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IN IVERS!ITrY
Section F
Wednesday
September 8, 1999
NEW STUDENT EDITION
........ . ...... .... ....... . ............
Come to the
Un iv ersiy
ndfind
your fortune
Health system half of 'U'
$1.5 billion budget pays for 3
hospitals,
120 clinics
By Dave Den Herder
Daily Staff Reporter
After a couple of weeks in the hill
area residence halls, it's easy to label
them as the outskirts of campus. And
for most undergraduates, they might
as well be.
But the telltale thumping of heli-
copter blades as they buzz the
Markley rooftop and disappear
behind the trees symbolizes the
extent of Michigan's Ann Arbor cam-
pus.
"We account for nearly half the
size and scope of this University,"
said Medical School Dean Allen
Lichter of the University's Health
System.
The system, the heart of which is
spread over a roughly 40-acre
expanse northeast of central campus,
includes three hospitals, 30 health
centers, 120 outpatient clinics and,
of course, the University's Medical
School.
The system's budget for this past
year, through government and pri-
vate grants, totaled $974 million,
although Larry Warren, Executive
Director of the University's hopsitals
and health centers said that after rev-
enues such as pysician's fees are fac-
tored in, the budget approaches $1.5
billion.
It's an eyebrow-raising sum for an
organization most first-year students
never even set foot in - but ade-
quate to maintain one of the most
elite health care centers in the United
States.
"We are a wonderful resource for
the University, the state and the
nation," Lichter said.
National rankings seem to agree.
Michigan ranks 10th among 13 hos-
pitals deemed good enough to make
the U.S. News and World Report
honor roll. To make the honor roll,
institutions must score high in at
least six of 16 specialties.
The distinguished list includes the
Mayo Clinic and the Cleveland
Clinic, but is dominated by
University-based helath centers. In
the most recent ranking, Johns
Hopkins Hospital was in the top slot,
while the University of Chicago
rounded out the honor roll group.
But why are the nation's best
See HEALTH, Page 5F
"You are never bitter, deceptive or petty."
-fortune cookie
oming freshmen should receive fortune cookies with
the message: "You will pay great sums of money to
receive a small piece of paper after four, five or per-
aps six years."
Then they should receive a second cookie with one of
everal message choices including, "You will be asked to
oin many student groups, several of which overuse the
ord 'philanthropic,"' "Mmmm. Ramen noodles are
mmy" or "You will move into a closet-sized living
pace, where you will sleep seven feet above the floor."
Had I received a fortune cookie four years ago, it
ld have told me I would be the recipient of many
ly informed fortune cookies in the future. (This will
ave much to do with your own future, just sit tight and
pen one of those little paper containers of rice.)
Instead; I've always opened cook-
es telling me that "you are never
itter, deceptive or petty." Rather Jenni
han being blatantly wrong (though Yachnin
musing nonetheless) truthful for-
tine cookiescould have been more
elpful.
hwould have known "Don't eat
h fish in the cafeteria," "You will
top showering daily, wear more
eodorant," and "The bolts in a loft
re not always as strong as they
ppear." AK
Despite countless nights of eating Comm
ake-out from the little white boxes
ith the metal handle, I never actu-
Ily gotten information that helped me excel at the
niversity. (Sorry Mom, I mean studying just doesn't
i the same kind of mystery and suspense those little
ic wrapped morsels do.)
In fact, if those tasty little cookies filled with a paper
lip were more exact, it could helped stave off little sur-
rises in a variety of situations for a lot of people. (Now,
I'm assuming everyone likes fortune cookies, but
I'm sure I'll offend someone who doesn't. So
just pretend it's a different kind of
cookie that happens to contain an
informative message.)
University President Lee
Bollinger could have broken open a
A ie to find a note reading, "You will become presi-
ent of large, public University and shortly thereafter, it
ill be faced with several lawsuits concerning the use of
ace in admissions. If he had a second cookie, it would
ave said "Nice hair. Everyone will notice the hair."
Athletic Director Tom Goss would have had a bag of
ookies, with omens such as "The scoreboards are a good
ea, but the tube sock around Michigan Stadium ... not
o much" and "Make sure the books stay balanced."
All the students in a Ralph Williams lecture could find
ookies on their seats, containing a cheerful, Canadian
nted, "Wonderful to be with you!" complete with a
tt e smiley face at the end. On the opposite end, all the
tudents in Chemistry 125 would find a cookie on the
able in 1800 Chem. and the paper inside would have an
personal, uneducational "A, C, C, D, B" to help them
rough the exams.
Everyone who eats in the University cafeterias could
ave their M-card swiped at the door and be handed a
ookie. Inside would be the disclaimer "Lard is actually a
ice. No, really, it is."
oung women going through sorority rush would be
W with fat-free, no-salt, no-sugar fortune cookies (of
ourse they won't actually eat them) at the first house
ey visit, with the reminder "You can tell a lot about a
irl by what she's wearing."
There could be several variations of fortune cookies for
e students on North Campus. A few for the people who
ad the unfortunate luck to live there, for the Engineers
anging out in the EECS Building, and all the other peo-
le who got lost after boarding one of the big blue buses.
When poor souls receive notice they'll be housed in
ursley for the year (or until they can find a way to sneak
a normal dorm), they'll be gifted with the fortune,
come to Bursley. God has spited you. Ha ha."
The Engineering students will open perfectly crafted
brtune cookies, created with algorithms and graphing-
alculator exactness, that announce the fortune "You will
ctually have to learn something in college. Also, you will
ot be able to create your own answers. Had you wanted
>do that, you should have applied to LSA." (To defend
iis before an angry mob of English majors attacks me, I
m an LSA student, and it's true, just admit it.)
Hanging up outside the showers in the residence halls
'd be little plastic fortune cookies with rubber notes
tg "Fungus grows in here. In much the same way,
reshmen are drawn to fraternity parties, so wear flip-
lops."
Prior to Michigan-Michigan State football games,
egardless of the field where the game is played, fans
iould arrive to find cookies and a glass of milk, with the
Pcca-p "Mdn -
DANA UNNANE/Daily
The University Health System is a $1.5 billion dollar
research, health care and teachin giant.
IT'S
IT'S
L
'\
\ .
1
ALIVE!I
Institute promin ies
new dicoverks,
more prestige
By Michael Grass
Daily Staff Reporter
Spread across different buildings and different campuses
around Ann Arbor, University administrators, faculty and stu-
dents rarely unite to work on one project.
But like the effort to put a man on the moon, the University
Life Science Initiative has brought together the best thinkers,
visionaries, and leaders to launch University research into the
next millennium.
With approval of the $200 million life science proposal by the
University Board of Regents in May, complete with an initial site
plan for a complex of buildings for the Life Science Institite,
Univeristy Vice President for Medical Affairs Gilbert Omenn said
the plan will launch the University into a new phase.
"It will bring the whole University together," Omenn said.
Focusing on interdisciplinary education and research, the LSI
will link undergraduate and graduate students as well as different
disciplines within the Medical School, LSA and the College of
Engineering.
"In two to three years, we should have things up and running.
In five years, we'll hope to have scientific discoveries,"
University President Lee Bollinger said.
The rationale
Although scientists have come to understand the basic elements
of life, researchers are only now coming to discover how these var-
ious pieces of the puzzle of life work together to form the complex
systems of living organisms.
Now that the Human Genome Project - meant to provide a
complete map of human genes - is nearing completion,
researchers will now have a full genetic picture and will be able
make more scientific discoveries in the life sciences.
"There have been tremendous advances in the past decade," said
Gary Krenz, special counsel to Bollinger.
But with the human genome project coming to completion,
Krenz said, "the next obvious thought is: now what? ... a top
research university is going to have to be prepared."
With the LSI in place, research will concentrate on cognitive
neuroscience, genomics and complex genetics along with structur-
al and chemical biology.
Research will focus on the theoretical and empirical ways to
Tate WS and its'new footbridge can knit the,
campus together both academically and
physically.
/
See INSTITUTE, Page 6F
need $95 milin
aoworth ofrenovations
Minors may make
alums 'marketable'
By Michael Grass
Daily Staff Reporter
Although the solid exteriors of Hill
Auditorium and the Rackham Building may
suggest stability and strength, the buildings are
in dire need of around $95 million in repairs.
University President Lee Bollinger said Hill
alone needs $50 million to bring it back to its
former glory; to renovate and preserve
Rackham could cost about $45 million.
But bringing both Hill, built in 1913, and
Rackham, built in 1938, back to their former
olnr c twn of the I nivrcit's crandnct indnL
in need of repairs."
The Hill stage has showcased the leaders,
speakers and thinkers of the century. First
ladies Eleanor Roosevelt and Hillary Rodham
Clinton have spoken there, as have human
rights advocates Martin Luther King, Jr., Jesse
Jackson and the Dalai Lama. Entertainers from
Bob Dylan to Ellen DeGeneres have also held
court on the same stage.
Rackham has been the center of the
University's intellectual community. It's home
to the Horace H. Rackham School of Graduate
Ctudiac nel Prvesas fnafrm for lecture and
By Michael Grass
Daily Staff Reporter 14
Students may want to rethink their
course schedules for fall term as LSA
departments offer a chance at broad-
ened academic horizons and more
"marketable" degrees.
A number of departments have
developed minors since they were
approved at a faculty meeting in
February, and more are expected in
the coming months, said Robert
Owen, associate dean for undergradu-
ate education.
"Obtaining a minor should certain-
lv make stuidents more marketable.
minors - nor are they mandated to
have them at all. Departments that
decide to offer a minor will have to
seek approval from the LSA curricu-
lum committee.
In April, the committee approved
geological sciences minors in earth
science, general and environmental
geology, geochemistry, oceanography,
paleontology and a Residential
College minor in environmental stud-
ies.
"I am aware that several other
departments are in the process-dis-
cussing minors, and I expect that the
curriculum cnmmittee will it addi-