1"2B - The Michigan Daily WeekendMagazine - Thursday, February 12, 1998 0- The Michigan Daily WeekeitM M I Television Feature WBs s'Three' crowds airwaves R Books Feature Beyond dinner and flowers, creative Valentine's gits abound By Michael Galloway Daily Arts Writer When you take a dashing jewel thief, a streetwise and street-tough femme fatale and a super computer hacker, you have cliche cubed. If they're working for a secret government agency in order to repay their debt to society, you may just have reached a whole new level of uno- riginal television programming. "Three," the new action series on the WB network, makes up for its lack of originality with a lot of enthusiasm and a cool soundtrack. Each week, this trio commits crimes in order to stop crime, and they use the most advanced techno- logical doodads and trendiest fashions in their missions. The enigmatic organizationsemploy- ing these three wishes to preserve the economic and political "status quo,' which could be viewed as a good thing. These three criminals were chosen according to computer simulations that predicted they would be an .eu n s t opp abl1e- force as a team. Three The mysterious organization has no interest in just one or two of The WB Network them. If any one Mondays at 9 p.m. of them refuses an assignment, the Feds will be provided with enough evidence to convict all three of them. Don't Congressmen work under a similar contract? A shrewd older gentleman known only as "The Man" gives them their assignments and provides what informa- tion and resources they need. All you lit- tle Leonardo DiCaprio junkies will rec- ognize this actor, David Warner, from his role in "Titanic" as Cal Hockley's (Billy Zane) valet. In "Three," Warner is the one who contacts each of the three main characters in turn, giving them an invita- tion that says their "presence is cordially required" at a certain address and time in New York City. Art and jewel thief extraordinaire Jonathan Vance (Edward Atterton) turned to thrill-seeking after his wife died. He is highly educated, highly cul- tured and highly English. Amanda Webb (Julie Bowen), who viewers might rec- ognize from "Happy Gilmore" and "An American Werewolf in Paris' is a grifter who ruins men, "both financially and emotionally," due to the abuse she suf- fered as a child. Finally, there's Marcus Ezekiel Miller (Bumper Robinson), the illicit philanthropist. This African American computer hacker reroutes shipments of food, appliances and clothing being delivered to rich people, sending them to the poor. You've got to love this guy just for being named Bumper. But neither Bumper, Atterton, Bowen nor Warner provide stellar perfor- mances. Bowen's acting, especially, often falls below mediocre. To be fair, the scripts aren't great either, so the cast has that to overcome. A talented actor would make it work. Is the show believable? Not even remotely. Is it provocative? Quite the opposite, actually. Is there any reason to go out of your way to watch it? No. Since this show is competing with "Ally McBeal" and, eventually, "Monday Night Football:' "Three" doesn't have a bright future. The show's plot holes and cliches work together in a way that make it per- versely entertaining. "Three" is a televi- sion comic book. As long as it keeps the action and suspense at a fast pace, it could be around for a while, especially on the WB Network. Besides, it's always fun to watch someone break through a seemingly impenetrable secu- rity system and commit the perfect crime. Wanted: Apphcants for 1998 MICIA ONEY atKYU Mi i3 11 Age; 7~2~yers old Prizes : $500 and a free trip to Nashvlle, TN. For applications call Judy Schmaltz (248) 627-4556 Courtesy of New Une Cinema Dustin Hoffman cooks up a Hollywood-style war in "Wag the Dog." D.C. novels parallel recent sex scandals By Renatt Brodsky For the Daily "Will you be my Valentine?" It's a generic question and it may sound a bit cheesy, but on Feb. 14 this Hallmark clich6 is the most popular question asked. Let's face it - who doesn't want a Valentine on Valentine's Day? It's the one day of the year when Cupid's not sleeping because he's too busy shoot- ing his arrow at people who need a bit of romance in their lives. If you are lucky enough to become lovestruck, get ready to make some sizzling moments with the one who makes you feel extra groovy. A bottle of wine, a'single red rose and a card that says, "I love you," are the simple gestures that can make a couple's Valentine's Day a bit more romantic. But those who want to be extra romantic could ask their honey to marry them on this special day for love. Lauri Young, an employee at the campus University Flower Shop, said that Valentine's Day is a popular time for a guy to pop the question. It's not rare, she said, for her to attach a dia- mond ring to a bouquet of red roses, with a little card that says, "So, will ya" Why red roses on Valentine's Day? "A rose stands for romance," Young said. Since red is the symbolic color for love, giving your loved one a red rose is one way of expressing your feelings. But even though red is the tradi- tional hue for roses, other colors are becoming quite popular this year, Young said. Some customers have decided to take a different approach by sending bouquets of carnival roses with pink and white flowers, or candy roses, which are yellow with a bright orange edge. Either way, Young said that flowers are the way to a woman's heart. Another idea: Give your honey a mouth-watering experience of a life- time. Rather than ignite his or her sense of smell with flowers, why not work on your partner's taste buds? Presenting a box of chocolate could be the golden ticket to a very intense evening. Jo-Anne Malbut, an employee at the Crown House of Gifts on South State Street, said that something about chocolate triggers one's sensa- tions. Biting into a piece of dark, white or milk chocolate covered with caramel or any gooey topping can make the taste buds go crazy. But if your date's not a chocolate lover, why not have a box of Mrs. Peabody's cookies delivered to his or her house? The store carries a variety of delicious cookies, and Mrs. Peabody's even has a special Valentine cookie filled with maraschino chocolate and a cherry chocolate kiss. Mrs. Peabody's shipping boxes hold up to six cookies. Customers can also send the store's highlight: a giant, 12- inch, heart-shaped cookie with a spe- cial message written on top. Aside from tasting something sen- sational, why not buy your partner something sexy that you as a couple can enjoy, like lingerie. Anything soft to the touch, such as silk, fur or vel- vet, would be appropriate, but make sure to buy your choice in either black, red or pink, the traditional Valentine colors. Also, once people have selected their gifts, Victoria's Secret at Briarwood will wrap the lingerie in Victoria-scented tissue paper and place it in a heart-shaped box. Other cute Valentine's gifts include chocolate-covered roses, bulk candy such as gummy lips or hearts, any kind of jewelry, a picture frame with a photo of you and your partner, or a stuffed animal such as Winnie the Pooh, the Lion King or a Dalmatian that says "I'm your lov- able pup." Anything that your sweet- ie can cuddle up with - besides you - is a gift that will make him or her smile. The Crown House of Gifts, for example, has a variety of Valentine's Day offerings, including mugs that say, "Hug Me," "Be Mine" and "Love Ya." The store also has toast- ing champagne flutes, T-shirts that say "Tickle me," his her pillow cases that say "Wanna" and "I'd love to," tons of candles and, of course, Valentine's cards. So now that the gift is out of the way, what is there to do in Ann Arbor for Valentine's Day? The answer is simple - Main Street, Main Street, Main Street! Ann Arbor can be a fun place for a couple to celebrate the holiday. Restaurants such as The Earle, Sweet L orraine's, Moveable Feast, Gratzi and the West End Grill are good places to wine and dine your date. One of the most romantic places around the Main Street area is The Earle. The restaurant is located in the basement of a 100-year-old brick and stone building, and has a very dark and cozy underground atmosphere. Both French and Italian food is served, but in honor of Valentine's Day, The Earle will offer special desserts such as truffles and straw- berries dipped in chocolate. This kind of dining can be a bit expen- sive, but the Moveable Feast is tout- ing an eight-course meal for a flat- rate fee on Feb. 14. This could prove the perfect, affordable solution. But if a couple would rather spend the night inside together, why not cook a gourmet meal and serve it pic- nic style? That way, lovers can eat whatever they want, avoid the cold Michigan air, listen to favorite tunes and enjoy one another's company in privacy. The most romantic and erotic place to go on Valentine's Day is The Oasis. What could be more spine-tingling than sitting in a warm Jacuzzi, sur- rounded by tropical gardens and a fireplace to keep a couple extra warm? Couples come to Oasis, on South State Street about a five-minute car ride from campus, in search of a mini-vacation. Once inside the hot tub, they feel like they are on a pri- vate island in the Bahamas. After that romantic swim, the two can venture out to a bar such as the Bird of Paradise and have a drink while listening to classical jazz. Or they could head home and cuddle up to cherries and champagne, while Courtesy of the WB Network Edward Atterton (left), Julie Bowen and Bumper Robinson star In "Three." The Los Angeles Times Pity the poor Washington novelist, hunched over his word processor trying to make imagination outfly reality. What invented scenario, what mere con- trivance of plot and character, could rival the unlikely characters and improbable events that have saturated the newspa- pers and airwaves during the last two weeks? Christopher Buckley was coming home on Amtrak, working on a chapter in his new novel that involved a black friend of the president, a smooth fixer- type named Burton Galilee. Buckley happened to glance at the newspaper next to him. There was a story about his character's real-life model, Vernon Jordan, and his involve- ment in the scandal surrounding President Clinton and former White House intern Monica Lewinsky. David Baldacci, author of the popular presidential thriller "Absolute Power,'seconds the notion that "the imagination of even the best fiction writ- ers is constantly usurped by real events. The temptation for the writer is to keep going to such extremes that eventually he loses plausibility completely." Novelists like Buckley and Baldacci know that fiction, more than anything, has to have that plausibility. Events must happen in logical sequence; characters need to be consistent; wild coincidences should be skipped. Even the surprises and sudden twists must be coherent. "I think fiction can compete - bare- ly - with the American political reali- ty,"says Gore Vidal, who's written a half- dozen novels, including "Empire"and "Washington, D.C.,"set in the corridors of power. "But fiction to be good must seem true while reality in our lawyerly media-ized land creates untruth to such an extent that nothing is ever really plau- sible." "It started like most of my life does, as a joke, a one-liner,"says Larry Beinhgrt, the novelist whose work, thanks to Hollywood, neatly anticipated the cur- rent scandal. "I was watching the Gulf War on CNN, and I said, 'Hey, this is a made-for-TV movie.' He can't remember whom he said it to, but he remembers this: She didn't laugh. So he said it to other people. They didn't laugh, either. They seemed to think he was saying, "This is just like a TV movie." But Beinhart meant: "There is a guy somewhere who directed and scripted this." No one understood, so he expanded his joke by a couple of hundred pages into a novel, "American Hero."It was a heavily researched, insanely complicated political satire about how dying Republican strategist Lee Atwater con- cocts the Persian Gulf War with the help of some Hollywood filmmakers, all part of a plot to reelect President Bush. Life is currently imitating art, right down to the possibility that if the United States attacks Iraq, the media will have been primed by the film to suggest that Clinton did so in part to switch the topic from Lewinsky. In a novel, such downer endings are allowed. But if this novel is going to be bought by the movies, a last-minute piece of evidence is necessary to save the day and provide a happy ending. "If it's a made-for-TV movie, I'd have the president go into therapy and come to grips with his inner demons. The last shot would be the president and first lady facing the sunset, chastened but wiser." These three scenarios don't account for something that was often talked about in the first days of the scandal - a Clinton resignation. "That's not fiction,"Beinhart says. "But that may be reality" Just days ago, some pundits thought this a near-certainty. Now that possibility is being discount- ed. Reality has once again sped on. LSA senior Amy Grohowski am University Avenue. watching a classic Valentine f "When Harry Met Sally." If you feel the need to ge get out of Ann Arbor for Va Day, why not drive to the out Cleveland, Ohio and stay i cabin for the weekend? LSA Dave Alpern and Deanna Si spending their Valentine's Punderson National Resort.I ins at the resort seem pract the middle of nowhere, yet fully furnished, complete wit place. "My ideal reason for leavi is so that Deanna and I c complete solitude with time on only on one another," said. If Ohio is too far but a v excursion is tempting, Detroi 40 minutes away. A couple m to stay at The Renaissance Ce dinner in Greektown and see at the Masonic Temple. Doing something creative but remember to keep the h importance intact. As Chodos, a Business senic "Valentine's Day is not about buying things for your sit other. It's about spending qua with the person that you love I - " t Check out some of your options at one of Volunteering and Service Abroad Thursday, February 12 Sponsored with International Center and Ecurneni Gaining Experience in Psychology and Soc Monday, February 16 Sponsored with Undergraduate Psychology Societ Want to investigate more options? Check into othe resources and the CP&P hornepage: w'ww.cpp.umic