranked among the top five research universi- ties in the country, placing it ahead of such Ivy League schools as Yale and Princeton. If the other two state universities in our "research tier" receive similar funding, yet participate in fewer research projects, is it justified for legislators to group them togeth- er? We don't think so. While Wayne State and Michigan State educate thousands of stu- dents every year, they serve a different pur- pose than the University of Michigan. Michigan is the top research university in the country, receiving more federal research funding than any other U.S. school. Research funding cannot be measured in dollars per student. Because the needs of the University increase disproportionately with those of other universities, it is vital that it receives the appropriate funding. Maybe it's because Engler is a Michigan State alumnus. But we just can't understand how he could even try to equate Michigan State and the University of Michigan. If he wants Michigan to fall from the top tier of national universities to a second-rate school, he should continue this demented funding plan. But Michigan isn't the only post-sec- ondary institution that's been shafted by Engler's budget. Higher education should be near the top of Engler's priority list, but recent evidence suggests otherwise. The budget for correctional facilities is expected to eclipse that of higher education in the upcoming year. Last year's correctional facil- ities budget was $1.3 billion, compared with this year's $1.8 billion for higher education. That is a sorry statement about Michigan's priorities. We'd rather see young people edu- cated than locked in prison. But Engler does- n't see the difference. Considering the state's booming economy - with the lowest unemployment rate in decades - higher education should be pro- moted more than ever. For the state to con- tinue its economic growth, education should be at the top of the agenda. The number of students enrolled full-time in Michigan's public universities is nearly six times the prison population. This should be a wake up call to the state legislature to con- sider the re-allocation of funds. It is appalling that the state government would spend nearly as much money on maintaining and constructing prison facilities as it would invest in its future: the students. The University, along with other public state universities, deserves more funding. Although Engler increased funding to the university, it evidently wasn't enough to pre- vent a tuition increase. Furthermore, the needs of each university should be assessed on an individual basis, so that the use of state funds is equitable. It is time for our elected officials in Lansing to reconsider the need for adequate funding for public universities. 0. THOMAS KULJURGIS TENTATIVEiY SPEAKING n.}: Trouble in the sky NASA funding cuts are not the answer T he 20th Century has seen many impor- tant changes and discoveries. One of. the most important advances made was the advent of space flight. In the United States, NASA has been responsible for all major space programs. The organization has had its fair share of serious failures over the years, such as the Challenger explosion, and most recently the loss of the Mars Climate Orbiter due to a Metric to English conversion error. After incidents like this, people sometimes clamor for a cut in funds to NASA. The recent Orbiter loss was a serious mistake, but is not an excuse to cut funding to NASA. In today's society, there is never enough money for all the programs and organizations that need it. As such, daily bartering occurs as to who should get how much funding, if any. As a scientific institution, NASA spends much of its time, energy and funds on pure scientific research and discovery rather than practical applications. Thus, many see NASA as a waste of funds that could be going to improve the daily lives of Americans. Advocates of this action fail to realize that diverting funds from NASA would not be enough to make a significant contribution to any other program. NASA's funding is a very small part of the federal budget - about one penny out of every dollar, a dramatic decrease from its early years. Diverting this money to other programs would not make any kind of positive impact -modem science would take a tremendous blow for no gain elsewhere. Trb41-l-~ -a - . 1: ila lha i-..a+1 by supporting NASA. Thanks to NASA's new policy of cheaper, more efficient programs, further advances can be made at no noticeable expense to the taxpayers. There is no excuse not to support NASA. Americans also must keep in mind that the space program led to many improvements in their daily lives as well. As a cutting edge field, space science has helped to make advances in many areas, such as communica- tions and plastics. Without the support of tax- payers, there would be fewer new inventions, no new discoveries in space, no new products for consumers to purchase. As a haven of learning and science, the University and its students must support NASA. A large percentage of the University's funding is for pure research-based science. It is this kind of work that separates us from most of the other universities in this state. The University would not be the school that it is if it were not for the fact that taxpayer money is supporting its scientific research. Cut fund- ing to NASA, and the government will soon cut funding to university's like this one as well. Science is not an easy realm to work in. The greatest discoveries are often preceded by disasters, failures, stops and restarts. This has been true of NASA, and all other major sci- entific programs. Mistakes happen; knowl- edge comes through trial and error. As such, Americans must accept the fact that NASA will occasionally experience foul-ups. Knowing this, every effort must still be made #n rrn-w- VA C A, 4;.cnA;:,nn T :i o ,n #%,m a o Don't use censorship to prevent swearing TO THE DAILY: In her response to Schillaci's Sept. 27 column, "Capitalizing on the magic and mystique of the 'F' word," Estelle Baker gives us the primary reason why one must attempt to understand a piece of writing before responding to it ("Swearing is not attractive or creative." 9/29/99): She has run Schillaci's column through her per- sonal moral filter and pieced together a statement she finds offensive. Of course, I cannot disagree with her assessment of the insipidness of constant swearing. On the other hand. I actually do understand Schillaci's point about censor- ship creating an aura of mystique around the censored product. It is a fact proven by history. Perhaps Baker fails to under- stand this; any well-adjusted person has experienced curiosity as to the identity of censored words or text. Moreover, she commends the FCC because "someone has to take a stand (on morals) somewhere." In the next para- graph, she discusses her miraculously sheltered youth. Perhaps the home is where a moral stand should be taken. She must, after all, remember from her high school government class that leaving the teaching of morals to the government is somewhat un-American. Baker does not understand that by showing children that there is nothing special or effective about swearing, there might be less desire to use these words. After all, less repressed societies than our j own understand that repression creates desire. MICHAEL BEASLEY LSA JUNIOR Microsoft-'U' deal will have hidden costs TO THE DAILY: There are a few things that the Daily's edi- torial ("Microdeal" 9/23/99) did not consider regarding the effect of the University's impend- ing deal with Microsoft to provide reduced prices on Microsoft Office to students and staff of the University. This deal will have the effect of limiting the choices that students have when it comes to computing. If you want to use Microsoft Office, you need to purchase a Microsoft oper- ating system in order to use it. By making this deal, Microsoft has increased the likelihood that recipients of the deal will buy Microsoft operating systems at full price. For Microsoft, once the first copy of a pro- gram like Office is produced, each additional copy costs the company next to nothing. Once Microsoft has recovered their development costs, the rest is profit. More importantly, the UORGC~t2Ep 1j(? KUG ISA * W C~) W V 1 M ~PEOPLE WKE.ShrK Ta FLAY:.. Al bOf GOV !t . .- r 61* 4 -40 G -kvli w9C ".eA Also, Microsoft gets lots of free advertising out of the deal. Of course, I don't think anyone has ever accused Microsoft of not being clever. The University ought to inform students and staff of other available software. Sun Microsystems gives away a program called StarOffice, which is compatible with Microsoft Office, and Corel gives away Word Perfect to users of Linux, a free operating system that works on just about any kind of hardware. Like the Daily points out, owning a computer is expensive enough already. I don't mind if business school students study Microsoft as an example of a successful company. It is important, however, that students be told the truth about their computing options and the interests that determine them. MATTHEW MURPHY LSA SENIOR Chant was not stolen from Florida State TO THE DAILY: As a member of the front-row, "super- fans" section for the past six years, I felt compelled to put an end to this ridiculous "first down chant" controversy once and for all. In fact, the Michigan student sec- tion is imitating the referee's first down signal. After the Blue defense has suc- cessfully forced the opposing team to punt, the Michigan marching band plays "Temptation" as the student section "tempts" thehopponents to go for first down rather than punt! We have more tradition here in Ann Arbor than any school in the country. The last thing we would ever do is pilfer a cheer from a school like Florida State. Go Blue! STU BERLOW PUBLIC HEALTH STUDENT First down chant is. a new Michigan at Florida State. We may have even stolen it from them. The point is though, that when Michigan forces atfourth down, it is Itime for the opposition to punt. When the opposition punts, we get a first down. The fans are just signaling that our team is about to gain a first down. It may not be a tradition at Michigan to do the "first down chant," but it is something we do now. This is as much a part of the cheering as shaking our keys on an opponent's third down, or waving our hats for a kickoff. These aren't traditions either, but we do them anyway. Maybe everyone else in the stadium is trying to imitate Florida State, but I'm just signaling first down for the only college football team I've ever truly cared about. JAMES COTTON ENGINEERING JUNIOR True Michigan fans should stop the chop 1 To THE DAILY: Stop The Chop held a successful stu- dent information session Friday on the Diag. Several hundred students showecd support and agreed to take the cheer and make it Michigan's. Of three dissenters, one made argu- ments of animal rights and the wolverine never inhabiting Michigan, another pro- posed the "it's different because we use a different song" argument, the last said his two favorite teams were the Atlanta* Braves and Florida State so it was alright with him. Obviously, these people are not true Michigan fans. No real Michigan fan could support such weak arguments at the expense of their school. How sickening. James Cotton and others may think then