108'- The Michiga Daily WeekeNlagazie --Thrsday, Maarch;0,1997! TH She said STIPN:HER BARE TRUTH 0 The Michigan Daily Weekend M XXX on the WWW: Porn takes the Intern By Jennifer Petlinski Daily Arts Editor In a world filled with too much "T & A," there is very little room for schlong. And so goes the moral of my night on the town with my co-editor, Brian Gnatt. Together, we ventured into Ypsilanti's own pride and joy, Deja Vu, and Windsor's Danny's, exploring the dirty, kinky, lap-dancing, g-string depths of the male and female strip- club world. Behold, faithful readers, our reac- tions to' that one crazy night and my clear and (might I add?) perceptive female point of view. I've got to say it right up front: I expected more dick from Danny's, one of Windsor's main male clubs. Come on now - for $8 and an hourlong drive, do we deserve any less? For 11/2 hours, Brian and I imbibed what Danny's had to offer, which was - from drinks to dicks - not much. For 90 minutes, I waited patiently for naked men (and Brian waited patiently for me to say I was ready to go). And we waited. And waited. And waited. What did we get in the meantime? We got a room filled with out-of- control horny women. On the plus side, Brian and I sat next to three hilariously horny women who provided the true entertainment of the evening, spewing forth such comments as "Damn, I haven't seen that in a long time" and "Look, she's licking his thang." We can only imagine Brian's extreme relief at finding humor in the most unlikely of places. We got glimpses of practically PG-13 table dances, where the men personally danced and undressed - only briefly and only to their g-strings. We got cheesy dance numbers (including - I KID YOU NOT - The Hand Jive and Leap Frog) performed by totally clothed Harley Davidson-wor- shipping men with my-mother-could- have-fried-an-omelet-on-your-head hair and tight-ass ripped jeans. An hour of table dances and The Hand Jive creeps by: Brian is restless, and I'm damn pissed. Up to this point, I had seen more fat women go up for their birthday stroking and Lita Ford wannabes deliver tips to the strippers with their mouths than I ever care to imagine. But where's what we came for? Finally, the moment arrives: A partic- ularly sexy man in a white towel and oil saunters across the stage to Rod Stewart's "Broken Arrow" (a wonderful selection - not!). After more teasing, he rips off the towel and does a hand- stand buck naked against the wall. Forget The Hand Jive. This is why these women come to Danny's. And in a brief moment, he was clothed again. The moment of nakedness was over. Where's the good stuff, I thought? I mean, if you're going to go to a club that prides itself on naked men, should- n't I see some naked men? Couple's night at Deja Vu, however, was like another planet from the way Brian and I were treated to the whole "naked" issue. From the moment we entered, we were treated like royalty (we enjoyed free admission and bot- tomless sodas). I especially enjoyed cutting 18-year-old losers in line, thanks to my journalist status. Of course, I heard their comments as I walked past. Loser 1: Man, there's girls here watching girls. Loser 2: (Insert unintelligible noises). The Vu, which showcases naked women (who were less trashy looking than I was expecting), does so until 2 in the morning. I saw women dancing from poles, attaching themselves to mirrors and practically hanging from the ceiling (there's some intense acrobatics there). A woman would get on stage, strip in 30 seconds or less, go around bopping her breasts against men's faces (only the ones who tipped before) and disappear until a later act. No Hand Jive here. Most memorable about my evening were the women who kept walking around to the tables, offering their $15 lap dances. My favorite com- ments included: "Would you like a 2- for-1 lap dance?" and "Hi! (this was direct-, ed to me) What's your name? You look a lit- tle uncomfortable. It's no big deal. Lap Jen and BrianI dance?" As a woman, I had no idea what these "dances" would encompass. Knowing now, I am appalled by them. Here's my brief, yet affected analysis. Who gets them? 18-year-old sleaze- bags mostly. What happens? The men, or boys, sit in a chair and receive their own personal show, one which every- one else can see. What do the women do? The better question might be - what don't they do? They dance on poles, get completely naked, shove their thrusting vaginas in men's faces and ride them like mad. I could handle the stage dancing, but this was too much. I never could have even imagined such a graphic border- line-prostitution scene. Needless to say, Brian was enjoying himself "more than I thought I would." What have I learned from my night on the town? The dif- ferences between the clubs couldn't be greater. Danny's men teased, while the Vu's women, in their immediate nakedness, never got that chance. Most disappoint- WARREN ZINN/Daiy ing? The Vu's lap ay at Deja Vu. dances and Danny's "keep away the sch- long" tactics. If I'm going to pay money, I better see some.action. The Vu gave men more than they bargained for, and Danny's left a roomful of women starved for some meat. For now, I am left asking two impor- tant questions: Vu - where's the class? Danny's - where's the beef? E-mail Jei at petlinskeumnich.edu. selves in front of the nearest com- puter, hit the Netscape icon and do a search using any dirty, raunchy or sleazy word they know Within seconds they'll receive swanns of addresses for WWW pages fea- turing pictures, stories, cartoons, mail-order cata- logs, online chats, Lps and D Rl9 $R R~F 'hf A Check out (http://wss com/wc/topudadultlh interactive computer By Eugene Bowen Daily Arts Writer With increased public use of the information superhighway, pornogra- phy has moved beyond the realm of raunchy magazines, taken a sharp turn through the land of lewd VCR tapes and has arrived in the high-tech universe of the World Wide Web, interactive com- puting and CD-ROMs. Now students can simply set them- youngest.com/docs/index-2.html) and the unnamed http://wss4.websidesto- ry.com/wc/topud.adult.html provide exclusively straight links, while "Men on the Net" (http://www. menonthenet.com) leads directly to gay pages. For the most part, however, pay sites are the great commonality. For some monthly fee (usually around $10), you will be provided with a user ID and a password to gain access to whichev- er of the seemingly infinite number of nwm websites that strikes your fancy. You can even pay AU.r AtttPt ~for a lifetime membership. In the name of "high- tech-dom," credit } cards are generally " accepted. s4.Cwebsidestory. Usually, the sex html. page you select will themselves contain links to other pages that then contain links to still more pages..The cycle seems never-ending, and it is quite easy to get dreamily lost in the mass of pages. Also gaining in popularity are the so- called "sex talk channels." On these channels, one can converse electroni- cally via keyboard with other horny people at the University and around the globe. Here, sex talk is the norm, and if you don't have anything nasty to say then you're not invited. Internet Relay Chat (IRC) is one such collection of talk channels. Although the majority of talk chan- nels on IRC aren't sex-related, quite a few are. Channels like #sex, #wetsex, #teensex are highly popular with the straight crowd; #gaysex, #jack-off, #les- bian, #bearcave are equally popular. among gay and lesbian users. Truly the mind boggles with the. number of ways in which virtually every form of sex has become a major fixture in cyberspace. Despite the intense hatred of pornography in some societal corners, there exists quite a comfortable niche for such pages on the Web. Of course, its existence has led to a number of debates pitting free speech rights against the need to block access of such pages by minors and to halt the proliferation of child porn. Such controversy fell on the University's doorstep when former University student Jake Baker was charged in early 1995 with five counts of transmitting threats to injure or kid- nap as a result of his postings on an electronic sex stories newsgroup, in which he discussed fantasies of raping and torturing a female Universit dent. He was suspended indefinit former University President J Duderstadt. The case was eventually disr and Baker now attends the Univer: Pittsburgh. Politicians and lobbyists on C Hill also continue to feel the f 10% Discount for students 1677 Plymouth R Located in the Court) p8 services, singles ads and God knows what else relating to the business of sex. Some pages offer hundreds of pic- tures absolutely free for the viewing. "Persian Kitty" (http: wwwpersiankit- ty.com/index2.htm) and the unnamed http://www.winbet.sci fi/junkvard/sex. htm give huge listings of links to pages that offer free samples of both straight and gay action, as well as a number of unbelievably outlandish sites. "Dina's Top 25" (http://www. S - U WOULD YOU LIKE TO * BE A TOUR GUIDE? 0 ANSWER QUESTIONS ABOUT THE U-M? r SHARE YOUR MICHIGAN SPIRIT? 7:00 - 9:00 pm Michigan Leagu Koessler Room Call 1.-80-KAP-TEST to reserv Sponsored By: Phi Alpha Delta Frate & Undergraduate Law THE HUETWELL VISITORS CENTER IS NOW HIRING INTEIEWS GRANTED ON A ROWNG BASIS APPUCATIONS ARE AVAAmE NOW HuetwelVitors Center, 1220 SA. Ofice Hours Monday - Friday, 8 A.M. - 5 P. M., and Saturday, 9 A.M. - 3 P.M. POSITIONS AVAILABLE FOR: # SPRING/SUMMER 1997 0 FALL 1997 APPLiCATIONS DUE BY APRIL 2, 1997 QUESTONS? 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