Suck my 'Killer's Kiss' The Michigan Theater concludes its seme1erc Stanley Kubrick screenings with what most consider his first fe)- ture film, the 67-minure noir "Killer's Kiss." Starts at 7 pam. michigandaily.com /arts ARTS TUESDAY APRIL 11, 2000 Funny nuances 'Return' comedy to romance flick 'Rumble' takes a . tumble in theaters By Jeff Druchniak Weekend, Etc. Editor It's perhaps easier to make a bad romantic comedy than any other genre of films. So those interested in taking "Return to Me" out on a date should be forewarned before making a move for second base - it's any- thing but easy. Everyone else should be pleasant- ly surprised by the clever and pol- ished way this unassuming little movie unfolds, especially if they brought a real, live date of their own. Return to Me Grade: B At Quality 16 and Showcase The movie's advance buzz has been so scarce, it's almost in the negative col- umn. This leads one to feel resigned that Bonnie Hunt is about to make the momentous leap from America's most underappreciated comedic actress underappreciated about her former infirmity and sub- sequent surgery, because it never fails to change their perception of her - usually to condescension. So she wears high-cut necklines or scarves to hide the scar on her ster- num and stays within the protective orbit of her boisterous, happy-go- lucky extended family. She doesn't even work up the nerve to send an anonymous thank-you note to the family of her organ donor for over a year. Meanwhile, Grace waits tables in her Irish grandfather's Italian restau- rant (the kind of place where the owner will stand you to a pint after hours and that will never exist in this lifetime, especially in Chicago). Meanwhile. Bob, a successful build- ing contractor, works to fulfill his late wife's dream by building a new. lavish home for her beloved apes and monkeys at the zoo for which she worked and fundraised. Of course these two will manage to meet, and of course their buddin romance will encounter deep emotional complications, but Hunt keeps her cast in a fictional world of such meticulously pleasant spirits, it's difficult to keep the cliches in mind long enough to get annoyed. Hunt actually employs not one, but two overly cute animals .(Mel, the bulky dog of indeterminate ancestry and Sidney, the sensitive gorilla), without becoming treacly or belabor- ing the point. The point is even worth making on its own dramatic merits: Bob has to resist withdrawing into his fur-covered and less loquacious fam- ily no less than Grace does with her human one. David Duchovny, it is true. will never be a leading man of megawatt voltage. He's as dead behind the eves as ever here, but Hunt directs and "X-Files" agent David Duchovny trades in his badge for some heart:1 Wilson's, but Minnie Driver's in "Return To Me." By David Victor Daily Arts Writer There was this weird guy in my hall last year, every Thursday night, or whenever that godforsaken show was on, he would watch "WCW Nitro" and try to convince us wrestling was worth watching. He wore those stupid T-shirts and every- thing. I wouldn't be surprised if this guy, and others like him, would appreciate "Ready to Rumble." He was since driven out of our hall by force, but that random act of kind- ness did not stop "Rumble" from Courtesy of MGM no not Nancy being made. This Ready to Rumble Grade: D- At Quality 16 and Showcase film exemplifies everything I hate about profes- sional wrestling in all its crass- ness, showman- ship, and ov'rall lameness. Don't get me wrong, wrestlers command a cer- tain amount of respect for their hillbilly-enter- taining antics; AIIst watch "Beyond the to America's most comedic writer-director. Hunt, who co-wrote her directing debut, is disarmingly in command of the entire experience for a rookie. The setup is simple: On the same night that the blissful marriage of Bob Rueland (David Duchovny) is ended by his wife's death in a car wreck, Grace Briggs (Minnie Driver) receives the heart transplant that saves her life and allows her for the first time to live what others might consider a "normal" lifestyle. Except that Grace feels many things, but never normal, about it. She's reluctant for others to find out writes for his character so smoothly, the audience's sympathies transcend the customarv flatness of Duchovnv's sensitive-wiseass persona. With the more difficult role of the lifelong shrinking violet overcoming her insecurities, Driver never becomes grating, turning in some of her more relentlessly charmin- work. The rest of her wacky family is simi- larly excellent, especially Carroll O'( onnor and Robert Loggia's odd- couple act as Grace's grandfather and his head chef/Italian brother-in-law, respectively. These two old pros not only have more chemistry than any other couple in this movie, they sur- pass all the couples in all the Hollywood romantic comedies in at least the past year. Hunt herself, as Grace's sensibly zany cousin, and James Belushi as her' fireman husband (essentially playing Homer Simpson with a propensity to do somersaults), are as game and agreeable as the rest of the cast. even while shepherding around a seemingly endless brood of rugrats whom, thankfully, the movie never obliges us to get to know. Hunt fills the movie with smart nuances and small twists on the for- mula, from goony and laughter- inducing to genuinely touching. This goes for the leading roles - witness Grace's butterflies at racing the neighborhood kids on a bike, having only been able to ride one for a few months. Or when Mel the dog declines to stop waiting for the lady of the house to come home - on the first night that Bob knows she won't be coming home anymore - until Bob, strung, out with grief, throws in the towel and sits down on the floor to wait with Mel. But Hunt's bag of tricks extends to the smallest parts which might be throwaways in other movies, like ex- Father Rudy, the former priest attempting to become a swinging sin- gle. There are even two, count 'em. two Chicago Cubs jokes for fans of the luckless baseball team. Throwx in a tastefully neato soundtrack anchored by the Dean Martin title tune, and a couple of scenes of Italian cinematography, and "Return to Me" might be the rare i'omantic comedy worth returning to. I SCOREKEEPES Mat," a behind-the-scenes profes- sional 'wrestling documentary. However, unless you are brainless (or a bona fide frat boy), I hope to high heaven you will find "Rumble" a waste of your hard-earned pennies. "Rumble" is the heart-warming story of two toilet cleaners (David Arquette and Scott Caan) who love wrestling. How's that for poetic jus- tice? Their flabby wrestler idol, known as The King (Oliver Platt), has lost his championship rank and the two fans become determined to bring him back to the ring. What fol- lows is a mindless mess of angry wrestlers (including real-life grap- plers Goldberg and Diamond Dallas Page), cleavage (supplied by Rose McGowan) and raw sewage by the tankerful. Director Brian Robbins ("Varsity Blues") has little to work with from screenwriter Steven Brill, who made his name peddling the child-friendly, formulaic "Mighty Ducks" movies. The result is a film written for chil- dren with gags for teens laid on top of sweaty, latently homoerotic activ- ities one would be hard pressed to call "entertainment." Hmmm,.. Courtesy of Warner Bros. David Arquette stars in "Ready to Rumble." Viewer beware. thanks, but no thanks, guys' Wrestling aside, there's lots not to like in this film. First of all, the- actors are horribly miscast. Oliver Platt is good at playing paunchy swashbucklers ("Three Musketeers") or a strung-out cam-; paign manager ("Bulworth"), but a wrestler? Gimme a break. I was al disheartened to see Cypher from "The Matrix" (JToe Pantoliano) play- ing a mean manager in this film. Doesn't he have anything better to do ? Also, Martin Landau, of whom one could politely describe as "lanky," is the coach trying to return The King to the top of his game. If you're going to make a movie about wrestling, some actors with muscles may actually raise the credibility scale to "not quite hooey" leve*. Arquette and Caan try to resurrect that special "Dumb and Dumber" idiotic humor, but end up settling with just idiotic. I may have laughed once in the film, or maybe it was in the pre- views. Go see "Beyond the Mat" if you crave wrestling on the big screen, oi' just grab your roommate in a headlock until he/she retur the favor with an atomic piledrive, In any case, if you value your brain at all, do not see "Ready to Rumble." ml I B ou guest. t S T O- 75 CALLBE Taking a break from the books this spring and summer? Be our guest at Oakland University and get ahead of the game next fall. 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