4 - The Michigan Daily - Tuesday, February 28, 1995 ahle firtch ttn ]ButIl TWENGE THE ERASABLE PEN 420 Maynard Ann Arbor, MI 48109 Edited and managed by students at the University of Michigan MICHAEL ROSENBERG Editor in Chief JULE BECKER JAMEs NASH Editorial Page Editors Sex and the ex: Must libido jeopardize a friendship?' Unless otherwise noted, unsigned editorials reflect the opinion of a majority of the Daily's editorial board. All other articles, letters, and cartoons do not necessarily reflect the opinion of The Michigan Daily. Housing rates 'U' should justify recent increases At its February meeting, the University Board of Regents approved increases in University Housing rates. The increases--5.1 percent for residence hall rooms and 5.6 per- cent for apartments -were proposed by Vice President for Student Affairs Maureen A. Hart- ford and passed the regents virtually without comment. This quiet decision fails to recog- nize the meaning of such an increase to the students who have to pay it. For residence halls, 3.9 percent of the in- crease is due to inflation - a reasonable figure. However, another 0.7 percent will be allocated to extending Ethernet in the halls - a somewhat more questionable goal. While increasing student access to the Internet and improving convenience are certainly impor- tant, charging all Housing residents for the service is unfair. Not all residence halls will have Ethernet access next year, yet residents of all dorms will pay for the expansion. Further- more, Ethernet benefits only those students with computers, forcing others to pay for a service they do not use. Instead of folding Ethernet expansion into a total rate increase, perhaps Housing should charge only those who actually use Ethernet to pay for its instal- lation in the rooms. This would lessen the rate increase and inprove fairness across the board. The remainder of the increase for residence hall rooms is due to the change in next year's calendar. Because fall term begins two days earlier than in the past -on the Tuesday after Labor Day-the residence halls will open five days earlier than in fall term 1994. This plan also is flawed. The earlier start is due to the first football game of the season, to be held Satur- day, Aug. 26. Because many students want to move into their rooms in time for the game, the residence halls will be occupied nearly two weeks before the start of classes. This not only creates chaos in the halls for the week before classes begin, but unfairly penalizes students who do not wish to move in until closer to the beginning of the term. Instead of charging all students for this period of time, Housing could charge only those who wish to move in earlier than in previous years. Or - better yet -- the University could figure out a better schedule for classes and football that does not create such a dilemma for the Housing Division. The increases for next year are not outra- geous, and the majority is due simply to infla- tion. However, with more and more students rejecting the residence halls for off-campus housing, the University must be conscious of the impact of its rates. Increases should be thought through carefully, and should take care not to charge those who will never see the benefits of their payment. I spent my vacation with my ex-boyfriend this year. Believe it or not, I had a great time. Somehow over the years I've managed to stay friends with most of my ex's. I've also had quite a few platonic male friends. According to a lot of people, both of these are Really Bad Ideas. "Men and women can't be friends without the sex part getting in the way," opines Harry (Billy Crystal) in "When Harry Met Sally," and I know plenty of people who agree. Harry's got a point, but there are really two parts to his statement. I agree that the sex part gets in the way, but it doesn't have to sound the deathknell for a very unique and fulfilling type of friendship. My friend- ships with men have been some of the most rewarding relationships of my life, and they're worth every bit of trouble the sex part sometimes causes. So how can you possibly stay friends with someone once you've thrown small appliances at his head, shared all of your deepest secrets, and understood the disgust- ing intricacies of his morning throat-clear- ing ritual? My question has always been the opposite: How can you not? Especially if you're on bad (or homi- cidal) terms after a breakup, it's difficult to think about staying friends with an ex- boyfriend or-girlfriend. You're sick of them (or worse, they're sick of you), so spending more time with them turns the stomach. Yet in the not -too-distant past, this person was probably your best friend. As I see it, break- ing things off completely denies that any friendship ever existed. Chances are, you have a lot in common. There's also very little you have to ex- plain to an ex who's now your friend. They know about your likes and dislikes, your psycho mother, and your innermost fears. And of course there's all of your shared memories of things you did together and people you knew. Losing that is like losing a part of your life - a denial of memory. The sexual tension is also gone. It's sometimes a challenge to navigate around the attraction that may still exist, but for the most part you're comfortable being with each other. With an unfamiliar friend, you might worry about what you look like in your bathing suit. But as one of my ex's put it when we were going to go swimming, "Oh, you know what I look like." This is precisely the problem with cross- sex friends you haven't dated: You don't know what they look like, and sometimes you can't help but wonder. Making and staying friends with an Al- ways Platonic Opposite Sexed Person (APOSP) is both harder and easier than staying friends with an ex. It's better to already have aromantic partner when you're friends with an APOSP-you don't have to explain the unanswerable question of "If we like each other so much, why aren't we going out?" Often the answer is that you like being friends, but you're just not attracted to him romantically. He's not your type, or your religion, or generally not Mr. Right. Saying that, however, could wreck the friendship. It shouldn't. It's time to get beyond the deprecating label "just friends," and ac- knowledge that male-female friendships can be just as rewarding as same-sex friend- ships. Liking someone as a friend and not as a lover is not an insult. Being friends with a member of the other sex is also a great learning experience. Men are not a mystery to me - I've been friends with them all my life, and no one has to tell me what makes them tick. (If you're wondering, it's work and sex, just like most women.) Being friends with men has en- riched my romantic attachments and made getting to know men much easier. On a larger scale, male-female friend- ships are also a fundamental part of gender equality. A physics professor I worked for was surprised when I told him that I lived on a co-ed floor in my dorm. "Doesn't living with women tend to sissify the men?" he asked. By his way of thinking, men and women are only sexual objects to each other, not flesh-and -blood people who have things in common. But men and women who live in dorms with each other, talk to each other, and go places together find that the other sex isn't so different after all. Without cross-sex friendships, we are only bodies to each other-just the sex part, and nothing more. I Young, hungry, too bad Children lose in budget balancing act JIM LASSER r* SHARP AS TOAST NOTABLE QUOTABLE "Give us the money. We can use it more effectively and efficiently than any federal bureaucrat." - Georgia Gov. Zell Miller; a Democrat seeking finds for school lunch programs for children, after a GOP bill to eliminate the federal lunch program f recent legislation is any indicationHouse Republicans apparently would like to let America's children go hungry in order to bal- ance the federal budget. Last Wednesday five House of Representatives subcommittees ap- proved drastic cuts in social programs, includ- ing the reduced/free school lunch program, as well as Women, Infants and Children (WIC), a supplemental nutrition program for pregnant women, infants and small children. First itwas theCorporationforPublic Broad- casting, then peacekeeping funds for the United Nations. Budget hawks also plan to cut aid to Russia, federal assistance to veterans and home- less youth and job training and education pro- grams. Taking away culture and education and stamping out a chance for world peace is not enough - Republicans plan to yank the net out from under struggling American citizens. They have the mistaken impression that starv- ing the poor and denying them education will make them go away. The poor will not magically disappear. Malnourished babies and children will grow up to be underachieving adults. Refusing to feed people only perpetuates a depressed situation. Many believe that they could do it better than the people at the bottom of the heap, that somehow work ethics or family values could carry them. Chances are, not one person in Congress has ever been in the shoes of a welfare mother, unable to feed his or her children. Moreover, complaints about system abuse are not viable reasons to deprive children. Directing the consequences at the children only serves to punish them for the sins of their parents. Proponents of the cuts claim they have the children's best interests in mind. The plan is to wipe out federal school lunch programs, but give block grants to the states to imple- ment the individual food programs, reducing paperwork and cost. Stuck in a pipe dream, Republicans foolishly want to entrust these programs to the already-overburdened states. Unchecked, the block grants will become re- election tools for uncaring politicians, or will fill whatever holes the states need to patch. This "flexibility" will not create a comprehen- sive nutrition program, but a sloppy failure. Experience has taught the federal government nothing - social programs have never flour- ished on the state level. Furthermore, the ex- pense would more than likely raise the overall cost of school lunches, placing the burden on the middle class. Those who can now afford lunches at regular prices soon may not be able to. Apparently the conservatives have for- gotten their old adage: "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." They are breaking down a federal program that feeds approximately 25 million schoolchildren every day. In the state of Michigan, almost half of the children who purchase school lunches use the reduced/free lunch programs. Many schools also provide breakfast, ensuring two square meals a day. What is wrong with this program? Fortunately, the proposed cuts will meet some opposition in the Senate. In the mean- time, citizens must let their representatives and senators know that cutting school lunches and WIC is an abomination against innocent children. This overzealous destruction of worthy programs will attack a part of the population that does not even have a vote and needs special protection in such decisions. Whatever the budget problems, starving America's children is not the answer. VIEWPOIN Wright: I By Andrew L. Wright I am writing in response to the articles and editorials which have surrounded the action of the Michigan Student Assembly to recall me as chair of the External Relations Committee (ERC). While many of my actions were inappropriate, I would like to present my side of the story and report several facts about the matter that either have not been reported or have been reported incorrectly. I do not write this letter to exonerate myself from the actions that I have taken, which were wrong. However, I feel that there are some inconsis- tencies in the alleged acts put before the assembly on Tuesday, Jan. 31, 1995 and, as a result published in the Daily on Feb. 1, .1995. I was not found to be respon- sible for sending the anonymous donation of $796 to the assem- bly. I would like to emphatically state that I am in no way respon- sible for the donation or the con- ditions that were attached to the donation. Secondly, I was not involved with the financial over- sight of funds spent on the Asso- ciation of Big Ten Students Con- ference which I and two other assembly members participated in at Indiana University, Nov. 17-20,1994.I take full responsi- bility for not supervising these expenditures more closely. I didn't deserve MSA dismissal administration without MSA's knowledge or approval for up- coming conferences, I had spo- ken about both trips extensively in Steering Committee, had spo- ken about both trips and specifi- cally who I was going to request funding from in several ERC meetings. Additionally, I sent to MSA President Julie Neenan two e-mail messages letting her know about these meetings. Finally, I did not "disinvite" Mayor Ingrid B. Sheldon to the MSA meeting ofJan. 24, 1995. Iasked her if she would be willing to reschedule the meeting, which she did. I would also like to mention that according to the mayor's office and a phone conversation I pre- viously had with the Mayor she was planning to speak to MSA on Feb. 7, 1995 until she re- ceived a call from someone on MSA, parenthetically not my- self, who asked her not to come again. In summation of the alle- gations alleged against me, I am not responsible for the anony- mous donation. I take full re- sponsibility for the irresponsible spending at the ABTS confer- ence. I am confident that members of MSA's administra- tion and assembly members knew about my presentation to the University administrators before they occurred. I am also not re- sponsible for the later reschedul- ing of that appearance. winter 1994 elections, MSA had just withdrawn itself from the Michigan Collegiate Coalition (a statewide student lobbying orga- nization), the United States Stu- dent Association (a federal stu- dent lobbying organization), had not maintained any relations with the city of Ann Arbor, has no students involved in the city gov- ernment, and had allowed the subcommittees of ERC to dete- riorate. I immediately began the process of hiring an independent, outside, professional lobbying firm to represent the assembly in Lansing. This process was guided almost entirely by myself-from the initial bidding process through interviews, follow-up contacts, and finally the signing of the contract in January 1995. While members of the assembly did assist me, the majority of this work was done by myself. I also wrote the current procedures and guidelines used by the assembly for action on state legislation. Additionally, for the first time in the history of MSA I have posi- tively worked on the students' behalf in the chambers of City Hall. I have attended all but three regular business meetings of the Ann Arbor City Council, and I have stayed until their conclu- sion. I have had numerous con- tacts with the mayor and indi- vidual members of City Council outside their meetings. I was in- fect them. I also secured the mayor to come speak to MSA last year and speak at a student government conference held at Michigan over the summer, which has not occurred in recent history. I also assisted the assem- bly in bringing the mayor and members of the City Council to the Campus Safety Awareness Walk. In summation since my term began, and the External Relations Committee has been restructured to operate more ef- fectively, the membership of ERC and attendance at its meet- ings has more than doubled, new initiatives and procedures have been started and effectively pur- sued, state lobbying has been ef- fectively worked on with the hir- ing of our new lobbyist, and rela- tions with the city of Ann Arbor have improved exponentially. I will not, nor should I, apologize for these effective, necessary improvements made in the office during my- tenure. I fear that ground will be lost not gained in the next few months. While I do not agree with the actions taken by the assembly in the meeting of Jan. 31, 1995, I respect their decision and I have no desire to serve if the assembly has no confidence in my abili- ties. I do however sincerely ask the assembly and the entire Uni- versity community to question whether or not the actions they Sen. Carl Levin (D) 459 Russell Senate Office Building Washington, D.C. 20510 (202) 224-6221 Sen. Spence Abraham (R) B40 Dirksen Senate Office Building Washington, D.C. 20510 (202) 224-4822 Rep. Lynn Rivers (D) 1116 Longworth House Office Building Washington, D.C. 20515 I