0 0 ' 24 - The Michigan Daily - Best of Ann Arbor - Thursday, April 14, 1994 0 0 0 0 Tha Mirhictan r)ni lit: mA~iim fl- Hey, lookit you, fool: Flotsam gets the la: tii - _1_1. r_ 1 n Best Game: (tie) Michigan versus Ohio State (football), Michigan ver- sus Lake Superior State (hockey), Michigan versus Indiana (basketball). Although many great games were played the past year in Michigan ath- letics, a three-way tie is in order for this category: Michigan 28, Ohio State 0 - Any -m time the Wolverines beat the Buck- eyes is a reason to celebrate, but shut- ting out OSU and denying John Cooper's team a trip to the Rose Bowl is one to cherish for the ages. Michigan 4, Lake Superior 3 (OT) - Brian Wiseman's goal in the extra session allowed the Wolverines to show the Lakers who would be king in the CCHA this season. Michigan 91, Indiana 67 -- After losing to the Hoosiers at Bloomington in January, the Wolverines put on their best performance of the season. In- spired by Chris Webber's first appear- ance at Crisler Arena since departing for the NBA, Michigan put forth an effort that made fans want to cry with joy. Even Jalen Rose dove for a loose ball. Most Unsung Hero: Mike Stone Although known to be one of the CCHA's top penalty killers, Mike Stone proved to be more than that as he always seemed to be involved in a play that made the difference for Michigan. The senior forward earned team MVP honors as well as captur- ing the same award in the CCHA post-season tournament Biggest Mismatch: Michigan versus North Carolina State in the Hall of Fame Bowl The Wolverines proved they were the best 7-4 team in the country going into the game, blasting the Wolfpack 42- 7. N.C. State won only six games against Division I opponents (the minimum for post-season qualifica- tion) before taking on Michigan. Best Performance by an Individual/ Group: Men's Indoor Track Medley Relay team Another category chock full of great achievements. Ron Hollis' no-hitter against Michigan State. Chad Chapman's four-home run perfor- mance against the Spartans the same weekend. Swimmer Gustavo Borges capturing two individual titles at the NCAA Championships. The women's indoor track medley relay team captured a national title of its own. However, only one group set a world record, and that honor belongs to the men's indoor track medley relay team. The talented quartet of Nick Karfonta, Trinity Townsend, Scott MacDonald and Kevin Sullivan shattered the record, held by Arkansas for eight years. The Razorbacks later recap- tured the record at the NCAA meet in March. Best Performance by a Team: Men's Cross Country The men's cross-country team won the an unexpected Big Ten title, end- ing favored-Wisconsin's eight-year run of conference crowns and allow- ing coach Ron Warhurst to pop the bottle of champagne he had been sav- ing for years for such an occasion. "Lookit you, fool," my column is saying from inside the Daily as you perfunctorily tear out the crossword puzzle and release the gutted paper carcass, casting it off gently to settle against the grit of the vestibule floor. COMPLETE TRAVEL RESOURCE CENTER IsHir w a ~3- 1u-r nI U * MULTI COLOR SPECIALISTS * ARTIST ON STAFF * RUSH ORDERS " NEAR U OF M CAMPUS 1217 PROSPECT, ANN ARBOR 665-1771 F with this ad. "Lookit you, fool," my unphased col- umn is saying to the bottom of your foot. As your eye flicks across a head- line and you register briefly that somebody whose first paragraph you once read is bidding farewell to all zero of his followers, my column shares a silent joke with itself. It's saying critically, "Lookit you, fool" as you read past it. And even if you are going to read it, it's lying in wait here in the newspaper bin before you've yet picked it up. Right now you're not here yet, and my column - unseen but fully articulated, pressed between other pages, repeat- ing its message every instant - is saying, "Lookit you, fool." It's lying here in wait, smirking and commenting on you while you're standing there innocently looking at the front page. And if you're done reading it, and you're just about for- getting about it, right now my column is saying, "But I'm not forgetting about you. I'm here crumpled up in the garbage with a banana peel on my face, saying, 'Lookit you, fool!"' If you intended to read it but didn't know it was in the paper today, my column is saying to you, "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't give me that crap." And you don't even know it and you never will, probably. This just goes to prove that when a tree falls alone in the for- est it sure does make a sound. After all, you're not here to see this and meanwhile this is still here, saying, "LOOKIT YOU, FOOL!" Even if this instant you are read- ing these very words, the next few words that you are about to read but had no inkling of at the beginning of the sentence are sitting 10 words from here on the page, silently saying to you without your knowledge, "Lookit you, fool." You know now, but for a few seconds you were being laughed at again behind your back. Right now - later on for my 20th century readers - it's thousands of years after fools from long ago failed to read my column or ever even to hear of it. They never even knew my column existed and now they're dead. But my column's here as an artifact in this museum located in the station- ary, weightless cortex of a rotating space installation in the nether reaches of the Andromeda galaxy. There's a curator floating with his back to my column and my yellowed ancient col- umn is saying to him, silently scream- ing at him, from inside this case: "Lookit you, fool." Even if he looked right at my column he would never know what was being said to him be- cause no one can read this kind of English anymore. In an ancient unin- telligible language, my column is say- ing simply, "Lookit you, fool." And yes of course, long after the moment just described has passed, the last extant copy of my column will be physically disintegrated. Even now, this space installation is sailing with mathematical precision and at abnormal velocities through silent space, nearing the burning dark aura of a dying nova. For the first time my column is being heavily irradiated. Now heat is vibrating the outer hull into a molten gelatin. But my column is still here, saying from in- side its glass case, "Hey big bad nova, lookit you, fool." Millions of miles from human perception, my column is this instant mocking giant space ATTENTIH Earn extra academic credit this Spring/Sun transfer the credits back to your university t Here's a sample of the courses we will be of phenomena. The nova, mea innocently proceeding to cc entire installation into a bri fly. These symbols are sittin last moments of existence when I say, "poof' they're be gone. Ready ... and ... But until then, my colu here for all other times, me fact, it's mocking people a that will come into existenc ter the expiration of my co sitting here at any of these Internal & External Frame Backpacks From Dana, Lowe North Face, Gregory SOP . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . W Vxl' I ~ -. :, _ Travel Packs-Convert to Backpack or Luggage From Gregory, Eagle, Creek The PRX by TISSOT: the sportive, robust Swiss watch with a quartz movement, sapphire crystal, and a steel or leather strap. Water resistant down to 100 metres. Also available as a chronograph, TISSOT Swiss Quality Time An Ann Arbor tradition! 1 1 1 1 1 R1 SSANTS redrp1snc18 HI 1 1 G OU RMET ucR EM H EES 1 1 1 C R E M 1I 1 1 1 136SINIEST Accounting Advertising Algebra (4 levels) American Government Analytic Geometry & Calculus Anatomy & Physiology Art History Astronomy Autocad Biology Business Communications Business Law Career Decision Making College Composition Computer Literacy Computers/Prog Criminal Justice Differential Equ Drafting Economics Geography Geology History Inorganic Chem Keyboarding Literature Management Marketing Master Student Medical Termin( 332.& 335 S. State St. - 751-5207 -Open Sundays, 12-5:00 Most spring classes begin by May 23, some number of classes also start in June. For furt College Admissions Office toll free 1-800-53t TODAY for your free copy of the entire Aca Pick up and complete a free Michigan Unifc from your university's Registrar's Office. 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