12B The Michigan Daily Weekent Magazine - Thursday, February 27, 1997
. S R GEW and Fury
:SPR IG BREAK wITH Cl
The Michigan Daily Weeken ME
Wrestler Faarooq discusses
career, state of the WWF
AMPUS
LEADERS
BY DEAN BAKOPOULOS
it's been a rough few weeks for some
campus leaders,
First of all, MSA itiembers urge an
in stigation into the allegations that
Vice President
after rumors surfaced that he forged a
press pass to get into restricted areas at
a state GOP gathering.
In Washington, everyone from the
President to the
Probir Mehta
illegally slipped
$500 dollars to a
student group.
Then, word
comes that
MSA President
Fiona Rose
spent a chunk of
dough - more
than 100 bucks
Campus leaders
are keeping up a
tradition of abuse
of power.
Speaker of the
House to the
armed forces are
under investiga-
tion for a variety
of unethical
behaviors. Here
at the University,
many campus
leaders are doing
a tradition of politi-
spring break with me for some much-
needed fun, relaxation and ethics
lessons. Let's see how it goes ...
Me: All right, let's get this straight.
I'm driving.
Rose: Yes, that's right here in my
planner under Day one, Hour 16,
Minute 13, Second 47.
Mehta: Here's 500 bucks for gas.
Kirk: We don't need that, I got a gas
card.
Me: This gas card is for Mable
Gazurski.
Kirk: Yep. That's me.
Rose: Let's just drive! My planner
has us 23 seconds behind schedule!
Me: Why did you rent this Mercedes.
Ms. Rose'? I don't like driving foreign
cars.
Rose: I got a Mercedes because I
went to this automotive seminar, and we
had to look at a Mercedes, and so I was
used to them and had MSA fund the
extra $30,000.
Mehta: $30,000! Imagine how many
votes that would buy Mehta for
By Aaron Rennie
Waily Arts Writer
Oh yeah, baby! The World Wrestling
Federation is coming back to the Motor
City. Connotations abound: testos-
terone-rampant fans with more teeth
than IQ points, well-oiled behemoths
with cartoon-ish monikers shouting
about upcoming destruction in the
"squared circle," and,
for those of us who fol-
lowed the WWF in the
'80s, the phe-
no men on
on a Franklin
their best to keep up
President!
Kirk: Money, maybe I could get
some of that money, folks. I'm out of
work, you know.
Me: What about all that stuff you wrote
to the editor of the Daily proclaiming that
only lazy people lose their jobs and need
money ... You know the stuff about the
rich "making America great"?
Kirk: Shut up and drive.
All Three Leaders: A H1H HHH1H1H-
HIH! Look out!
Me: What's wrong, people?
All: It's the editor of an obscure cam-
pus affairs journal of moderate conser-
vative opinion!
Me: What can he possibly do?
All: He makes fun of everyone and
everything in a most brash, offensive and
nonsensical manner! Don't hit him! You'll
Planner. To close out the week in a flur-
ry of fun, College Republicans
President Nicholas Kirk was impeached
cal dishonesty and abuse of power.
I've decided to help out these leaders
in troubled times and take them on
I
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HIP A
114 &
I
get Libertarian Goo all over the car!
Me: That's it, I'm turning this damn
car around, and we're going back to
Ann Arbor, got it?
Kirk: Can we stop at Big Boy? I get
a senior discount ... Now, where is that
Oregon State ID that says I'm an 88-
year-old woman?
Me: An 88-year-old woman'?I thought
your ID said you were a staff writer at
some obscure campus affairs journal of
moderate conservative opinion.
Kirk: They're one and the same,
basically. Same social life, same politi-
cal views, etc....
Mehta: Mehta for President!
Rose: Can we stop at "Successories,"
please? I need to pick up a leather
bound Post-It notebook with gold-plat-
ed edges. I just hate jotting down phone
messages on those cheap and tacky yel-
low pads.
This is where I pull the car over and
run home. Mission aborted.
Actually, there's something very seri-
See LEADERS, Page 168
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the Stearns Building on
Monday, March 24.
known as
"Hulkamania"
It's the late '90s
now, and Hulk
Hogan, the man
responsible for the pop-
ularity of the WWF, its
action figures and
short-lived cartoon spin-off
show, has been long gone, off to the
greener pastures of Ted Turner's World
Championship Wrestling (WCW). The
spirit of the WWF lives on, however.
with (slightly younger) superstars, like
The Undertaker, Sycho Sid, Bret h art
and Faarooq.
Back in the late '80s, Faarooq was
known as Ron Simmons, and he wres-
tIed for the North Carolina-based
National Wrestling Alliance (NWA). It
morphed into WCW once Turner's
megabucks entered the picture. At one
point, Simmons beat Ric Flair, the
NWA equivalent of Hulk Hogan, to
become the "champion of the world."
A couple of years later, Simmons
teamed with Butch Reed to form a tag
team called Doom, that routinely bat-
tered and bruised other legendary teams
like The Road Warriors and The Steiner
Brothers (who, incidentally, wear
Michigan jackets to the ring).
Eventually. Doom dissolved and now,
years later, Simmons is back on the big
stage, butting heads in the WWF as
Faarooq.
In an interview with The Michigan
Daily, Faarooq spoke about his past. He
explained that he used to battle in the
trenches of the National Football
League.
"I played at Tampa Bay and at
Cleveland," Faarooq said.
Unfortunately, Farooq suffered from
numerous "ankle and knee injuries,
shoulder injuries.... I could go on, but
there's no need."
Suffice it to say, Faarooq soon wound
up in a new industry professional
wrestling.
Lest we all think that pro wrestling is
a complete joke, WWF wrestlers like
Faarooq - and all others - are con-
stantly lifting weights to stay more
resistant to the trials in the ring, where
injuries are surprisingly commonplace.
"I'm continuously
working out in local
gyms (when on the
road) because it's a
demanding sport for
your body. You try and
take care of yourself
because you're going
(around the country
and the world wrestling)
a lot," Faarooq said. "But
hey, that's the life of a
professional wrestler."
I
idies.
At the De-
troit show at
Cobo Arena on
March 8,
Faarooq will be
wrestling The
Undertaker.
"He's a big
man, Farooq
said coolly,
understating
the imposing
presence of the
7-foot, 300-
plus pound 'Taker.
The Undertaker
iran, EdonF
1 .
try toget
wrestling
Pro wrestlers are prob-
ably grappling more frequently than,
say, professional basketball players take
the court. 'I'm on the road an average
of 19 days out of the month," Faarooq
explained.
This means that he is away from his
home in Atlanta for about 2l3 of the
year. On the plus side, wrestlers in the
Connecticut-based World Wrestling
Federation are well-compensated for
their troubles, which more than likely
makes up for time away from their fam-
7-foot-4, 500-pound Andre the Giant
for the WWF title; Hogan's now com-
pletely bald and Andre, who had no
small part in the film "The Princess
Bride," is now completely dead.).
Faarooq said he'd be fighting
"Ahmed Johnson ... that's who I'll be
BEATING at Wrestlemania." He was
probably just expressing his confidence
in his skills, but a more skeptical person
might read between the lines and say
that Faarooq knows a little bit more
information ahead of time than the pub-
lic.
When Faarooq was reminded how
psyched many fans were when he beat
Ric Flair for the NWA belt, he replied,
"Right," and then mumbled something
indecipherable.
Given that the Vince McMahon
owned-WWF has for years had prob-
lems acknowledging other wrestling
organizations or wrestlers' past suc-
cesses elsewhere, I decided not to probe
any further (even though Simmons'
beating Flair for the belt may have been
breaking some kind of color barrier).
The WWF belt is in Faarooq's sights
down the line. "Definitely, that's in the
works for me, because every profes-
sional wrestler's dream is the WWF
title."
One wouldn't want to get in his way,
especially given his long-range
wrestling plans: "Beating everyone I
come in contact
with."
re not As for passing
on some words of
Seven wisdom to col-
lege kids, espe-
into (the cially wrestling
circ t. fans, Faarooq had
Off'CU t0). the following
insight: "First of
- Faarooq all, you've got to
WWF wrestler have the attitude
and the mind of a
tiger when you're
around here, because this is what this is
about and there's no room for bums and
sissies."
Just in case you think you could hack
it on the wrestling circuit, he offered
one last piece of advice: "If you're not a
man, don't even try to get into it."
Other wrestlers are wary of t
is a man who flirts
with "the dark side;' and frequently
gives hilarious interviews, saying things
like, "When I'm through with you, it'll
take 12 coffins to bury your corpse," or
something to that effect.
Looking a bit further down the line,
Wrestlemania 13 will be occurring in
about a month's time. (Wrestlemania 3
took place at a sold-out Pontiac
Silverdome 10 years ago, when Hulk
Hogan bodyslammed and defeated the
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