a t e 'seal' finale 1odikj att Urr w in Daily Arts: Check out the final show of "Real World: Seattle." Don't miss the U Come back to Daily Arts on Wednesday for reviews of the tearful goodbyes of the cast, which includes one of the Wednesday night pity party of "Beverly Hills 90210" and University's own, LSA senior Lindsay Brien. The show starts at "Party of Five." 10 p.m. on MTV. A RTS Tuesday November 3, 1998 Tampires' does nothing but suck By Ed Sholinsky Daily Arts Writer Since the release of"Scream,"the hor- or genre has recded from hard edged, tore movies to teen slasher flicks. "John Ca nter's Vampires" seemed as if it be a welcome return of an old master to the genre that made him a leg- nd. "Vampires," however, is bogged down by problems early on and never recovers. Sandwiched between two intense action cenes is a piece of drivel that takes itself ntirely too seriously and is built on diffi- ult thematic material. What should have been a grisly, kick- s ampire Western ends up being taken st. ly by the writer, director and cast. nstead of having fun with the naterial, eads James Woods (Jack Crow), Daniel Baldwin (Montoya), Sheryl Lee Katrina), Tim Guinee (Father Adam Guiteau) and Thomas Ian Griffith Valek) play their parts as if "Vampires" s high art. "Vampires" is the story of a Vatican- ponsored group of vampire hunters,who et ambushed by vampire Valek after h destroy his nest. While celebrating M booze and hookers, Valek attacks ack Crow and his team of vampire unters, leaving only Crow and Montoya live. In addition to that, Valek bites Jack's hooker, Katrina, leaving her as a pre-vampire. Jack decides to take her along as they hunt for Valek because Valek has a psychic link with all of his victims. In his own words, Jack uses Katrina asa "surveillance camera." While this material is ripe for a great horror movie, it should never be presented as drama. John "Vampires"'s Carpenter's subtext is even Vampires more problematic. * The movie comes At SBiarwood across as anti- and Showcase AIDS patient, anti-Catholic and misogynistic. The characters consid- er vampirism a "virus" that infects through the erotic act of the vam- pires' bite. Like AIDS, the virus is slow acting, but present in the blood before the person shows signs of being infected. And like society, "Vampires" make a point of connecting the virus with homo- sexuality. Jack constantly connects vam- pirism and the vampires themselves with homosexuality, accusing them of being gay every opportunity he gets. And of course, the only way to rid the world of the virus is to destroy everyone who car- ries it, because the vampires spread it to the rest of the "normal" people - the heterosexuals. Further, the film blames the Catholic church for the creation of vampires. -It seems that Valek was a priest who reject- ed the church and was considered pos- sessed. To rectify the situation, a group of priests performed an exorcism, which ended up being an "inverse exorcism," creating a person whose body is dead but whose evil soul is still alive - the vam- pire. Even though Jack and his team work for the Vatican, Jack is not above dis- obeying the Church and torturing priests to get information. In addition to harboring aggression against AIDS victims and Catholics, "Vampires" promotes violence against women. Not only is every woman in the film a prostitute, but the main female character, Katrina, becomes a victim of vampirism. After taking her as a hostage/psychic link to Valek, Jack and Montoya are not above tying up Katrina and beating her when they deem it appro- priate. For all its problems, which are plenti- ful, "Vampires" has two tremendous vampire slaying scenes that bookend the movie. Showing the skill he has devel- oped since "Halloween," Carpenter mas- terfully handles the suspense and action, creating a tension that is palpable. Unfortunately, Carpenter doesn't work as well with the rest of the scenes. Even a horror movie can't rest solely on its bru- tal action sequences. Instead, it needs to have a certain excitement running throughout. "Vampires" lacks this. Most of the tension is supposed to revolve around Valek's search for the cru- cifix used during his exorcism, so he can use it to walk in the light. Coupled with Jack, Montoya and Guiteau's frantic attempt to keep Valek from succeeding, "Vampires" comes across as a complete bore. For the 20 minutes of excitement from the first and last action sequences, yog still have to sit through more than an hour of this filth. In the two biggest roles, Woods and Baldwin do nothing to help his movie. The multiple Oscar-nominated Woods hams up his role, coming on way too strong as he tries to spice up his role. Baldwin proves he can do more than trash a New York hotel room while high on crack, he can also wreck vampires and a movie. Throughout the movie Baldwin is so dead Woods should've kept check- ing for a pulse. Lee - immortally Laura Palmer - has no business being in "Vampires." A talented actress who has Courtesy at Columbia Pictures Sheryl Lee plays a prostitute bitten by a vampire, In "John Carpenter's Vampires." been building up indie credibility over the past several years, Lee is a disaster as Katrina. Another atrocity is Thomas Ian Griffith's role. As a vampire, Griffith makes a good statue. Instead of bringing any sexuality and etherealness to the part of Valek, Griffith bares his fangs a lot. By the end of "Vampires," it's very obvious Carpenter has failed in both gen- res he attempted to work within. "Vampires" is neither as cool as "From Dusk 'til Dawn;' nor as gritty as "The Wild Bunch" nor as elegant as "Dracula?" What we're left with is one great big mess that only die-hard horror and Carpenter fans will love. Colas novel checks, and rechecks, obsessive disorder Drive 5' passes the racing test Just Checking Emily Colas Pocket Books At some point everyone gets paranoid. This usually feels ridiculous and comes in the form of checking to see if the stove is on or the door is locked. But most peo- ple are not constantly checking everything for blood in fear of getting a disease. Most people do not lock the door or turn off the stove more than once. Emily Colas however, had no problem with constantly examining people's hands for cuts and making sure all packages were tightly sealed. In her book, "Just Checking: Scenes from the Life of an Obsessive-Compulsive," she chronicles her experiences with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, or OCD, in a humorous, yet somewhat dis- turbing, way. Colas' life revolves around the types of unnecessary worries that most people can talk themselves out of without too much trou- ble. The book is a collection of witty short stories from her life, mainly about living with OCD. One of the enjoyable aspects of the book is that now, after taking medication that drastically improved her condition, she can appreciate how other people must have been responding to her extreme paranoia. The book traces the disorder throughout her life, starting with her childhood. Colas shows how the disor- der is inherited with a story about her mother turning off a light switch and continuing to flick the already off switch in numbers of four until it "felt right." This obsession with numbers continues in Colas' life in the form of stars. She starts out the book by explaining that when she is having a conversation with someone she does not listen to what they say, instead she draws stars in her head and for every word that they say. Her con- versations must end on a multiple of five. The disorder becomes severe during her marriage and while she is raising her children. There are many amus- ing stories concerning her relationship with here hus- band who eventually becomes her only link to the out- side world. Due to her extreme fear of diseases and con- tamination, Colas rarely goes out in public or allows people into her home. Colas' relationship with her spouse started out as quite social, but still bizarre. When she and her husband first started dating, she would trick him into tasting everything she ate. She had a striking fear of someone spiking her food with LSD, so she tricked her husband into being the tester. But even when she confesses her fear, he still indulges her and helps comfort her in many other ways such as checking for blood everywhere and making sure everything is sealed properly. Colas also has a ridiculous ritual of taking out the trash that involves her husband throwing away the clothes he is wearing while handling the garbage and removing all of his soiled clothing on the front porch.' Colas' paranoia about food is so intense that she does not eat anything that is not pre-packaged and sealed. Everything has to go through her tests to see if any tampering has occurred. If she buys 10 toothbrush- es, only a select few will pass her tests of sanitation. The rest would be thrown out. Such extreme examples run throughout the book and add to the dark humor. In addition, they give the reader a sense of sanity. Overall, the book is well written and darkly funny. There are a few places where Colas feels the need to write poems about OCD that do not really work well with the rest of the book and serve to disrupt the flow. "Just Checking" is a series of somewhat interconnected events that, by most people's standards, do not make any sense. Although it is an unsettling read, perhaps even more so for those who suffer from OCD, most people should find it amusing and even mildly familiar. --Caitlin Hall rest Drive: 5 aQny Playstation ccolade Wing games must be both realistic nd fun, a description that is hard to chieve. So far, there's been the great Gran Turismo," arguably the best rae- ag game yet. "Test Drive: 4" was nown as the best racing game of 994, so "Test Drive: 5" might just be be one that retires "Turismo." "Test Drive: 5" features cool graph- s, excellent controls and good game- laghe graphics are very crisp with ifferent lighting, rain that splatters on windows and impressive car crashes. he very precise control leaves little oom for error as the player races on cenic routes of many different coun- :ies around the world. Police can pull The game's little differences, such as the two-player mode that has the option to include other computer cars in the race, also make it superior to others on the market. Another nice detail is the fact that the computer cars can screw up.The computer cars seem to possess a mind of his own as they push other cars and traffic out of their way. The other cars on the road make for great car crashes when a player or an opponent is cruising at more than 150 mph and makes a small driving error. But all this is not enough if Accolade wants to be better than the best in racing games. That's where the extra features of this game come in handy, such as play modes that include tons of championships and races. The secreis in the game also make it worth- while. There is an interesting chase mode where the player serves as the cop and must bust reckless drivers, allowing for the experience of what it's like to be on the other side of the law. The best features in this game are the new and recent cars it includes: the '98 Corvette, '98 Saleen Mustang S351 and the Dodge Viper. For those who are familiar with older cars, "Test Drive: 5" also has a nice array of older muscle cars including the '66 Shelby Cobra 4275C and the '69 Camaro. "Test Drive: 5" is awesome and gives "Gran Turismo" a run for its money. Those who like racing games even to a moderate degree shouldn't miss out on "Test Drive: 5." - Stephen Ma .1. .1 lIY Y Y Y II IY I rYIIY YI Y player over, or at least try to, Ithough usually they get caught in -affic or crash into other cars. "Test )rive: 5" also has great background susic and tons of replay value, the best just keeps getting now you can read anytime anywhere We've got great student discounts on demestic travel, too. 0J be rn r3 +IU Q nwII~r An Incredible Event. . WIlen S Synposium Date: Sunday, November 8, 1998 Place: Michigan League Time: 10am-4pm Don't miss out on the opportunity to hear U of M alumnae Stephanie Takai and Dr. Anne Rowe speak, along with Congresswoman Lynn Rivers! Plus...lavish in a day of seminars relevant to all future leaders: " How to get the job you want * Managing a career and family " The graduate school experience " Women in Management: addressing age and gender disparities " Health and safety issues Free lunch will be provided to all participants who pre-register and a reception will follow Ms. Takai's speech. All are welcome- Please come and experience this unique and inspiring event... To register for the symposium or if you have any questions, stop by the Socie of Women Engineers Office in 1226 EECS Buildin g, call (7 ) 763-5027, or email jwcho@engin.umich.edu ***Sponsored by the Society of Women Engineers and Women in Engineering Office*** (800) 777-0112 * STA TRAVEL we'e been there. www.michiganday.com bookmark It!