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MICHAEL ROSENBERG
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hey are the best of students,
they are the worst of students.
The question is, who is the
t and who is the worst? Which
group is superior in every way to its
counterpart?
I am talking, of course, about in-
staters and out-of-staters. And your
answer depends on which group you
belong to.
Socially, the two groups are much
like early civilizations - you are
only supposed to talk to your own
I pie. If you talk to someone from
other tribe, it is considered
consorting with the enemy, and
members of your own tribe are liable
to beat you with sticks or make you
do keg-stands, one of the two.
I, myself, an out-of-stater. How-
ever, as a public service, I have
hopped over the Great Wall of Social
Boundaries and actually spoken to a
few in-state students to compile this
list of.. .
*ifferencos between
in-staters and out-of-
staters:
* Out-of-staters keep from paying
attention in class by talking to each
other at roughly the same decibel
level of a DC-10.
* In-staters, offended that out-of-
staters talk so loudly in an academic
vironment, tell the out-of-staters to
t up. Then the in-staters go back to
doing the Daily crossword puzzle.
* Out-of-staters wonder why the
Michigan football team hasn't won a
national title since they enrolled here.
* In-staters wonder why the
Michigan football team hasn't won a
national title in their lifetimes.
Out-of-staters wonder why
anyone would want to live in Bursley,
which is so far away from all the cool
npus hangouts.
In-staters often choose to live in
Bursley because it is so far away from
the hangouts that out-of-staters think
are cool.
Out-of-staters procrastinate by
sending e-mail to their friends at
distant universities, friends they
would otherwise never bother
contacting.
In-staters procrastinate by
Vding e-mail to their friends at
distant terminals in Angell Hall.
Out-of-staters get away from the
stress of school by going to Rick's.
In-staters think Rick's was
created as kind of a minimum
security prison for out-of-staters.
Out-of-staters wonder why
Michigan is so boring.
In-staters wonder how boring
out-of-staters' home states must be
out-of-staters to come to Michigan
go to school.
Out-of-staters think the Wolver-
ines' biggest rival is Ohio State.
v In-staters think the Wolverines'
biggest rival is Michigan State.
* Out-of-staters think Michigan
State is a high school.
In-staters go on road trips
because they know that wherever they
o, they will end up meeting new
ople and seeing new things.
Out-of-staters go on road trips
because they know that wherever they
go, they will end up in a bar.
In-staters hide their annoyance
and slowly nod their heads while out-
of-staters give 30-minute diatribes on
sports, politics, sex, etc.
* Out-of-staters wonder why in-
staters never have anything worth-
while to say about sports, politics,
x, etc.
In-staters show people where
they are from by pointing to a certain
spot on their hand.
Out-of-staters show people
where they are from by talking with a
loud, obnoxious accent.
* In-staters think they are getting a
great education for the money.
Out-of-staters think they are
getting an education to make great
ney.
In-staters think the 15-year-olds
with green hair who hang out on State
St. and South U. are little punks.
N Out-of-staters think the 15-year-
olds with green hair who hang out on
State St. and South U. are typical
Michiganians.
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ARbOR FiLM FEsTIVdl 1 99% spoiliqkrs c Aiviiy
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it's that time of year again in Ann Arbor. Most of us
would be willing to describe this week as a jolt back
into reality, having the brisk Michigan wind smack
us in the face after those crazy spring breaks to Cancun,
Florida, Arizona or the Bahamas. Now, we must trudge
to class and throw ourselves back into the piles of work
that we ditched last week for the sand, surf and sun.
Many in the Ann Arbor community, however, spent
their vacations here in town. Instead of being buried in
the sand, countless volunteer students and community
members have buried themselves in the most important
stretch of a year-long project: The Ann Arbor Film
Festival.
That's right, folks. This week the spotlight is on East
Liberty at the Michigan Theater, where the 34th annual
Ann Arbor Film Festival will take place. This year's
event, lasting from March 12-17, features 93 16mm
films created by various independent and experimental
filmmakers around the United States and throughout
the world. The films of this year's program, ranging
anywhere from one minute to 96 minutes in length,
include many genres-from animation, documentary and
narrative to experimental and personal documentary.
As is the case every year, the films are judged by an
Awards Jury of three recognized members in the na-
tional and international film community. This week,
Ann Arbor welcomes another impressive list: Craig
Baldwin, an experimental filmmaker from San Fran-
cisco, who was recently featured in "Independent Film-
maker" magazine, Christine Panushka, an experimen-
tal animator who teaches at CalArts in Los Angeles and
Robb Moss, a personal documentary filmmaker who
teaches at Harvard.
The Awards Jury, in town for the week, watches the
screening with the audience at the Michigan Theater. At
the end of the week, a total of $10,000 worth of awards
(donations from individuals/businesses and grants) -
Best of the Festival Award, the Tom Berman Award for
Most Promising Filmmaker and the Lawrence Kasdan
Award, to name a few - are presented to various
filmmakers. The awarded films are then announced and
shown at three separate screenings on Sunday, March
17.
Ultimately, the Festival is intended to be an alterna-
tive to commercial cinema. Founded in 1963 by film-
maker/artist George Manupelli at the University's
School of Art, the Festival has, in the past, showcased
the works ofsuch then-budding artists as Brian DePalma,
Andy Warhol, George Lucas and Yoko Ono.
For interested students and residents of Ann Arbor,
the activities and films of the Festival go above and
beyond the price of admission. Pay six bucks for a
single ticket, $10 for an entire evening or purchase $35
' series tickets for the entire week. Forget spring break in
Cancun ... this week, the entertainment is all in Ann
Arbor.
And did you know that the Festival offers much
more than the films themselves? Each member of
the Awards Jury will share their works and experi-
ences with the community in the afternoon seminars
scattered throughout the week. Performers, such as
Dance Professor Peter Sparling, will provide enter-
tainment on various evenings. Many artists have
even donated their works to the Festival's Silent
Auction to be held in the theater lobby of the balcony
level (here, people can bid on art and business
services on the break between shows).
Behind the creativity and energy of the program is
festival director Vicki Honeyman, whose voice
jumped with pride and excitement as she detailed
her Festival as the ultimate creative expression.
"We like to integrate all kinds of art -so we have
all kinds of artists and dancers perform on stage. A
lot of artists also decorate the Michigan Theater and
transform it from what it is to this really cool piece
of art. Our Festival is just a lot of fun."
Honeyman has certainly brought more than her
creativitytothe Festival. Knowing about the project,
it is nearly impossible to overlook her months and
-h o AbOV fRoM RNtG R0 R
see FILM FEST Page 6B
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