8A - The lRchigan Daily -- Monday, February 5, 1996 Ex-member Chris Farley and current member David Spade are aiming to be the black sheep of the Saturday Night Live cast. 'Sheep' for stoners and losers only The Folding Star Alan Hollinghurst Vintage International The plot synopsis on the back of the book caught my eye immediately: unat- tainable and unquenchable love, a com- plex and interweaving story, and con- troversial/sexual subject matter. And, in truth, the author makes good on these vague promises. Unfortunately, such promises prove liabilities rather than highlights for "The Folding Star," Hollinghurst's second novel. What initially seemed to be interest- ing, in the end formed an annoying and essentially disappointing work. The book has, actually, not three fascinat- ing points, but three mortal flaws. It is an accidental insult to a life-style it seeks to humanize. It is a perhaps con- scious insult to theidea of eloquence. Most sadly, it is an absolute mistake insofar as choice of plot. At one point in the book, Hollinghurst shows terrific poetic ability by having Manners (the protagonist) combine the style of Gerard Manley Hopkins with homoerotic sex-chat. It is entertaining and, quite honestly, ingenious. Why then, I ask, if Hollinghurst can give his protagonist such lyrical prowess, could he not, himself, demonstrate some sort of eloquence, as well. The prose of this book is simply boring. When he tries to be poetic, Hollinghurst ends up verbose and tiresome, invoking trite language. In these best moments, he essentially describes a sunset and then, acciden- tally, defecates upon it. These failed attempts at eloquence are a foreshadowing of Hollinghurst's failed attempt at humanizing a gener- ally unknown or misunderstood life- style. Although Hollinghurst deals with very intimate and important aspects of male homosexuality and seeks to give a broad picture of the modern gay lifestyle, he succeeds only in scandaliz- ing it. The would-be gay hero, Edward Manners, for the most part, is a very intelligent, interesting and good hearted man. As we eventually learn, the story of his life is a fascinating, somewhat ex- ceptional tale, but at the same time contains a great deal that almost any- one could relate to. His personal inse- curity about himselfand his relation to other people is presented in genius detail (the reader can hear Manner's thoughts as they stream across his mind and, at the same time, imagine those same questioning thoughts arising in his own mind). In many ways, Manners is a typical man of the '90s who happens to be gay, and thus, a bit more complex. But then it all goes awry. Hollinghurst de- stroys this fascinating character by making him not simply an intellectual and gay but adding to the pot a ten- dency for pedophilia and a bizarre scatological fetish. Is the book made more interesting by these additions? No, it is merely made longer. These two traits are never actually reconciled with the rest of Manners' character. They simply stick out as unbelievable anomalies. The worst part is that these "anomalies" are central to the plot. Much of the book deals with the 33-year-old Manners' desire to sleep with his 17-year-old student, Luc. When Manners seeks to quench his hunger the result is inane: he fanta- sizes about Luc urinating on him or defecating on him (the list is ab- surdly long), and when these fanta- sies are not satisfied, he steals pic- tures of Luc as well as his soiled underwear and socks (which he pro- ceeds to wear). All this is presented as a sign of Manners' love. But the fact is, this obsession is for a boy that Manners' hardly knows. He wishes to tell Luc he loves him before they had even exchanged a few words. Annoyingly, Hollinghurst spends the entire book expecting us to accept* erotic dream or a quick screw as a sign of eternal love. While this aspect of the book does offer an interesting, though probably inadvertent, commentary on how society's condemnation and rejec- tion of open homosexuality results in limiting the possibility for a more "tra- ditional" love among gays, in a legal sense - that they can not get legally married, for example - it does a better job atportrayinghomosexualsas amo lithic block of little-boys' underpants wearing, shallow and unlovable men. In other words, no matter Hollinghurst's intent, his book is the stuff bad stereo- types and senseless bigotry are created from. The saddest part about "The Fold- ing Star," however, is that is does have some very good parts to it. A good 100-page block, which is mostly ex- traneous to the central plot, is al lutelyhwonderful but, unfortunately, it is right in the middle of this dense swamp of a book. The story begins with a few essential issues (first among them, the obsession with Luc) then, wisely abandons them for a subplot history of both Manners' life and of the fictional painter Edgard Orst. But, alas, the old issues are reintroduced, nearly solved, then, a moment-too soon (or perhaps, a novel too late), a1& doned for new issues in an obnoxious twist of melodrama. Hollinghurst shows some real talent in this novel, but it comes in flashes both rare and far between. The novel's high points are simply drowned out by the over ambitious, poorly constructed, clumsily delivered bulk. Hollinghurst tells us in the book that the "Folding Star" is the star shepherds look for at night as a sign to bring in their fol f sheep. Perhaps Hollinghurst shc i have kept his eye out for such a star while writing this novel - no doubt it would have told him to stop much sooner. - James Wilson By Christopher Corbett Daily Arts Writer The promoters of"Black Sheep" have tried to hail Chris Farley and David Spade as the next great comedy team. R EVIEW Black Sheep ZERO Directed by Penelope Spheeris; with Chris Farley and David Spade At Briarwood and Showcase But Laurel and Hardy they're not. These feebs aren't even Lenny and Squiggy. "Black Sheep" has just two funny sequences - nowhere near enough to recommend the film. But the two mo- ments can crack you up. Both scenes occur when the guys are high. In the first one, Farley smokes up at a concert and goes on stage, uttering such solilo- quies as "Kill Whiteys!" as he does a speed-metal head-thrashing (all we see is a blur of stringy blonde hair). MTV films it all - they mistake him for his running-for-governor brother, Al. The film offers nothing special; its laughs certainly are no different than those we'd get from a good episode (a RECORDS Continued from Page 5A Jude Cole Idon't know why Iact this way Island Records If music made you feel completely apathetic, then chances are you prob- ably wouldn't listen to it. Well, it's a good thing our ears have other musical options besides Jude Cole. This CD lacks what every solid band has achieved - that is, heartfelt music. The slow, soft and boring melodies combined with cliched lyrics are a great choice if you can't fall asleep. Hailing from Los Angeles, it seems as if Cole set out to find a middle ground between the likes of Sting and Chris Isaak. Unfortunately, he comes up a bit short, turning out stale tunes that simply don't grab one's attention. However, on a few occasions, a certain potential is heard that tells the listener, "I'm not that bad. People dig my music at that small, smoky bar in uhh ... Little Rock, Arkansas." Jude Cole certainly makes use ofplenty of eclectic instruments in the majority of histracks-although theaccordian, cello, hammond organ, calliope, wurlitzer and chamberlain all take a back seat to the acoustic guitar. Maybe if there were less singing and more playing he could add some integrity to the music. The band should emulate what they've done with "Move if you're goin'." Here he picks up the pace and adds some catchy guitar licks to the background vocals. Ifhe would sticktothis style instead ofthe love songs, then maybe he'd have a future. It's just too bad that the name Jude Cole sounds a lot cooler than the music. - Aaron Huppert rarity) of "Saturday Night Live." In the only other funny sequence, Farley and Spade inadvertently inhale nitrous oxide fumes in their stolen po- lice car. A cop pulls them over, and after Farley guesses that he was driving 65, the officer raises his eyebrows, say- ing, "You were driving seven." Spade and Farley try to play it off and keep their giggling in check, and we laugh at them. Like a loser who only feels good when high, "Black Sheep" is only funny when the guys are stoned. Otherwise, well, when they discover a vampire bat in their log-cabin, what do you think happens? Does Spade do something clever like try to catch it with two metal pots? Does Farley get the bloodsucker stuck in his hair and knock the cabin apart like a bull? Does the scene take forever to end? Does the moon go around the Earth? The film, chock-full of slapstick com- edy, focuses on brutalizing Chris Farley. Somebody please tell director Penelope Spheeris ("Wayne's World") to grab the reins. Once we've seen one scene of Farley retarded, ravished and ravaged, we've seen them all. He just seems to get fatter and sweatier and fatter as the film goes on. After 5 million times of watching Farley roll down hills and slam car hoods on his thumbs, we real- ize that we're starting to like the sound of his agonized screams. The story line makes Spade a poor slob, crying, "Whoever said women Like a loser who only feels good when high, "Black Sheep" is only funny when the guys are stoned like men with no money?! Boo hoo!" Spade hopes to move up in the world by offering to keep Farley out ofthe way of his brother Al's campaign ... Jesus Christ Superstar!! WHAT story line?! The film might have been killer had it shot for complete chaos. Farley and Spade would have entertained us had they gone berserk throughout. But the film force-feeds us a script that fails to get us to care about the brothers' rela- tionship. Our reaction is like that of our 2-year-old cousin eating Gerber's cream-of-squash: "Bleccch!" "Black Sheep," for any viewer who's intelligent or not stoned, does what a vamnire hat would do: sucks. Win Free Passes to "Leaving Las Vegas" and meet the film's director In what 1987 movie did Nicholas Cage star opposite Holly Hunter? Answer this question correctly and win free passes to see Mike Figgis' critically acclaimed drama, "Leaving Las Vegas," at 7 p.m. this Wednesday at the Michigan Theater. After all, "Vegas" was just named the No. film of 1995 by the Daily. Aren't you just dying to see what everyone is talking about? Need a better reason? Well, we've got one. After the film you will have the opportunity to attend an informal reception and discussion with screenwriter/ director Mike Figgis. How can you pass this one up? Just stop in to the Daily Arts office of the Student Publications Building, 420 Maynard St. after Noon today. Give us the answer and you'll get a great way to spend a Wednesday night. Remember, no purchase necessary and our supplies are limited, so only one pass per person. Each pass admits two people. All employees of the Daily and MGM pictures are not eligible to win. Hell II: Back Into Hell," you might wonder, how could he ever top those beauties? But he does! You gotta love the first single, "I'd Lie For You (And That's the Truth)," if not for its ingenious and original song title, then for its Indiana Jones- like epic video. Meat on land. Meat on water. Meat in the air. Meat on motorcycle. But most of all, Meat gets the girl. But surely, Meat gets all the girls. "Welcome to the Neighborhood" tackles the same old meaty ground as the rest of the Loaf's illustrious ca- reer with new songs like "Runnin' For the. Red Light (I Gotta Life)" and "If This Is the Last Kiss (Let's Make It Last All Night)." The record is pretty good for any cheese rock al- bum, and all the girlies will surely dig it, especially because they all dig the Loaf, right? But "Welcome to the Neighborhood" is, in fact, quite good. Rare is it that there's an album that you have to either love or laugh at. No middle meat. Either way, it's great. Meat Loaf and Cheese. Or is it Cheese and Meat Loaf? - Brian A. Gnatt Speech Speech EMI Records As far as I'm concerned, Speech's solo album serves one main purpose. It basi- cally gives away the secret to Arrested Development - that even though there were like 46 people in that group, it was all Speech, and those other 45 decorative pieces didn't really contribute much to that two-hit sensation. So Speech decided to drop the extra weight, get rid of the name and become a solo project. Now, let's get one thing straight - even though Speech drops a couple nice rhymes on this album, he's not an MC, he's a singer who digs hip-hop. So if you were into Arrested Develop- ment, you'll definitely be into this al- bum, 'cause it's way betterthan anything that Arrested Development put out. And even though Speech has a lot of shiny happy things to say, most of the beats aren't for hippies. In fact, a couple of the beats have a pretty tight hip-hop edge. He even samples "Top Billin"' by Milk, the MC formally in Audio Two. But the themes of his songs aren t quite in the same alleyway as the hus- tIers, pimps and gangstas ruling the hip- hop scene these days. Speech explains, "A lot of songs out now are the equiva- lent of a two-second blurb on the news instead of a full-length film that reflects who we really are. This album, in many ways, illustratesmy frustrations with the current environment." Track 9, "Like Marvin Gaye Said, (What's Going On)" is a sincere tribute to the late great Marvin, and a genuine appreciation and understanding for Marvin's soulful expression and struggle to accept the hardships that African Americans, and society as a whole, face each day. The song interweaves samples of Marvin from "Inner City Blues" For those of you who want flowery rhymes of political and spiritual aware- ness with a slight hip-hop feel, this al- bum will do you good. For the rest of us, this album will get as much play in the CD player as Arrested Developmentdoes . none. -Kimberly Howitt The Foremen Ain't no liberal Reprise The Foremen must expect that thei single, "Ain't No Liberal," is going to sell slowly. Given their grave error in cove art, they ought to expect negative sales. The sad truth is that- in light ofthis bein political parody of the right - they ugly ol' Phil Gramm on the cover. T , being educated, I understand the referene to Gramm's switching ofparties way bac when (thus the lyrics, "I once was a liberal, but I ain't no liberal no more.") However, in America Phil Gramm equals bad. Tha means that unless the prospective buye knows the Foremen intimately, he or sh will probably not buy this single. OK, let's set the politics to the side to se exactly what this song is all about For e it's obviously a barbershop quartet pretty standard four-part harmonies. Ad ditionally, the lead singerembellishes quit nicely the melody over the gospel-styl accompaniment. Yet, it's the vicious lyr ics that draw most of the attention. "Ain't No Liberal" is like a no-hold barred cage match, where the bad gu pulls out the foreign object. The Fore men pull out numerous foreign objects insinuating that conservatives want t end women's suffrage, that all coon vatives are white supremacists and that in general, conservatives are hearties jerks. I'd imagine a liberal would find pretty humorous. Even I almost laughed - Brad Havwoo Meatloaf may be the cheese but he sure scores big time with the ladies. Meat Loaf Welcome to the Neighborhood MCA Welcome to the world of Meat Loaf. In Meat Loaf land everything has to be grand, every song has to have at least 10 words in the title and every song has to be 10 minutes long. And don't forget the cheese. It's the cheesiest! And don't forget that this cheese has sold more than 45 million records worldwide and made the Loaf's 1977 "Bat Out of Hell" the No. 3 top selling album of all time. He also starred in the original Broadway production and movie of the "Rocky Horror Picture Show." Most of all - for all you Michiganders - he sang lead vocals on the "Motor City Madman" Ted Nugent's "Free For All." If that's not the definition of cool, then what is? So what's not to like about Meat Loaf? Whether you like rock epics, cheese rock, big chunky guys singing about stupid stuff, or you hate all of this, you still gotta love the Loaf. With song titles like "I'd Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)" and "Ob- jects In the Rear View Mirror May Appear Closer Than They Are" on his 1993 comeback smash hit "Bat Out of Graduate Study in Electrical Engineering Are you interested in conducting leading edge research? Are you concerned about funding opportunities? As one of the hottest small departments in Electrical Engineering, we invite you to apply to our graduate programs leading to master's and doctoral degrees. Our recent graduates are working for major corporations including IBM, Bellcore and DuPont, and are teaching at respected U.S. universities Research facilities include a class 10 cleanroom for semiconductor processing and a world class multimedia lab with 24 new SGI workstations connected by an ATM network. The Department is part of the recently announced ARL's Federated Laboratory in Telecommunications. Here we see the now solo Speech. MMM9 SINGERS Continued from Page 5A dezvous," which functioned as a great crowd pleaser complete with kazoos, sound effects, knee slaps and a dedi- cation for the song which made it into a wedding proposal from some- one in the audience. The crowd ate it up. Also on. stage was the Huron Hig School A Capella Choir. Their pres ence amounted to essentially fund-rais ing musical wallpaper. The choir adde nothing to the musical experience.$ judging from their constant snickerin when not on stage, probably game nothing from the experience either. Still, there were certainly enough en joyable moments to make the conce worth the less-than-perfect moments. 747-9400 1220 S. University Above McDonalds, Kinko's SPRING "DTDTU A TT L 100L -.,6 mot alt. IL -~ 4fqmba