16B ,.The Michigan Daily Weeken Magazine - Thursday, November 21, 1996 About Town Middle Earth delights, 0 offends with variety of gifts By Josh Herman For the Daily Shopping List: 1. Plastic penis pen-topper 2. Half-clad Chairman Mao doll 3. 30 small rubber pigs 4. "Hard Candy" nail polish 5. Phrenology chart 6. Alien paraphernalia 7. Soap 8. Drag dress-up doll. No, this isn't a shopping list written after Hash Bash, but a legitimate one from any per- son who plans on doing their shopping at "My roommate hates the stuff - but it smells a lot better then them!" joked first-year student Adam Schwartz. Across from the cosmetic booth, artifacts for the Day of the Dead (a Latina/o holiday) line the wall. Colorful skeletons from around the world smile devilishly - no doubt at the phal- lic statues around the store. Either that or they've been reading the "special" cards that line the back of the store - let's just say that you won't find "Hallmark" written on the back of them. That's not to say that children won't enjoy the cards - there are many bright bug- filled cards and art postcards in the store as well. One card, for instance, has a "mom arche- Middle Earth. "It's named after the J.R.R. though it doesn't carry any merchandise related to that," said Cynthia Shevel, Middle Earth owner and founder, with a laugh. When asked why. tbh store was opened, she stated, "Well, you weren't alive in 1967 - it's what it was like!" Going into the store, one could probably guess that the owner had a pretty good sense of humor - a gargoyle with the head of Richard Nixon greets you upon entering (can anything be more scary?). "Harming only the humor- Tolkien trilogy, type" teaching Middle Earth ~ What: A variety of gifts and candy - from toys to toi- letries. ~ Where: 1290 S. University Ave. ~ When: Monday, Tuesday, - Saturday, 10 a.m.-7 p.m.; Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, 10 a.m.-9 p.m. and Sunday, 12-5 p.m. ~ Phone: 769-1488. the physical gestures of sexual orientation. Around the top of the store hang T-shirts that scream grunge. If you want to show your love for "Fat Albert" or "School House Rock," this is the place to go. "They truly do have a great selection of 'grunge' T-shirts!" said Alana Berlin, a Farmington Hills High School student. "I don't really consider myself 'grunge' but those who do will definitely want to visit this place," Berlin said. at will most likely offend some- Employee and Ann Arbor resident Jim Ford shows off the original T-shirts Middle Earth sells. "educational," interesting books can be found near the back of the store. Satan worshipper? Middle Earth has a book all about the big horned one. Hormones in overdrive? Books about redheads and bikinis can offer some off-hour entertainment. Perhaps you want to show your appreciation for cross-dressers everywhere by adorning the walls of your dorm room with drag dress-up dolls (my you're not one of those people that likes to suck on their pen for embarrassing consequences may result. The candy is just as weird - giving it out for Halloween would result in a few phone calls from parents to your house, and / or projectile vomiting. That's not to say the candy isn't interesting - any kid would love it and it will intrigue most people less since 1967 - that's our motto!" Shevel pro- claimed. However, Nixon gargoyles are only a piece of what makes up Middle Earth. A cosmetic counter is foundj in between the two entrances to the store. There, one can pick up nail polish, soap, Dog Polish (for lathering Fido up) and a tasteful pot- pourri of shampoos. However, bathing might not be necessary for some time after visiting the store, as the smell from the incense sticks to your body and clothes for at least a week. For those who don't want to get their incense directly from people in front of the Nickels Arcade jumping in front of their bike, Middle Earth does sell a wide range of smells and holders. If T-shirts th one when worn in public aren't your style, then the jewelry section might be more to your lik- ing. In the other half of the store, jewelry from around the world and around the weird is show- cased. Everything from Pooh pins and neck- laces to yin-yang bracelets and star-studded earrings (which can be placed wherever your piercings may be) are there. The jewelry is quite interesting and a piece can be found to suit most any budget and style. With all this selection, Middle Earth gets, as Shevel said, "quite a diversity of visitors - from football games, seminars, tours and many stu- dents." For those who want something a little more roommate is still giving me a hassle, but I swear they're going up!) Many more books, most likely those that can't be bought at Borders, or at least bought with a straight face, can be found among the shelves of Middle Earth. "You really could buy every single book here and never be bored again," Molly Harris. "You could buy every book here and never be bored. - Molly Harris first-year student - it may just be too interest- ing to eat. Regardless, most of the children passing by were awestruck and began the whining that ends in them getting the candy or being ushered out by security. If the candy isn't tasty, it sure is tasty to the eyes and worth checking out. Middle Earth has some- said first-year student Near the front of the store, small trinkets and an assortment of odd candy (Willy Wonka would have a fit) abound. Waiting in line to pay, one can make any last-minute additions to their purchase - say, a fortune-telling fish or as mentioned before, a plastic penis topper. Note: If you actual- ly plan on buying this small wonder, make sure thing for everyone - whether you're perverted or an innocent child (which you won't be after visit- ing the store!). "It can be very dangerous here," said junior Tracey Jackier, "'cause you could buy every- thing!" Even if you don't buy everything, most people leave with a hint of a smile on their face and a hint of incense on their clothes. mHF THE BEST PLACES SPRING BREAK TO GO FOR Round 1Ip from Detroit DENVER AAUC March 1-E, 1997 from ACAPULCO AIR ONLY ..390.March $-9, 1997 Copper Mountain Resort $ 7990$9940Quad 0cc.! Tp1. 0cc. IDbl. Occ.! !ft~p ~Le) e d ogle x6, 1, mS799m9po FLORIDA frorn189" CANCUN NONSTOP aNpa m ay Mar.2-8 March 1-4 1997 March 2-9, 1997 SL. @ M 14 Qua Occ.Ie. Occ. Dbl. Occ. F~er 1lat x29 729 ? ARUBA March 1-, 1997 For Reservations Mill Resort-1st Class, Across fm beach or huornatxm Qua Occ. T l.Occ. Dbl. Occ. 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