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April 16, 1998 - Image 21

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The Michigan Daily, 1998-04-16

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Th Michigat! Daily Best of AnnArbor 49

30B- The Michian DailysBest of Ann Arbor 1998 - Thubsday, April 16,1998
U Best of Daily Arts
Daily Arts keeps readers readmg feelmg the joy and pain of arts


* Why do people go to concerts?
Do they go solely because of the
music? Do they go only to see the per-
former up close and in the flesh? Or
do they simply go just for the 'joi de
vivre' concert experience?
In the case of Morrissey, fans
flock to the concerts because they
have no choice. They travel from
great distances because they know
that Morrissey has touched them.
They wait around his hotel because
they admire his ability to champion
the small shy body inside us all.
They swarm around his tour bus
before sound check because they
understand that Morrissey is one of
the most important rock icons of this

generation. They go to see Stephen
Patrick Morrissey simply because it
is something they have to do. '
- From "Wizard of Moz: Morrissey
hypnotizes Hill with eerie,
evocative set," by Brian Cohen,
Sept. 26, 1997
* Short of ballroom dance
lessons in the Michigan Union or
Ypsilanti's square dance club, it's
been. a while since there's been any
new dance movement in and around
Ann Arbor.
Until tonight.
The doors of the Liquid Lounge are
set to open at 10 p.m., inaugurating
the arrival of club and techno music

on the Ann Arbor night scene.
- From "Liquid Lounge makes
splashy jump into dry A2 club
scene," by Stephanie Jo Klein,
Oct. 29, 1997
* The witching hour.
The time of night when weird
things happen. When a full moon can
transform young, unsuspecting col-
lege students into wild, raving party
In the wee hours of Saturday morn-
ing, at the stroke of midnight, amidst
the light snow that was falling, the
most unlikely of outcomes came true.
Adam Sandler finally showed his face
in Ann Arbor. The comedian/musician

from Saturday Night Live and such
movies as "Billy Madison" and
"Happy Gilmore" had cancelled his
previous engagement last month due
to a bout of laryngitis. But on the
final stop of his tour promoting his
new album, "What's Your Name?,"
Sandler made it on stage ... for one
hour. Yes, Sandler played for all of an
hour in front of 4,000 screaming fans
in Hill Auditorium, who shelled out
upwards of S15 to listen to eight
songs. Do the math.
- From "Sandler disappoints with
sloppy show" by Gabriel Smith,
Nov. 24, 1997
* Mark Waters, director of what
may be the first cinematic incest com-
edy, "The House of Yes," is weird. Or
at least that's what his mom thinks.
"I showed this movie to my mother
and my aunts, who are 60 years old
and live in Indiana, and I was very
amused at how much they liked it. As
my mom put it, 'Well, you know,
there's not too much cussing in it or
anything. Sure, it's weird, but you're
weird - and it's funny.' That's my
mom, though, who's a little biased."
- From "Director Waters puts
'House'on market" by Bryan Lark,
Dec. 10, 1997
"Dawson's Creek" is like a post-
card. The city in the photograph
seems beautiful, interesting and
clean. The reality is most often dirtier,
more boring and uglier, but those
aren't the qualities you would look for
in a post card.
The WB network's newest, and
quite honestly, best show presents a
picture-perfect version of reality. It's
not fake so much as it has been doc-
tored for aesthetic effect.
- From "Sex, dialogue drive WB's
brilliantly hormonal 'Dawson'," by
Michael Galloway, Jan. 27, 1998
* I was in the 5th grade when my
friend Zack let me borrow an Andrew
Dice Clay tape and at the time, I
laughed my ass off. Looking back, 1
think it was for two reasons that I was
in tears: He swore (a lot) and he
talked about female body parts.
I still love a good, crass joke, but
when I went down to the State Theatre
in Detroit to see Dice perform on Feb.
27, 1 realized I am no longer a 12-
year-old boy and Dice is clearly past
his prime, or should I say, climax.
- From "Old, fat Dice isn 't worth
the price," by Reilly Brennan,
March 9, 1998
* Psychotherapist and author Amy
Bloom has reinvented love.
Expanding on a previously published
short story, Bloom's debut novel,
"Love Invents Us," explores often-
overlooked aspects of love found in
everyday life.
The seemingly effortless expansion
on Bloom's recurrent themes found in
"Love Invents Us" were read by the
author herself in front of a 50-mem-
ber audience at Shaman Drum
Bookshop on Monday.
The shift from short story to novel

has not been without some difficulties
for Bloom. "Novels are very differ-
ent," Bloom said at the reading. "It's a
big playground, and there are a lot
more rides. It has a different shape
and has to stay connected in different
Despite her concerns about the
transition, Bloom has woven the most
delightful elements of her popular
short stories - believable human
characters, idiosyncratic plots, sharp
wit - into "Love Invents Us" seam-
- From "Bloom blossoms in latest
novel," by Amy D. Haves,
Jan. 21, 1998
* Claude Monet, largely known to
college students through calendars
and dorm-room posters, is considered
the founder of Impressionism and still
looms large in the art world today.
Last week, his work became the focus
of one the biggest exhibitions ever at
the University's Museum of Art:
"Monet at Vtheuil: The Turning
Point" finally hit Ann Arbor after
years of planning and preparation.
The show, the Museum's first-ever
ticketed exhibition, is unprecedented
in the Museum's history and expected
to draw fans of the artist from around
the country.
The Monet show is small, featuring
only 12 works. But the show is of
great importance as it brings these
pieces together for the first time since
they left the artist's studio. "Monet at
Vtheuil" not only highlights a turn-
ing point in the artist's career but also
features some works that have never
before left their respective galleries.
- From "Monet behind the scenes;
After two years ofplanning,
research, Monet works reunited at
Art Museum," bv Anitha Chalamn and
Anna Kovalszki, Jan. 29, 1998
* Sometimes I forget why mid-
season replacement shows are, well,
mid-season replacement shows. A
big thank you and a dead trout for
NBC are in order for refreshing my
memory with their abysmally clichd
sitcom "For Your Love."
Just imagine the pitch to the NBC
programming heads now. "Uh. Mr.
Littlefield, how about a sitcom with a
racially heterogenous cast that
exploits every mildly amusing mar-
riage stereotype until the joke has
long since ceased to be funny?" Toss
in Holly (wife of former Detroit Lion
Rodney) Peete, nee Robinson and
Michelle Pfeiffer's underachieving
younger sister DeDee and you've got
a marriage destined for divorce court.
- From "NBC's new 'Love' is des-
tined for divorce," by Erin Podolsk;
March 24, 1998
* Simply put, "L.A. Confidential"
has the best acting, writing and direct-
ing of the year, hands down, and it
would be criminal if the Academy
recognized another film as Best
- From "Picture this! Five nomi-
nees face off" by Matthew Barrett,
March 23, 1998

I've been privileged enough to be
on the receiving end of many words
of wisdom over the years - some
words more wise than others.
When I was a little kid, an old
friend of my dad used to tell me I
should eat a lot of bread crust
because it would grow hair on my
I've eaten a fair amount of bread
crust over the span of my life, and I
have indeed grown a bit of chest hair.
Now, if I only knew what to eat to
keep the hair on my head growing,
I'd be all set.
In grade school, I used to have a
friendwho cursed a lot.uHaving been
brought up never to use bad lan-
guage, I asked him why he always
swore. He told me that words were
just words, and they didn't really
mean anything.
Considering I want to find some
kind of job as a writer, that doesn't
bode too well for my future.
A Great Books TA (they called
them TAs back in the olden days),
giving me advice about my major,
told me that even though a lot of peo-
ple say you shouldn't choose a pro-
fession just for the money, he'd never
heard anyone complain about having
too much of it.
As I creep closer and closer to the
unemployment line, an English
degree soon to be in my sweaty little
hands, I think to myself, If only I had
been an engineer. And then I think ...
At a family wedding reception, my
grandfather turned to me while we
sat at our table, the laughter and
music of celebration surrounding us,
and gave me these wise words in his
broken English: "Women ...
Napoleon says, women, dey are de
cause of all disease in de world. All
war. All tings bad, dey come from
women." My grandnother sat next to
him, smiling with a wide and tolerant
Sedo (this is Arabic for 'grandfa-
ther'), I must say - I've gotten my
hopes up many a time. I've come
close, very close, to being extremely
happy in a relationship with a
woman. But so far in my life, as sad
as it may sound, you're right.
My mom tells me all the time:
"You should smile more often.
You've got a beautiful smile. After



all, that's how I fell in love with your
father - I saw him smile across a
room at a party."
Maybe she has a point. Then again,
my parents are divorced.
But perhaps the best words of wis-
dom I've ever heard came from my
dad himself. And at the time, I must
admit, I was quite skeptical. My dad
earned many degrees. He never did
anything nearly as impractical as
major in English; instead, he earned
a Ph.D. in aerospace engineering,
along with a D.D.S. from the
Michigan Dental School.
Needless to say, he was in college
for a very long time. But he didn't
mind. In fact, he loved it. And so,
he's told me on occasion: "My col-
lege years were the best years of my
I know. It sounds cliched. But my
dad doesn't spew forth cliches too
often, so I took him seriously. But
back in high school, I always thought
to myself, How could that be true?
For as long as he went to school, his
education really only amounts to a

small fraction of his life.
Compared to his successful job,
his family, all the traveling he does
now - how could going to college
really match that? Could it really be
that much better? Could it really be
that good?
I didn't believe him. I thought
there was something wrong with
him. But now, as graduation looms
nearer and nearer, as my senior year
turns slowly but surely into my
senior week, and then my senior day,
and then my last senior minute, I
realize one simple thing:
He was right.
And I don't want to leave!
Grad school? A double major?
Maybe I can even start over fresh,
and go for that engineering degree.
What about the psych department -
I'm sure they could use some kind of
full-time human guinea pig to exper-
iment on. Lord knows I've got
enough problems for 10 or 20 decent
Anything! I'll do anything to stay
here! Just give me another year!

Another semester, even! I swear
that'll be enough. Just not right now.
Not yet.
I'm not ready for the real world,
unemployment or a job I can't stand
anyway. I'm not ready for wearing a
seedy, phony smile when I talk to
people I don't like, just because I've
got to "network." I'm not ready to
deal with people 20 years older than
I am on a regular basis - with
stomachs two times bigger than my
entire body, or with flabby breasts
sagging down to their yellowed toe-
nails (I'm speaking of men and
women, here).
I'm not ready to wear polyester
pants that I pull up too high. I'm not
ready to argue with my next-door
neighbor about where you can buy
the cheapest garden hose (although I
hear Ace Hardware is having a great
sale ...). I'm not ready to resort to
singles adds or singles bars or sin-
gles anything, just to meet some girl
with "big bones" whose two front
teeth are missing.
I want to be young, dammit! I want

Y~e Mt4[Pclgrn n tIg
Best of
Ann Arbor

Best of Ann Arbor Editors:

Emily Lambert Eliz

Best of Ann Arbor Associate Editor: Christopher Tkaczyk.
Writers: Joanne Alnajjar, Amy Barber, Brian Cohen, Jessica Eaton, Chris1
Hall, Stephanie Jo Klein, Kristin Long, Ryan Malkin, Joshua Pederson and
Photographers: Louis Brown, Mallory S.E. Floyd, John Kraft, Kevin Krupii
Myers, Emily Nathan, Nathan Ruffer, Sara Stillman, Paul Talanian, Adriar
Cover photos (clockwise from top left): The Law Quad (file photo); Superi
Tyler of Aerosmith (by Warren Zinn); the Ohio State football game (by Wa
Action rally (by Sara Stillman); Michigan hockey goaltender Marty Turco {
Arts Editors: Bryan Lark and Kristin Long.
Special Sections Manager: Jamie Kribs.
Editor in Chief: Laurie Mayk.

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