10 - The Michigan Daily - Tuesday, September 9, 1997 'G.I. Jane' battles boredom G.. Jane Original Soundtrack Various Artists Nollywood Records What do The Pretenders, John Lee Hooker, Three Dog Night and Bad Company have in common? Absolutely nothing! But, G.I. Jane's director Ridley Scott would like us to think so. Having seen a million trailers for the film, I hit play expecting to hear some- thing akin to the soundtrack from "Top Gun" - exciting, action-packed music that makes you feel like you are living out Demi Moore's adventures with her as a Navy SEAL (not a GI.,' despite what the title' says. Ask any- one you know in ROTC.) Instead, listeners are greeted with "Goodbye" and "The Homecoming," two defi- nite downers sung by Chrissie Hynde of The Pretenders. Pretty tunes, butthe image that came into my head was of someone crying into her beer at a bar, all alone, as an old barkeep swept up the shattered remains of the last night's brawl. Despite the sad beginning, I kept listening, hoping this was going to develop in stages with the next few songs. I thought perhaps it was intended to show the slow start and then: liven up the music while show- ing what a tough cookie Demi is becoming. But no Kenny Loggins "Danger Zone" tunes here. Three Dog Night follows with "Mama Told Me 'Kull' the Dull: Action film falls flat & Sorbo's big, hairy chest fails to inject life into 'Kull the Conqueror' Is that you, Mr. Clean? (Not to Come)."Yes, the sentiment of alienation comes through - a woman in a formerly all-man's world - but the light feel of tinkly keyboards just doesn't get it across. I don't even want to know why "Feel Like Makin' Love" by Bad Company is included. But it doesn't work either. And why waste John Lee Hooker's "Dimples" on this album? The classic rhythm and blues stylings don't sit right here. Where's the excitement? Where's the fantasy of Demi taking a stab at the establishment reflected in the music? Adding in the neo-punk "The Future Is A War" by Auntie Christ, with scratchy lyrics screamed over and over, louder and louder, does not redeem the fact that, thematically, this album is a dud. The only songs that capture the mood are "Conspiracy," and "Endurance," original instrumentals by Trevor Jones. As the second title suggests, the music presents the hard work, sweat agd tears that Navy SEAL training demands. But it's too late. I'd already fallen asleep. My advice: Listen to this album back- wards. Listen to "Endurance" for inspi- ration while you brush your teeth. Fight gingivitis! Clean your gums! Don't let anyone stop you! When you're finished, lull yourself to sleep with the rest of the dull line-up, dreams of clean teeth dancing in your head. - Stephanie Jo Klein By Prashant Tamaskar rid Valusia of Akivasha before the coun-x h Daily Arts Writer try is enslaved. Attempting to cash in on the sur- As the main characters, Sorbo and prising success of the television Carrere help make "Kull" watchable. series "Hercules," "Kull the Sorbo, who bares his big, hairy chest ' Conqueror" features many of the throughout the whole movie, brings a same elements that have made the buffoonish charm to the lead role. small-screen program popular, A limited performer, he doesn't including beefcake-of-the-moment really try to act, instead letting his Kevin Sorbo. Still, that which makes body do the talking. Still, it's obvi- a good TV show rarely makes a good ous that he doesn't take himself very movie, as "Kull" proves. Despite a seriously, making him more likable. valiant effort, the two-hour running Carrere, playing something different $ time ends up magnifying the weak- than her usual nice-girl role, is quite nesses of the style, while diluting the convincing as the evil queen Akivasha. strengths. Enthusiastic throughout, she flawlessly The moronic plot begins with Kull shifts from alluring to cruel, showing (Sorbo) trying to decent range and a become a member R E V I E W profcient actn of the Royal Army ability. of Valusia. Despite Kul the Aside from his uncanny ability Conqueror Sorbo and Carrere, to kick butt, he is ** the only other thing not allowed to join at shuweaun injecting any life because he isn't into the film is the nobility. diverse musical score, composed by However, Kull stumbles his way Joel Goldsmith. He does a nice job of onto the throne by impressing the capturing moods by interchanging king just before his majesty dies. In sweeping (but not overdramatic) the process, he alienates Prince orchestral pieces with energetic electric Taligaro (Thomas Ian Griffith), the guitars. heir to the monarchy, who can't stand Ultimately, "Kull" fails because the seeing a commoner wearing the action scenes (already weighed down crown. by the idiotic storyline) are so com- For his queen, Kull selects a seduc- pletely dull. tive young woman named Akivasha While the sword-fighting is mostly (Tia Carrere). In reality, Akivasha is a unimpressive, the special effects are 3,000-year-old goddess, who has just inconsistent, varying from visually been resurrected from the dead by her pleasing to truly laughable. loyal followers. She plans on taking To its credit "Kull," like the over Valusia and becoming its evil "Hercules" TV series, is not too violent, ruler. instead trying to be more campy than Akivasha and Taligaro join forces self-important. Kevin Sorbo's body cannot save "Kull the Conqueror" from Its many shortcoi to destroy their nemesis. But Kull, However, the writing isn't sharp - pointless dialogue, weak humor ang weak characters. who has enlisted the help of one of enough to amuse the audience. The the "Conan" movies, and based on a But, it borrows too much fri the former king's lovely subjects and secondary characters are mere plot character created by famed pulp novel- "Hercules" television series, at her brother, isn't so easy to tools, the dialogue is pointless and ist Robert Howard (who also created enough from the "Conan" film dethrone. the few attempts at humor fail miser- Conan), "Kull the Conqueror" tries ring Arnold Schwarzenegger. The Along with his companions, the ably. hard to be an appealing film for all ages is a movie that has too many sio, long-haired warrior must find a way to Produced by the man responsible for to enjoy. ings to work well on the big sere Delbanco to read from 'Scores' !1' t 1 747-9400 1220 S. University MA I " Above McDonalds, Kinko's SPECIALS SUPER EY NS Tanning all semester One month unlimited $9.95 tanning $3 .95 -49 - TiAA-CREF. Solutons L as t We take a lot of pride in gaining ugh marks from the major rating ervices. But the fact is, we're -qually proud of the ratings we et in the mail every day from >ur participants. Because at rIAA-CREF, ensuring the finan- iat futures of the education and esearch community is something hat goes beyond stars and numbers. So from traditional sod variable annuities to life nsurance and personal savings >lans, you'll find we provide he right choices-and the ledication-to help you achieve a lifetime of financial goals. The rating services back us up. So does Bill. To receive a free Personal nvesting Kit, including charges and expenses, plus our variable annuity prospectuses, call us at 1800 226-0147. Please read them carefully before you invest or send money. www.tiaa-cref.org By Jessica Eaton progress. However, after a freak accident, they separate apd Daily Books Editor pursue their own lives - until, 25 years later, they meet . He was a handsome, respected, divorced philosophy pro- again and discover a love just as true as it ever was fessor at a small New England college who always followed Their love, they learn, is not based on simple lustJut oA a policy of never dating his students. She was an attractive, a wise and tender understanding of one another. It 1;ull of intelligent student with strong ideas about politics, philoso- sophistication and culture as well as moving passion: phy and free love; a typical girl of her generation, but spe- Nicholas Delbanco was born in London, England, and cial. was educated at Harvard and Columbia. He has published. This pair and their fated love affair 17 books, most recently the noel' " are the focus of "Old Scores," Nicholas the Name of Mercy" in 1995. Delbanco's recent novel. Delbanco, PR E V I E W Delbanco has been at the Uniers K director of the University's MFA in Nicholas Delbanco since 1985, where he administ rs th Writing Program, will be reading from annual Hopwood Awards. He his a and signing his latest book at ers 10 Bn orders taught at Columbia and Iowa universit tonight as his first public event to honor Free along with Bennington, Skidmo the book's publication. He will then be Trinity and Williams colleges, end 'in touring the U.S., reappearing in Ann Arbor at Shaman 1977 he co-founded the Bennington Writing Workshop with Drum on Sept. 19, and as part of the Writers Harvest for the late John Gardner. Delbanco has twice received t a SOS on Oct. 23. National Endowment for the Arts Creative Writing Fellowship Andrea Barrett, National Book Award winner, said of as well as the Guggenheim Fellowship.and, recently, the, Delbanco's latest novel, "This spare, haunting evocation of University's Distinguished Faculty Achievement Award. enduring love brings new life to one of our great old In his latest work, Delbanco is clearly in tune with this romances. Salvaging love from the ruins, Delbanco's modern visible, audible world and with all of its various dacisiots day Abelard and Heloise are full of heat and extraordinarily "Old Scores" is a sensitive look at love and passionty moving." is a work that will touch people in different ways afm "Old Scores" tells the story of professor Paul Ballard and them as they look at their own choices about lov his student Elizabeth Sieverdson. The two fall passionately Delbanco's presentation of this novel is one noto in love, and the love grows as the months and years missed. NEED CASH }. THIS SEMESTER ? UNIVERSAL yums h a* I6 YOUR A...IWEs .-ight? $7.00/Hoiur } ' s Flexible Hours l-tree more REQUIREMENTS : to "er ore about the , * "Transportation >11 1 e, toia m(eeji0n nSrong Work Ethic :>: D.K.4BeyerZ