ftawfehdtwun tg Gratzi restaurant at 326 S. Main presents a unique interpretation of Andrew Lloyd Webber's "Phantom of the Opera" this evening through Jan. 17. Featuring "Phantom" performances by nationally renowned artists, Gratzi reclaims its theatrical heritage by presenting Webber's musical in three segments - at 7, 8 and 9 p.m. There's no addition- al charge, but make reservations to guarantee seating. 663-5555. Tuesday January 13, 1998 5 Bond blasts back in 'Tomorrow' By Joshua Rich Daily Arts Writer Recently skimming through an anthology of :film reviews, I came across Pauline Kael's com- ents regarding director Roger Spottiswoode's third movie, a 1983 jungle warfare thriller called "Under Fire. "Everything is thought out and pre- ared, but it isn't explicit, it isn't labored, and it certainly isn't overcomposed," Kael wrote. I am surprised, thus, that a director of Spottiswoode's notable skill and demeanor would lend his talents to a James Bond film, a project that undoubtedly renders insignificant the individual efforts of its cast and crew in Tomoi Ai RE At Briar Theme" plays almost continuously throughout this picture - more than in just about any other - as if its creators wanted to keep reminding us that this is a Bond film. They're wasting their time: After a shaky start in 1995's "Goldeneye," Pierce Brosnan seems more comfortable in the role this time around, spouting off familiar lines like "Bond, James Bond" with conviction, rarely looking like some hack who is just impersonating Sean Connery. V I E W The Bond formula's basic elements, as established in rrow Never "From Russia with Love" DieS and "Goldfinger," are also ***I all here -- exotic locales, rwood and Showcase beautiful women, witty and evil rivals, stuffy British bureaucrats and a few breathtaking action sequences make this, unmistakably, a Bond flick. (In the style of "Live and Let Die" and "A View to a Kill," it even has a ridiculous title that sounds very cool and means very little). After stumbling through their past four Bond installments, the film's producers vainly struggle to have you believe that this is a "new" Bond (a man for the '90s), yet everything remains basical- ly the same. And that's just fine. "Tomorrow Never Dies" takes Bond back to the Orient, the site of "You Only Live Twice" and "The Man with the Golden Gun," among others. It is no surprise that after 18 films, self-referen- tiality has started knocking. And why not? The important characterizations (Bond, M, Q, Moneypenny) and motifs of any James Bond movie were established decades ago in other movies. Reminding us of those acts just makes everything more immediate. As in "Goldeneye," the Cold War is still over and Bond is still struggling to find an enemy lurk- ing somewhere in the shadows of the world. So he heads to Vietnam, where he rides across the rooftops of cardboard shacks (on a BMW motor- cycle, of course), and finds the villain (Jonathan Pryce), a deranged media mogul whose dastardly plan is to force a war between East and West so that he may launch his new information empire with big headlines. The superior Pryce is wasted on his character, Elliot Carver, a cartoonish buf- foon who would better fit in drooling alongside Jack Nicholson and Adam West in some "Batman" reunion flick. He is the movie's only substantial casualty. Enter the women. The affectless Teri Hatcher is on screen long enough to take off her dress, gri- mace a few times and get snuffed. More fortunate is Hong Kong action star Michelle Yeoh, the first primary Bond woman without white skin, as a Chinese agent simultaneously tracking the suspi- cious Carver. The ladies are nice set pieces, and Yeoh even holds her own against a throng of mar- tial arts baddies at one point, much to James' chauvinistic surprise. Our buddies back in London also make their requisite appearances, at the appointed times. M, in the form of Dame Judi Dench, sends Bond on his mission at the beginning (thankfully less con- rder to achieve - and, more importantly, main- ain - the inherent style of the James Bond char- acter. By definition - and out of necessity - Bond films certainly are thought out and prepared, but they rely heavily on an explicitness, laboriousness and overcomposition that is virtually unmatched in contemporary cinema. After all, over more than 35 years Bond has become a pop phenomenon, traversing some 18 films, showing no sign of let- ting up. And Spottiswoode's "Tomorrow Never Dies" while it does little to showcase its director's ealents (as we shouldn't expect any Bond film to be the product of an auteur, per se), ranks among the best of the seriously campy lot. Monty Norman's familiar "James Bond James Bond (Pierce Brosnan) never dies - but he'd be glad to blow your head clean off. cerned with the fact that he is a misogynistic "dinosaur," as she was so quick to point out in "Goldeneye"). Soon thereafter, Moneypenny (Samantha Bond) makes eyes at James, but still has the guts to amusingly allude to his notorious sexual dalliances - she must be a big "Octopussy" fan. Then, in the moment everybody anticipates, 82-year-old Desmond Llewelyn waltzes back on screen for the 16th time as Q (surprisingly a little more lively than he has seemed in recent years), to present Bond with his gadgets: a special cellu- lar telephone and a remote-controlled Beemer that Bond can drive with his thumb. Half-an-hour later, Bond finds himself involved in the most exciting and inventive auto chase in recent years, as he maneuvers his car through a covered parking lot, eluding - and killing - most of the bad guys, all by remote control. "Tomorrow Never Dies" thereby suc- ceeds, and the rest of the film is thrilling, hi-tech set dressing. Weak 'Firestorm' blows itself out Return to sender: 'Postal' shoots blanks y Matthew Barrett aily Arts Writer Would you pay money to watch Bruce Willis play football for the Oakland Raiders? Of course not. So why would any- one get the idea that former football player Howie Long would make a good lead for an action movie is beyond me. But they did, and the result is the dreadful and weakly devel- oped "Firestorm." Howie Long stars as smokejumper Jesse. A smokejumper is one who jumps into the heart of fires when it is no longer possible to access them from the ground. The character is really nothing more than a rough and lough guy with a soft spot hidden somewhere in his heart. He can punch, jumpkick and fight bad guys with the best, yet when he sees a little girl inside a burning house he sees no option other than risking his life to save her. The main nemesis of Jesse is Shaye (William Forsythe), a prisoner who breaks free while fighting a forest fire in the wilderness. Forsythe tries'to play the part of cool, smooth intimidator, someone who could bring the world to its knees with a single glance. It doesn't work. The character is supposed to be the smart mastermind :hind a prison break, but he never comes off as anything but 'nidiot. Shaye somehow stole and hid 37 million dollars before he went to jail and has promised part of it to people who help him make the escape work. The fellow prisoners with whom he surrounds himself are no better, as they accept all the lame answers that Shaye gives them for their questions about the money. The plot involves the prison break, the taking hostage of Jennifer (Suzy Amis) and the inevitable conflict between Jesse and the prisoners. The story isn't very well developed, and by the end it's iaterialized as nothing more than a few people chasing each other around R E in a forest of burning trees. The dia- logue is awful. Usually a few funny one liners can be counted on during an action movie, but there really aren't any here. The cat and mouse game that At Briar, develops between Jesse and Shaye is never allowed to take off or become anything new or cre- ative. By the end, things have boiled down to Jesse wanting stop Shaye because it's the right thing to do and Shaye wanting to kill Jennifer because she knows his planned route of escape. "Firestorm" has one big plot twist, but it comes out of nowhere and there really weren't any clues leading up to it. Postal Ripcord Windows '95 CD-ROM The first glance at the box of the CD-ROM game "Postal" says it all. The title is stamped in big, bold red let- tering with simulated bullet holes surrounding it. This is a shame in and of itself. The men and women that sort and deliver the mail around the United States certainly receive a bad rap, even after the rash of incidents that have taken place in the last 10 years. Our postal workers do a fine job. Fans of gaming expect creativity and innovation from creators each and every time. Does a game have network- ing capabilities? Are there multiple options available? Are there many characters to choose from? From what point of view does the game take place? All of these things are important, and for "Postal," it fails in several categories. On the bright side, the idea behind "Postal" is a good one. "Postal" literally attacks you from a third-person point-of-view unlike popular first-person games such as "Quake," "Doom," "Duke Nukem" and "Marathon." It's unfortunate that "Postal" doesn't improve on them-- the graphics are extremely choppy and detached. The singular purpose of the game is to kill as many peo- ple as possible. As the player wanders through the various settings, he faces many people out to do him in. They have inordinate amounts of firepower, complete with rocket launchers, machine guns, and flamethrowers. Since the world is out to get the main character, he has to eliminate everyone else before they get him. There's even the option of executing your enemies while they writhe in pain screaming. How original. Ripcord Productions fails and fails miserably in its attempt to profit off of all the hoopla in the news about crazy postal workers. There really aren't any redeeming features, and in an age of rising creativity within gaming "Postal" is a huge flop. i 1 i i { i G Cabiel ;wp~u SI' "Let's get out of here, kid! Terry Bradshaw's 'Home Team' is on in 10 minutest," yells Howie Long in "Firestorm." Unfortunately, the twist is gone about as quickly as it came when the suspicious character is knocked off. The makers of the movie would have been much better off if they took the twist and fleshed it out in order to give the viewer a more compelling and interesting moviegoing expe- rience. First-time director Dean Semler has a few clever shots throughout the movie, but /I E W they are few and far between. One such Firestorm sequence involves Jesse emerging from the water and throwing an ax with two hands at * the enemy. The surroundings are very dark and there is a great deal of fire in the back- ood and showcase ground, which helps make the shot look even better. Too bad that the scene was in every advertisement or preview for the movie. "Firestorm" is a horrendous movie with weak dialogue, direction, and acting. The villain isn't scary or the least bit intimidating, which makes it all the harder to care about the dull and boring hero. There isn't anything memorable about the picture, but it does provide a good example of why ath- letes should stick to sports. B~rk14 J _... _. _... _.....__ 1 MOMTrGo,3aYv'v' 00 F ALOV}YE: )O NEArRT": ONE GREA.TFI4R1Two-.'U ilr's TIL4T TMIE OF TwARV WI:rK TUISAMOS OF SlltVEN*TS COWy TO JAWAICA TO FEWL AMRGIIt - PFOR AK N. lU*B~lVABLw FJViCrJ! 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