4 - The Michigan Daily - Wednesday, November 10, 1999 ~Iie iIligan DigGQ Heart-shaped tuis, red worm floss and allergies to bullets 0 420 Maynard Street Ann Arbor, MI 48109 daily. letters@umich.edu Edited and managed by students at the University of Michigan HEAiiER KAMINS Editor in Chief JE FF IRLX KOSSFF DAi; )WA'tXLLACE Editorial Page Editors Last week was all about complainers. We all know at least one or two rotten apples that ruin even the sweetest of pies. Those complainers can really sink a good time. This week, let's talk about the other side of the coin. We're going to talk about making the best of a bad situa- tion. Unless otherwise noted, unsigned editorials reflect the opinion of dhe majority /ofthe Dailv.'s editorial board. All other articles, letters and cartoons do no! necessarily reflect the opinion of The Michigan Daily. Two years ago, l spent the summer with an archaeologi- cal team working in Israel. The dig site was at a state beach and for some reason, the local tourists weren't the cleanest bunch. Let me paint Parents' weekend has room for improvement Mike Lopez F amilies from around the globe recently united on the University campus for the annual parents' weekend festivities. Parents' weekend provides a great opportunity for students to merge their academic world with their home life; but rather than impose costs on visi- tors, the University should improve pro- gram planning. Currently, families feel obligated to participate in the set sched- ule the Student Alumni Council provides. By introducing more options for the weekend, more time remains allotted for families to catch up while reducing costs and crowding. The Alumni Association sends out lit- erature concerning parents' weekend prior to the fall semester so families can prepare for visitation. Football tickets can be purchased on reserve through mail for a reasonable price of $30, but upon arrival the expenses keep coming. Lack of alternatives prompt parents to purchase a "welcome kit" containing a disposable camera, a T-shirt and campus maps. When families pick up the tickets and kit novel- ties they see people signing up for cam- pus events they feel are necessary to com- plete the weekend. Each event like brunch, speakers, comedic and musical entertainment is a great idea and well thought out, but entail more spending and are often crowded. Since many find traveling to the University is expensive for many, enrich- ing the weekend with savings rather than expenditures makes a difference. The University could work with local businesses provide a booklet of coupons within the existing welcome kit. Coupons for different Ann Arbor restaurants and 'Wrong. Students should not Fires burn on every corner Frenzied crowds hurl couches into the middle of trashed intersections. Police eventual- ly arrest more than a hundred student on counts related to rioting at Michigan State University last March. Though all charged in the incident must deal with possible legal repercussions, some state officials feel convicted students should incur greater punishment. All convicted may face a state law barring them from within 2,500 feet of any, public university or college in Michigan for one to two years - pro- hibiting them from public higher educa- tion. If the House passes this bill, it ensures an unfair and counterproductive punishment for rioters. Supporters presented the bill to the state Senate in May, and the Senate sub- sequently passed the bill. The bill then went to the House Criminal Law and Corrections Committee, which passed the bill to the full House this past Tuesday. Sen. Loren Bennet (R-Canton) originally proposed the bill after the MSU riot on March 26 to create a "mea- sure of response" to the riotous behavior. If signed into law, it would take effect on Mar. 1, 2000. Unfortunately, only six senators voted against the bill. In the house, several rep- resentatives including state Reps. Laura Baird (D-Okemos) and Liz Brater (D- Ann Arbor) agree the bill focuses on the wrong issues and will not solve the prob- lem at hand.y A17----------- 'f stores introduce visitors to what is avail- able on campus and beyond. This way, students can better select where to spend time and not feel compelled to join in all of the registered festivities. Coupons advertise business and stimu- late the local economy as parents flood the campus. Ann Arbor and Detroit con- tain many alternatives for entertainment - visitors simply need information such as calendar events and locations. Since students primarily attend the University to receive an education, the University should promote academically- centered parents' weekend activities. In addition to browsing through Ann Arbor's shops and dining in restaurants, many parents would probably want to experi- ence the learning aspects of their child's college life. Professors often encourage parents to sit in on lectures and become cognizant of their children's intellectual environment. The University Museum of Art and the Museum of Natural History are located directly on campus; these cost-free build- ings filled with artwork and artifacts can attract visitors. Each year the Alumni Association sets up a different Professor as a speaker who addresses topics of interest to both University students and parents. The Association elects engaging speakers as an educational alternative to costly enter- tainment. By building up the recurring program, families will no longer feel required to spend money unnecessarily. With more options both entertaining and enlighten- ing, parents' weekend can become a time to remember. be denied education a picture. tur Imagine that you've been working under the hot, Palestinian sun all day. Having drunk two liters of water in the past two hours. you re heading to the public restroom for some quiet release. As you walk in, you go to the first stall. The toilet is jam packed full of turd. Who didn't flush? You go to the next one. Whoa! How did it get splat- tered all over the bowl like that? Who in the world uses this place? Gross. Finally, you check the third stall. The bowl is jam packed, too. You expect that, but you don't expect the nicely deposited load of crap sitting on the. ground. Why would somebody ever crap on the ground'? I don't know. Maybe the bowl was so full that they had to. I don't know why they did it. I only wish that they had done it with a little more class. There is no reason for a really bad situation to be so bad. There is always a way to lighten it up. If those guys had to take dumps on the ground, the least they could have done was take a dump in the shape of a heart. That would show some class. If some poor guy is going to have to clean up that mess, you ought to at least put a smile on his face. If we had to see those stool samples day after day, we might as well have gotten a good laugh out of it. As responsible individuals, we have a duty to always face life with a smile. Granted, sometimes things aren't going to pan out the way we want, but we can cer- tainly do a better job at making the best of what we got. My wonderful girlfriend has some nice folks. Her father is pretty sharp. Recently, he taught me how to stop a potential fight with the better half. When he gets into an argument with his wife, he simply asks her a couple of ques- tions. "Who's the smart one here? Who picked who'?" It is obviously a loaded question. If she is the smart one, then you are a wonderful man and she's got no business fighting with you. If he is the smart one, then she is a wonderful woman and you are obvi- ously right. She still has no business fighting with you. Boy does this line work. Whenever I use it on my wonderful woman, she shakes her head at me know- ing that I've taken all her ammo. All she can do is crack a reluctant smile. Why fight when you can laugh? Indeed we should all be like the guy who got shot during a robbery. When the paramedics wheeled him into the emer- gency room, doctors and nurses descend- ed upon him. He noticed the negative atti- tude toward his condition and decided to do something about it. When a nurse asked him if he was allergic to anything, he shouted, "Yes!" He paused and added, "Bullets!" That's making the best out of a bad situation. One time, I was stuck in an elevator with 23 other people. It was a normal ele- vator. One of those that does NOT hold 23 people - comfortably. As we stood, packed like sardines, a couple of wise guys decided to go for some laughs. "Hey Beavis, this is cool." "Don't touch me there!" "Jane, will you marry me?" We weren't in there long, but the jokes sure helped make our situation a little more bearable. Another story I like to tell is the one about Chilchota, Mexico. A few years back, our family drove down to central Mexico to visit relatives. One of my great aunts had a large water basin. There hap- pened to be quite a large number of tiny red worms floating around in this water basin. This water was used for washing, drinking and cooking. Needless to say, none of us kids ate anything, but my father, mother, aunt and uncle did. After eating, Pop decided to make us kids laugh at the gross situation. He began to look at his teeth in the rear view mirror and asked us if we saw any red worms. I think one of us did. There are a good many ways you can make a bad situation better. Life can even be breathed into the worst of situations. At my funeral, I don't want to see a bunch of people crying. We should all be like the guy who tells St. Peter that what he wants people to say about him at his funeral is, "Look! He's moving!" The people who do that will be my true friends. They'll know that I'll be right there laughing with them. -- Mike Lopez can be reached via e-mail at manatlarge(a.umich.edu. THOMAS KULJURGIS TENTATf IEL S-PEARINUC rioting, and perhaps a deserved punish- ment, but we feel the bill's philosophy stems from a completely backward asser- tion. Inherently, a person pursuing higher education desires to become a productive citizen. Surely a connection lies between high- er levels of education and decreased rates of violence and illegal activity. Is pro- hibiting someone with a rioting convic- tion from attending a college - or even setting foot on campus - solving or helping the problem? Absolutely not. The state should not forbid anyone from an education; this contradicts the justice system's function as a correctional institution. This bill would deny convicted students the oppor- tunity to begin straightening out their lives for perhaps two years. The convicted rioter would face two punishments for the same crime: proba- tion or even jail time followed by the denial of public higher education. In a democracy, we call this double jeopardy. The House should kill the bill. Instead of negatively linking education to legal punishment, current laws suffice to address each case. The only thing worse than a law deny- ing education is to lump it on top of another punishment for the same crime. This aspect is even more unreasonable. Representatives must not let this mis- directed bill pass because it takes away one of a person's primary ways to better themselves. By no means should the state tolT - -. 4r e , rimri t -mit n ;lilah r P4ii Disorder statistics are manipulated To THE DAILY: Very interesting, 80 percent of all women have self-image issues and 18 per- cent of all women have an eating disorder. That's what SAPAC tells you. What they don't tell you, however, is how many boys have eating disorders and self-image issues, according to the same conditions. If chowing down on Ruffles while studying for a test is an eating disorder, and going to the gym every day to lose weight is self-image issues, then we're guilty too. If only having two meals a day is an eating disorder, asktyour local boy if he manages to catch breakfast while sleeping in through all of his morning classes. If wanting to look slim is a self image issue, then ask Nike why they're using athletes as role models to oppress young boys. Anyone can manipulate statistics. It takes a villain to blame an entire gender for them. JESSE MILLER LSA SOPHOMORE Engler improved state education TO THE DAILY: Again, the Daily is mounting another uninformed blind attack on Gov. John Engler. The editorial "Held Back" (11/899) criticizes Engler for his education and prison reform. However, like most editorials of the Daily, it has very few statistics or facts to support its so-called argument. Well. I have a few statistics for you. Go to http:,'Jwww. migov state. mi. us/gov/ and click on the "Michigan is #1" icon. You will see on this web page that student MEAP test scores are at record highs. You will also see that Michigan is first in the United States in school reform, improving math test scores, and state support for public schools, just to name a few. Also, the state of Michigan spends more on education than every other budget area com- bined. Therefore, maybe the "Engler's priori- ties are skewed" statement in the Daily's edi- torial is nothing more than a skewed opinion. Is the University hurting because its funding increase is not as large as it has been in previ- ous years? The editorial does not give any proof of this. As soon as you can prove that the increased funding to the University from the state government is not enough, then you will have something to write about. According to this Website, the state oft Michigan has seen a 22 percent reduction in crime since 1991. And the numbers of mur- ders and rapes are the lowest in 30 years. Can you blame Engler for making sure that our prisons do not become revolving doors? If laws are to be tougher on criminals, more pris- ons are needed. I suggest the Daily should do a little more research before it writes another negative editorial about our Governor. PATRICK SLOAN LSA JUNIOR ,. _ ; {t\ Y - i1~' N ... hT v1YN6VftALL OFAY aAS5S S'~, j "Animal life not as important as human life," there is another way of making his point. One might think that what is bad in itself is pain, and that, consequently, we have a moral oblig- ation to reduce the overall amount of pain in the world. Plausibly animals feel pain: after all, they exhibit types of behavior which, in humans, are explained by the person's feeling pain. Moreover, unit for unit, animal pain is no less pain than human pain. It follows, then, that we have a moral obligation to eliminate not only as much human pain as possible, but as much animal pain as well. So, if an action causes more pain in an animal than it prevents in a human, then that action must not be performed. In particu- lar, if some form of scientific testing on ani- mals causes more pain in the animals being experimented upon than it prevents in humans, then it is morally unjustifiable. (Notice that I have made this point without taking a stand as to which sort of life, human or animal, is more valuable. It isn't obvious to me that a claim of that sort even makes sense.) STEPHEN MARTIN PHILOSOPHY PROFESSOR Women need to fight social messages TO THE DAILY: I would like to take this opportunity to respond to Michelle Bolek's viewpoint, "T- shirts? If only eating disorders were that sim- ple" (11/3/99). Now, first of all, let me state that I am not an advocate of the shirts in ques- tion. However, I do feel that this whole issue has been turned into one big mass of complete B.S. Everyone is so quick to point the finger at t-shirts, or males or society. One question that I have with Bolek's arti- cle is that, if "up to 80 percent" of women exhibit some sort of eating disorder, why is America the most overweight nation in the world? She goes on to say that women are bombarded by 400-600 "thin" messages a day via TV, magazines, etc. Having made this assumption, how can she later state that "This T-shirt is obviously not going to cause' some- one to have an eating disorder." Following her previous line of thought one would think that the T-shirts were a central we know that one should show compassion towards women, their problems, and issues that they feel strongly about (even if you don't agree with them). Women, from what I have read and heard, you are at the heart of the eat- ing disorder question. While men, society, TV, whatever may be partly responsible it's time to be the well-educated and responsible individu- als that you are and take charge of the problem. So all you girls who are surviving on overpriced coffee and Parliament Lights, detach that cell phone from your ear and lis- ten up. Your party pants and tank tops don't have to be kids-sized clothing. Put some meat on your bones and stop worrying about what your sorority sister or Abercrombie-laden boyfriend will think of you if you don't look like a famine victim. Take care of yourselves and encourage your friends to do likewise. ANDY ZIMMER LSA JUNIOR KKK has right to demonstrate TO THE DAILY: Unfortunately, Pete Donahoo ("Ann Arbor Should not work to stop KKK from gathering," 11/9/99) altogether missed the point of the editorial to which he referred ("After the trials" 11/6/99) regarding the KKK's right to demonstrate in Ann Arbor. Nowhere in the afore-mentioned editorial did the Daily encourage the government to take away civil rights from anyone, however heinous their beliefs! Instead, the Daily argued that citizens, not those in power politically, should take it upon themselves to show the KKK that they are unwelcome. How do we do this? We cannot and will not stop the KKK by inciting a violence dri- ven war against them - this only fuels their internal desire to fight. Let us not give them a cause. Instead, we must indirectly illustrate to them our disinterest in their protests and mes- sage - through tolerance rallies and more importantly through a cold shoulder. Donahoo, please do not take part in the current growing trend of confusing "tak- ing away any person or group's civil rinhtc "and ;hnAwng thee csme group of 0 f 'IN TE ARXALSPSE RS CoM 4! J g(: -mAla OUSY (A$? " 1T4IwK Cam'ALL THE 5:6,NS! THE uIoNs ARE waIN i U( ! Dr-' - ~M r4O vt N\c.Ep. 41