208'- TheMichigan DAily fest of AnnAbor 998 - Thursday April16 1998' Best of Film 0 Th6Michigan Daily Best,of Ann.Arbor 1998 And the award for most pointlessly long title goes to ... Best of the University All the best of the 'U' ... why students spend all those Best Love Scene: "Chasing Amy" There are a number of great candi- dates for this one, as there are every year. But with "Chasing Amy" in the running, there obviously is a standout. The rain scene (all of you who have seen it know what this means) is one of the most moving love scenes ever. Sniff. And just for a bit of ironic juxtaposition ... Most Gratuitous Violence: "Event Horizon" This movie had enough blood in it to fuel a good-sized emergency room for a year or two. The film had it all, if you're looking for blatant masochism: eye-gougings, disembowelings and men without skin, oh my! And all of it was explicitly portrayed, complete with the digital experience. Most Predictable Dialogue: "Titanic" The award goes to ... (drumroll, please)... "Titanic"! The film pulled in every other award this year, so it is only fitting that it should receive this one. The most impressively mundane piece of writing came in a scene show- ing Kate Winslet sitting in a dining room, waiting for her dinner. In her most poignantly pathetic, introspective tone, her voice echoes something to the effect of, "I felt like I was standing at the edge of a cliff, ready to jump off, and all that I needed was a loving hand to reach out and save me." It is less than 30 seconds before the audience is shown a moving vignette: Winslet's character standing on the ship's bow railing, ready to jump. No sooner is this scene shown than faithful Leo shows up behind her, with the afore- mentioned "loving hand." And surpris- ingly, he reaches out and saves her. Thanks, Jimmy, for challenging our collective intellect with this engaging piece of film. Best Exploitation of a Movie Trend: "Men in Black" OK, for all of you out there who are tired of the recent spate of alien flicks, I apologize for this one. But a light in the film darkness this year was the Best Professor: Ralph Williams All students should make sure to catch one of his lectures on Shakespeare or the Bible before they graduate. Best Course: Psych 111/ Law 306 (Tie) Freud's sexual stages and the legal system. What could be more exciting? Best Blow-off Course: Sports in Ancient Rome A class with "sports" in it won't be the biggest intellectual challenge of your life. Best Sports Team: Football Undefeated season. National Cham- pions. Enough said. Best Athlete: Charles Woodson One word: Heisman. Best Library: Harlan Hatcher Graduate Library You can do pretty much anything in a hidden corner or your own little study room in the Grad Library. ( -B Best Place to Study: Harlan Hatcher Graduate c Library w It's true what they say. Someone t1 could die in the stacks and not be found for days. SUMMER EMPLOYMENT METROPARKS/HAVE C THIS SUMMER IN A DELIGHTF LIFEGUARD, NATURALIST, PUE MAINTENANCE A APPLY AT THE METROPARI CALL OUR TOLL FREE NUM AN EQUAL OPPORTUNI HURON-CLINTON METROP I I PACKIN' UP ? 6 Let Parcel Plus lighten your load. Courtesy of Paramount Pictures For gratuitous violence, see "Event Horizon (above)." Courtesy of Warner Bros. Batman and Robin tried to save the day with rubber suits and cold puns. They lost (right). comic relief offered up by "Men In Black." It featured an innovative plot, some great one-liners and the coolest Will Smith song in years (which con- sequently set the stage for "Gettin' Jiggy Wit' It," the keenest song ever. Nah nah nah nah nah nab nah!). Best Sequel: "Scream 2" Many may disagree, but "Scream 2" was a pretty impressive thrill ride. Maybe it wasn't quite as innovative as its predecessor, but it still had audi- ences squirming. Worst Sequel: "The Lost World" Michael Crichton has sold out completely, and he proved it this year 10% OFF! Packaging & Shipping with Student ID (Excludes US Mail) Call or e-mail for a free quote 677-4477 shipping@lamppost.parcelplus.com U of M Student Owned! '"' with "The Lost World." He wrote the book solely in response to the lucrative success of "Jurassic Park," and it showed. The book was heinous, and the film was even worse. At least millions were spent on the project, so the dinosaurs were pretty nifty. Worst Venture into a Rubber Suit: "Batman and Robin" Last summer gave us the fourth episode of the Batman series, in which, maybe, the first installment PARCEL .s Gloala Shipping and Commncain should have been the last. This time, George Clooney took his place behind the wheel of the Batmobile. I promised myself that I'd never say this, but maybe George should stick to surgery. Give me a chest tube, stat! Most Excessive Use of Cold Puns: "Batman and Robin" Same movie, with honors going to Mr. Arnold Schwarzenegger. Chill. Gay Guy Who the Largest Number of Women Fell For: Rupert Everett Rupert Everett's portrayal of Julia Roberts's homosexual friend in "My Best Friend's Wedding" made audi- ences everywhere swoon. Most Pointlessly Long Movie Title: "I Know What You Did Last Summer" The all-time champion in this cat- egory is "To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything, Julie Newmar." But last summer's "I Know What You Did Last Summer" comes close. A bit of advice for all the aspiring title writ- ers out there: Despite evidence to the contrary, U.S. movie audiences aren't completely asinine, and some of the plot can be left to our collec- tive discernment. Let's try to stick to one or two words. Maybe "I Know." or "Last Summer," or heck, if you're feeling particularly uninspired, "What You." 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