8 - The Michigan Daily - Tuesday, September 23, 1997

m


'Monkey' pulls punk
band from gutter

;..

U U

747-9400 1220 S. University
Above McDonalds, Kinko's

TANNING
SPECIALS

- - - - - - -
tani~~ all semesterl One month unlimited
95Itanning $3 95
xpres 9/30/97 + $1 per session c JjNo service fees Expires 9/30/97 c 1

Guttermouth
Musical Monkey
Nitro Records
Punk rock. The term doesn't mean a
whole lot these days, what with all these
bands hitting the mainstream with a
three-chord pop song and calling them-
selves "punk." Punk supposedly played
out in the early '80s, right? Tell that to
Guttermouth.
Guttermouth began in the late '80s in
Orange County, Calif., churning out a
few 7" records before releasing their
first album, "Full Length"(now called
"The Album Formerly Known As Full
Length LP") on Dr. Strange
Records in 1991. Songs like
"I'm Punk," "Mr.
Barbecue, and
"Toil e t "d e fi n e d°
Guttermouth as a
band who lived up to
its name. Hyper-
tempo songs mixed
with hilarious, some-
times offensive lyrics
made for a true punk
combination. If you're
looking for political correct-
ness, look elsewhere.
1994's "Friendly People" on Nitro
Records proved Guttermouth to be any-
thing but, and 1996's "Teri Yakimoto"
saw Guttermouth expanding its sound
and also its sarcastic critique to include
hippies in "Trinket Trading, Tick
Toting, Toothless, Tired, Tramps":

"Make you clip your toenails, make you
cut your hair / Rid the world of hippies
purifies our air," and vegans in "Mark's
Ark." It's gotten even more wacky this
year with the release of "Musical
Monkey," Guttermouth's most catchy
and most hideous work yet.
You think Marilyn Manson's lyrics
are shocking? Obviously, you haven't
been exposed to anything this risky.
What's so great about Guttermouth is
that they never pretend to pull any
punches and really aren't trying to
impress anyone, but if they can make
you laugh or gross you out, they've
done their job. "What's The Big Deal"
pokes fun at redneck hunters, while
"Lucky The Donkey," one of the catchi-
est melodies on the album,
describes an encounter in
Mexico at a donkey show
and gives a little too
OTA_ K- much info.
"Musical Monkey"
hits its stride with
"Do The Hustle," an
all-out assault on
a n n o y i n g
rollerbladers. Mark
Adkins sings
"Whoopee, it's fun to
skate / I'll do a figure eight /
Watch me do a circle going back-
wards down the stairs / Oh, gee this is
fun / Looks like I better run! 14 guys on
skateboards wanna ollie off my head,"
as he mocks the "roller disco queens."
The most clever track, "Bakers Dozen,"
takes aim at people who try so hard to
be punk and the fact that punk's been

separated into so many sub-genres it's
ridiculous: "Ska core, snow core, hard
core, homo core, alba core / Can't take
it anymore."
Besides providing social commen-
tary and biting humor and wit,
Guttermouth can tell a story like no one
else. "Abort Mission" is a tale about the
time Mark tried to date a vegan, and
needless to say, it just didn't work out.
How about "What If?" where Adkins
looks back to the early '70s, and paints
a picture of the B-52's Fred Schneider
trying out to be the next lead singer of
the Doors just after Jim Morrison has
died. "Perfect World" describes what it
would be like if Adkins ruled the world:
"Nacho cheese and anarchy / Boy that
sure sounds good to me / Every kind of
drug is free in the new America."
The album comes to a close with the
title track "Musical Monkey," in which
Adkins plays the part of the weasel
journalist who fronts the punk scene:
"Time to trash a band / They fucking
blow / Since I wasn't on the list / I did-
n't make it to the show, oh well / No
major labels / They really suck / Except

Law show 'Hayes'
guilty of mediocrity
By Michael Zilberman
Daily Arts Writer
"TV's most intense actor is back," proclaims a critical
blurb. The word "intense" is great to use as a helpless filler
where no other epithets apply, and this case is no exception.
David Caruso's acting style is, first and foremost, so perfect-
ly blab (perhaps "transparent" is the word) that he comes
across as a near-genius in good hands and as a hack else-
where. Which helps explain both his phenomenal success in
Steven Bochco's "NYPD Blue" - and the speedy demise of
his movie career, where Caruso served time as a mouthpiece
for lines penned by Joe Eszterhaus.
So he is back indeed, greeted by a collective "we told you
so" from the always helpful press. On "Michael Hayes," a
new CBS crime drama, Caruso is playing a New York City
district attorney as opposed to a street cop; but the pilot
episode is quick to establish the titular Hayes' past occupation
as a policeman, lest we forget who we're dealing with.
It's hard to forget, too: Hayes projects a very familiar kind
of slow-burning ambition and general uneasy knottiness. The
pilot has him watching the details of a
decade-old murder resurface in a caseR
of a Mob underling. The catch is, the
underling has decided to cooperate - 4ic
and if he is convicted of this particular Mu
horror (raping and killing a teen-age4
Catholic waitress while she clutched
her rosary) - the cops lose a good lead
to his bosses.
Hayes plunges into the case headfirst, with nicely hushed
obsessiveness that is Caruso's specialty, and immediately
makes a roomful of enemies out of cops whose work he is
effectively screwing up. Does a key witness appear in the last
10 minutes to straighten the mess out? Ten guesses.

Get your minds into the gutter with the hard-core punk sounds of Guttermouth.

m
El
ld

"Yeah, I'm back on N. Wanna make somethin' of it?" The
Great Caruso returns in CBS' "Michael Hayes."
Director Peter Weller can't resist the temptation to spruce
up the story with shots of moodily lit Caruso in variously
incongruous NYC locales (was that the Metropolitan steps?
come on), fingering the dead girl's rosary. But all in all, any
TV drama can use a good portion of moodiness. The problem
is, "Michael Hayes" leaves Caruso a lone ranger.
We're talking about an actor so subdued
that he physically can't exist on TV except
V I E W/V as a straight man to a wilder, woollier
iael Hayes character; in other words, an Andy
Sipowicz. The closest "Michael Hayes"
CBS comes to the winning "NYPD" dynamic is
uesdays at 1o p.m. providing Michael with an obligatory
don't-go-there sidekick delivering lines
like "You're making this personal. Never
make it personal!" Uh, thank you - but that's precisely not
what we want to see. We want Caruso to make it so personal
as to shed all of his quiet reserve and tear through the damn
story like Al Pacino in heat - I mean, in "Heat" - because
nothing else will help it. And so far, sad to say, nothing does.

for Bad Religion / Can't get their stick-
er off my truck." This is the mentality
that fuels Guttermouth to do something
as "un-punk" as a drum solo on
record.
"Musical Monkey" is not the record
you want to play in front of the parents,
but it represents everything that the
music industry should be about: rebel-
lion, attitude, fun, and no ass kissing. If
it's too much, I guess you should stick
with something safer. If you're tired of
the same old mundane whatever,
though, definitely check "Musi
Monkey" out - this is what punk
meant to be.
Guttermouth will be playing St.
Andrew's tonight in Detroit. It's an all-
ages show, and if you ever wondered
what a loud, intense, fun show is like.
Guttermouth delivers one, and then
some. They'll be jumpin' around,
whoopin' it up and playing classics like
"Chicken Box," "Asshole," and some
new ones from "Musical Monkey"
Check them out, and prepare to j
blown away.
- Colin Barts
Castillo gets
intimate
with
'Loverboys.
W1x
By Jeo ca Eaton
Daily Books Editor
"Two boys are making out in the
booth across from me. I ain't got notj-
ing else to do, so I watch them, I drink
the not-so-aged house brandy*
watch two boys make out. It's more i
they're in the throes of passion1 as t1y
say. And they're not boys, really.Ithink
J've seen them around before, som-
where on campus maybe, Not making
out though."
Thus begins "Loverboys," the first
story in Ana Castillo's collectionof the
same name. The 23 stories all eontajn
the same underlying theme of love,
they display every possible quik -h,
and heartbreak. Award-winningAuthor
Castillo will be reading from this col-
lection tonight at 8 at Shaman Drum.,-
Castillo, a writer of many forms, is
known for her novels, poetry, short ste-
ries, and nonfiction works. In a recent
interview, she compared the differept
styles to different forms of art:
"They're all very different. It's alot like
being trained as a dancer, trained todQ
modern dance. You don't neces
get up and do ballet, and if you're a
let dancer you don't necessarily get.4p
and tap dance. So each one has taken
time to develop.
"Poetry is like working with fil-
gree; you can never take it forgrat-
ed. It's really work. And prose is dif-
ferent. Prose writing doesn't take
inspiration; you sit down and work, at
it every day."
However, her writing style in
short stories often appears to have been
inspired by something other than daily
devotion. In her characters, theeaIer
can see a piece of him or herself mel1-
ed with a piece of Castillo and a piece
of the Latina culture.
These pieces date all the waybac4o
the early '80s, and so they are 4yared
in time and experience as theyare. in
character. They represent a period9f
life full of wishes and confusion;
isn't that what it's all really about?
Castillo's writing doesn't define.a
specific ideal reader; she simply

states that "Loverboys" will be appre-
ciated by "someone who cap-under-
stand and enjoy the many apertures
which my stories hopefully present."
Indeed, anyone with an opei mipd
with discover these apertures with
joy.t
"Loverboys" is about love, yesb
is also about people and life anda place
in this world. To read Castillo's view of
life makes the reader think of-it -e little
more philosophically.ra
As she writes,"... maybe we should-
n't bother trying to figure it outjust go
about our business tripping overrit like
that crack in the sidewalk that send you

--I

"STAR MAKERS LOOK FOR NEXT STARE"
NEW YORK TIMES
k.>4
- ! Y
- x
MEET R DAVID MOGULL
President of Model Search America
and former leading Ford model!
NO EXPERIENCE NECESSARY-MEN-WOMEN-CHILDREN (AGE 4 & UP)
ALL SHAPES & SIZES FOR FASHION, COMMERCIAL PRINT & TELEVISION MODELING
MODEL SEARCH AMERICA HAS DISCOVERED NEW MODELS FOR
* THE MOST IMPORTANT MODEL MANAGERS IN THE WORLD

: