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Live3 65. om
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Internet
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Downright
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radio -- dig1 taz azc fa
aM IIAO it -..is about to be
unleashed upon an unsuspecting
nation. CalZ Z U 63f.cam, it
is nothing less than a plot to
lure an entire generation of
young hearts and minds into an
incredibly hypnotic world of
sonic addiction.
Once they've got us hooked,
the powers-that-be will start
pumping the happy juice into the
'ater supply and using our
filli-4" to mani..-
ulate our brain waves.
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As this confidential document clearly
shows, Live3 65. co -'s Internet radio scheme
just may be the brainchild of the Premasons
(the government behind the government).
FACT1I
Live365.com is many
tirmes more powerful
than regular radio It : 1111
Regular radio plays the same music over and
over and has big blocks of conmer-
cials to break everything up. There's no
way you can listen to it for any extended
period.
Live365.com, on the other hand, has a
ugo dly amount of stations with some-
thing for everyone. Any time, day or night1
Plus, they even let you broadcast your
own radio. With no license and no rules.
Probability of ral
decaU ??? 100OIIE - Sm
Msk
ta$ r
It's Thursday once again, and it's
good to be back.
In case you didn't notice, we here
at the Weekend section took some-
time off last week so that the men's
basketball !eam could he sufficiently
hyped.
But I didn't fret, because I realized
that anyone looking for some
Thursday laughs in the form of my
little column would probably be far
more amused with the state of the
hoops program.
Speaking of taking time off, it just
occurred to me that there won't be a
column next week, either, because
the University will be grinding to a
halt on Wednesday evening so that
all of us can ,rush home and pay
homage to that tastiest of deities, the
Holy Turkey of Thanksgiving.
So before we disperse, I couldn't
pass up this opportunity to talk about
what we as students should be giving
thanks for next week. Like Squanto
did for the Pilgrims, I now offer up
to you a cornucopia of good times
smothered in the cranberry sauce of
humor.
Kinesiology students: I wanna
give thanks for Desmond Howard,
Charles Woodson, Glen Rice and
Chris Webber - the men who made
up my decision to attend Michigan.
And I definite-. . '-
ly want to
thank Nike, }
Puma and
Adidas for
dressing me . .
every day.
English
m a j o r s :-
Throughout the
course of this
holiday, 1 will
attempt to give Chris Kula
thanks to my U
parents for Usung
funding four Ann Arbor
years worth of
thesis statements, thus financially
empowering me to gain an intricately
designed liberal arts education yet an
absolute lack of job prospects.
Engineering majors: Yo, I just
want to give a shout out to my boyz
at Texas Instruments fo' keepin' it
real in the world of personal graphi-
cal interfaces. And I gots ta' give
mad props to my dawg Bill Gates and
the Microsoft crew - all y'all playa
hatas best recognize the crazy practi-
cal advantages of a phat Windows-
based operating system, yo!
N Theatre majors: I would like to
accept this award on behalf of the
Academy, my agents at Talent
International, my divine castmates
- Ben Affleck, darling, you're a
lifesaver - and, of course, my
father, my mother and her new hus-
band.
Music performance majors: I'd
like to thank the kind soul who slid
the plate of turkey underneath my
practice room door. Sometimes,
when I get into the fourth movement
of a new piece, I lose track of the
month.
Philosophy majors: Ah, but to
whom are we giving thanks? And
what is our motivation for doing so?
0 Business majors: I'd like to
thank the dollar, the yen, the deutch-
mark and the pound for making my
life so deeply fulfilling.
Law school students: I will
freaking nail your ass to the wall. Do
you understand me? I will haul you
into that court and chew you up until
there is nothing left but a small pile
of spittle. No, Mom, stay out of it:
This is between me and Grandma.
Political science majors: To the
best of my recollection, my staff
CHARITY
Continued from Page 31B
Austin Powers movies, yet the style
was originally Fosse's and not Mike
Myers'.
Although this is not his first attempt
at directing, this is Jackson's first
chance at directing a musical on such a
large scale. Currently a senior in the
School of Music, Jackson has also
worked on Basement Arts productions
as well as playing the narrator in a
University production of "Into the
Woods." On making the move from
members and I have conferred and
we have decided I will give thanks
for the good fortune in my life and
depending on the public's reaction.
will hope for continued prosperity.
RC students: I give thanks foi
the opportunity to live and grow in
an accepting, nurturing academic
environment. That and studded dog
collars.
* Anthropology majors: Rather
than make a biased statement, I
would like to study an isolated tribe
of Pygmies in the African jungles in
order to determine the root founda-
tion of what we consider "giving
thanks."
Art and design majors: I believe
our turkey should exist solely in the
paradigm of turkey, without the bur-
den of any implicit meaning to
oppress it.
Architecture majors: I want to
give thanks for load-bearing walls -
sweet, luscious load-bearing walls.
Religion majors: I would like to
thank George Burns for the "Oh God,
You Devil" movies.
* Sociology majors: I'd like to
give thanks to my family, for family
is the basic building block of all
society.
actor to director, Jackson commented,
"I've always wanted to be on the other
side of the table, and I've gotten to
learn so much.
"It's difficult. It's a whole different
animal, a musical is, incorporating and
collaborating with a musical director
and choreographer. But it makes you
realize how special every person is in
theatre because every person is so
important to make the whole thing
work."
For Adair, the opportunity to play
Charity Valentine is very exciting.
Although very busy academically and
r
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READ MHDAILY ONLINEL.
WWW.MICHIGANDAILY.COM
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0
Ti again, comrades.
*****3 si you alt n the aldelina
i e the zrwdo revolution wegeg??
Stand up for AmericeS I I
Give those z vermin a piece of
your mind at www.liv365.coml
Be sure to stuff cotton in your ears
(And DON5T look directly at the
onitor).
FACIT 2
6ive365.cam is to broad-
casters and listeners alike.
mwm, can you think of any other
place where everything is free?
Say, Russia for examplelill
FACT3
***Live365.com begins with the
word live and live spelled
backwards is ovilIII
LIVE E\L
That's right, pure evil 365 days
a year. And don't even get us
started on the "co w part.
Can you say Audio Ab minationli
U gn for Mrnerica
your.world.tour/New York.London.Sydney
If there ever was a time to clean out your ears, this is
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f i rSt[L0oo-k.CO-m
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Paid for by the citizens against live3