6B - Thefichigan Daily - Weeken;etc. Magazine - Thursday,ebruary 17, 2000

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IN THE BEGINNING

... THERE WERE TOO MANY WORDS

Ben and I were drinking dollar pitchers
in a one-word bar a few nights ago. It
wasn't your usual dollar-pitcher night,
though. There was room to move around,
and even a chance to shoot some pool if
you were patient enough.
But we weren't in the mood to shoot
some stick or wander around and buy a
three-dollar drink for a one-night stand.
We were just chillin' at a table, overlook-
ing the rest of the bar; speaking in normal
tones, listening to That's My Mama and
sipping on a pitcher of slightly alcoholic
water - in between bottles of Oberon.
"I hate bottled beer," I said.
"Wait. You ... hate bottled beer" Ben
deadpanned.

"Well, I don't actually hate bottled
beer. I just hate the fact that there are
only, what, 16 ounces in a bottle of
Oberon."
"Think about what you're saying
though. Do you really hate bottled beer?"
"It's more annoying, I guess"
"Right, but you don't hate the fact
beer's in a bottle. It's actually pretty con-
venient. Look, it fits in your hand com-
fortably, and it doesn't spill easy like a
pint. A bottle of beer usually means
you're drinking something decent. When
was the last time you saw a bottle of
Beast?"
"All right, I just wished they served
bigger bottles of beer."

"Oh, right, so you want your waitress
to come back to your table with a 40 of
St. Ides? I mean come on, what kind of
bar would serve 40's? A better question
you need to ask yourself is, 'who goes to
a bar that serves nothing but 40's?"'
"Somebody with a very limited taste
for beer"
"Yeah, no doubt. Besides, beer is one
of those four-letter words that isn't used
enough." Ben started to get that look in
his eyes as he kept talking.
"But hate is one of those four-letter
words that's so overused it doesn't have
any real meaning left."
"What kind of words are you talking
about? Words people use like a comma,

like 'fuck' and 'like?"'
"No, nothing
that obvious.
Everyone our age
knows they say
those words way
too much. I'm
talking about
words like hate,
rape, kill, love"
"Interesting
combination of
words you have
there. I don't jQ
think I'd put the
words rape and St
love in the same c
category though.
"Think about it

you' or 'I'm going to whack him,' you
don't actually mean that you're going to
physically kill that person."
"Well no, but I'm pissed at 'em.
Nobody actually believes I'm gonna kill
the guy anyway. It's just expressing your-
self."
"Yeah, but when you do that you
demean the word. It happens with four-
letter words all the time. Take rape, for
example. How many times have you said
something like, 'That test just raped
me?".
"Not a lot. It's not a phrase I use every-
day"
"But still, you've used it or heard other
people use it quite often?"
"Yeah.
"Now think how insulting that is. You
See ZEMKE, Page 78

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: Michael
Speaking

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though, when you say, ''m going to kill

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JUICY COUTURE

Murray Perahia, piano
Wednesday, February 16, 8 p.m.
Hill Auditorium
Murray Perahia is one of the most sought-after
and cherished pianists of our time.

kate spade

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1.
I.
I119 S. University
Ann Arbor,. Michigan
48104
747.8272

E

Bach/Busoni
Bach

PROGRAM:
Four Chorale Preludes
Goldberg Variations, BWV 988

MMI IIIM11


E

New York City Opera
National Company
Thursday, February 17, 8 p.m.
Friday, February 18, 8 p.m.
Power Center
Don't miss one of the world's favorite operas,
Rossini's irresistible comedy The Barber of Seville.
A merry romp with a Spanish flavor!
1n Italian with Eng/ish supertit/es

i

parasucojeans

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UniversityActv esCenter

Friday, February 18th
Saturday, February 19th

8PM

Mendelssohn Theater.
at theMichgank1i, ~
Buy tickets at the
Michigan Union Ticket Office
or call 763.TKTS
IMPACT Dance Theatre

Christian Tetzlaff, violin
Sunday, February 20, 8 p.m.
St. Francis of Assisi Catholic Church

Bach
Bach
Bach

PROGRAM:
Partita No. 2 in d minor, BWV 1004
Sonata No. 3 in C Major, BWV 1005
Sonata No. 2 in a minor, BWV 1003

Students
$5 pre-paid
$6 at the door
$7 non-students

C ollege Clu b. corn
it's all U.M
- -No porcupines, living, dep or otherwise, were harmed n the-creatir of phis advertisement

With Special Guest:
Comedy Company

Ts

UiVers u .Myicci 5,~ ~ 7428

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