The Michigan Daily - Tuesday, January 30, 1996 - 9 'Death' kills interest suddenly By Kristen Okosky Daily Arts Writer It s a Van Damme movie. Need I say more? ;,sA&an audience, we're already going infdis movie with pretty low expecta- 'ie0tlWe don't need pure art. We just pant an entertaining, fast-paced action ick that can hold our attention. Unfortunately, "Sudden Death" can- not even deliver in this capacity. The film opens as our generic hero, Jean-Claude (as a fireman this time), fails to rescue a little girl caught in a burning blaze. This tragic event is meant to motivate his character in the tradition of "Cliffhanger" and more recently and hu- orously, "Ace Ventura: When Nature Walls." Will it break him or inspire him to atergreatness? We can only guess. He is also divorced a la "Die Hard," subtly signaling to the audience that he is aman driven by his work andisolated in his pain. Obviously, when his wife learns of his failure, she has to take his childen away and start having sex with someone else immediately. What else b is a gal in an action movie to do? REVIEW Sudden Death Directed by Peter Hyams with Jean-Claude Van Damme At Fox Village Years later (as a caption tells us), some generic bad guys take over a hockey rink where the vice president of the United States is in attendance; Jean- Claude is now working as a security guard and his two cute kiddies happen to be enjoying a game. The villains do not have a cause or plight. (Luckily, they seem to be part of that just-plain-greedy trend in bad guys that makes the screenwriter's job so much easier.) They demand that funds. be transferred into their own accounts each period or someone dies and, even- tually, the whole stadium will blow. The government agrees to the demands, but stalls and doesn't do as it says. Surely this is a bizarre and completely unrealis- tic plot twist none of us can believe. Can Jean-Claude prove himself to his kids and save the vice president and a stadium full of innocent civilians all at once? Things look pretty bleak until, shockingly, the hockey game below goes into sudden death overtime. (Hence, the name of the film. Are you paying attention?) This movie is pure formula. The only typical element missing is the love in- terest. I originally thought it might be the cute blond in the Penguins' mascot suit, but I was forced to revise this thesis when she died in the first 15 minutes. I guess filmmakers did not feel necrophilia would add that special something the film is lacking. But despite the fact that it contains nearly all the conventional elements, "Sudden Death" doesn't work. For one, it drags. There are some OK fight scenes, but most of them are played for an unsuccessful, comical effect (es- pecially in the kitchen, where an evil penguin is maimed by a dishwasher and a security guard is terminated with a large bone to the jugular). "When will this game end so I can go home and get out of this tight uniform? These boots are killing me!" The final confrontation, which takes place on the stadium roof, is actually somewhat suspenseful -especially for those of us afraid of heights. It starts to draw us in, but at this point, it's too late. All in all, "Sudden Death" is a poor quality cross between the familiar plots of"Die Hard" and "Under Siege" with- out any of their chemistry or spark. Will good triumph over evil, justice over lawlessness, and the forces of the universe be restored to their proper or- der? I recommend saving your seven bucks and taking a guess. The odds are in your favor. Sanan Rushdie The Moor 's Last Sigh Pantheon Books "T begin with, pass the pepper," is how the narrator introduces Salman Rushdie's novel "The Moor's Last gh." Yet pepper, and other spices, are only a few of the ingredients in Rushdie's exotic and convoluted narra- tive. The story is told by Moraes Zogoiby, known as "Moor," a wry, dramatic and engaging narrator. He relates a surreal four-part family history, spanning the entire 20th century - "a Moor's tale, complete with sound and fury," which is'noexaggeration. It includes murder, fdction, British-Indian conflicts, masterpieces of art, counterfeit Lenins, burning spice fields ... and that's only the first section. Moor's family, the da Gama and Zogoiby clans, are Bombay spice mer- chants. The central figure of the group is, Aurora Zogoiby, Moor's mother, whpm he describes as "too bright a star; look at her too long and you'd be blinded." Aurora is a beautiful, im- ensely talented painter, also re- nowned for her hot temper and sharp tonigue. She dominates the book from thefjrst scene, and while the story begins in her grandparents' genera- tionit has the most life and vividness when Aurora is involved in the ac- tion. the book follows Aurora's scandal- *us marriage to Abraham Zogoiby (she's a young Christian heiress, he's a *iddle-aged Jewish clerk), and the lives of their children Ina, Minnie, Mynah, and Moor. Along the way, fortunes, paintings and relationships are created and lost, and all these events are re- corded by Moor. It would be enough to have written this family saga; Rushdie's frenetically active variation on the genre makes an entry like "The House of the Spirits" look dull. To make his tale even more ' nusual, the first half is spiced with stances of magic realism - which actually seem as plausible as the rest of the plot. Moor, for example, was born with a condition that forces him to physically age twice as fast as normal. "Four and a ;half months from conception to birth," forexample. But"ifabirth is the fallout Free! Free! Free! 'hat's exactly how you could describe the passes that we have for the new period epic film, "Restoration," now playing at the Michigan Theater. This film, starring Robert Downey Jr., Meg Ryan, Sam Neill and Hugh Grant - among many others - is an extensive study of one of the most tumultuous periods in British history. So are you interested yet? Well, for you and a companion to see this movie, all ou have to do is stop by the Daily Arts office, 420 Maynard St., seclnd floor, and answer the question: In what recent film, directed by Jodie Foster, did t6wney star? Then take your pass to the Michigan and have some fun! You know you deserve it. Do you want /l to wnteb conCert, art, danCe or from the explosion caused by the union of two unstable elements, then perhaps a half-life is all we can expect." Moor's fictional world also features ghosts and synagogue tiles whose pictures change, but these phenomena are presented as more or less usual events. The tone of the book changes in the third and fourth sections. Uma, Moor's lover, is introduced as Aurora's nem- esis and opposite number, but never catches the reader's attention as Aurora does. After Aurora's death, the story veers into far less interesting worlds; Abraham discovers organized crime, and con- verts the family business from the spice trade to banking and the World Wide Web. However, the action goes back to normal (that is, abnormal, in this case) with Moor's strange, final journey to Spain in search of Aurora's lost paint- ings. The novel's structure becomes es- pecially important, as the book draws to a close. Moor has lost all of his family, and finally succumbs to exile and imprisonment. Frequent refer- ences are made throughout the book to the Sultan of Granada, an ancestor who met a similar fate in 1492 - and who also had a deceptive lover and powerful mother. Their two stories are linked, as are the themes of loss contrasting to "the defeated love that is greater than what defeats it, to that most profound of our needs, to our need for flowing together." Readers will no doubt think of a third linked story - Rushdie's own. The author has been in hiding since afatwa, or death sentence, was issued for him in 1989. But it is fortunate that Rushdie, like Moor, has been able to tell such a story while in exile. "The Moor's Last Sigh" is a brilliant and relentlessly in- triguing work. - Elizabeth Lucas doll. She is an artist. Photographer Jody Cobb takes the perception of the geisha one step fur- ther in her photo study "Geisha." The straightforward, honest view Cobb of- fers into the life of the Japanese per- formers proves that geisha are not only doll-like and beautiful, but also not solely anonymous artists. Delving deep inside the private lives of the women who practice this ancient tradition, Cobb's photographsillustrate that these "icons" are one thing above all else: Human. Some of the most startling photo- graphs are simply those of the women going about their everyday lives. Smok- ing a cigarette. Kneeling in prayer. Sleeping. It brings back the reality that underneath the makeup and elaborate Kimono is a woman with the same dreams and fears as any other woman. Considering that this type of "art" involves playing along with a very male fantasy, geisha may sometimes be perceived as submissive, or in a less-powerful position than the men that they entertain. The quotes Cobb includes next to her strikingly beauti- ful photographs suggest that just the opposite may be the case. The fact that the geisha can separate the woman she is from the woman she becomes as a performer is a power in and of itself. "A man becomes a geisha's patron as a secondhand way of acquiring art. He just acquires the person who performs the art," a geisha named Mayumi points out. Cobb, a National Geographic staff photographer, has managed to capture this particular life-style without judg- ing or glorifying it in the process. The photographs of the old, the young, the painted and the plain women are head on, real, alive. But perhaps, in the end, only a geisha herself can sum up what Cobb's photographs attempt to illustrate. "In the geisha world," Mayumi says to Cobb, "the saving grace is that even though you may enter with nothing, you will come out with your own skill, your world of art. That's a huge thing you gain. And what I have just said is what you should have as the final thing in your book." And knowing when wise words have been spoken, Cobb placed this quote on the very last page. - Kari Jones RECORDS Continued from Page 8 Various Artists Music From the MGM Original Motion Picture Bio-Dome Priority Let me be honest- I didn't see "Bio- Dome." I just wouldn't feel right pay- ing $7 to see The WEEEEEEEEZEL and the black-sheep Baldwin in their retarded adventure. Don't get me wrong - Pauly Shore is a comedic genius, right on par with Jerry Lewis, but I'll just wait for it to come out on video. But the "Bio-Dome" soundtrack ... that's a different story. Like many other recent Gen X comedies, the soundtrack sounds a bit more promising than the movie it's supposed to support. The great thing about the "Bio-Dome" soundtrack is its combination of new and old tracks to make one big ol' fun record. The album kicks off with a new androckin' remix of Men Without Hats' '80s classic "The Safety Dance." Bow Wow Wow's "I Want Candy," Camper Van Beethoven's "Good Guys & Bad Guys," and "World Destruction" by Time Zone (featuring John Lydon and Afrika Bambatta) are all here, too. The soundtrack also features Wax covering Bobby Freeman's "Do Yo Wanna Dance" (previously covered by the Ramones) and Fourth Grade Nothing's version of"Kids In America" (which was incidentally also covered by the Muffs on last year's "Clueless" soundtrack). New material on the disc includes Wax's cool new track, "Your Intelli- gence" and a new Magnapop tune, "Come On Inside." Among some ofthe remaining tracks are the Dance Hall Crashers' "Don't Wanna Behave," and those wacky Rugburns with "Subur- bia." Here we see the Rugburns, four fine, upstanding young gentlemen. Jody Cobb Geisha Knopf To the western world, the geisha is somewhat of an icon, a Japanese doll, painted in the palest whites, the deepest reds and clothed in a delicate beauty at all times. Perhaps native Japanese know that the geisha is more than a dancer, more than a "prostitute" or a delicate CAMP TAKAJOI for Boys p.p 1 Ad LananLake.. I. I i awv otg vcArw! NJ i '! i " i :i 1IU <<