12 - The Michigan Daily-- Friday, January 14, 2000 -FRIDAYFOCUS 14 " Many pie have b rd the ex n "omngot f hecost"BuPsVtT ju. foe000r0spne?0ormayits ar,:oftsig.ndlney.t u SA senior Luke Klipp is quite familiar with being inside of the closet. Sitting in Caribou Coffee, reclining in a chair and picking at a bagel, Klipp says without hesitation he "always knew" he was gay. Klipp explains that as early as age four he devel- oped an interest in an older boy and began to emu- late him. While his parents thought it was cute that he had a role model, they didn't realize it was really a sexual attraction, Klipp says. The realization and coming out Klipp said similar feelings surfaced during junior high school toward another classmate, but he didn't think that meant he was gay. Even though it felt like "a little light turned on," Klipp said he didn't want to act on his feelings. Instead, he kept them hidden. Then for one week during his first year of high school, without telling anyone, Klipp decided he would take on the mindset that he was gay and try being comfortable with his sexuality. "It was relieving. It made sense to me," Klipp said, explaining that the week was the first time in his life he was not afraid or ashamed of his identity. But Klipp said once the week was over, he felt angry at the prospect of returning to a way of think- ing that he didn't relate to. Since he attended a Catholic school, Klipp said he couldn't tell any of his school friends about his homosexual feelings fearing he'd be kicked out. It wasn't until the next year that Klipp told his par- ents that he was gay. Klipp said that coming out to his parents was dif- ficult because it challenged the vision he felt they had of him. He recalled his mother asking if he was sure he wasn't bisexual, at the same time his father started listing reasons his son couldn't be gay. But Klipp said he also remembers his older sis- ter coming out, when he was in eighth grade. He said neither he nor his parents seemed surprised by his sister's announcement. Finally, during Klipp's first year at the University his father came out of the closet. "I didn't know how to feel," Klipp said, admitting that he had a more difficult time coping with his parents' separation, than finding out about his father's sexual prefer- ence. Much like Klipp, Rackham second-year student Maya Vaughan-Smith began to notice her sexual feelings tended toward the same sex at an early age. Vaughan-Smith identifies herself as a "bisexual lesbian," meaning she has relation- ships with males and females, but predominate- ly females. She came out privately when she was 13. At the time, Vaughan-Smith had a job volunteering at church. Although Vaughan-Smith said she was blind to the coming out process, she wrote herself a note on the church letterhead about her affection for a female. Looking back, Vaughan-Smith says it was her coming out process. While Vaughan-Smith said she didn't acknowledge her sexuality until she was a first-year student at Rutgers University, she started in high school to change the way people viewed her. "I cut off my hair in rebellion to boys and to my family," she said. After trying a failed attempt to tell her mother, Vaughan-Smith revealed her sexuality to her fam- experience. "It's much easier to go along with the flow." Klipp said that being gay "is not such a big deal ... there needs to be a dialogue" about it. To help facilitate a dialogue, the University's Office of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender Affairs office coordinates a group of speakers to inform and educate people about different sexual ori- entations each year. Holly Ferrise, LGBT coordinator of education and training said the Speaker's Bureau includes about 30 members but expects to gain 20 more by next month. Ferrise said members from the group frequently speak to classes, student groups and travel to other campuses. "It's a way for LGBT to have some consistency in the program andto educate through sharing per- sonal histories," she said. LGBT Director E. Frederic Dennis estimates that' "at least 10 percent of-the population is lesbian and gay," in the United States. But Dennis said it is difficult to give an exact number because many are reluctant to accept or dis- close their sexuality. LGBT offers many support groups including a group that specifically focuses on the coming-out; process. The group, Ferrise said, meets for 10 weeks and is anonymous. was a lesbian her mother said, " Erica, I know you love boys." Sopha said she was so eager to get her mother's approval the next day she started a rela- tionship with a man that lasted six months. But Sopha said after her experience that summer, she felt like a stranger in front her friends. She began painting as a method of introspection, got piercings and tattoos and even quit basketball, which she had played since high school. Although Sopha said she knew she was a lesbian, it wasn't until she went to the campus group that she finally admitted it. Sopha said she has never regretted her decision to come out, "I never wished I wasn't gay." Klipp also said the University offered him an envi- ronment where he had freedom and found real friends. As a graduate student, Vaughan-Smith said she finds the campus "less of a social scene and not as fun." She said people are "very complacent" and suggested they should integrate more. While Sopha said people at the University have been very supportive, she remembered one inci- dent with a University employee, in a confi- dential setting, who was "patronizing" when she told the woman of her sexual orientation. She said the woman made her feel "ashamed." Rarely does UHS receive com- plaints regarding employee insensi- tivity, Winfield said. UHS has adapted its style of ques- tioning, Winfield said, to include be sensitive to sexual preferences. UHS has replaced the "husband/wife" question on their forms with "part- ner." 1 "We're all comfortable working with gender issues," Winfield said. "All of us at Health Services are real- ly interested in helping out patients if they're going through a transition like coming out in what ever way we can," he said, adding that UHS tries to help students be who they want to be. In her residence hall at Rutgers, Vaughan- Smith was known as the "Dorm Dike," a name she says she found humorous. But Vaughan- Smith said college life was difficult for her. She remembered losing roommates after they discovered AID ROHKIND/Daiy her sexual preferences. "I felt at times the girls didn't get to know me," Vaughan-Smith said. When asked why she told them about her sex- uality she explained, "I couldn't not tell them because I was very active on campus." Of nearly 30 people on her floor in her res- idence hall, she said that throughout the term eight girls came told her they were having either bisexual feelings, experiences or they were thinking KIMITSU YOGACHI/Daily of conversion. "They Luke KIlpp reads in his East Quad just wanted to brag om last night. ABOVE: Rackham about it," Vaughan- lent Maya Vaughan-Smith sits in the Smith laughed. yesterday. LEFT: Students kiss on the Vaughan-Smith said February 1999 "Kiss-in." she made a goal to have a relationship with a girl while in ily in an e-mail message. Vaughan-Smith said mother didn't believe her. Her mother explained that lesbians are women that wear all leather and don't want to be with men, women who will have sexual intercourse with anything - man, woman or dog- or women who were raped or abused and can no longer toler- ate men. Vaughan-Smith said her moth- er thought her revelation was part of a phase. She said coming out both as a bisexual and lesbian took I some time. Talking about it University Health Services Interim Director Robert Winfield said since health care is closely linked to sexuality, he often assists student who appear troubled with their sexuality. But UHS officials also refer patients who desire help or counseling regarding their sexuality to University Counseling and Psychological Services. Audrey Kim, a psychologist at Counseling and Psychological Services, said, "Coming out is a difficult and stressful process for most people, and counsel- ing can be beneficial." Klipp said he doesn't see the significance in trying to FILE PHOTO "They cover a different topic every week s family, getting involved in LGBT and self-es she said. Ferrise said the next session begins in Febr uch as teem," uary. The benefits of diversity LSA junior Erica Sopha, came out through one University-sponsored group last year. Through the group Quiet Women and Reform Sopha was able to accept her sexuality. Sopha said the group helped her real- ize that being a lesbian is "not a bad thing." Although she had significant relation- ships with males in high school, Sopha said they just "didn't click." Also dur- ing her tumultuous high school years college. Her relationships were "never sexual at that point, only fantasy," she said. At about 20 years old, she became involved in a serious relationship with a man who proposed to her. He said he would only marry her if she abstained from her lesbian ten- den c i es. They did- n't get married. "I don't know if I believe in marriage i since mar- .4