Is Textbook 'Twelfth Night' entertains By MELISSA ROSE BERNARDO There is nothing more refreshing on a hot sum- merday than agood Shakespearean comedy. Herein lies the value of the Stratford Festival's production of "Twelfth Night." As far as "Twelfth Night"s go, this one presents nothing n e w , thought- provok- ing or revolu- tionary. It's =just --very nice. And we cannotcondemn this production forits basic entertainment level. Festival Artistic Director Richard Monette has given us a textbook production of "Twelfth Night," though seemingly he would like us to believe other- wise. The design is lovely, the story enchanting as always and the comic turn of events thoroughly satisfying. But textbook it still is. "Twelfth Night" begins when Viola (Lucy Pea- cock) and her brother Sebastian (Tim MacDonald) are shipwrecked off the coast of Illyria. They are separated, so neither knows the other has survived. Viola disguises herself as a young man and enters the service of the Duke Orsino (Scott Wentworth). Viola/Cesario soon falls in love with Orsino, but Orsino is enamored of the Countess Olivia (Alison Sealy-Smith). Olivia's brother recently died, and as a mourning gesture has sworn off men for seven years. When Viola/Cesario visits Olivia on Orsino's behalf Olivia is attracted to the boy, and here begins a fun love triangle. Viola/Cesario loves Orsino, Orsino loves Olivia and Olivia loves Viola/Cesario. Of course, this is only the beginning of mistaken identities, tricks and practical jokes which give "Twelfth Night" its comic charm. Monette, with the aid of designer Debra Hanson, has attempted to show the contrast between Orsino's and Olivia's kingdoms. Orsino's is a sort of primi- tive one, with divans and curtains strewn about and shirtless young men attending him. Because Olivia and her maid Maria are both played by African- Americans, theirclothing and decorations are clearly African-inspired. Monette's is an admirable effort, buthe doesn't take it as far as he might have. Perhaps Orsino loves Olivia because she is so different, because she possesses 'that exotic mystique; the contrast between their kingdoms is not pronounced quite enough. Hanson's set is fine, and she deserves special kudos for the mammoth hibiscus flowers which open on stage. (And you thought that falling chan- delier trick was something special.) The live orches- traplaying "Brazilian" music is a nice tough as well. Any bland qualities of this production are over- shadowed by fine performances (with the exception of Brian Bedford's as Feste). Lucy Peacock is enchanting as Viola/Cesario; her deep, rich voice makes her a convincing boy and her inherently feminine airs make her an attractive Viola. And she has a separate gown just for the curtain call! Scott Wentworth, Lewis Gordon and Yanna McIntosh all deserve special mention. And stealing any scene he is in is Stephen Ouimette as Sir Andrew Aguecheek. Ouimette hams it up so much you wonder how he can keep from laughing at himself. In a perfectly hilarious moment, Ouimette stomps on stage wearing a Napoleon hat, carrying a little bundle of a dog in a matching hat. Even the dog is a hoot! Overall this is a very nice production. One could argue that it should be more than nice - that directors should be bold and daring with Shakespeare, But sometimes you just want a light, refreshing comedy. And that is exactly when you will want to see "Twelfth Night." TWE LItF HNIG HT plays through November 13 at the Festival Theatre in Stratford, Ontario. For tickets, accomodations or information about this or any other Festival production, call the Stratford Festival Box Ofice at (519) 273-1600. With his uproarious performance, Stephen Quimette lit up 'Twelfth Night' s .. .. _, _r. .. __...... .. Timecop'can't be saved by Van Damme's splits w By ALEXANDRA TWIN With its coherent action sequences, occasional humanistic exchanges, re- strained amounts of random splits and lunges and the gnawing realization that someone probably sat down with the intention of creating a plot, there is 4 Timecop Directed by Peter Hyams with Jean-Claude Van Damme and Ron Silver certainly a case to be made that this is the best Jean-Claude Van Damme film yet. With its ludicrously assembled nar- rative, laughable attempts at acting, frequent, unnecessary gym moves and the gnawing realization that someone probably sat down with the intention of creating a plot, there is also a case to be made that while this is probably Jean- Claude's best, does it really matter? The answer is a resounding "no." More handsome than Schwarzenegger, more buff than Stallone, more engag- ing than Seagal and arguably stupider than all ofthem combined, Jean-Claude Van Damme may have all the right ingredients of the next big action-star, but has he had an acting lesson, ever? This is not to say that any of the others have, but when Van Damme, as the troubled Timecop, Max Walker, gets a call from his boss saying that he's needed for a dangerous mission, there's just no way that there's any one on the other line. He's talking into space and even it's not listening. Walker's your average, studly, Bel- gian, kick-boxing police officer. But the year is 2004 and of course, time travel is possible. So is evil and there's an evil politician on the loose. A mad, raging and prematurely balding Senator Aaron McComb (Ron Silver) wants to go back and fix crap games and stuff so that he can make a lot of money and be the president. The Time Enforcement Patrol thinks that plans like these are bad, so they hire a bunch of cops to protect time, to be ... timecops. Thus, the challenging title. Walker is more than glad to join the program, considering that his wife Melissa (Mia Sara), is dead and he's kinda hoping to either go back and save her or at least meet some cute Jean-Claude Van Damme may have all the right Ingredients of the next big action-star, but has he had an acting lesson, ever? pre-historic chicks in the process. Six years and one bad haircut later and McComb and his band of lackeys are still running around, cheating old la- dies out of fair Bingo wins and doing other despicable things. Time is running out. Who will win? Who will lose? Who will be cast in another film? Certainly not Mia Sara, as the latest simpering, yowling, slip-clad woo-man of Jean-Claude. Gotta give the guy credit though. He does have apenchant for casting one-hit wonders like Sara ("Ferris Bueller's Day Off") and Rosanna Arquette (1993's "Nowhere to Run") and giving them a chance to really show their stuff. The graphic, unnecessary sex scene appears a full eight minutes into the film, for those of you who are impatient. While the "Mussels from Brussels" may have quite a lot to look at, he's awfully hard to listen to. This has less to do with the understandable accent barrier and more to do with the fact that his line delivery is so atonal that it makes Keanu Reeves sound expres- sive. The film does attempt to foster the interesting moral debate of what would you do if you could go back in time and change your fate. This reviewer would have buried her press-pack. TIMECOP is playing at Briarwood and Showcase. How Many Questions Separate You from the LSAT Score You Need? The LSAT is a very highly leveraged exam. Correctly answering only an additional 4 or 5 questions generally improves your ranking by 10 full percentiles. Thus, rising from the 70th percentile to the 90th requires approximately an additional 10 correct responses. At EXCEL, we systematically guide you through the reasoning required to consistently make these fine distinctions that separate good scores from truly great ones. Call for our Free Overview of the Law School Admission Process or our class schedules for upcoming exams. Preparation for the Dec. 3rd LSAT starts in early October. 1100 South University Test Preparation 996=1500 Liz Phair unleashes a supernova I By HEATHER PHARES What do you do if, in the past year and a half, you've gone from making tapes in your bedroom to having one of the best albums of 1993 to being on the On songs like "Support System" and "X-Ray Man" Phair's characters loudly and proudly declare their inde- pendence from the men in their lives; internal feelings and states of being get the rock treatmenton "Shane"and "Jeal- ousy." Then there's a bunch of just great pop songs like "Go West," "Dogs ofL.A."and "May Queen."Ifpossible, Phairhas managed to cram more hooks, melodies, and riffs into "Whip Smart" than she did on "Exile In Guyville," to a marvelously catchy and addictive effect. "Whip Smart" is just another one of the best albums by one of the best artists in recent recording history. Let's just hope Liz Phair doesn't get bored with being so darn whip-smart. cover of the latest Rolling Stone maga- zine? If you're Liz Phair, you keep the ll-crafted, insightful and catchy rock Coming. "Whip Smart," her second album, will keep the critics in the ec- static state her last album "Exile in Guyville," put them in. t It's not really fairtocompare"Whip Smart" to "Exile" other than to say that "Whip Smart" is not a radically differ- ent album or a dramatic step forward (or backward). Phair's favorite topics (men, relationships, emotions) are just amply present on "Whip Smart" as fey are on her debut. The only notice- able change between the two albums is the slicker but still warm and open production on "Whip Smart," which is co-produced. by Phair and drummer Brad Wood. But to say that this is just another Liz Phair album is disingenuous; as if "just another" collection of great (and 0 art) pop songs, by a fiercely intelli- nt and creative woman is a common commodity. "Chopsticks," the open- ing track on the album, is a piano and feedback-driven ode to the angst sur- rounding one-night stands; "Super Nova," the single, celebrates the love her lifea in an nualmav: "You * Purchases and Sakes At The University of Michigan Thursday, September 22: Office Hours 1:00e4:00 Michigan Room Michigan Unon Thursday, September 22: Presentation and Reception 16:00 P.M. - 8:00 P.M. Anderson Room C & D Michigan Union The TI-85 builds on the functionality of the TI-68 and adds a wide range of graphing capabilities. So math students can handle calculus problems more easily. And technical stu- dents can see the functions for a better understanding of problems. The TI-85 also handles complex numbers, matrices, vectors, lists and strings. Plus it offers a powerful one-equation SOLVER. The TI-68 solves up to five simultane- ous equations. Has complex number functions. Offers formula program- ming. Even has a last equation replay feature. All at a great price. 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