4A - The Michigan Daily - Monday, November 1, 1999

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Ask Dr

Scott,

your expert on love and relationships *

420 Maynard Street
Ann Arbor, MI 48109
daily.letters@umich.edu
Edited and managed by
students at the
University of Michigan

HEATHER KAMIINS
Editor in Chief
JEFFREY KOSSEFF
DAVID WALLACE
Editorial Page Editors

I do not like to brag, but I am something
of an expert on the topics of love, sex
and romance. This is because, unlike the
average person. I have both Cinemax AND
Showtime. Women know this about me and

Unless otherwise noted, unsigned editorials reflect the opinion of the majority of the
Daily's editorial board. All other articles, letters and cartoons do not necessarily reflect
the opinion of The Michigan Daily.

are usually very
intimidated. In fact,
most of them are so
intimidated by my
mere presence that
they will not even
talk to me. Therefore,
I feel that I am very
well-qualified to
counsel anyone and
everyone in matters
of the heart.
People who know
me are usually
inclined to ask my
advice -kind of like
Greeks casting them-
selves before the
Oracle. Because

Sagainst science
Medical animal testing is necessary

Scott
Hunter
Through
the Soul

am not romantic enough. I really don't
know anything about flowers, candy or
poetry. How can I possibly be the suave
fantastic man that she wants? Andy -
Ann Arbor, MI~
Dear Andy - Forget all that nonsense
about flowers and incense: Those things
are for amateurs. The fastest way to a
woman's heart is through her stomach.
Though it's kind of cliche, nothing gets
those pheromones flowing like a nice
fancy dinner. I suggest that you make
reservations at a nice restaurant, get an
excellent table and order a great meal.
And, hey, if you think she's really special,
go on and Super Size it! Your woman is
guaranteed to melt.
Dear Dr. Scott - I am deeply in love
with a younger woman. I am worried
about what people will say. Is this nor-
mal? - Daniel Granger, Grosse Pointe,
MI
Dear Daniel - Most love experts would
call this abnormal. Seek help.
Dear Dr. Scott - My wife is really
turned off by my large collection of adult
magazines. She wants me to throw them
out or burn them, but I think she's being
unreasonable. What should I do? -
Clarence Thomas, Washington, D.C.
Dear Clarence - If you love her, you
must get rid of the magazines. In fact, let
me read to you a line from an e-mail I
received a while back:
"Dear Scott - As a valued customer of
www.love-for-the-lonely.com, any subse-
quent purchases will come with a limited
90-day warranty on parts, labor and ..."
Wait a second! That's the wrong e-mail.
I meant to read this one: "Dear Dr. Scott
- ... men need to realize that their wives
don't like to have them fantasizing about
other people ..." - Hillary Clinton (1994).

And that is basically the story. You have to
choose: Your wife or your magazines!
Dear Dr. Scott - I miss my wife How
can I console myself? - Clarence
Thomas, Washington, D.C.
Dear Clarence - How about doing some
reading?
Dear Dr. Scott - After over a decade
of marriage, I have this sinking feeling
that my wife does not trust me. I don't
understand why. What can I do? - Bill
Clinton, Washington, DC
Dear Bill - Good question: Trust is
essential to any healthy relationship.
Therefore, you must find ways to convince
your wife that you love her and only her.
Personally, I have found that an easy yet
effective way to accomplish this is to
AVOID SLEEPING WITH OTHER
WOMEN.
Dear Dr. Scott - I love you and I
would like to spend the rest of my life
with you. - Tyra Banks, Los Angeles,
CA
Dear Tyra - How many times do I have
to tell you that it's over between us?!? I
have already found someone new that I like
better than you. I know it's hard getting
over me, but you'll just have to go on liv-
ing.
Dear Dr. Scott - I recently broke up
with my girlfriend. But now I am des-
perately attracted to her best friend. If I
pursue this friend, I am sure that I will
cause my ex tremendous emotional tor-
ment. So, my question is: What kind of
flowers would this woman like? -
Edward, West Bloomfield, MI
Dear Edward - I'm glad you asked.
Love experts tend disagree on this point,
but I think roses are usually the way to go.
- Scott Hunter can be reached over
e-mail at sehunter@umich.edu.
TE NTAT1 \WEV .PANING

A group against the use of animals for
medical testing sent threatening letters
to several campus research labs across the
country, including the University, last week.
The FBI has yet to determine if the group
taking credit is affiliated with the interna-
tionally notorious Animal Liberation Front.
This organization uses illegal and violent
means to "save" animals from what they
deem cruel testing.
Animal testing has been used for cen-
turies to test procedures and medicine that
could save human lives. Anyone willing to
risk or take a single human life for the
sake of animals has a distorted sense of
priorities.
Using animals to save human lives was
once as simple as sending a bird into a mine
to determine if there was enough air to
breath, but now includes the searches to
cure cancer, AIDS and various other disor-
ders and diseases that have long eluded doc-
tors. While the Daily does not approve of
animals used in cosmetic testing, it recog-
nizes the importance of animals in medical
research. Cosmetic research on animals is
frivolous thanks to new technologies that
allow all cosmetic research to be conducted
without harming animals.
Animal research must be well-document-
ed, but it already is at the University and at
many institutions nationwide. Medical
research has led to such breakthroughs as
vaccines and antibiotics, using insulin to
treat diabetes and countless advances in
leukemia treatment. Animal testing also can
be recognized for producing such medical
technologies as the heart-lung machine,
blood transfusions and kidney dialysis.

"If we were not to make these trials on
animals, we would have to make them on
humans instead - or else give up the hope
of devising new drugs and new treatments,"
philosophy Prof. Carl Cohen said.
While the ALF is associated with violent
means of rescuing animals, any method of
freeing medical research animals risks
human lives. Current research could be the
cure for a disease that plagues millions of
people - such as cancer. Losing such data
could lead to the unnecessary suffering of
countless humans by allowing patients to die
while a cure may already have been at hand.
Activists against animal testing will
argue for animal rights, Cohen said.
"The justification commonly used for
the refusal to use animals - that it is an
invasion of their rights - is a profound
philosophical mistake," he said. "It is a mis-
application of the concept of right."
The idea of animals having the same
rights as humans is absurd, as the
Constitution begins, "We the People."
While lobbying for better treatment of ani-
mals is a worthy cause, giving- them the
same rights as humans would ruin the coun-
try. How long ago would Social Security
have dried up if Fido's paw was in the pot
along with the rest of the country?
Not only is medical research on animals
justified, but it is also necessary. Yes, saving
animals is a warm and fuzzy thought. But at
what price? There is a distinct line between
risking research that may one day save your
life and adopting a pet. Those who cannot
recognize the difference need to take a close
look at human suffering before they threaten
the research that will one day eliminate it.

Sweetest Day has just passed and the
romantically charged night of New Year's
Eve is just around the corner, my telephone
has been ringing off-the-hook with people
baffled by the dynamics of dating in the
'90s. And since 1, too, have dated in the
'90s (I think it was 1991 to be exact), I am
able to dole out the brilliant advice that
they need.
So, I thought to myself, "Self, there are
probably other people out there going
through these same things. Maybe you
should share your advice with the entire
world." And that is why today marks the
printing of my very first advice column on
love, sex and romance: Ask Dr. Scott. (You
may laugh now, but don't try to kick it with
me when I get syndicated).
Dear Scott -- My girlfriend says that I


THOMAS KULJURGIS
ALLOWEE1 E O'4E taf

Selective education
Ex-drug users should receive financial aid

Increased emphasis placed on the
importance of attaining a higher edu-
cation is constantly contradicted with
obstacles, be it on the basis of race, gen-
der, or specific qualifications. This time,
the targets are past drug offenders.
Last Thursday, the U.S. Department of
Education passed a regulation that will
prohibit students who had been convicted
of drug-related crimes from receiving
financial aid for college. Taking effect
July 1, convicted students will be ineligi-
ble to receive such awards as Pell Grants
and student loans depending on the sever-
ity and number of offenses.
One conviction of drug possession will
hinder a student's receipt of financial aid
for one year. Two convictions will prevent
assistance for two years and a third count
disqualifies the student indefinitely. One
conviction of drug dealing will obstruct a
student's eligibility for financial aid for
two years. More than two convictions will
indefinitely deny assistance.
Qualification for financial assistance
will be reinstated if the student partici-
pates in and completes a rehabilitation
program.
But the law provides that even the pos-
session of marijuana can disqualify a stu-
dent from receiving aid, and many health
professionals do not think physical mari-
juana addiction is possible, essentially
making the policy useless.
Such a regulation is well on its way to
deterring many students from receiving
higher education.
Students are expected to report their

Department of Education. Students
caught misrepresenting information on
financial aid forms will face felony
charges.
Many students formerly convicted of
drug possession or dealing turn their lives
around by applying for financial aid to
attend college. Such a law will frighten
and deter them from applying for finan-
cial assistance, which ultimately could
thwart them from applying to college
altogether.
In addition, this bill directly affects the
socially and economically disadvantaged.
Every drug user is not poor, but people
without adequate funds to pay for a college
education will suffer more than others.
While curbing the continuously rising
use of drugs among teenagers is impor-
tant, scare tactics notoriously result in
failure. Students will be deterred from the
college application process, rather than
be inspired to turn over a new leaf.
Chances are, their submission of an appli-
cation is the first step in changing their
lives.
Penalizing them for a possibly minor
drug conviction from a few years before
is a ludicrous method of drug reform, not
to mention unfair. Whatever happened to
the doctrine of learning from mistakes?
This bill has many glitches. Strong
oppositions exist not only among stu-
dents, but also police officials and many
committee members of the Department of
Education. This rule would not only hurt
prospective college students who made a
mistake a few years ago, but it will pre-

AMA opposes
physician-assisted
suicide
TO THE DAILY:
The Oct. 27 editorial entitled "Freedom
from Pain" misrepresented the policy of the
American Medical Association regarding
assisted suicide. The editorial stated the AMA
"supports assisted suicides."
In fact, according to AMA policy H-
270.965 entitled "Physician-Assisted Suicide",
the AMA" strongly opposes any bill to legalize
physician assisted suicide or euthanasia, as
these practices are fundamentally inconsistent
with the physician's role as healer:'
In addition, the editorial correctly, but
incompletely, quoted an AMA policy (H-
140.966 Decisions Near the End of Life)
which states that "Physicians havedan obliga-
tion to relieve pain and suffering and to pro-
mote the dignity and autonomy of dying
patients in their care. This includes providing
effective palliative treatment even though it
may foreseeably hasten death.
More research must be pursued, examining
the degree to which palliative care reduces the
requests for euthanasia or assisted suicide" As
the complete quotation shows, the AMA rec-
ognizes a distinction between hastening death
as a consequence of palliative treatment versus
euthanasia or assisted suicide.
The goal of palliative treatment is to relieve
pain, while the goal of active euthanasia or
assisted suicide is to end the life of the patient.
Therefore, the AMA supports the dignity
of patients and the relief of their pain and suf-
fering, but opposes euthanasia and assisted
suicide. The Daily should be more responsible
when invoking respected organizations to sup-
port its editorial opinions.
ELIZABETH MCKENNA
UNIVERSITY STAFF
Hazing doesn't
build character
TO THE DAILY:
Branden Sanz would have you believe that
the only way to ensure sufficient character in
organization members is to beat it into them
("To haze or not to haze? That is the question,"
10/29/99). Sanz would have you believe that
treating others with respect is weak.
Here is a novel thought: If you want strong
character in your organization's members,
recruit people with strong character. If you feel
you must beat character into your new mem-
bers, then you will recruit only the weakest. It
is that simple.
Let's disabuse ourselves of another
thought: Hazing does not build organizational
unity and trust. Say I join an organization and
go through several types of cruelty along the
way. When I become a full member, am I
going to suddenly trust the people who have
been hazing me? Am I going to suddenly feel
a common bond? No. Just as Sanz did, I'm
going to take out my anger on the next new

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bers. (Let me tell you, positive can be quite
challenging.)
There is no good product that comes from
hazing. Nothing about being hazed makes you
a stronger person, a greater leader or a person
of character. Rather, you are marked as one
who was weak enough to take crappy treat-
ment and stick around for more. It takes more
strength to leave a hazing situation than to stay.
MALINDA MATNEY
RACKHAM STUDENT
Reorganization will
not hurt education
To THE DAILY:
In the Daily's editorial, "Slash no more,"
(10/28/99) it wrote, "Engler has never been a
friend to education, and students at the
University know this better than most:"
First of all, it gives little evidence to sup-
port this ridiculous statement. The Daily criti-
cizes Engler for transferring adult education to
the Department of Career Development.
Doesn't the Daily think that career devel-
opment and adult education are linked? The
Daily criticizes Engler for transferring author-
ity of state assessment tests to the Department
of Treasury.
Students who pass many of these assess-
ment tests are granted money for college by the
state of Michigan, in a program Engler started.
But the Daily would never go out of its way
to give him any credit for that. Because of this
new program, there is now a strong relation
between state assessment tests and the
Department of Treasury. Therefore, Engler is
not eliminating any programs. He is specializ-
ing them so they can become more efficient.
The Daily even wrote, "no jobs are elimi-
nated - only transferred." Therefore, your
editorial is one of ignorance. Even though the
Michigan Department of Education has gone
from 2,058 employees in 1989 to 417 today,
has anybody lost his or her job over it?
There are no statistics of inefficiency or
lower test scores given in the Daily's editorial
to prove its ridiculous statements. Therefore, I
see this editorial of yours as nothing more than
an uninformed attack on Engler and his efforts
to make education in this state more efficient.

give accounts of abuse," 10/26/99). I
would like to thank Kerry Larkey and
Derek Steele for speaking so candidly*
about their experiences (or lack thereof)
with domestic violence and sexual
assault.
I am writing in response to Larkey's
remarks, which were very acute.
She said that she did not hear much
about domestic violence, although she
had friends who had been assaulted by
strangers.
Unfortunately, Larkey probably does
does know someone who has been abused
by a friend or intimate partner - but she *
doesn't know about it.
All of us know someone who is a sur-
vivor of sexualized violence, although the
survivor may not disclose it to us.
One week before this articleappeared,
there was a lecture on campus by a
woman named Andrea Cooper, whose
daughter, Kristen, committed suicide
after being sexually assaulted.
Kristen told only a few friends about
the assault, and did not receive the sup-
port from that she needed to survive.
Andrea's case is tragic, but not unusu-
al. Survivors of acquaintance rape and
assaults (especially sexual assaults) in
intimate relationships may be hesitant to
tell friends, family and coworkers about
the assault.
There are many reasons why survivors
may not come forward. They may feel too
ashamed, betrayed or afraid to come for-
ward.
They may have experienced firsthand
the way family, friends and professionals
can mistreat survivors and blame them for
the assault. They may have witnessed these
hostile responses to other survivors (in
Florida, for example) and decide not to take
the risk. And on an individual level, even
our closest friends and family may decide
not to disclose a sexual assault to us
because of the subtle cues that we send -
perhaps we make victim-blaming state-
ments, or sport misogynist T-shirts.
Everyone needs to know how to respond
to someone who discloses that they have
been assaulted, or how to help friends who
may be involved in abusive relationships.
SAPAC offers workshops and informational
brochures on how to respond to these situa-

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