10 -The Michigan Daily - Monday, October 10, 1994 Stallone, Stone specialize in disaster EVERY DOG HAS HER DAY By PRASHANT TAMASKAR What do you get when you com- bie Sylvester Stallone and Sharon Stone? Plenty of gratuitous action, sex and several bare chests. Oh yeah, you also get a terrible movie. At least this is the case with "The Specialist," a film in which the premiere explo- sion literally occurs within the opening 30 seconds of the movie and the first nude shot a short time later. The film begins with explosives experts Ray Quick (Stallone) and Ned Trent (James Woods) executing a CIA mission that requires them to elimi- nate a Colombian drug lord. Quick realizes an innocentchild may bekilled in the explosion and attempts to abort, but Trent interferes. Their paths cross several years later when Quick is hired by May Munro (Stone) to help kill the men who slew her parents. Although D Specialist by Luis Losa; with Sylvester Stallone and Sharon Stone. he is, of course, a truly sensitive indi- vidual who does not enjoy murder, Quick is persuaded by the alluring Munro to do the job. Trent, seeking revenge against Quick, further compli- cates the situation by also striking a deal with May. When a love interest amazingly develops between the two big stars, we are left on the edge of our seats, pondering what could possibly happen next. Of the dialogue, acting or direc- tion, it's really hard to say what was the worst part of the movie. The con- versations between the characters are simple, awkward, and rather idiotic. It's difficult to believe that this script was actually written by an educated adult. It's equally difficult to believe that the actors are considered to be well-known professionals. Stallone is his usual post-Rambo self, calmly destroying everything in his path. Stone cunningly teases her male counterparts into submission. Unfortunately, especially for the hero- ine of a movie, she manages to alien- ate the audience to the point that we almost end up rooting against her. Sadly, a horrible job of casting was done in placing the very Ameri- can Rod Steiger and Eric Roberts in the roles of the father and son of a Cuban-American crime family. Steiger struggles immensely with his accent, creating a laughable Cuban- Italian-American dialect. At one point he even refers to his Cuban son Tomas as Thomas. Roberts, while more convincing than his fictional father, is too much like an Eric or Thomas than an Enrique or Tomas. With casting like this, it's nearly impossible to take this movie seriously. Apparently, "The Specialist" at- tempts to have a more complex plot than other recent Stallone films, such as "Demolition Man." While the After her summer flop "Lassie," Lassie tried her paw at direction. The result? Stallone and Stone's "The Specialist." On the strength of this effort, she signed a deal to direct Jean-Claude Van Damme's next three flicks. She is also shopping a sequel to "Reservoir Dogs," but Quentin Tarantino refuses to return her calls. Hollywood has indeed gone to the dogs. storyline does take several twists that aren't necessarily predictable, they simply do not work. In fact, they merely augment the overall absurdity of the movie. Add to that an absolutely tasteless scene involving a mixed-up funeral and it's hard to find any redeeming attributes at all. Then again, consider- ing the overall quality of the more recent works of Stallone and Stone ("Sliver," "Cliffhanger," and "Inter- section") what else could you possi- bly expect?, THE SPECIALIST is playing at Briarwood The most eagerly-awaited sex scene since Harvey Keitel in "The Piano." 'Only You' searches for romance, discovers a cheese puff V Don't Panic!! If you think you're pregnant... call us-wejlisten, we care. Problem Pregnan Help 769-7283 Any time, any day, 24 hours. Fully confidential. We specialize in helping students. By FRED RICE In attempting to recreate the senti- ments of an old romantic comedy, "Only You" searches for all the charm, wit and enthusiasm that made some- thing like "Roman Holiday" pleasantly tolerable. Yet, it discovers nothing, choosing to advertise Italy instead. This cheese puff begins with Faith (Marisa Tomei) fleeing her boring fi- ancee - a podiatrist naturally -to go find her soul mate in Italy. She has dreamed about him since childhood, having received his name, Damon Bra- dley, from a Ouija board. She brings Kate, who is stuck in a bad marriage to Faith's brother. They search for ro- mance and adventure. They find an American shoes salesman and an Ital- ian playboy. They become happy, become sad, and become happy again. Perhaps melo- Direc dramas like this Jewiso call on their per-T formers to over- / T act a little, but Marisa Tomei ap- pears to have an allergic reaction to the movie camera. Her excessive facial contortions tend to suggest that she is about to sneeze, rather than look distraught or up- . vset. only You cted by Norman ,on; with Marisa )mei and Robert Downey Jr. She might have won an Academy award, but that was for a comic perfor- manceasabimbo. This role calls for I Have a voice in Uof MPolitics Run for office Michigan Student Assembly Elections held this November 16th & 17th something more serious. What keeps her going here are her drop-dead gor- geous looks. Norman Jewison must have been aware of her features. Look out for the most gratuitous lingerie shot since Janet Leigh in "Psycho." Jewison must have been a little bit confused when he started directing this movie. His previous film, "Moon- struck" was much more enjoyable. Yet he references it with perpetual shots of the moon on the horizon. In "Only You," instead of developing interest- ing scenes and ideas, he pays too much attention to banalities. Two extremely long montages of Venice and Rome as well as shots of Perhaps melodramas like this call on their performers to overact a little, but Marisa Tomel appears to have an allergic reaction to the movie camera. mountains and the countryside indi- cate that Jewison was a bit too happy to be shooting in Italy. He, wound up making a movie that resembles a tour- ism commercial. Jewison didn'texactly have the best material to work from. Diane Drake's script emphasizes the obvious. Her characters plug the names of the restau- rants and hotels that they pass through. Kate (Bonnie Hunt) remembers all of the celebrities who visited the same locations from "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous." All of this fits well with Jewison's tourism conspiracy. The noteworthy attempts at acting by Bonnie Hunt and Robert Downey Jr., as Marisa Tomei's potential love interest, can't stand up against the neg- ligent writing and direction. However, Billy Zane pulls off an amazing feat as Damon Bradley, combining the heart throb appeal of Fabio with the surfer personality of Keanu Reeves and pro- viding the movie with it's only truly funny moments. Save your bucks for the truly inter- esting films premiering this fall. You can find cheap romantic entertainment like this on TV. ONLY YOU is playing at Briarwood and Showcase. Y; , MSA Representatives In: Business I LS&A 8 Dentistry I Medicine I Education I Music I Engineering 3 Public Health I Kinesiology I Rackham 4 Social Work I Y Marisa Tomei, shown here in "The Paper," gets sentimental in "Only You." 'I STOP BY THE MSA OFFICES ON WEDNESDAY OCTOBER 12th AT 3909 MICHIGAN UNION FOR AN ELECTION PACKET. EVERYBODY IS ELIGIBLE FILING DEADLINE IS 5:00 PM, OCTOBER 26TH or call Chris for information 763-3241 Cor To t flss. class lb UAC's Soundstage Welcomes TORI AMOS UNDER THE PINK TOUR p. r- __ r ro vo4% o r If r° 0Q oqO4off For all you love-sick puppies- SWEETEST DAY IS APPROACHING! But this year, forget the flowers, the candy, the card, the expensive & crowded restaurant. I ri * a u I- m a t V Mon" r