fhe Michigan Daily -- Wednesday, October 8, 1997 - 9 Aqua's debut 'Aquarium' is all wet Aqua Aquarium MCA No stars This album is mind-numbingly bad. *'s awful. Sugary, fake and especially predictable. Because all the songs sound almost exac:ly like all the other songs. Things change in them. A little. But it's like having two different Barbie heads and a Barbie and a Skipper body. You can mix and match, but it will never be different. It will always be exactly the same. Just like this horren- dous album. Squealing Euro-woman's voice, irritating high-pitched synth and me pale male Swede (or maybe a an) )vho's trying to sound like a reg- gae guy. Over and over. It's the record they play in Hell. Or in low caste Yuppie offices. You'll notice Barbie is mentioned above. Barbie is of course the reason you've heard of Aqua. "Aquarium" has a song on it called "Barbie Girl." It has lyrics like "You can brush my hair / Undress me everywhere." Mattel is up @ arms over it. As well they should be. Of course, they hate it because it's sex- ual. They should hate it because it's just awful. Awful awful awful. The album will make you want to hurt people and break things. Avoid it like tainted blood. Ted Watts AC Breed Flatline Wrap/Ichiban records Ever since he put Flint on the hip-hop map with "Ain't No Future In Your Frontin," Ichiban artist- MC Breed has been struggling to find qn identity for him- elfin rap music. His latest effort, "Flatline," continues the pimp/player iden- tity that he has been using lately. The image is hardly believable, but in allying himself with top-notch talent, he has managed to put together a solid album that is a worthy addition to 'ny music collection. The first positive thing Breed did was realize that he wasn't a very good writer. The DOC co-writes three of Breed's songs, and the metaphoric "My Dove" is just an example of the clever lyrics for which the two have become known as of late. Most of the music is produced by Erotic D. and Ant Banks, and creates an effective blend of home- cooked down-south funk, West Coast G-funk, and the trademark Oaktown sound. This music is strictly for driving through your neighborhood at 3 miles an hour, with the stereo playing at full blast. From he bouncy "Floatin' Through The Cosmos," to the sentimental "Dreamin," to the spaced-out "Duce Shot," Breed and his guests (Pimp C, Erotic D. and Too $hort) deliver solid songs all around. The most obvi- ous thing about this album is that it is not for every-A body. "Flatline" won't win over Ain't no future in hi anybody who keeps It real on "F doesn't already like West Coast or Southern hip-hop, and some of the tracks, like the Twista- esque "Lakeside 'Lude," the hokey "Guerrilla Pimpin" and the melancholy "Dear Lord," are entertaining but extremely out of place within the con- text of this album. The songs are for the most part too short, as just when you really get into a song, it's over. That shouldn't happen. Also, it's almost impossible to imagine MC Breed as a pimp, so the whole believability of the album is questionable. While "Flatline" does have its inherent flaws, it does- n't detract from a solid musical effort on the part of Breed and company. This is a perfect album to put into the tape deck or CD player while you're cruising through your city in the middle of summer. This album is solid enough for you to at least pre- tend that MC Breed is a pimp, and enjoy his music for an hour. JuQuan Williams Moxy Fruvous You Will Go To The Moon The Bottom Line Any band that makes fun of the Michigan Militia while carrying a tune is fine with me. And Moxy Frivous, with its new album "You Will Go To The Moon," definitely qualifies. On its fourth release, the quartet gets back to its quirky satir- ical roots and showcases real musical innova- tion. The album houses inter- galactic favorites - in August, astronauts on the Mir shuttle were woken to strains of the title song, an ironic future telling about expansion of our frontin': MC Breed (as they call it) tilne." "orbiting ron- delle." It's no accident NASA chose to wake up its weary space travelers with an a cappella carnival ride with lyrics like "You will go to the moon / A paradise to rival Cancun / And one side's always sunny / You'll be raking in the money / Ah, you'll get paid on the moon." Moxy can definitely provide a lift that the bro- ken ship can't, I'm sure. The album is peppered with silly gems. In "Michigan Militia," a militia member expounds on his life over a banjo back-beat and mimicky moog and wurlitzer, poking fun at the "anti- government compound" lifestyle with just a few simple chords. "Your New Boyfriend" features a disgruntled ex's cheerful lament that his girl's new guy is a "right-wing shit," followed by a cheesy-but-wonderful retooling of the BeeGees's "I've Gotta Get A Message To You." What sets this album above the prior three is that it incorporates all the aspects of the Frifour - allowing the folksier, acoustic sounds to emerge without stifling their poppy charm, like they did with the depressing all-or- nothing folk ethic on the 1995 album, "Wood." It's Moxy's talent, tempered with a bit of lunacy, that makes "You Will Go To The Moon" memorable. Versatile lead singer Jian Ghomeshi's percussion smolders on the sultry "Sahara" and "No No Raja," and Murray Foster's bass vocals and guitar make "The Incredible Medicine Show" just that. And "Boo Time" shows Moxy gone noir, with dischordant accordion, saxophone and electric guitar abound- ing. If any other group sang that people who stole your parking space, that guy who wrote that book about the Bell Curve and telemarketers calling during supper "deserve a great big kick in the ass," it might sound contrived. But Moxy's subtle a cappella renderings make "Kick In The Ass" a catchy anthem that makes you want to knock the crap out of the next chick who calls from Ameritech while you're eating your SpaghettiOs. Whether you follow through on their exhortations or not, make sure you get your hands on this disc. It might not be selling on the moon just yet, but you'll probably find it at Tower. -Stephanie Jo Klein The Poster Children RTFM Reprise In the increasingly corporate world of rock, it's rare that one finds a band that is simultaneously innovative and enter- taining. The Poster Children have been mak- ing such music for more than 10 years, virtually invisible to the ears of com- mercial radio. Such obscurity is both a blessing and a difficulty to the Illinois natives: they don't have to pander to the common denominator but they have to tour 10 months out of the year to make ends meet. This live experience, howev- er, combined with the band's freedom to experiment pays off with "RTFM" - a highly accessible album that finely straddles the line between innovative and formulaic rock. At the core of "RTFM" is a concept that is becoming increasingly cliche in today's music scene: standard guitar- centered rock with electronic embell- ishments. But where bands like U2 and Radiohead use this mixture to make melancholy, reflective music, the phi- losophy of the Poster Children is all about jumping around and having a good time. "Attack!" combines a dri- Aqua may sing "Come on Barble, let's go party!" But their album isn't fun at all. ving beat with bleeping synthesizers, creating a vibrant mix of '80s synth pop and punk-rock crunch. "21st Century" is highlighted by the robotic march of electronically enhanced drums, forming the perfect backdrop for singer-guitarist Rick Valentin's attack against modern society. The lead track "Black Dog" showcases the ulti- mate in loud/soft dynamics with quiet, atmospheric ambiance shattered by heavy metal power chords. The Posterkids don't alienate their past days rooted in straight guitar rock, however. "Music of America" is fast and fierce, while "Speed of Light" showcases the complex rifing of broth- er guitarists Rick and Jim Valentin. The slower side of the band is represented on tracks like "Dream Small" and "Happens Everyday," both of which are propelled by the fine vocal interplay between Rick Valentin and bassist Rose Marschak. All of these songs are based in tradi- tional guitar pyrotechnics, but still sound fresh due to subtle electronic touches. The album's few misfires (the generic pop of "0 for I" and the bland "Sleep") come when the band sticks too close to standard formulas. Its hard to hold a few mistakes against the Poster Children, however, when every song is delivered with an overabundance of enthusiasm. "RTFM" injects energy into the increasingly bland world of modern rock. -Rob Mitchum EASTERN MICHIGAN UNIVERSITYm On Sale Monday, October 6 EMU Box Office noon - 5:30 Window Orly By Phone, Tuesday, October 7 313/487-1221 EMU Student Tickets $8 Non-Student Tickets $12 ;1 .:4 Being Asian bilingual is your ticket to success. Interview with the world's top companies at the Pan-Asian job Fair, including: Adobe Systems, Exxon, Fidelity Investments, Johnson & Johnson, Procter & Gamble, and more! Oct. 17-18,1997* Jacob K. Javits Convention Center 655 West 34th Street N.Y.C. Oct IS is Onlyfor Jipanese speaks Winguals November 7, 1997 Navy Pier 600 East Grand Ave. Chicago, Illinois To register or get more information, contact: International Career Information Inc. Phone: I-800-859-8535 -"http://www.rici.com/acw "e-mail: jfinfo@rici.com China Hong Kong * India + Indonesia '"Japan " Korea - Malaysia * Philippines - Singapore + Taiwan - Thailand - Vietnam PAN-ASIAN OB FAIR IbP' -1 ."