4B - The Michigan Daily Weekend Magazine - Thursday, February 19, 1998 2 Weekend, etc. Column 0 0 0 The Michigan Daily Weekend WHERE DID OUR YOUTH Go. Entetanent News Pearl Jam plans tour; Stone weds journalist It finally hit me the other day. I woke up after a full seven hours of sleep, barely able to move. My legs ached. My back was sore. I had this unexplainable, nagging pain in my left shoulder. There was a ringing noise in my right ear. I hadn't played any sports the night before. The fatigue wasn't caused by intense physical exertion or strain. I didn't get to sleep late - last night's bedtime was a conservative midnight. I thought back to my days as a care- free, sprightly freshman. Back in the olden days, I thought, I would stay up until 4 or 5 in the morning for no bet- ter reason than to talk to a friend. Then I'd wake up, bright and fresh and rarin' to go the next day, and be perfectly on time for class at 9. At 9 in the morning. Now I can barely even wake up for class at noon. Ah, I thought to myself wistfully, the good ol' days ... And then I realized it. The good ol' days? Random pains? Exhaustion on seven hours of sleep? There could only be one answer. I'm getting old. The horror of the revelation shook me so hard that I began to cry. At least, I thought I did. I went to wipe away the tears from my eyes but real- ized my tear ducts were too old and decrepit to produce liquid any more. The only thing that fell from the cor- ners of my eyes was yellow crust from last night's ineffectual sleep. That was when I really began to wallow. Twenty-one years old, I cried (or attempted to cry). Why, just yes- terday, it seemed, I was 18. And the day before that, 15. And the day before that, 8. Ah, the third grade. Now, those were the days. What had happened? What had gone wrong? I stroked the whiskers on my chin. Could it be the facial hair? Maybe I should take the advice so many of my female friends had given me and shave the beast, I thought. I've been told that ' people have beards to hide some psychological scar that occurred in their life. I'm much more simple than # that. I'm just trying to hide my face. No, I thought, it couldn't be the goatee. After all, I've F had that since I was a fresh- man, when my steps still possessed their youthful bounce. It was something more. Something deeper. Something that went beyond even my mighty facial hair. Something that went beyond wrinkles in the corners of my eyes, aching muscles and dried-up tear ducts. Something that even went beyond the utter doom of my impending hair loss. Now, all you faithful readers of my humble column - including my mother, that makes about, oh ... one - are probably expecting me to say C'i1Y LIMITS Inside the Clarion Hotel 2900 Jackson Rd., Ann Arbor, MI { F 7A something quirky or unusual. Something mildly unusual or perhaps even humorous in a childish, imma- ture age. Sorry. It's official: I'm old. No more quirks, no more surprises, no more laughs. Just a broken down old rocking chair, a bucket of tepid water for my varicose-vein- covered feet and a soiled, week-old diaper for yours truly. In fact, I don't think I can even muster up enough energy to finish this thing. Shooting pains travel down to my fingertips with each tap of the keyboard. My eyes are straining to deci- CHRIS pher words on a screen that's FARAH just a foot and a half away RAH'S from my face. A.UCMT I'm cold and hungry, and I want to go home. Had enough of my whining yet? I certainly have. You see, that's what really distinguishes the old from the young: complaining. Taking your- self too seriously. Plain and simple. The older I get, the more every- thing around me gets more important and more consequential. The more people make more demands to realize the seriousness of this, or the necessi- ty of that. And the more I get just plain sick of it. A week ago, Ann Arbor was blessed with some of the nicest weather l've seen in February since I was born, 21 long years ago. Not only was it warm, not only was the snow melting, but the sun was shining. I could breathe the air outdoors without worrying about icicles forming on the ends of my mustache (OK, so facial hair does have some disadvantages). You know how I took advantage of it? I worked. Hour after beautiful hour went by, and I sat inside, staring at it through a Drink S peas Ever ight No Cover 'till 10 dL Nite Friday and Saturday rs.4:3-2am Mon-Sat S-2am Sun Thano's Lamplighter * Ann Arbor's Original Sicilian Pizza " Full Greek Menu NIGHTLY SPECIALS Mon. & Tues. 30% off all Pizza &a FREE soft drink window. Actually, I was lucky just to have a window to stare out. Most of the time, I was stuck in some lecture hall or another, listening to a generic old man with a beard thicker than mine talk about things that happened in a far-removed land 200 years before I was born. As the birds chirped outside, I was forced to take notes. Notes on some speech that tried its hardest to fit the word "socioeconomic" into every other sentence, just so it could seem a little more self-important or intellec- tual. And you know what? I put up with it. I sat in that lecture hall, and I thought about walking out. I thought about standing up in the middle of class, throwing my notebook into the air and declaring in front of the whole assembly, "Dammit, who cares about what some dead people did a couple centuries ago! It's an awesome day outside, and we're young! Screw this crap!" But did I say anything? Did I move a muscle, aside from those wrapped around my furiously scribbling pen? Did I enjoy the beautiful weather? No. I just sat there. Maybe I paused for a second, but ultimately I just kept on writing. Kept on listening to a bunch of pseudo-intellectual drivel. Kept on getting old. Because even though a lot of us are in our early 20s or late teens, we've already resigned ourselves to an elderly fate of worrying about stocks, bonds and the future, and letting some nurse change our bedpans when we relieve our bladders of stale urine in the middle of the night. We get caught up in our studies, our future careers and our relation- ships. We spend our youth in worry and anxiety before there's really ever anything to worry about. If you ever watch little kids play - even those just starting grade school - you'll realize that nothing we do is really much more significant than that with which they preoccupy them- selves. As we get older, we start families. We have one of a number of jobs. Maybe we work for a construction company. Maybe we write for a paper. Maybe we're lawyers or doctors or professional athletes. Children play house. They build with blocks or Tinker Toys. The gos- sips become journalists, the arguing brats become lawyers, the ones who like sports become athletes. When they get upset about some- thing, as adults we tell them to relax. Take it easy. It's no big deal. Maybe we should start taking our own advice. Save the bedpans, aching muscles and stiff joints for when we're really old and outdated. Like 26. Thirty, if you're lucky. - Chris Farah can be reached over e- mail at cjfarah@unich.edu. He'lli respond when his aches and pains stop acting up. Music V If you aren't a member of the esteemed Ten Fan Club, or if you haven't been willing to shell out hundreds of dollars for scalped tick- ets, then you probably haven't had the opportunity to see Pearl Jam play live. But that might change before too long, as the band has announced details of an expansive U.S. tour beginning June 20 in Missoula, Mont. Playing at mostly outdoor amphitheatres and colise- ums, the 33-date "Yield" tour will see the band traveling to virtually all areas of the country as well as two cities in Canada, making it Pearl Jam's largest U.S. excursion since 1992's tour in support of the band's debut album, "Ten." The band still intends to avoid dealing with Ticketmaster at all possible venues, but it will have to acquiesce in cer- tain larger cities to better accomo- date the massive demand for tickets. That demand has only showed signs of increasing. After months of waiting and speculation for the release of its fifth album, "Yield" was finally released Feb. 3. Soundscan reported that it sold more than 350,000 copies in its first week. The "Yield" tour will first move into the Midwest, stopping in the Pacific Northwest and California during July. Then, it's back to the Midwest in August, hitting Montreal and Toronto before finishing up on the East Coast in mid-September. The first official shows for the tour will be in Maui, Hawaii on Feb. 20 and 21, followed by a tour of Australia and New Zealand that will last until the end of March. Pearl Jam will play the Breslin Student Events Center in East Lansing, Mich. on Aug.18. / The Verve and All Saints were the big winners at this year's Brit Awards, held last week at the Docklands Arena in London. The Verve took home awards for best group, best album ("Urban Hymns"), and best producer Chris Potter. Film ~ Wedding bells were ringing this past weekend, albeit very quietly, for "Basic Instinct" femme fatale Sharon Stone. The Valentine's weekend brought not only the release of her latest film, "Sphere'" but also the hush-hush affair at which Stone wed newspaper editor Phil Bronstein. / Also in the nuptial news, Oscar nominee Jack Nicholson is looking to settle down after 60 years as a bachelor. It is rumored that the golf-club-wielding star of such crazy classics as "The Shining" and "One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest" will marry Rebecca Broussard, the mother of Nicholson's two children. A tip for Broussard: Any trips to Colorado hideaways in the win- ter might be ill-advised ideas. / As if one Leonardo DiCaprio wasn't enough! "The Man in the Iron Mask," the film version of Alexandre Dumas' sequel to "The Three Musketeers," is scheduled for release in March. DiCaprio, fresh off his new- found "Titanic" stardom, will play both the youthful king of France and his twin brother, Philippe. DiCaprio dons frighteningly flowing hair for his role as Louis XIV, asking the audience to once again question not only his sexuality, but his sex. Gerard Depardieu, John Malkovich and Jeremy Irons will co-star. V Kevin Smith, the director of the low-budget hit "Clerks," is testing other waters. Like the heroes of "Chasing Amy," which he also direct- ed, Smith is the creator of two comic books. "Jay and Silent Bob" chroni- cles the adventures of the snide loiter- er and his close-mouthed companion. "Clerks" continues the exploits of the main characters of the aforementioned film. Smith has also done a stint with Marvel's "Daredevil" series and plans to assist in the production of DC's "Green Arrow" later in the year. - Compiled by Daily Music Editor Brian Cohen and Daily Film Editor Joshua Pederson. The Associated Press and Entertainment Weekly contributed to this report. Top 10 movies (for the weekend of Feb. 13 to Feb.15) 1. "Titanic," $27.5 million (nine weeks in theaters) 2. "The Wedding Singer," $18.5 mil- lion (1) 3. "Sphere," $15.2 million (1) 4. "Good Will Hunting," $8.2 mil- lion (7) 5. "As Good as it Gets," $6.5 mil- lion (8) 6. "The Borrowers," $4.8 million (1) 7. "Replacement Killers," $4.3 mil- lion (2) 8. "Great Expectations," $3.4 mil- lion (3) 9. "Blues Brothers 2000," $3.2 mil- lion (2) 10. "Wag the Dog," $2.75 million (7) Source: The Associated Press Billboard Top 10 (top albums for the week ending Feb. 15, 1997) 1. "Titanic" soundtrack (nine weeks on chart) 2. Pearl Jam, "Yield" (1) 3. Celine Dion, "Let's Talk About Love" (12) 4. Spice Girls, "Spiceworld" (12) 5. Usher, "My Way" (21) 6. Matchbox 20, "Yourself Or Someone Like You" (49) 7. Backstreet Boys, "Backstreet Boys" (26) 8. Savage Garden, "Savage Garden" (43) 9. Mase, "Harlem World" (15) 10. Will Smith, "Big Willie Style" (53) Source: Billboard Magazine Dear Harlan, Please, you HAVE to h the last place I can turn. I love this girl, I mean know I'm only 13 years people don't think I knov but I really do love her. I I She dumped me, even thing was perfect. I rei about getting an ex back. past being with her. It's that I want her to like m need her to love me. I kn she really cares for me, b think she's just trying to cool. This is the most impor thing in my life. If I c have her, my will to liv dwindling. Please, help m - Young and in & Dear Young, Honestly, you're scar me. Never question youi even your will to love. Ify talk to someone immedia ily, friends or a counselo for help at (800) 999-999 Now, regarding this wl tion, everyone defines While the definition for different than that of a 43 still love. And as good as it felt, it can get. The pain may s+ and the tears endless, bu there and we've all surviv It's like stubbing you steel door, only the hurt you're still able to Eventually, the pain will always watch your step m fully. You don't NEED any but yourself. Really, it's hi gain. Not only will you be son, but with each love ax Wed. 20% off all Greek Entrees 421 E. Liberty 996-0555 open 7 days ;..jSeaf :s.: rag:o.":", ,in I::a.:. "With University enrollment standing at 18,593 at the end of the1 yesterday that final registration figures for this semester would to Increases in seven of the 14 schools and colleges in the Universit spring semester decline ... Men outnumber the women approxima- U.".. ""'ourtesy of"pic "e"ords"adAddictedtoNois Pearl Jam will rock East Lansing's Breslin Center on Aug. 18.