14. Th Aichigan Daily WeekedAMagazine - Thursday, Fe ary 6, 1997
0 The Michigan einMal
BSound and Fury
A SENIOR'S TO-DO LIST BEFORE
(Columnist's Note: Those of you who
are not seniors should stop reading this
column immediately. Clip and save it.
Then seal it in an envelope. Do not open
until you are 12 weeksfrom graduation.)
Now, dear seniors ... (Look you little
first-a.s student, put this damn thing
down - it's for seniors only!) As I was
saying, dear seniors, we have but 12
weeks left in our undergraduate career.
That means we need to take a long look
at our "meant-to" list. You know, all the
things you meant to do in your years at
the University? It's a long list, isn't it?
Cross off the things you actually did.
That's still a darn-tootin' long list,
Well, fear not ye fourth- or fifth-year
student. I have a plan. I have a 12-step
program designed for you, Mr. or Ms.
Underachiever. In the next 12 weeks,
you will go through this list and do the
prescribed activities. Follow the direc-
tions for each week, and you'll feel a
warm, happy gush of self-esteem come
Week One: Join a campus organiza-
tion. Oh, -I know you meant to, but
c'mon, we were the class who came to
school during NBC's "Must -See TV"
blitz. But tonight, set the VCR. Go out.
Join the first organization you
encounter. Go to one meeting. Propose
a massive overhaul of the bylaws. Buy
an official T-Shirt. Quit.
Week Two: Take pictures. Remember
when your folks gave you that nice cam-
era at your high school graduation party
and you never used it? Start now. Take it
out one night and snap enough pictures to
make it look like you have four years'
worth. Later, explain why all your college
pictures have the same people in the same
clothes at the same table at Ashley's.
Week Three: Kick the habit.
Remember when you vowed to quit
smoking (or caffeine, fast food or
booze) once you were done with col-
lege? Try to quit. You won't succeed,
but it'll be a valiant effort.
Week Four: Steal a keg from a frat
house. Sneak into a party with a bunch of
Wind tipto Sunset DeuhI
Wia r .
Lnter the 1-600COLLECT "Anything (an llappen" Sweepstakes
IT'S EASY TO WIN!
Simply complete a 1-800-COLLECT call.
between February 3 and February 28,1997
and you are automatiCally entered! Plus, ~
frat boys singing "Sugar Magnolia" and
looking at women with bare midriffs.
Steal their keg. Let them wail on your ass.
It'll hurt, but think of the stories you'll
have about those crazy college days.
Week Five: Write a novel. You start-
ed a novel the summer after high
school, didn't you? Finish it. "Ulysses"
it won't be, but you'll feel like a failed
writer - which gives you a wonderful
excuse not to "kick the habit" recom-
mended in Week Three.
Week Six: Get a part-time job and
save up some money. OK, maybe not.
Week Seven: Do an internship/write
that resume. Procrastinator? Fear not.
Just embellish away: Change "East Quad
Dishwasher" to "Supervisor of Dining
Sanitation Operations." When that's
done, ask your boss at Gas 'n' Go to start
referring to you as a "paid intern." I
mean, you're working for peanut shells.
He'll call you King Tut if you so desire.
Week Eight: Oversleep. Miss Week
Eight. Decide WeekNine will be better.
.Week Nine: Run the Naked Mile.
Realize you are three weeks early. Get
arrested by DPS officers. (Another
kick-ass story to tell the kids!)
Week 10: Write mushy letters. Thank
important people in your life for their
"undying support and unconditional
love." Send letters. Wait for graduation
cards with meaty checks to arnve.
Week 11: Finally do that senior
audit. Realize you are 2 credits short of
a degree. Register for a spring class.
Week 12: Lament the fact that you
won't graduate. Hang around Ann
Arbor drinking Yoo-Hoo chocolate
soda. Tell people you need to stick
around campus, "you know, to finish
stuff." Tell your friends with real jobs
that they are "pimpin' for The Man.'
Beyond Week 12: Hang out at
Scorekeepers. Hit on college kids who
think you are some old dude. Tell any-
one who'll listen about that "awesome
time you swiped this keg from a frat
house." Let them laugh at you. Realize
you should not have listened to that sar-
castic columnist in the Daily when you
were a senior. Weep.
-Reach Dean at deanccuich.ed. i
QUALITY DRY CLEANING
& SHIRT SERVICE
(Across from Nickels Arcade)
Continued from Page 6B3
"Toys and hobbies went along with
bikes," Alice Plotner said.
"There weren't any other toy shops
around at that time, except for the dime
stores. The town was a lot smaller then
and there was quite a lot of local trade.
As the University grew, the store
became more student oriented," Plotner
"This store is the only one with toys
and is quite unique' present owner
Vickie Plotner said. The toy side of the
store resembles a dream play room. One
wall is lined with shelves stocked with
funny, friendly stuffed animals from
frogs to puppies. A sign warns, "Please
don't feed the animals.'
"The majority of our customers are
students, and students want something
realistic and natural. I think of this
when I buy for the store and don't just
stock dressed-up bears. They really like
the Gunds," Vickie Plotner said.
The toy store
carries all vari-
eties of play-
and How to
Host a Murder.
rage in toys has
been the Beanie
There is a Sesame
Street bus brimming
over with fuzzy
rows of hobby paint
and model cars.
There is a Sesame Street bus in one
corner, brimming over with fuzzy charac-
ters, and there are rows of hobby paint and
model cars in another. "We get a lot of
students in the toy store. It's Frisbees in
the fall and stuffed animals at Christmas,"
The store also specializes in higher-
priced Madame Alexander collector
dolls. "The Madame Alexander dolls.
are for the hard-core collectors and you
can't find them at
Baby, a small, bean-
stuffed, animal. Campus Bike & Toy
boasts of their expansive selection and
low-pricing. "For $4.99, I think we have
one of the lowest prices around, and
people are buying tons of them,"
most of the old stores have disappeared
downtown. Now it is mostly coffee
shops. I.don't know how long coffee
shops will be in vogue, but I think it is
the demise of downtown," Alice Plotner
Meijer or Toys-R-
area around the
the past 60
Bike & Toy has
retained its old-
"I'm sad that
___________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________ 1
Continued from Page 4B
world's most influential dancer-cl
raphers. Duncan's circle dances a,
dom of movement is very preva
"Waltzscape," and is flavored with
Sara Steffanni's hip-hop solo.
Paul Taylor's "Esplanade" set
violin concertos by J.S. Bach, ck
evening. Mary Cochran, a pr
dancer- with Taylor's company
years, was artist in residence w
Dance Department last semest<
recreated "Esplanade" for two ca
will perform alternately this weel
SUNDAY EVENING FORUM
A Christian Response to Welfare Policy"
Speaker: Dr, Wendell Primus
Economis t who esigned his office in the Department of
Health and Human Services in protest of Pres. Clinton's
signing of welfare reform bill.
Sunday, February 9
Supper 6:00 pm
Talk and discussion: 7:00 pm
1236 Washtenaw Ct.
one block south of CCRB
Parking in the Church Street parking structure
Men and Women
No Difficulty In Sleepir
Must have bI
If you meet
At: Henry For