ARTS The Michigan Daily - Thursday, March 9, 2000-13A Films opening Mission to Mars Brian DePalma directed this - so, come on, it has to be good. Wait a minute, didn't he do "Snake Eyes?" Look at it this way: He's gotta do a better job of filming a Kubrick imitation than Kubrick's. At Showcase: 12:30, 1, 1:30, 2:50, 4, 4:30, 5:10. 6:45, 7:15, 7:45, 9:15, 9:45, 10:15, 11:40 (Fri. & Sat.), 12:10 (Fri. & Sat.). The Ninth Gate Roman Polanski takes a break from his busy child molestation schedule to actually, you know, direct. Meanwhile, rare book dealer Johnny Depp makes a deal with the devil - again. Johnny-0, please, please, please stop dancing with Satan. Leave that to Sad- dam. At Showcase: 1:15, 1:45, 4:10, 4:40, 7:05, 7:35, 9:50, 10:20, 12:30 (Fri. & Sat.). Films holding A A Classic B Excellent C Good D Fair F Not Worth Your Time, or Your Money All About My Mother (B+) What was that you just said about my mama? Shit. At State: 4 (Sat. & Sun.), 9:45 (except Wed.). American Beauty (B+) Pass the aspara- us. At Showcase: 1:10, 3:40, 6:40, :10, 11:35 (Fri. & Sat.). Angela's Ashes (C-) Angela Lansbury of "Murder, She Wrote" and "Manchurian Candidate" fame tries to quit smoking. Will she succeed? How about a game of solitaire? Angela Bassett, Angela Chase and Angela Hayes costar. At Briarwood: 9:20 Boiler Room (C+) Buy low, sell high. Siz- zle up with Ben Affleck, the next MarIon "Jabba the Hutt" Brando. At Showcase: 9:05, 11:25 (Fri. & Sat.). The Cider House Rules (C) The cider house RULES? News to me, Harv. Maybe if you buy enough full-page trade ads in Variety it'll make it true, though. At Showcase: 1:05, 3:45, 6:30, 9:20, 11:55 (Fri. & Sat.). Drowning Mona It's like this: everyone hates this bitch, and she gets killed. Everyone's a suspect. Too bad it's not Britney Spears or Christina Agagaga. At Briarwood: 1, 3:10, 5:20, 7:30, 9:50. At Showcase: 12:55, 3, 5:05, 7:10, 9:30, 11:30 (Fri. & Sat.). *he Green Mile (D) D is for Darabont, that's good enough for me. Everybody sing! (Preferably in that barely compre- hensible yet whimsical growl we all know and love.) At Showcase: 9. Hanging Up (D) Early line has Meg Ryan as odds-on fave to pick up a prestigious GoldenGlobe for comedy in 2001. P.S. - Kay, Michael would not approve of your directing job. And lose the gloves. At - Showcase: 6:15. Holy Smoke Fourth in a series that ncludes "The Insider," "Light It Up" and 'Angela's Ashes." You oug hta know. At State: 2 (Sat. & Sun.), 4:30 (Sat. & Sun.), 7, 9:30, 11:45 (Sat. only). My Dog Skip (B+) Sit, Harvey, sit. Good dog. Want some snausages? Do you. boy? Well, okay, just one. At Showcase: 12:15, 2:20, 4:35, 6:55. The Next Best Thing (D) My idea of the next best thing is not hanging out with Rupert Everett. It would be Madonna hooking up with some chick. She must miss Huh-huh, lesbians are cool. At Briar- wood: 1:40, 4:30, 7, 9:40. At Showcase: 2:10, 2:30, 5, 7:20, 9:40, 12:05 (Fri. & at.)-. Pitch Black (B-) It couldn't possibly be worse than "Mission to Mars Bars," even if it does lack Buck Swope. How's my lit- tMe kung-fq fighter? At Showcase: 12:45, 3:15, 5:40, 8, 10:30, 12:35 (Fri. & Sat.). Sweet and Lowdown (B+) Woody Allen's latest stars Sean Penn as an extremely likable fellow (Gad, but you readers are gullible.) At State: 1:30 (Sat. &Sun.), 7:30. 3 Strikes Baseball season is upon us, but unfortunately Gabe Kapler is wearing George W. Rangers red. Dub has promised that if he wins the election not only will he reclaim Sammy Sosa from the Cubs, but "Pythons" Kapler will be sent back to the Tigers post-haste. Not that we are making any political endorse- ments in this space, becuase we don't want the Edit gremlins to wreak their vengeance in our sleep. At Showcase: 1:20, 1:25, 3:20, 4:20, 5:35, 7:40, 8:10, 9:55, 10:25, 11:50 (Fri. & Sat.), 12:20 (Fri. & Sat.). Reindeer Games (C) Y2K did not go as smoothly as certain media outlets thought, given that Christmas has now arrived with blue skies, warm tempera- tures and the advent of everyone's favorite Santa, Paul Thomas Anderson. Santa PT is coming to town, kids, so you'd better have your naughty sauce and nice hardbodies ready. (What, you want to know about the movie? Why?) At Showcase: 12:40, 3:05, 5:30, 7:50, 10:10, 12:25 (Fri. & Sat.). Scream 3 (B) Harvey5Weinstein did it. At Showcase: 1:40, 4:25, 7:30, 10, 12:30 (Fri. & Sat.), The Sixth Sense (A-) "I see Harvey Wein- stein." "In your dreams? When you're awake? Harvey Weinstein, like at McDon- ald's and Wendy's?" "No, walking around like.. .a moral person. He can't see how evil he is. And he doesn't know he's fat. Please make him go away." "Spielberg's working on it." At Showcase: 12:50, 3:10, 5:25, 7:55, 10:05, 12:15 (Fri. & Sat.). Snow Day Chevy Chase is da man of da house. At Showcase: 12:20, 2:35, 4:45, 7. The Tigger Movie Could be cool, could be lame, we're not saying. Bounce on over and check this bad boy out. At Show- case: 12:25, 2:15, 4:15, 6:10. The Whole Nine Yards (C+) Bruce Willis actually succeeds in a comedy. Either -that or nothing else out is any good. At Briarwood: 2:50, 3, 5:10, 7:40, 10:10. At Showcase: 12:35, 2:45, 5:15, 7:25, 9:35, 11:45 (Fri. & Sat.). What Planet Are You From? (D-) Garry Shandling having sex? Yeah, that's what I want to see. It's almost as appealing a mental picture as Harvey Weinstein dat- ing little Gwynnie, which we hear is in the works. All in the family, Harv. At Showcase: 12, 2:10, 8:05, 10:15, 12:20 (Fri. & Sat.). Wonder Boys (B-) 2612 pages and count- ing. Is all of that single-spaced? Or you can march right down to the Fishbowl and print it all up again, Mr. Cradle-Rob- bing Tycoon. At Showcase: 1:20, 4:05, 6:50 (except Sat.), 9:25, 12 (Fri. & Sat.). Thursday CAMPUS CINEMA Temptress Moon (1996) A sensuous, visually engaging depiction of China in the 1920s. Banned in China for its controversial themes, this film fea- tures Chinese superstar Gong Li, as well as lots of Opium, sex, and hus- tlers. This is what I thought I was going to see when I rented "China- town." Michigan Theater, 603 E. Lib- erty. 7 p.m. $5.50. MUSiC Those Bastard Souls, The Original Brothers & Sisters of Love A little Appalachia, some rock and roll - look, just get drunk and go because you're still upset you missed The Chieftans. The Blind Pig, 208 S. First St. 10 p.m. $8. 996-8555. Ann Arbor Symphony Orchestra Youth Concert Grownups fondling instru- ments of wood and horsehair slated to play music by some dead white guys with names like Tchaikovsky and Borodin, and you tell me it's for the kids? Michigan Theater. 12:30 p.m. $5. 668-8463. Lady Sunshine & the X Band Not very well known sister group to KC and the Sunshine Band makes local appearance! (You know, like Ann Arbor is sister cities with Belize City and Dakar, Senegal.) Karl's, 9779 Gotfredson, Plymouth. 9:30 p.m. $3. 455-8450. THEA TER Keeping Brothers Basement Arts pre- sents student Jonathan Gentry's hotly anticipated new play about two brothers' reunion (one of whom returns to visit the other's home after long separation), the disruption of a successful Hollywood career, deceit, crime, paternal issues and a small but quirky female presence. Sam Shepard has not announced plans to sue. Arena Theatre, Frieze Building. 7 p.m. Free. 764-6800. ALTERNA TIVES Wyatt Prunty Founder and director of the Sewanee Writers' Conference reads from his latest collection of poetry, "Unarmed and Dangerous," as part of the U-M Visiting Writers Series. Rackham Amphitheatre, 915 E. Washington. 5 p.m. Free. 647- 6471. Rob Pasick Ann Arbor psychologist and poet reads from and signs copies of "Conversations with My Old Dog." Borders Arborland, 3527 Washtenaw. 7 p.m. Free. 677-6948. Barry Wallenstein Accompanied by M.L. Liebler and the Magic Poetry Band, Wallenstein reads from his book "A Measure of Conduct" and chats with his public. Shaman Drum Bookshop, 311 S. State. 8 p.m. Free. 662-7404. Ballet d'Afrique Noire The company presents "The Mandinka Epic," the Senegalese work depicting the histo- ry of the Mandinka tribe, through UMS. Power Center. 8 p.m. $16-34. 764-2538. Space of Memory/Site of Redress: Museums and the Performance of Cit- izenship Barbara Kirshenblatt-Gim- blett of New York University lectures on museums' efforts to represent two distinct cultural points of view in formerly colonial nations. Museum of Art apse. 7:30 p.m. Free. 764-0395 or 764-UMMA for recording. Friday CAMPUS CINEMA Besieged (1998) If you've got Bertolucci on the brain, just as the Michigan Theater has for the past month, this is the film for you. An African woman flees from persecution to Rome, where she gets romantical- ly entangled with her employer. Michigan Theater, 603 E. Liberty. 5 p.m. $5.50. The Cup (1999) lIf you love soccer, you'll love these wacky yet aerody- namically coiffed monks. Michigan Theater, 603 E. Liberty. 7:15 p.m. $5.50. Magnolia (1999) Can't get enough of that naughty sauce? Come see P.T. courtesy of Artisan Enterainmen Johnny Depp runs from the dark side in the hellfire thriller "The Ninth Gate." Anderson's ensemble masterpiece on the big screen one last time. Let's hope Tom Cruise picks up that Oscar he so truly deserves. Plus P.T. Ander- son is the royale with cheese. Michi- gan Theater, 603 E. Liberty. 9 p.m. $5.50. Rain Man (1988) Tom Cruise anu Dustn Hoffman star in this '80s clas- sic. W inner of four Oscars, including Best Picture. This is dancing. At the North Campus Chrysler Center Audi- torium. 7 p.m. Free. Rosetta (1999) A big winner at the Cannes Film Festival, this film is about a film struggling to free herself from her alcoholic mother. It is as intense an experience for the viewer as it is for Rosetta. Michigan The- ater, 603 E. Liberty. 7 p.m. $5.50. Tumbleweeds (1999) Basically your typic al mother-daughter road trip movie. Or something like that. Michi- gan Theater, 603 E. Liberty. 9:30 p.m. $5.50. MUSIC Jimmy Dillon He plays Chicago blues and, no, he's not related to Bob Dylan. Cavern Club, 210 S. 1st St. 10 p.m. $5. 332-9900. Indigo Swing Dance to the shades of an anomalous color. The Blind Pig, 208 S. First St. 10 p.m. $10. 996- 8555. Jazz and Painting Circus Extravagan- za Do the clowns play jazz? Do the musicians paint? It's an extravaganza in the street, so all bets are off, 212 Fourth Ave. 8 O.m. BR5-49 Nashville sound and digits. Music City goes postmodern? The Ark, 316 S. Main. 8 p.m. $14. 761- 1451. Ultro Manto Some guy named Curtis is in this band. Lonely Hearts Club, 211 E. Washington. 8 p.m. $2. 913" 5506. THEA TER Keeping Brothers See Thursday. 7 p.m. and 11 p.,m. Empatheatre Performers use improvi- sation to deal with psychological issues suggested by audience mem- bers. Kerrytown Concert House, 415 N. Fourth Ave. 7:30 p.m. $10-12, $7 for students. 768-2999. ALTERNATIVES Thelma Thomas A publication celebra- tion for Thomas's new book "Late Antique Egyptian Funerary Sculpture: Images for this World and The Next," Shaman Drum Bookshop, 311 S. State. 4 p.m. Free. 662-7404. Leslea Newman Author of "Heather has Two Mommies" and "Little Butch Book" reads from "Girls Will Do Girls," her latest collection of short stories. Common Language Book- store, 215 S. Fourth. 7:30 p.m. Free. 663-0036. Neutral Zone Poetry Reading An hour of poetry by members of the Neutral Zone, Ann Arbor's teen center, which publishes the nation's only magazine dedicated to teen poets, "No Com- ment." Barnes & Noble Bookstore, 3245 Washtenaw. 7:30 p.m. Free. 677-6475. courtesy of New Line Cinema Come see Jim Kurring (JCFR) and the year's best film, "Magnolia," at the Michigan on Fri. _________________________:____=_"_____-4' "- ''-.'-' ."----"''" -'RM.,.4Op, ffl