Is Heaven fun with nuns By SHEILA WISELY Sr. Mary Regina, Kim Fletcher, is not The laughs in the Wayne State the most talented either. Her perfor- University's production of"Nunsense" mance, although not entirely bad, is the (running Jan. 26-29) are nonstop as the weakest of the five women as far as Little Sisters of Hoboken present a singing voice and line delivery. musical revue talent show unlike any Sr. Mary Hubert (Cheryl Ross) is other. It seems that a "small disaster the Mistress of Novices and an aspiring back at the convent" has left the sisters Mother Superior. Sr. Mary Leo (Stacy in need of some quick cash, and the Stoltz), the youngest of the group, is a Reverend Mother Superior decides to ballerina and wishes to dedicate her life raise it by showing off the abilities of a few select sisters, including, of course, b herself. Director Philip Fox couldn't go Nunsense wrong with this lighthearted script by Studio Theatre Dan Goggin, and the Studio Theatre's January 21, 1995 own additions make it all the better. ~ The intimate atmosphere of this the- to God through dance. Cheryl Ross and ater, located in the basement of the Stacy Stoltz give commendable show- Hilberry Theatre, make it possible for ings, although the two bestperformances the sisters to scope the audience for are those of Sr. Mary Amnesia (Abha prospective postulates as well as catch Mangrulkar), who was hit on the head naughty gum-chewers, allowing the with a crucifix and can't remember viewers to take an active part in the who she is, and Sr. Robert Anne (Shanna "Nunsense." The modest scenery and Peterson),astreet-wise sister who longs lighting effects are more than com- to have her day in the spotlight, but for pensated for by the distinctive per- now drives the convent car. sonalities and endless amounts of Sr. Mary Amnesia, played by Abha energy displayed by the actors. Mangrulkar, has the best voice and The cast consists of five nuns with her ventriloquist number, "So You secret wishes to become famous per- Want to Be a Nun," is one of the formers. These fun-loving sisters are show's funniest highlights. Sr. Rob- not your average penguin-suits, and ert Anne, played by Shanna Peterson, their "convent humor" exceeds the gives the most natural performance church walls. The Mother Superior. Sr. and her comfort on the stage suits her Mary Regina (Kim Fletcher), is the laid-back character perfectly. These mastermind behind the show and isn't two steal the show not only because What could be wackier than a nuns' talent show? 'Nuns On the Run,' natch! afraid to remind the others of her"supe- of their excellent performances, but performers put on a production that Theatre). Performances are riority," so to speak. She tends to be a bit also because they have the best lines. keeps the audience rolling in theirpews. Thursday through Saturday at 8 of a show hog, despite the fact that she Overall, the one-liners and down- NUNSENSE is playing Jan. 26-29 p.m., with 2 p.m. matinees Saturday is definitely not the most talented of the right playfulness of the musical are at Wayne State University's Studio and Sunday. Tickets are $10 ($8 nuns.Unfortunately,theactor whoplays tough tofoulupandtheStudioTheatre's Theatre (located below the Hilberry students). Call (313) 577-2972. I'm the Crypt Keeper!!! I'm the new Martin Scare-sese!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! Demon a knghtmare By KIRK MILLER Hello my pretties. Are you ready ra little "sharp" wit? HAHAHA... OK, that's annoying. Now spread Demon Knight Directed by Ernest Dickerson with Jada Pinkett and Billy Zane out humor and cheap thrills like that for 90 minutes and you have "De- mon Knight," the first of three planned movies based on HBO's "Tales From the Crypt" horror an- thology. Much like the TV show, "Demon Knight" never pretends to be clever, unique, or anything more than a good-looking blood bath. * Iexpectalittle more from a movie than something this "terror-ble." HAHAHA... The annoying mad cackles are courtesy of the Crypt Keeper, a sort of rotting vaudevillian zombie that hosts the movie (think of a less ironic, more dead Conan O'Brien) and drops in to unload a clever pun or two. "You're no 'Gory' Coo- er!" he shouts at John Larroquette n the beginning, setting the tone of cleverness to come. It's too bad the Crypt Keeper (who gets top billing) spends so much time stealing from other, better films; or should I say it "rips-off" their heart and soul...HAHAHA... never mind. Mr. Blocker (William Sadler) is on the run, ending up in the town of Wormwood to escape the Collector 'Billy Zane). It seems Blocker has the seventh key (see "The Seventh Sign"), the key that could represent the com- ing of evil if the Collector gets his hands on it (see "Evil Dead"). After a fiery car crash and a quick getaway, Blocker ends up in a hotel, where he meets a whore with a heart of gold, a disgruntled mailman, the rebellious-youth-trapped-in-her- qmal-town-but-dammit-she's-going- to-break-out (played for no reason by Jada Pinkett, who wastes her talent here), the town drunk and the whore's boyfriend. Before you can say "Stereotype" there's several te- dious moments of establishing char- acters. Try not to laugh at this "Three's Company" style of misun- derstanding: Whore sits on table. Cat jumps up next to her. Hotel owner walks by and yells, "Get that pussy off the table!" Whore jumps off. Hotel owner exclaims, "I was talking to the cat." Even the Crypt Keeper wasn't laughing at that one. Meanwhile the Collector locates Breaker and demand the return of the key to unleash their evil (see "Hellraiser III"). When this doesn't happen the Collector gets angry and unleashes an army of demons that spring from his blood (see "Grem- lins"). Zane also tries mind control (see "The Thing"), sends gruesome creatures to tear out various body parts (see "Dead Alive") and then must fend off the one woman as- sault of the buff Pinkett (see# "Aliens"). Director Ernest Dickerson wastes the talent he was given as a Spike Lee proteg6, showing us noth- ing that hasn't been done before and better. But the worst crimes of hor- ror movies are the coincidences that let the hero escape (see "Friday the 13th Parts I-IX"), and "Demon Knight" is chock full of convenient plot devices. I don't expect a horror movie to be subtle, but now it seems there's fi- nally a movie for people who thought "Dumb and Dumber" was a little too pretentious; this is the audience that, after a woman's arm was torn off and five minutes of gratuitous gushing blood later, I heard someone say, "See, the demon just ripped her arm off." Still as far as braindead entertain- ment goes, it's nice to look at and has a great soundtrack. "Frights, camera, action," the Crypt Keeper mockingly screams at the beginning. Man, that guy "kills" me. HAHAHAHAHHAHAAHA ... In space, no one can hear you scream. DEMON KNIGHT is playing at Showcase. 'Home:' better By FRED RICE With a name like Yellow, you've got to wonder just what the producers of this kiddy flick were thinking of. Were their thoughts set on jaundice? Were they trying to capture the es- than Benji, La time caring for his dog is absolutely absorbing. Dakotah, as Yellow, is phenom- enal. He times his weeping and bark- ing perfectly, expressing courage and fear, and his love for his master, which is truly genuine. As their number of days stranded increases, Dakotah of- ten looks weaker and more weary than Bradford does. To provide a splash of dramatic tension, the parents, played by Mimi Rogers and Bruce Davison, cry to each other, go on searches with the Coast ssie and Old Yeller combined Guard, and remain largely irrelevant to the story. The same goes for the two minutes dedicated to Angus's love in- terest, played by Margot Finney. These scenes, while filling in the story, dis- tract from the bonding of the boy and his dog. And they bond together beautifully, magically complimenting each other. Angus provides food, Yellow provides protection (in a somewhat scary scene involving wolves,) and both provide love. It's a love rarely expressed so well between species. It's at the top of the list, right beside such classics as "Black Beauty," "The Yearling," and even "Free Willy." Don't .be fooled by the title. While this movie is intended for kids, keep in mind that it has a PG- 13 rating. The content is intended for mature children, which is just about anybody who has ever had a dog and dreamed of an adventure more tantalizing than a walk around the block. FAR FROM HOME is playing at BRIARWOOD and SHOWCASE. 1W Far From Home directed by Philip Borsos with Jesse Bradford and Dakotah sence of that good old "Yeller?" It's a clever way to market this product as another "Lassie," which it really isn't. In fact, it's a lot better. The dog does have a prominent role in the film, but the true star is Jesse Bradford, who portrays a strong- willed and independent adolescent, named Angus. He and Yellow, played by Dakotah, must survive on their own along an isolated coast after the boy's father's boat capsizes. Fortunately, his father was a wil- derness expert who taught his boy a thing or two before their accident at sea. Watching Angus find creative means of survival while at the same Registration Datts Registration Site Classes Batsin For more information January 23 - February 5 Michigan Union Ticket Office @ 763-TKTS No mail-in registration Refunds will only be given it the course is canceled Use your Entree Plus Week of February 6 Call UAC @ 763-1107 VRO *PAE j LI IE __ Ake hdxdas lands ftakrg aNmd a s andsight honyn i a bo~w dwr aiqocasw' Tawsanot hid Council Travel 1220 S. University Dr. (Above McDonalis) " e . 998.0s2p0y0r valbiiypce' arf oter prig Bea de .111on- Power Jam Aerobics Ballroom Dance Section 1(I. Abbot) Section II(11. Abbot) Bartending Section I Section II Shawna RedCloud Intro to Cooking Creating With Clay May Oppenheim 1 f ', Mon/Wed Anderson Rm-Union 5:30-6:30 2/8-4/12 An Intense Cardiovascular exercise incorporating Cardio-Funk. Hip-hop and Tubing will be avaiable for specialty sculpting. A FREE week long membership at One-on-One Athletic Clubs will also be provided to all enrolled Aerobics students. $45 Thursdays Anderson Rm-Union 7:00-9:00 2/9-3/30 (no class 3/16) $45/couple Mondays Anderson Rm-Union 8:00-10:00 3/6-4/10 Put on your dancing shoes! In this course for beginners and intermediates. you'll learn various dances such as the Rumba, Fox Trot, and Cha-Cha. Mondays U-Club-Union 7:00-9:00 2/13-3/27 Thursdays U-Club-Union 7:00-9:00 2/16-3/30 Amaze your friends, annoy your parentsl Learn how to mix over 100 drinks. A certificate of graduation will be awarded upon completion of the course. Mondays U-Club-Union 7:00-9:30 2/13-3/27 Wake up your taste buds and learn to cook dishes from around the world, Regions such as China. India, the Mediterranean, France (pastries) and more will be explored through the culinary arts. **Note: the 1st class will meet until 10:00 and will include a kitchen safety discussion and a waiver of liability will be presented. **A $15 lah fee will he collected on the first night of class. ***Students are asked to bring their own paring knife and peelers to class. $40 $45* Saturdays Artspace-Union 12-3:00 2/11-3/25 Learn to use ceramics as a vehicle for both personal and artistic expression. Techniques include throwing. hand building, mold and tie making. Creativity and desire is a must. *A $15 dollar lab fee will be collected by instructor on the Ist night of class. How would you like to live with your grandfather? What if the cantankerous old man lived to be 106? Meanwhile, you're trying to get through the University of Michigan with an English degree (and there's so many jobs out there for English majors). If this sounds like hell, you might want to check out "Roommates," the new book from Max Apple that will be a major motion picture (starring Peter Falk) in March. Better yet, skip the movie and read the book; the story takes place in Ann Arbor, so you might recognize landmarks such as Drake's (R.I.P.) Apple reads from his new novel at 7:30 tonight at Hillel. It's $7 for the masses and $5 for students; for more information call 769-0500. Massage Section I(Barry Ryder) Tuesdays Pond Room-Union 7:00-10:00 2/7-3/21 Section II(jane sierra) Wednesdays Rm 1209-Union 7:00-10:00 2/8-3/22 Ahh...sRELAX...and forget about your worries. Learn the secrets to giving and receiving massages. Each session, students will practice their techniques. Bring a towel. Meditation Ka;ila Castoldi Photography Beginning (<&w) Intermediate (saw) Color Garin Homer Pool Session I Session 11 Derek Pogerski Sign Lanuage Mondays Pond Rm-Union 7:00-8:30 2/6-3/20 This is an introduction to meditation. Registration will be held at the UAC office, 2105 Michigan Union Mondays Artspace-Union 6:30-9:30 2/6-3/20 Wednesdays Artspace-Union 6:30-9:30 2/8-3/22 Thursdays Artspace-Union 6:30-9:30 2/9-3/23 Learn how to use your own 35mm camera, while discovering the excitement and magic of printing your own photos in the Beginning class. The intermediate will focus on applying creative techniques for photographing, film processing, and printing. Types of film, color labs and developing color negatives will be taught in the Color class. Color prints will not be made in class. *A $10 lab fee for Begin and Intermed/ $15 for color will be collected on the 1st night of class Tuesdays Union Games Room 7:00-9:00 2/7-3/21 Tuesdays Union Games Room 9:00-11:00 2/7-3/21 Explore the fundamentals of billiards. Sessions include handouts, demos, and practice time. $42 $42 F ree $60* $60* $60* $30 $30 tic a~.TIM- - l1s Kst Ta RV ®c 1 :.. / 11C C IG 1 .7 _ v a v v r a. r r v R ' I Mondav. January 23 7:00-8:30 pm Rackham Assembly Hall I