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The Mich

an Daly --.

14 - The Michigan Daily - Best of Ann Arbor - Thursday. Aoril 13. 1995

Best Protest(s):
Students vs. the

Best Cause Cilebre:
The 'Dental School

'Contract on America'
This catch-phrase was clever the
first several hundred times it was
used to lampoon House Republi-
cans' "Contract With America."
The College Democrats incorpo-
rated an added twist into their re-
cent Diag rally against cuts in fi-
nancial aid - towels. LSA first-
year student Edna Yang put it best:
Republicans are "taking the shirts
off our backs, but we're not going
to throw in the towel." Cynics take
note: Activism is alive and well.

ting ready for the Nude Mile? You be the judge.
Best Open Code
Hearing:
F or Y Melanie:Welch and the
_ p Alleged Garden Hose

Incident
This case wins by default because it
is the only open code hearing. Welch,
a doctoral student, was charged with
harassment by garden hose. The hear-
ing provided for an interesting nine
hours of testimony.
As to whether or not the garden
hose charges were true, Welch testi-
fied: "There's mixed evidence on
whether I squirted them. I absolutely
did not."
Yaakov Lavie, Welch's ex-neigh-
bor and the case's complainant, said
of the hearing: "I think that everyone
that attended the hearing, including
the audience, can understand the hard
experience I had."
Judicial Adviser Mary Lou Antieau
observed of the case: "Usually the ex-
changes are much more structured."

Three'
As a symbol of either University rac-
ism or the excesses of the National
Women's Rights Organizing Coali-
tion, the "Dental School Three" were
in the spotlight. NWROC activists
and sympathizers claim the three were
fired in a racist plot; the University
denies any wrongdoing. NWROC has
seized on the issue to promote mass
action against racism, but Diag ral-
lies have been sparsely attended. As
of press time, the firings have failed
to ignite a mass movement to crush
fascism on campus.
Best Regent:
Andrea Fischer Newman
Elected last November, the Ann Arbor
Republican is the most accessible re-
gent, even return-
ing reporters'
phone calls while
skiing in Vail,
Colo. Politicallyk
moderate, articu-
late, well-trav-
eled - a politi-
cian befitting the
University's lofty
stature.
Best Unsuccessful
Campaign Device:
In-line Skates
Daniel Cherrin, an LSA sophomore,
hatched a novel gimmick in his cam-
paign for a state House seat. The West
Bloomfield native glided door to door
in his in-line roller skates. Cherrin
garnered national attention for his tac-
tic, not to mention grace on skates,
but that wasn't enough: He lost.

Best MSA Gaffe:
Those 200 missing
ballots
Touting one of the highest voter turn-
outs in years, Michigan Student As-
sembly representatives failed to give
themselves enough credit. Two days
after they finished tabulating votes,
assembly members discovered 200
uncounted ballots on the office floor,
a blooper that altered the outcome of
one race.
Best Mass Transit
Proposition:
The North Campus
Monorail
Ferrying masses of students to North
Campus at warp speed - the stuff
of Star Trek fantasy come true, or a
monumental folly a la former Detroit
Mayor Coleman Young's People
Mover? Conceived by Engineering
students and supported by the Wol-
verine Party in this spring's MSA
election, the North Campus Monorail
is an idea whose time has come.
Best Coincidence,
Or Is It?
From the Monday, April 3 Daily:
"IRS says 'U' owes $7.7M in back
taxes." In an unrelated story: "'U'
rakes in cool $7.8M by lending out
logo to merchandisers." Easy come,
easy go.

The great thing about this slogan is that
it works for people from all walks of
life. The Zen philosopher can ponder
its deeper meanings, the kindergartener
can, er, ponder its deeper meanings, and
in all seriousness, everyone, every-
where will hopefully realize that when
someone says "No," that's exactly what
they mean.
Best MSA Member:
Amy Andriekus
Hey, you may not know her person-

The big man of Tibetan Buddhism
speaks about religion and the state
of the world, and Marcia Brady tells
you to use a condom. Now wouldn't
it be interesting if the Dhali Lama
spoke about safe sex and Maureen
McCormick gave you a step by step
guide to obtaining enlightenment?
Or what if they just banded together
and talked about Buddhist philoso-
phy in relation to old episodes of
the Brady Bunch? "Marcia, Marcia,
Marcia ... What does it REALLY
mean?"

complex.
Best Student Group:
AIESEC
Yeah, it sounds like a weird name, but
it's really a French acronym that
translates into the Internation Asso-
ciation of Students in Economics and
Business Management. Boy, those
wacky foreigners. Always trying to
confuse us simple Americans.
Fraternity to Party With:
Phi Delta Theta
Well, most people might think that
you'd have to be a sorority to party
with Phi Delta Theta. But they're nice
people. I bet they would -put in an
appearance at your house party if you
asked them really, really nicely.
Sorority to Party With:
Alpha Phi
Hey! Will somebody please set up a
two way between Alpha Phi and Phi
Delta Theta? It'll be the bestest party

There's no better lecture hall
of the year filled with the
funnest people in town!
Best Co-op:
Nakumara Co-op
It's the master of living condit
the Fabio of student housing
Pulp Fiction of co-op's. Too 1
shutting down for the summe
Ugliest Building:
LSA Building
It's a little known fact, but ti
Building is actually quite1
around the world for its lovely
hue.

Best Activist Group: ally, but remember all those lost bal- Best Computing Center:
lots in the election? Well, that wasn't Angell Hall
NOW .her fault.AgllH l
The National Organization for Well, it's better than NUBS, for go
women is making a difference in Best Speaker in the Past ness sake! The blank stares of NU
women's issues. Right NOW! users look like that "Black Hole Si
Year: video. What kind of life do you h
Best Protest Slogan: Dhali Lama and Maureen when it is entirely caught up in wh
happening on the net? Talk abou
"No Means No" McCormick (tie). "Glass Menagerie"-like escapi!

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The stu

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-The Michigan Daily Readership Poll
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What's New In The Gauleria?
1214 S. University
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pp,

E iJ

Best Use of Balloons on
the Diag:
Friendly Days
In a spontaneous outburst of good-
will, students and even top Univer-
sity administrators trolled about the
Diag, spreading cheer along with
stickers and hot chocolate. A few
tightwads protested the frivolous
use of tuition money. The balloons
had no comment.

Music by HARRY WARREN - Lyrics by AL DUBIN
Direction and Choreography by DEBRA ANN DRAPER,
Dance Captain of the Broadway production
Musical Direction by JERRY DEPUIT
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APRIL 13 - 15 at 8PM --APRIL 16 at 2P)
Tickets are $16 and $12 - Charge by phone: 764-045C
Student seating is $6 with ID - at the League Ticket Office
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996-9191 1
Email : Ashley's@msen.com

the English Ales"


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