-_ _ _The Michigan Daily - Thursday, March 23, 2000 - 9A 0 THE DAILY GRIND *An average golfers'guide: Identifying Sunday Hackers Men's track steps outside for Stanford My golf game, if you can call it that, leaves plenty to be desired. I do not consider myself even an average golfer, and despite enjoying the sport, I harbor no illusions that I am, in fact, Tiger Woods. But nevertheless, I belong to an elitecircle of golfers, where membership is more of a privi- lege than atbone of those swank country clubs. You see, every spring and summer I join with other second-rate golfers nation- wide to form what is known as ANDY The Sunday Hackers. LATACK We meet once or twice a week on local courses, engaging Latack inwhat looks to be golf, but could not possibly be the way the game was intended to be played. We hit a nice shot or two, but only hear words like 'birdie' and 'par' when we are watching the Masters on television. But some of you more advanced golfers have little patience with us Sunday Hackers. In fact, many of you are downright disdainful when you happen upon us;in the clubhouse, sorting through the bucket of used balls that are marked down to a dollar. But Sunday Hackers are a very predictable species, so-by taking the necessary precautions, it's likely you can avoid us all together. Just like exercising caution when hiking in bear country, there are a series of steps you can follow to avoid Hackers and make your golfing experience safer and more fun for everyone. 1. Avoid common Hacker habitat. Translation: pub- lic golf courses. We hackers aren't good enough to justify spending any more than 20 or 30 dollars to play 18 holes, especially factoring in the money we blow on balls. Therefore, we're sticking to the city courses, thanks. Finding a hacker on an expensive private course is akin to spotting a polar bear in Arkansas. Every now and then, a Hacker might wander astray - this is usually a sign of dementia, and this Hacker should be avoided at all costs - but it's not likely. 2. Learn to recognize signs of Hacker activity. Just like animal tracks, Hackers leave signs that they have frequented an area and are about to return. See that strange ball that's lying in the middle of your fairway, even though you have yet to tee off? That's a sure-fire sign that you are about to spot a Hacker. He will likely jog briskly onto your fairway, take a choppy swing and send the ball back toward where he originally intended it to go, wave kindly and jog off. Please do not tee off again, trying to see which member of your party can pick off the Hacker like a duck in a shooting gallery. This is not appreci- ated. 3. Do not startle a Hacker. If you are going to observe a Hacker in its habitat, please do so unan- nounced. Hackers are very easily flustered, which results in them losing any hint of golf skill they migh have mustered from spending those countless hours a the driving range - hitting ball after ball until their hands bleed and they still can't hit a freaking 3-iron. Anyway, Hackers know they are not as good as you. So when you pull up right behind their cart and watch them tee off, it makes them nervous. And a nervous Hacker is a dangerous Hacker. If a Hacker feels extra eyes on him when he is preparing to tee off, the ensuing tee shot can be unpredictable and perilous. I've seen tee shots that fire directly at a 90-degree angle from where they were intended to go (okay, not only have I seen them, I've taken them). S if you crowd a Hacker, be prepared for the worst. Following these simple rules can ensure that you avoid conflict with any Sunday Hackers. Hackers pay their greens fees too, and have just as much right to the course as you do. Besides, we get our money's worth, using as much of the course as possible. You guys just use the fairways and the greens. - Once when golfing with a fellow Hacker last yea, Andy Latack had to drive back to the clubhouse in thi middle ofthe game to buy more used golf balls foi both of them. He can be reached via e-mail a latack@umich.edu By David Mosse ht Daily Sports Writer at Sunny skies loom ahead for the Michigan men's track and field team, which travels to California this week- end to take part in the Stanford Invitational. The meet represents the Wolverines' first real test of the out- door season. Last week, eight Wolverines, most- ly field-event specialists, got their first taste of outdoor action by com- o peting in the Florida State Invitational. This weekend the rest of the squad rejoins the fray as the Wolverines take on the likes of Stanford, Washington and Oregon in a meet they hope will jump-start their season. "The start of the outdoor season is r very similar to spring training in e baseball," Michigan coach Ron r Warhurst said. "It takes you a while t to get your feet on the ground." . Michigan will have two notable absences in Palo Alto. Triple jump specialist Oded Padan will be side- lined for the second consecutive week by a nagging leg injury. Padan has undergone X-Rays, bone scans and MRIs, yet his status for the remainder of the season is still unknown. In addition, senior distance runner Jay Cantin will not make the trip. Cantin is still bothered by an ankle injury that hampered his perfor- mance in both the Big Ten and NCAA Indoor Championships. The good news is All-AmericanSteve Lawrence will be available after returning from the World Cross Country Championships. Lawrence, along with sophomores Mike Wisniewski and Mark Pilja will anchor the Wolverines' distance corps. Michigan should also benefit from the return to health of sprinter Ike Okenwa. Okenwa suffered a ham- string injury in the latter stages of the indoor season and was not 100 per- cent for the conference champi- onships. His injury played a major role in Michigan's disappointing sixth-place finish. But what really has Warhurst excit- ed is the eventual return of distance runner John Mortimer, an All- American, who missed the majority of the indoor season with an ankle injury. While Mortimer is still a week or two away from returning to action, he has impressed Warhurst in practice and his presence could make all the difference in the world. "Mortimer is a guy who couldbe worth 20 points," Warhurst said. "You put him in Big Tens, and we may have finished second instead of sixth." California beckons women By James Mercier Daily Sports Writer Maybe all the Michigan women's track team needed was a vacation. The Wolverines spent Spring Break on cam- pus, but they finally got their chance to soak up a few rays at the Florida State , eloys last weekend. Competing in nasty 80-degree weather, the team shrugged off its disappointing indoor season and started the outdoor campaign with a bang. This weekend the Wolverines hope to find California to be equally hospitable. The team travels to Palo Alto for the Stanford Invitational, held tomorrow and Saturday. The level of competition is 'xpected to be stiff. "Stanford should be a good meet' 'Fish' empty on opening y - game cancelled by weather -The Michigan baseball team will have to wait another day before kick- ig off their home schedule of the 2000 season. Opening Day at Ray Fisher Stadium, set for yesterday, was postponed due to unplayable field conditions. Rain from last weekend combined " with the cold weather left the diamond too soggy per mo. Due at si ning 1229 A plus tax, title, and plates 2000 LW1 LW1 Retail Price 119,275* Lease '281 *per mo. Due at signing '281 plus tax, title, and plates GM Employee Price $17,674* GM Employee Lease 5238* per mo. 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