The Michigan Daily - Weekend etc. - Thursday, December 1, 1994 -5
A small screen, but not a small amount of fun
By SCOTT PLAGENHOEF
Americain the'80s was concerned
with the pursuit of money, fitness,
and safety from the evil empire across
the sea. Our nation cheered the lov-
able sprite Mary Lou Retton, jeered
the evil John DeLorean, gasped in
horror as a space shuttle exploded and
pted in glee as the hostages were
,leased from Iran. Collectively, how-
ever, ourmostriveting memories were
the times we spent as a family in front
of the soothing glow of America's
deity: the television.
The new and wondrous invention,
the remote control, realized the dream
of enjoying the grand box without
having to get your ass of the easy-
chair. Catchphrases like "Punky
Ower" and "What you talkin' bout
Mr. Drummond," inventive charac-
ters such as Balki Bartokomous,
Deputy Enos Strate and the whole
gang in "Mama's Family" delighted
audiences night in and night out.
Yet this wondrous era of classic
sit-coms, numerous dramas about
stinkin' rich and extremely bitchy
families, and creative detective shows
ts the source of as many problems
it was smiles. Mom wanted to watch
Tom Selleck's gorgeous smile on
"Magnum P.I." on Thursday night
but it conflicted with "Joanie Loves
Chachi." Dad loved that sassy Flo but
"Alice" conflicted with the twins'
favorite Wednesday night program.
"Facts of Life." The dilemmas were
endless, and this isn't even including
the now wide-spread joy of cable.
Fortunately, America solved its prob-
lems by getting a TV set for nearly
every room in the house.
The decade began by not carving
its own identity but by relying on the
classic holdovers from the 1970s.
Unfortunately, most of the magic of
that decade was, by then, in quick
decline. Richie and Ralph Malph had
joined the army and departed for
Greenland; Bo and Luke Duke had
left Hazard county to join the
NASCAR circuit leaving cousins Coy
and Vance to grapple with Roscoe
and Boss Hog; Schnieder somehow
just didn't seem to deliver the same
belly laughs he once had.
The saddest tragedy of all was the
upsetting of the magical original cast
of "Three's Company." NeitherCindy
nor Terri could replace the combina-
tion of voluptuousness and playful
naivet6 that Chrissy possessed. Simi-
larly, not even that wacky wardrobe
of Ralph Furley could compensate for
the loss of the double-barrel of laughs
that were Helen and Stanley Roper.
The classic misadventures and con-
fusing momentsjust weren't the same.
Even Larry Dallas' hair had lost a
little height.
The first true shared experience of
the decade was the shooting of J.R.
Ewing. The mystery over who un-
loaded on the star of the popular se-
ries "Dallas" held the country at bay
during the summer of 1980. It was
eventually revealed to be his preg-
nant mistress, Kristin. America's fas-
cination with watching really rich folk
squabble begat "Falcon Crest," "Knots
Landing," and "Dynasty." The fasci-
nation with wealth even parlayed it-
self into the highly successful syndi-
cated series, "Lifestyles of the Rich
and Famous" in which America, for
some unfathomable reason, watched
a whiny Brit count down the country's
best hotels or tagged along while
Lorenzo Lamas went vacationing in
Bora Bora. The genre eventually
ended right where it had begun, in
Dallas, with the asinine revelation
that Pam Ewing had dreamt an entire
season of the program, including the
demise of Bobby.
The majority of the rest of the
dramatic programming in the decade
centered upon crimesolving. Detec-
tives, cops, and a group of vigilantes
all fought the elements of evil; as did
eventually a mystery writer, a priest
and a country lawyer in a series of
programs which flourished in which
really old people solve crime.
There was Steven Bochco's "Hill
Street Blues." With its quick pace,
realistic storylines, and multi-dimen-
sional characters, it was OK, but paled
in comparison to the other cop show
of its time: the adrenaline-pumping,
awe-inspiring "CHIP's." Watching
Ponch and John cruise the California
highways, solving crime and break-
ing hearts was near ecstasy. It was
also without all of the topical, rel-
evant, boring story lines of "Hill Street
Blues." True, there was the horror of
having to sit through Bruce Jenner for
a stretch but Poncherello soon
reuturned and the wrongs ofthe world
were again righted.
Other crime shows of the time
included famous duos such as "Simon
& Simon," "Scarecrow & Mrs. King,"
and "Jake & the Fatman"; classics
such as "The Misadventures of Sher-
iff Lobo," "The Greatest American
Hero" and "Spenser: For Hire"; and
the dueling Heathers, Thomas and
Locklear, starring in, respectively, "TJ
Hooker" and "The Fall Guy."
Fighting crime was at its most fun,
however, when it was unorthodox.
The unpredictability of "The Incred-
ible Hulk" for instance; you never
knew when he would turn from mild-
mannered into a superhero. Not to
mention those sassy kids at "21 Jump
Street." Watching Depp and Grieco
preen while Peter DeLuise tried to
suck in his stomach was a brilliant
way to kick off a new network.
Yet the creme de la creme had to
have been the "The A-Team" and
"Miami Vice." Faceman, he would
always get the girls! And Murdock!
Whoa, you never knew what he was
going to do. He was out of control, I
tell you. And B.A., yeah, Bad Atti-
tude Baracas, sure he was afraid to fly
but boy he was no skirt-wearing Sally.
He kicked ass with the best of them.
The explosions, the fights, and no one
,ever got hurt. Not even the bad guys.
Pure brilliance.
As for"Miami Vice," any TV show'
which features the Motor-city Mad-
man, the Nuge, as a guest villian is top
drawer.
. Despite the abundance of dramatic
series (which might also be said to
include such other programs as "LA
Law," "St. Elsewhere," "Moonlight-
ing," and "Thirtysomething") and
touching dramatic moments such as
KITT running out of gas on "Knight
Rider," it was certainly the comedies
and varieties that made the '80s the
golden television decade that it was.
Regrettably, there weren't nearly
enough variety shows on the TV then.
Who can resist such works as "The
Mandrell Sisters" or "That's Incred-
ible?" It's a shame that those know-it-
all TV producers don't see the bril-
liance in a man with a beard of bees or
characters suddenly breaking out into
song. Let's face it; they never really
gave "Cop Rock" a chance.
The most watched comedy of the
Some fly by day, "Moonlighting" cleavage that we met by the way.
decade was "The Cosby Show." Be-
fore Bill Cosby brought his fractured
take on parenthood to NBC, the sta-
tion was in shambles.
The year before the network had
featured "Mr. Smith," in which an
orangutan with an I.Q. of over 250
becomes consultant to the President,
"Jennifer Slept Here," where Ann
Jillian portrayed a friendly ghost that
only the kids could see, and
"Manimal," a crime show whose pro-
tagonist had the ability to turn into a
black panther, all on the same night.
Yet the Cos rescued NBC and
began an almost never-ending series
of family comedies. Amongst them
were: "Family Ties," which catapulted
Michael J. Fox to momentary "Tiger-
Beat" stardom only to be replaced in
the hearts of the awkward, brace-
faced, "Sweet Valley High"-reading
female population by "Growing
Pains"' Kirk Cameron.
Eventually it became clear that
the traditional nuclear family did not
provide enough comedic situations,
so TV began presenting an array of
alternatives.
No less than four of which
("Charles in Charge," "Gimme a
Break," "Mr. Belvedere," and the
sassy "Who's the Boss?") featured
the family maid or butler as the true
head of the household.
Other variations included the self-
explanatory "My Two Dads," the
motherless "Silver Spoons," the fa-
therless "Kate & Allie," and the odd
couple of peppy little girl and guy-
who-played-Commandante Lassard -
in-"Police Academy" on "Punky
Brewster."
Some television families even pro-
vided heartfelt inspiration. "Diff'rent
Strokes" proved that young black
males can rise from the ghetto (if a
rich white guy in a limo pulls up to
their basketball court and takes them
to his penthouse). Also breaking down
racial stereotypes was "Webster" in
which yet another young brother with
a birth defect was exploited as a hu-
man plush toy.
"M*A*S*H*" had long turned
from vital to sappy, sure "Cheers"
was good and all and both "Taxi" and
"Frank's Place" were prematurely
canceled but the true laughs of the
decade were elicited by a true trium-
virate of comedy. The first was Dick
Clark and Ed McMahon's "TV's
Bloopers and Practical Jokes." Who
could keep their hands off of their
knees when such charismatic stars as
"Head of the Class"'s Howard
Hesseman orMattFrewer, TV's "Max
Headroom," fellprey to delicious gags
week after week.
Secondly, "Married ... with Chil-
dren." Living proof that jokes about
smelly feet, lack of sexual prowess,
and a good toilet flushing now and
then will never get stale.
Finally, there was "Alf." The sassy
alien from the planet Melmac. He
lands in the Tanner's garage, so they
decide it would be a great idea to take
him in as amember of the family ... if
only they can keep him from eating
the family cat. The comic possibili-
ties are endless.
As we continue to drift into the
'90s, laughing at Uncle Joey's end-
less impersonations and the wild an-
tics of Steve Urkel, we are reminded
daily of the horrors of our planet by
the brave folks on "COPS"; we try to
hold back the tears while watching
"The Commish"; we realize that, hey,
so what if "Love Boat" has been can-
celed, we still have a friend in TV.
*Just Can't Get Enough' of that powerful stuff from the '80s. New Wave is hardly old, don't you think?
REFLEX
to harness the power of video.
Slowly, the Kajagoogoos of the world
wereelbowed out by the Peter Gabriels
Continued from page 1
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and the Dire Straits. After that, Top
40 disappeared as radio and MTV
alike became more and more seg-
mented.
But what the New Wavers left
behind is pop music in its purest form.
Sometimes, genuinely great artists had
hits - it's hard to ignore the power of
Nick Lowe, English Beat, Joy Divi-
sion, XTC, X, Squeeze and the Jam,
even in such small doses. More often,
bands appeared with one great song
and disappeared - "Cars," "What I
Like About You," "(Dadada) I Don't
Love You, You Don't Love Me,"
"867-5309/Jenny," "Never Say
Never," "(I Ran) So Far Away" and
"Mickey." Some were classified as
one-hit wonders but were actually
much more substantive than anyone
gave them credit for -Culture Club,
Men at Work, Devo and the Go-Go's.
But that is pop music as it should be.
It's meant to be disposable, but it
winds up timeless. And nothing could
describe New Wave better.
Indeed, New Wave's influences
on pop music reach farther than a
mere revival. The music of the first
few years of the '90's backlashed
against the seemingly too-cool and
contrived music of last decade, re-
placing it with an attempt at a grittier,
more down-to-earth approach at writ-
ing and making music. Nirvana's
"Smells Like Teen Spirit" now obvi-
ously shows that something was afoot
in the rock hierarchy of the early
'90's.
But now that nearly every group
with loud guitars and angst-ridden
lyrics can get a record deal in hopes of
recreating Nirvana's phenomenal,
breakthrough success, perhaps the
'80's revival is a reminder that what
goes around comes around - that
even the most revolutionary sounds
can become as canned as what the
revolution was fighting in the first
place.
Interestingly, many new groups
combine aspects of both grunge and
New Wave. Particularly, current indie
sensations Veruca Salt show that the
connections between the two decades
are quite clear. Where the Verucas
take the sound of the '90s, their lyrics
and melodies are as sweetly
bubblegum as anything by the Go-
Go's. Similarly, Green Day's singles
"Longview" and "Basket Case" are
straight out of 1979 or 1981, with
their melodies being much stronger
than their angst. Hell, if you close
your eyes, you'd swear they were the
Buzzcocks or the Undertones.
But this phenomenon of modern-
izing New Wave has really taken ahold
overseas, where nearly every new
band borrows heavily from the era.
Blur, whose infectious synth-driven
single "Girls and Boys" was a minor
hit in America, is the most prominent
example of this trend, but Echobelly,
Gene and Elastica all play as if the
'90s were '80s, and their music is all
the better for it.
So, the New Wave revival isn't
just nostalgia -it's actually just a
clever form of recycling. A very po-
litically correct, '90s concept, isn't
it?
Oh, well. See you in '98 for that
grunge revival.
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