4- The Michigan Daily - WVee4e, 4e - Thursday, February 22, 1996 'Saturday Night Live' alums' careers dying slowly By Jon Petinski Daily Film Editor Remember when you looked for- ward to staying home on a Saturday night? A night out on the town could, atone time, be easily passed over for a solid episode of "Saturday Night Live." After all, what could be better than curling up with a hot, buttery bag of popcorn, a blanket and an hour and a half of some pretty damn funny co- medic sketches? We all know the skits from televi- sion - everything from David Spade's recent "And you are ... ?" and Adam Sandler's "Opera Man," to Kevin Nealon's "Weekend Updates," to the wood-paneled basement party with Wayne and Garth. We don't have to stay home any- more to see them. "Saturday Night Live" is making its leap from televi- sion to the big screen. Lucky for us. Instead of staying in to.see our favorites - among them, Sandler, Spade and Farley - we must pay six bucks to see the old acts once broadcast for free. So where did this recent trend be- gin? The answer is simple: With "Wayne's World, Wayne's World, party time, EXCELLENT!" Mike Meyers and Dana Carvey certainly hammed it up for two hours on the big screen; their ridiculous logic and many "Sheaahhhh rights" were funny for the 30th time, if not the 1,000th. Still, the success of the original "Wayne's World" movie not only paved the way for a less-successful sequel but also for a whole slew of "SNL" invasions that, over the past month and years, have been taking over cinema as we know it. INVASION NO.1: It all started with "The Coneheads" several years ago. Starring Dan Akroyd and Jane Curtin, an eccentric (to say the least) family walked around with penises on their heads as they tried to cope with a strange lifestyle on a new planet. Big mistake: As we soon discov- ered, "The Coneheads" should have stayed put on NBC. Now, periodi- cally, we are forced to remember this flop as it appears on HBO over and over again. INVASION NO. 2: "Billy Madi- son," anyone? In this lackluster 1995 film, Adam Sandler plays some rich kid who goes back to elementary school to impress his dad. His silly antics and school-kid stunts triggered little, if any, Dan Akroyd and Jane Curtin In the spectacularly lame "Coneheads" movie. laughter from film audiences. So what does Sandler do? He makes "Happy Gilmore." Same story, dif- ferent setting; first, we see Sandler with an elementary-school bathroom pass, and now he's shifting gears with his hard-hitting golf swing. Maybe he's cute ... and maybe Sandier's pranks are even (as we pain- fully admit) fun to watch at times. But somehow, his act is more fun when Sandler is doing what he knows best - "Opera Man" and other skits on television. Hey, we don't even mind if he sings once in awhile, but by putting himself on the big screen yet again, Sandler is doing nothing but adding to the repre- hensible "SNL" trend of fomer cast members who can't make it in the movies (for further evidence, see be- low). INVASION NO. 3: Here, we are hit hard by the double whammy acting efforts of-- you guessed it - Chris Farley and David Spade. In 1994, this duo teamed up in a feeble attempt to make us laugh with "Tommy Boy." Unfortunately, for many of us, two hours of watching Farley as the Big Stupid Loser Boy and Spade as the Scrawny Smart Dorky Dude did not do the trick (despite the efforts of our younger siblings to convince us they did). Much to our dismay, this pair was also responsible for INVASION NO. 4. In case we didn't laugh the first time around, Farley and Spade gave moviegoers another chance with their latest release "Black Sheep," or more accurately "Tommy Boy - Part Two." How nice of them. But wait ... there's more. Remem- ber Stuart Smalley (you know - the dude who sits in front of a mirror, whispering, 'I am a 10 and gosh darn it, people like me')? How can we. forget about his movie "Stuart Saves His Family?" Enough said. "Stuart" can just be added to the list of flops contributing to the downward spiral of "SNL" on the big screen. Didn't it all seem much more funny when the sketches were just 10 min- utes long? Suddenly, we're in the the- aters for two hours, and we are, in most cases, not laughing. And where is this trend going? Dare we ask? From a takeoff of Jack Handey's "Deep Thoughts" to "The Gap," we can only - with fear - guess what's next. One thing is certain, however. De- spite the change from "SNL" televi- sion to "SNL" cinema, the audience remains the same. Not long ago, we stayed home on Saturday nights to see them. Now, we are still staying home - this time to avoid their takeover of our local theaters. An older, wiser Bob Seger attempts a career resuscitation with his new album, "It's a Mystery." Older, wiser Seger hits the road (again) with new record one's favorite 12-step veteran, Stuart Smalley (Al Franken, shown here in the movie version of his "SNL" skit). CERNER CORPORATION I Cerner is an industry leader in the development and implementation of clinical information systems for the healthcare industry. To position our organization for continued growth and success in this dynamic, high technology area, we are seeking entry level candidates. Qualified degreed candidates will have a strong interest in healthcare and information technology. They will have maintained a strong grade point average in their program of study and they will possess solid interpersonal and leadership skills. Specific degree requirements are open. Most important, candidates must be action-oriented, career-minded and self-motivated. 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International locations include London, United Kingdom, Sydney, Australia, Munich, Germany 1141 BROADWAY OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK ,BREADSTIX SPECIALS * " " " " " " a IBREAD TIXS WITH ANY ORDER INCLUDES * a FREE SAUCE: - EXPIRES 430-96 maISISS uarargre..uaunutaeaegsgegeggh SUPER PIZZA SPECIAL: LARGE s " - PIZZA 0ih cheese * AX EXTRA ITEMS $1.00 EXPIRESs 4i ,,,i,,,i,laai l,,,,,!a,= Itt{/1t11ggggg!g The Hartford Courant Bob Seger is back on the road after an eight-year absence. For rock 'n' roll warhorses, the road has tended to mean a lot of young folks screaming their heads off on the bus and staying up all hours of the night and a certain amount of spitting up. That's true again in 1996, but this time it's because Seger is bringing along his two kids, ages 3 and almost 1. "They're out on the road with me," Seger said over the phone from Phila- delphia while preparing for the tour's 12th show. "It's great. I see a lot more of them out here than I do when I'm rehears- ing," he says. "We put the rifle head- phones on 'em, which can knock down 30 dBs, and bring 'em right up on stage - and they just grin away at Dad." Rifle headphones? It seems to fit in with a lot of the other imagery on his 18th album, "It's a Mystery," his first new studio effort in four years when it was released last fall. In addition to the single "Lock and Load," it includes the Tom Waits' song "16 Shells from a 30-6," "Hands in the Air" and a bit more gunplay in "Man- hattan." "It wasn't a conscious thing," Seger says. "I did a lot of reading when I had the kids. You hear things like 135,000 kids go to school every day with a handgun in this country, you know what I mean? So I guess this stuff was on my mind because my kids are going to be going to school, and their future in general was on my mind. "I wrote one song that didn't make it to the record that the band abso- lutely loves called 'Crossfire,' yet an- other gun reference. But I didn't re- ally realize there were that many gun references until people like you started pointing it out. "'Lock and Load,' I just started singing it one day," Seger says. "The way I was perceiving it was: 'Time to get serious' - a metaphor for that. Time to hunker down and do your best." Seger is hunkered down in part as a reaction to having kids. Responsibili- ties at home have made him concen- trate on his craft to get things done quicker. "You gotta have a lot more focus because you don't have nearly the time you used to have," he says. "I was used to having huge chunks of time to do stuff and got pretty spoiled in that regard. So now you really have to focus on what you're doing - if you want to be a good parent, that is." His tour is attracting a wide range of ages; it runs to May and may con- tinue in late summer outdoors. "I wasn't sure the fans would come out," he says, although most shows have been selling out. "I knew I'd lose some people on this album be- cause it's a very different album for me. I used to write about relation- ships, and now, with the kids,.I'm writing about national problems."' Also, his work has been wholly rejected by MTV. "It's simply age discrimination, says Seger, 50, author of "Rock an Roll Never Forgets." "I hate to say it, but it's the only thing that I can think of: 'Well, what are you going to do?' Radio's the same way; you got your 'alternative." Not that he's saying, "Today's music ain't got no soul." "I think Oasis is very interesting. They're coming off a little arrogant, which I don't think is going to help but I think they're quite good," Segt says. "I loved Nirvana. That was really sad, because I thought that guy (Kurt Cobain) really had it. He seemed to really have rock in his spirit." Seger says he was amused by Pearl, Jam's much-publicized problems with Ticketron as the band tried to hold prices to $18. "The fascinating thing on that is that we never charged mor than $18. Ever. And here it was fiv years after we had been off the road, and he couldn't do it. That killed me. That's how much everything changed." Seger's own ticket prices are up to $26 and $32 because "everything is up - hotels are up, sound and light costs are up. I think we're eminently reason- able." Seger forged his career as a regional star from Detroit, with local hits such as "Heavy Music" and "Ea Side Story" in the late '60s. "We had like 10 Top 10 records in Detroit before 'Ramblin' Gamblin' Man' went national," he recalls. That was in 1968. But his career never really hit its stride until after his "'Live' Bul- let" album 20 years ago, followed by "Night Moves," at which time he was already lamenting that "Sweet 16's turned 31." What was it about the Motor C1 that grew such an unusually energetic crop of rockers, from Ted Nugent and Iggy Stooge to MC5 and Sponge to- day? "I used to always say way back in the '60s that people worked very hard, so they tend to play hard. And they tend to want something with energy; you can see that in the Motown stuff," he says. And the rock bands, he adds, were all pretty much high energy." Hitless for most of this decade, Seger's voice has still been heard on a regular basis; at every wedding party, for sure, with "OldTimewRock & Roll," and during every televised sporting event where there's a Chevy truck ad. At a time when most roots rockers were stridently refusing to sell their hits to Madison Avenue, Seger agreed to let General Motors use his "Like a Rock" as a way to boost the sagging Detr4 economy in 1990 - and it's been use ever since. "It saved a lot ofjobs in my area, and that's exactly what we set out to do," he says. "It wasn't a moneymaker, per se. So I feel good about that aspect of it."