The Michigan Daiy - Weekend etc. - Thursday, March 2, 1995 -13 I L M S OPENING: THURSDAY THURSDAY THURSDAY HIDEAwAY Oliver Stone and Co. team up to bring us this shocking, contro versial flip side of the O.J. saga with man on the sce reports from the Leprechaun and the Hamburglar, who, amazingly encdgh, managed to sli into the back of the Ford Bronco when no one was looking. At Briarwoo 1:15, 4:40, 7:20, 10:00. At Showcase: 12:00, 2:35, 5:00, 7:35, 10:00, 12:25. THE MANGLER In a case of what one must dismiss as just really bad timing *ctor/football player/future final Jeopardy answer O.J. Simpson turned down the plum lead role in Surf Ninjas 3: Karate! to appear in this sus- pense flick about a wife-killing control freak. With to "Jake Baker" Kaelin as "The e-mailing houseguest." At Showc 12:30, 2:55, 5:20, 7:45, 10:10, 12:25. MAN OF THE HOUSE In a desperate attempt to latch onto the celebrity bandwagon on which his ample-and-growing behind no longer resides, Chevy "All my films suck" Chase and some blond ltd bring us the first Kato "Huh. Huh. Murder is cool." Kaelin bio-pic. At Showcase: 12:05, 2:20, 4:35, 7:15, 9:35, 11:50. OOMMATES Brad "The Sexiest Man Alive" Pitt and Brian "Kato" Kaelin take turns playing evil twin houseguests who eat peanut butter from the j, leave the seat up, and get really, really stoned right, before they're about I testify at murder trials. At Showcase: 12:10, 2:30, 4:50, 7:25, 9:50, 12:1 SHALLOW GRAVE Insert an O.J. reference here. Oh, come on, that's the firs thing that you thought of too. At Showcase: 12:00,j 1:50, 3:40, 5:30, 7:30 9:35.1 jar, to WOMEN a DIFFERENCES FLM SRIES Four short films about gay and lesbian life around the world. 1300 Chem. Free. MARTHA AND M (1991) German film about a Jewish obstetrician who marries his German housekeeper. Mich 7:00. LIFE AFTER LOvE (1992) Story of two adulterous lovers attempting to have successful adult romantic lives. Mich 9:15. F R I D A Y THE WOODEN MAN'S BRIDGE (1995) The fleshy man's movie. Mich 7:00. Lwu AFTER Love (1992) Brian "Kato" Kaelin mourns the death of Nicole as he continues to look for a job and a purpose in his life beyond mere cult stardom. Mich 9:15. S A T U R D A Y ANIMANIA More of that wacky Japanese animation stuff. MLB 3 5:00. Free. THE FOUR CORNERS OF NOWHERE (1994) Feature film produced, directed by and starring University grads. Like an "Easy Rider" that trucks through Ann Arbor. Mich 6:30. LEr THERE SE LIGHT (146) John Huston's short film documenting the psychiatric treatment of soldiers in a military hospital who are suffering the effects of World War Il. Nat Sci 7:00. THE MALTESE FALCON (1941) Humphrey Bogart investigates the intrigue and murders surrounding a bejeweled statue. Nat Sci 8:00. THE WOODEN MAN'S BRIDGE (1995) A must see for all you woodies out there. Mich 9:30. KEY LARGo (1948) Appropriately shown right in the middle of mid- terms to make everybody miss spring break in the Sunshine State and have a nervous breakdown. Nat Sci 9:45. S U N D A Y ANN ARBOR FILM FESTIVAL Open Screening See some of the contend- ers for the six-day festival later this year. Cava Java 7:00. THE WOODEN MAN'S BRIDGE (1995) If you don't understand.Chinese, then you'll be reading subtitles again. Ha ha! Mich 6:00. HousE OF WAx (1953) Special 3-D presentation of the horror classic starring Vincent "Thriller" Price. Mich 9:00. Loabs OF ACID Charged with driving their audience members in to a sexual frenzy, Lords of Acid is promoting their latest CD Voodoo-U. Come see this dangerously chaotic band with newcomer Dink at St. Andrew's Hall. 8 p.m. $8 in advance or (810) 645-6666. BROTHER RAsT A cover band for the college age doing some good ol' rock at Rick's. OvER THE RHINE Haunting and melodious, these I.R.S. recording artists from Cincinnati not only have both male and female performers, but they're also playing at the Blind Pig at 9:30 p.m.! $7.50 in advance at Schoolkids' or call (810) 645-6666. HAGEN STRING QUARTET Salzburg-based quartet makes its Ann Arbor debut with works by Mozart, Webern and Schubert. 8 p.m. at Rackham Auditorium, Tickets are $26-$14, with rush seats $8. Call 764-2538. F R I D A Y SAFFIRE, THE UPPITr BIUES WOMEN Paying tribute to past great female blues artists, this trio of "middle-aged blues" performers visits the Ark. 7:30 p.m. & 9:30 p.m. $15 in advance at Schoolkids' or 763-8587. ELASTICA They've been called the best band in five years and they're a cross between classics like Blondie and Adam Ant. But wait, there's more! They're playing with Six Finger Satellite at the Shelter. 6:30 p.m. $8. 18+. (313) 961-MELT. FIRST LIGHT From Cleveland, this popular reggae group rocks the Blind Pig. JES GRU Modem rock straight from our own city of Ann Arbor. Rick's. OCTAVIA 80 A.D. Strangely powerful and amazingly subtle, this band from Pickney plays with their very own labelmates, Oracle. Heidelberg. STRANGELOvE Remember your high school's band? Well, this one offers you blues and rock with a Memphis twange, but only if you can remember back that far. Cava Java. MORSEL Grunge with art from this local band. Worth seeing even though they're playing in Ypsi. Cross Street. THE KIND Toledo's modern rock comes to Michigan. Daphne Blue opens. Theo's. INDIA GREEN This trio is influenced by the late '60s and early '70s rock. All the more reason to see them and opening band 55Ffer. 8:45 p.m. Green Room. S A T U R D A Y MAJESTIC MUSIC FEST Ten of Detroit's best bands play a benefit show for Your Heritage House. Featuring Slot, Outrageous Cherry, Rocket 455, Cobras, Godzuki, Volebeats, Dirt Eaters, Astro Boy, Henchmen and Big Block. The Majestic. GROOVESPOON They groove and they might well be your favorite kitchen utensil. They play with Big Block at St. Andrew's Hall. 9 p.m. $5. 18+. EKOOSTIC HooKAH Hippie rock for the '90s at the Blind Pig. DICK SIEGEL Eclectic folk rock originals from Siegel, who's touring in support of his latest CD, "Angels Aweigh." 8 p.m. The Ark. $11 in advance at Schoolkids' or 763-8587. WILD SHEEP RriDEw For all you urban cowboys, come see this rambunc- tious country band at the Heidelberg. 3RD STONE Covering all the bases, this band plays rock, folk and blues. Cava Java. SLUG Buo Even though your arm might hurt afterwards, it would only be from getting kicked in the pit. This punk influenced modern rock band plays with Yellow #5 and Offence A.D. for a thrashing good time. 8:45 p.m. Green Room. S U N D A Y NEw TESTY MIn Ls Right in the middle of Borders, this six-piece bluegrass band will perform as part of the Upstairs at Borders Series. 1 p.m. Borders Books. Free. PIzzACATO FivE See Japan's coolest combo at Industry. 8 p.m. $6. 18+. CAMPUS BAND Damien Crutcher, conductor. 4 p.m. at Hill Auditorium, free. ter Falk (old and shriveled, right) plays with his ears in "Roommates;' F I L M S H 0 L D I N 0: Bni.Y MADISON Want to touch the heinie? At Briarwood: 12:20, 2:30, 4:50, 7:00, 9:10. At Showcase: 12:20, 5:30, 10:10. Boys ON THE SIDE The shocking, true story ff the man behind the morals: Rush Limbaugh uncovered at last. To be sh wed as a double bill with "John Wayne Bobbit: Uncut." At Briarwoo 1:50, 4:30, 7:10, 9-50. At howcase: 2:30, 7:40, 12:05. HE BRADY BUNCH This updated version of the TV classic features a drug- dealing Greg, a pimping Peter, a stoned Marcia, a Republican Jan, a pregnant Cindy and an e-mailing Bobby, who goes by the name "Jake Baker." At Briarwood: 12:45, 3:00, 5:10, 7:15, 9:30. At Showcase: 12:00, 2:10, 4:30, 7:20, 9:30, 11:40. DUMB AND DUMBER Dumbest. At Showcase: 12:00, 2:20, 4:40. HEAvYwEIGHTs This musical comedy about fat kids at a fat camp is sure to enlighten the insensitive viewer. With John Goodman, Dom DeLuise and Phyllis Diller as "The Temptress." At Showcase: 12:30, 2:45, 5:00, 7:10, 9-25, 11:35. t4 fHE HUNTED The fictional story of a large university that, fearing the onslaught of modern technology, decides to turn one under-sexed and over-imaginative student into a scapegoa#so as to set an example for others. At Showcase: 12:15, 2:45, 5:20, 7:50, 10:20, 12:30. JUST CAUSE Yeah, yeah, yeah, we know. Nicole was abusing you, right O.J? At Briarwood: 1:30, 4:15, 7:30, 10:05. At Showcase: 12:30, 3:00, 5:20, 7:45, 10:10, 12:20. LEGENDS OF THE FALL Brad "The Sexiest Man Alive" Pitt's Buttocks! At Brarwood: 1:10, 6:50. WHE MADNESS OF KING GEORGE Finally, the Bush bio-pic we've all been waiting for. At Ann Arbor 1 & 2: 12:15, 2:30, 4:45, 7:05, 9:15. THE QUICK AND THE DEAD Sharon Stone, in a tour-de-force performance which combines all the best scenes from her previous blockbuster flicks, masturbates under the glare of some damned Baldwin with her icepick and winds up dead real quick. At Showcase: 1:00, 10:00, 12:10. NOBODY's FOOL Jessica Tandy and Paul Newman play Bingo, tell war stories, and show off pictures of their grandkids (all while having sex). Not fort the faint of heart. First 50 viewers get free prunes. At Briarwood: 1:20, 4:10, 6:40, 9:20. At Showcase: 12:00, 2:25, 4:50, 7:15, 9:40, 12:10. IANYA ON 42ND STREET Suzy Polqanipski, a.k.a "Vanya" is a recent University graduate who arrives in big bad New York City only to discover that she has learned nothing, has no marketable skills and must resort to prostitution to pay rent on her one-room, rat-infested hole in the East Village. Among her clients are Jessica Tandy, Jesse Helms and Paul Newman. Based on testimonies from last year's graduating class. At Ann Arbor 1 & 2: (th): 4:40, 7:00, 9:15. TIME WALKING DEAD As far as we know, this film has nothing to do with Nicole Simpson. At Briarwood: 4:00, 9:45. At Showcase: 1:10, 3:20, 5:30, 7:40, 9:50, 12:00. SECOND RUN FILMS: Buu.ETs OVER BROADwAY At Fox: 7:15, 9:20. IEMON KNiGHT At Fox: 7:00, 9:00. WmMiU A NET You write the comedy with this improvisational troupe, and they're here every Thursday night. And it's not Comedy Company, so you're safe. 10 p.m., U Club (Michigan Union), $3 (entree plus it!), 763-1107. ROSENCRAGZ AND foEiwTERN ARE DEAD Those wacky Residential College Players are at it again with their rendering of Tom Stoppard's bizarre tragicomedy which focuses on two minor characters from "Hamlet." This is not the "Hamlet" you know and love, but it should be one heck of a laugh. 9 p.m., RC Auditorium (East Quad), FREE (but only on Thursday, $3-$5 other days), 761-3848. FIRST-YEAR PERFORMANCE SHOWCASE See the stars of tommorow today. 5 p.m., Arena Theatre, FREE: THE BAD SEED Set in the 1950s, this play details a young mother's fearful exploration of the possibility that murderous urges run in her family. Yikes. Sounds like a bad made-for-TV movie USA might carry, but it's really an award- winning drama. 8 p.m., Craft Theatre (Community High School). $3-$5, 994-2021. ONLY ME AND You A young actress gets more than she bargained for when researching a role. 8 p.m.. Purple Rose Theatre (137 Park St., Chelsea), $10-$25, (313) 475-7902. F R I D A Y THE BANUER OF SvuiE Under the auspices of the University Musical Society, the New York City Opera Company makes its annual visit with Rossini's rollicking classic opera. The young Rosina, under guard by the old Bartolo, is wooed by the Count Almaviva with a little help from the neighborhood barber. This is where that famous "Figaro, Figaro, Figaro" thing comes from. 8 p.m., Power Center, $42-$24, 764-2538. FIRsT-YEAR PERFORMANCE SOWCASE See Thurs., 5 p.m. YOU CAN'T TAKEf r Wn You Wayne State University's acclaimed Hilberry Theatre enacts Kaufman and Hart's rollicking comedy, exploring the antics of the Sycamore family and the wackiness that is their life. 8 p.m., Hilberry Theatre (WSU campus), $9- $16, (313) 577-2972. ROSENCRANTZ ... See Thurs., 8 p.m. ONLY ME AND You See Thurs., 8 p.m. SATURDAY ROsENCRANTZ... See Thurs., 8 p.m. FIRsT-YEAR PERFORMANCE SHOwCAsE See Thurs., 5 p.m. YOU CAN'T TAKE r WITH You See Friday, 8 p.m. ONLY ME AND You See Thurs., 8 p.m. S U N D A Y THE BARBER OF SEVIu.E See Friday, 2 p.m. ROSENCRANTZ ... See Thurs., 2 p.m. ONLY ME AND YOU See Thurs., 2 & 7 p.m. T U E S D A Y THE SISTERS ROSENSWEIG The first national tour of Wendy Wasserstein's Pulitzer Prize winning comedy hits Detroit, starring Nancy Dussault, Linda Thorson and Greg Mullavey. The dose of winter-warming humor we all no doubt need. 8 p.m., Fisher Theatre, $25-$37.50, (313) 872- 1000. THE Sistin ROsENWBI See Tuesday, 8 p.m. MONDAY M O N D A Y HOUsE OF WAX (1953) See Sunday. Mich 7:00. GIRLFRIENDS (1994) Sister Souljah and Barbra Streisand team up in a musical romp through Crown Heights. Hillel Aud 7:00. Free. SURREAL ANiMATION (1989) Same thing as getting stoned and watch- ing Looney Tunes for two hours. Mich 9:15. T U E S D A Y CINEMA IN INDIA FIm SERBIE Featured film is called "Genesis" with a cool soundtrack by Ravi Shankar (not to be confused with The Beatles). Nat Sci 7:00. Free. SURREAL ANIMATION (1989) The Newt Gingrich story in cartoons. So scary it's true. Mich 7:00. NEo HMom Pmouo (1994) A RANCID It's sold out, but...playing a distinct style of punk, Rancid is touring for their lastest release on Epitaph Records, "Let's Go." See this band made up of original Operation Ivy members when they kick the rear end of sanitized music. St. Andrew's Hall. 7:30 p.m. $8. POND This Sub Pop artist straight from the musical haven of Portland, Oregon, graces Ann Arbor with their unique modern rock and pop. See them before they're too big for you to get tickets to. Tracy Bonham opens. 18+ show. Doors open at 9:30 p.m. Blind Pig. $5 in advance or (810) 645-6666 SKY BLUES They've come here all the way from New York and they play hard rock with melody. They were named one of the year's Best Unsigned Bands and profiled by MTV. What more do you want? Rick's. COMPOSER's FORUM Works by students played by students at 8 p.m., School of Music Recital Hall. T U E S D A Y THE NIELDS w/ KART NEwHouSE 7:30 p.m. The Ark. Free. BILLGOAT Happening country (?) from Austin, TX. They play with the Plumbobs, who offer crazy slacker punk. Rick's. ECHOLYN Sony's own modern rock act plays with Detroit's Discipline. This should be a good show and hey, it's cheap. Blind Pig. $5 in advance at