an Heather Today: Cranky and1 Tomorrow: Happy. d swings. Camp letingg four years ofedioriadlfreedom Jeoparday January 28, 2000 ith I from h senlo S. For us, the Daily has been a amily By the Seniors Former Daily Staffers Tonight a group of 20 people, who prob- ably don't belong together, shared Daily tradition one last time. We had dinner. Someone once described it as a big family dinner. And in a way it has been. For the past four years, at a point during the busy night, time slows down for an hour. Sometimes din- ncr is missed amidst the rush of events, sometimes not everyone can find a seat at the table or other responsibilities keep them away. We've shared these dinners in times of hope, on our first nights here, as we learned names and faces, and looked forward to com- ing back. We chewed quietly in awe of a girl who alternately flailed her arms and made people cry. In another corner the fledgling sports writers watched the jocular Greek stuff more Arby's into his mouth than human- ly possible while his ever-receding hair line crept further backwards. Some family members never make it to dinner, unless the bar counts. Newborn opin- ion staffers took part in an odd ritual - edit board at Dominic's. While the editors ordered pitchers of sangria, the younger crowd scurried through newspapers, looking for editorial topics. New and intimidated as hell by the crazy woman who called herself one of the editors, the newbies pondered issues like DNA warehousing, affirmative action and abortion. With each new issue, the two editors - one a leftist, one a right- ist - found their loyalties torn and their staff nervous and confused. And somewhere between arguments, pa:liamentarv motions and deafening pizza bread announcements, six editorials were passed and the meeting adjourned. The arts staff doesn't exactly eat here either, sometimes they wander in at night and pick scraps from empty boxes. But as young unassuming reviewers, they learned from the soft haired and soft spoken pair of gentle souls who taught them the Daily's golden rule: Musicians put out good music, film- makers put out bad movies. While we were at the . Daily 0.0 So in four years here in the Student Publications Building, we've wasted a lot .of time. Time we could have spent doing other things. We thought about Embracing the Possibilities in the Greek community or grab- bing a blow horn to become a campus leader, but. instead we decided to do something useful. But because we're a little nostalgic (and well frankly spent most night here until 2 a.m., you'd also have that right, but you didn't so it's your own fault) here's a list of all the things we missed out on. Always trying to bring you the best coverage in campus and local news. 0 Travel abroad. (We love foreign alcohol, men and women) More sex with strangers More sex with people we know Less sex with James Miller Less ass cleave. 'Nuff said Never meeting that bitch Jessica Curtin, Brant Elias or Luke M assie One word: Porn. Class Sleep * Most of my friends' 21st birthdays Being skinny Good health (both physical and mental) * Pretty much any semblance of a normal life * The chance to thoroughly piss away my entire senior year in style. But I plan on malking up for lost time. My first date ever with my future girlfriend., Explain that one. 0 Discussion, exams and anything else I could get svm pathetic teachers to buy into. If I were at the Oaily as much as I led my instructors to believe, they would've named the paper after me. N Spring break (no, I didn't go to the women's Big Ten basketball tournament in Indianapolis by choice). A happy, well-balanced future ® An education from books * Not being called racist/sexist/bigot/ moron/idiot/biased/yellow/stupid/dirty at least once a day A 4.0 Happy, healthy romantic and familial realtionsips -Compiled from staff reports And four years passed, just like that. We ate a few more meals and gained a few more pounds. Somehow we became the people we once watched in awe. The family, which has watched some of its relatives walk in, stay momentarily on time lent and disappear through the door for good, will again say goodbye to some of its most dedicated members. For all of the meals we've shared - putting out special sections on the impeach- ment, staying up late to put together sports special sections and sitting at 3 a.m. with one last pizza, because, well we were awake - everyone has their favorites. It is in our family, complete with an omnipotent deity (Heather), moms and dads (Jenni, Jeff and Dave), children and monkeys (Rick, Josh, T.J. and Andy), inbred cousins (Chris and Jacob), crazy uncles (Jeff D.), aunts (Erin and Jeannie), distant cousins (Adam, Adam and Zemke), angelic teenagers with evil streaks (Katie), condom distribut- ing aunts (Niki), unidentifiable relations (Jack and Aaron) that we've all found a place to call home, when we're tired and when we are ecstatic. So if tomorrow our family seems a little smaller and not as many people return for dinner on Sunday, well it's true. It's just a continuation of the cycle. It's how we build our generations. But we (the newest Daily ghosts) will return and we hope there will always be a chair waiting for us at dinner. We wish we could stay. And we will miss you, even if we're only just down the street, sitting on a bar stool, thinking about dinner and drinking a beer. To the losers who couldn't. make it through four years here. Long (and whiney) Island To those who fell along the way There are a lot of people who walk through the door at 420 Maynard, but there are only a select few with the stamina to go the distance. (There's also the people who work here.) But for those of our colleagues who just couldn't make it (too weak, too stupid, not committed or just plain illiterate) we leave this memento. True, most of these people are probably still too shattered by their experience working at the Daily to pick up a paper, but that just gives us more space to berate them for their weaknesses. (Because of libel, well, we've changed some names, but not personalities.) #cx V5s. ALCOHOLISM O U R F A V O R I T E F R I E N D I I * orw ane* an040.Maynard This former news reporter quit when she dis- covered that even by whining, she just could- n't get other people to do her work for her. We pity the people who hire her next. Jersey Chaser After discovering she preferred Rick's to the Daily, this former sports writer put more time into writin naners for athletes than Two dykes and a visionary Rise struggling masses! After discovering they couldn't write an unbiased article if they tried, this trio decided to take their freak show on the road and help the unfortunate. Crafts editor This spelling bee champion quit (p-e-t-t-y) the Daily after a dispute over the amount of her payment. (Too bad she missed an extra In hot water This southern cracker got tired of being labeled "under suspicion" at the Daily, so he pulled his head out of the hot tub and took his shenanigans elsewhere. The IM ringers This daring duo is conspicuously absent until their presence is needed at Daily sporting events. They may not be able to write, but at THE OPPONENT: There are no more opponents. No one to call us and yell at us and tell us we're dirty. From now on, yell at someone else, we don't have to pretend to care anymore. THE OUTLOOK: Unemployment? Oh well, we'll just do like all good journalists and soak our troubles away in a few pints at Ashley's. Later, we'll pass out in a back alley somewhere. LAST WEEK: We saw the light at the end of the tunnel, but then we passed out. At this point it doesn't matter, it's old news. } hs110TO 0 TO OTA 1AAA ANtD WATT49 JUP t ~~OWL WlsTD 0[ PIMIH( OUT U WAT(ulH T1 6A01[~. CI V. ToVIOt(gut (" MITUiS AUuvUI ( UUl T tOH , £ I